The Bachelor of Shame

I don't watch many reality shows. The ones I watch, I tend to think of as the "gold standard" of these kinds of shows: Survivor, Dancing with the Stars, The Bachelor, Bachelorette. An occasional Amazing Race. That's pretty much it.

In all my watching of all of these shows (most of them from the very beginning), I can't recall seeing such a season of shame as what's going on right now on The Bachelor. Thankfully for America and for Ben F (our illustrious Bachelor), after next week, it'll all be over.

I wanna dissect what's happened so far from two perspectives:

1. He was a user/manipulator and so was she.

2. He had no idea, and is now in hell.

Let's try the first one on for size. If you listen to some of the tabloids, Ben was only in it for sex. He never wanted a wife. And if you looked at his choices, there were many (and I do mean many) great women this season. Ones with open hearts, great looks, genuinely into him, reacting genuinely, even telling him they were "falling in love" with him. At every turn, when this stuff happened, that particular woman was the next one to get bounced.

And on every episode, he was kissing and hugging and getting physically intimate with women (to varying degrees). Every episode. Starting with the FIRST one.

So, yeah, a cynic would say that he was just in it for the sex, and his fav among them all was the beautiful model. You know, the one who stalked him and seduced him in the ocean. While they were both naked. And if you tell me sex didn't happen that night, I have some swamp land to sell you.

That would be the cynical view. These two people who SPOILER end up together next week, deserve each other. They are both manipulators, just on this show to get famous or in Ben's case "to talk about his winery," according to one tabloid.

Although, truth be told, he did mention it was either in Sonoma or San Francisco, but they never showed it, and he never named it, so if he was "self-promoting" as they claim, he did a pretty piss poor job of it.

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The thing is, I'm a romantic. I don't wanna believe that all the reality shows are actually "written." I don't wanna believe that anyone goes on The Bachelor without actually seriously trying to find love. Well, sure, there's the odd duck here or there trying to promote themselves, but that usually backfires. Right, Wesley?

But let's just play out this narrative.

Let's say that Ben F. appeared on the first show, genuinely wanting to find a wife. Or at least someone he could have a relationship with. Long-term.

Let's ignore that he really turned down every woman he could conceivably do that with.

And he's walking, stumbling, tripping through this season, doing the best he can. And suddenly a woman who has a good head on her shoulders is telling him to watch out for another woman. He ignores it, and actually thinks worse of said woman (who, btw, I would marry in a heartbeat. She's awesome. Very straightforward.).

Note to all future Bachelor/Bachelorette contestants: If someone in a season comes to you to complain about someone else, at least listen. Don't dismiss them.

So, the season goes on. He continues to make bad choices, but for the most part, the best women stay till the end.

And again, three women whom he likes tell him AGAIN about this particular woman, who, for whatever reason COUGHsexCOUGH he keeps picking.

OK, one woman, could be a fluke, could be just two people who don't get along. Now it's FOUR different women? And you don't pay attention? :-/

But OK, he still thinks he's in love with this model. She keeps stringing him along.

Until the point he dumps the woman who really has become America's sweetheart. She is quite possibly one of the best Bachelor contestants ever (except for her parents, she'd be perfect).

But she is beautiful and wonderful and she's genuinely in love with you. She is DUMPED (you stupid fool) and still she RETURNS to talk to you. To get some closure, since she was so blindsided. And as she's leaving, she says Oh BTW, I still care about you and this woman, the one I've been telling you about all along, is going to break your heart.

She's got no more skin in this game, she's already been dumped. And STILL you don't listen?

This is the point where I blame the producers, actually. Though they very likely have a bunch of heartless bastards running The Bachelor, and saw this whole Courtney debacle as a great way to get ratings, since everyone hated her so much.

But what happened throughout the season was that they just kept running interviews with Courtney shooting off her mouth, being an ass, dissing the other girls (of course, we are going to hate her). And now, maybe four shows from the end, they start having her say stuff (this is the scripted part) that she's all in love with Ben and blah blah. Like we believe her now?

Cause, you know, the "goal" of a Bachelor season is to have a man propose at the end AND to have America collectively swoon, as he gets down on one knee. Here's what's going to happen instead. As Lindsey is the first one getting out of the limo (aka the dumped one), you will hear TVs all across America clicking to another channel.

I know mine will.

In fact, if it were me, I'd fire whoever produced this Bachelor season.

Because it's been really painful to watch. You see all throughout, this loser/bitch saying crappy things about the other girls on the show. She was ugly and hateful and spiteful and mean, and didn't play by the rules. I don't care what anyone says, the little jaunt in the ocean was where the season effectively ended. Game over.

And they had cameras there, filming it. It's not like they weren't participants in this train wreck.

I mean, hey, if you want to make it all about Who Can Get the Bachelor in the Sack first? that's a whole different show. I think Snooki's on it. On THIS show, girls like to watch it because they wanna believe in romance. That courtship could be possible. And ever since Puerto Rico, which was like four shows in, I've just felt this stench of shame, watching it. Every episode.

Courtney's smug smile, knowing she wasn't going anywhere, cause she'd already banged Ben. Ben, believing so gullibly that this hot model really wanted HIM and not stardom.

Again, I say, where were the producers? Really? Next week, he's going to propose to Courtney and you think there is going to be anything but collective puking all across America? Chris Harrison rightfully in this last episode, "Women Tell All," called Courtney, the woman all of America hates.

The Bachelor should take a page from Survivor. Last season, they had all these spiritual people on (on what I think was the best Survivor season ever). It was a joy to tune in each week. I rushed to the TV. I live blogged it. I participated in the "virtual living room." I wanted to see more of it, cause what was happening was so stunning and amazing. And, conversely, this season, everyone is like The Bachelor was this season: mean, manipulative, spiteful. I've turned it off. Why bother?

But back to poor soddy Ben.

Let's assume that what the tabloids say is true: He proposes to the wench Courtney next week. So blinded by the way she stroked him in the ocean, he can't see what women all season long have been telling him. He proposes to her.

Then, he goes home, and actually watches the season unfold. He sees all the interviews with Courtney, where she is mean, spiteful, wenchlike, bitchy, cruel. Hears how much America hates her. Sees all the dirt the tabloids dig up on her, how she isn't even attracted to him, and is just doing this for fame.

Sits through last week's "Women Tell All," where 90% of the show is the women bitching about Courtney or bitching AT Courtney. The last 15 minutes are Ben (in a show that's normally mostly devoted to the Bachelor). He enters with the very telling phrase, "Welcome to My Nightmare."

When he said that, I have to say, I felt immensely sorry for him. To be dragged through this muck because some producer went with the Let's Hate on Courtney ratings bonanza, instead of letting a man just maybe find a soul mate.

Why is it, Bachelor producers, that Survivor has had BY FAR more couples hooking up that stay together than The Bachelor can manage in all its seasons? Why is that?

I would suggest that just like some smart producer managed to nip that Wesley baloney in the bud quickly, they should've done so, too, with this Courtney craziness. Let the poor man see some dailies or something. How horrible this is now, for him to watch this, as America, or at least the part of America that's still watching this train wreck, is sitting there thinking what a colossal ass he is. He sits there in his shame.

Has proposed to someone who totally played him, and all of America knows it. It's ugly.

The Bachelor used to be something you could believe in, and dream on. Now it's just some tramp having sex in the ocean, and I can't wash off the stench.

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Social Media With No Social: Pinterest

Again and again, people talk about the next hot thing. MySpace faded, then Facebook appeared. There's always a next hot site around the corner.

So it was with great interest that I went to seek out this new Pinterest thing that everyone's talking about.

In fairness to Pinterest, it does solve a need that wasn't really being filled. Pictures just by themselves always seemed very out of place on FB. So thanks, Pinterest.

What it does NOT do well, in fact, does really abysmally, is connect one person with another.

Really, of all the social networks out there, the only one getting this right at the moment is Twitter. Twitter knows how to connect people with other people. It knows that's what people WANT.

All these homages to narcissism (and the new FB Timeline is even WORSE in that direction) are all well and good, but I wanna know what OTHERS are thinking, doing, feeling, experiencing today. I already know where I'm at, and everyone in my life does too.

Let me explore others' ideas, thoughts, or, in the case of Pinterest: pictures.

First, of all, it gives you some possible choices that are an SEO's dream. You can just see the potential advertisers salivating as they explore everyone's favorite travel sites, for example. Or clothing decisions. Do I really care to show that to the world? Or to see what beauty soap anyone else is buying? Um. No.

So, ok, let's assume that I love showing people photos, which, as it happens, I do.

Even as a photo site, Pinterest fails. It has no ability to crop or change photos or put together collages. It just lets you pin stuff from the web as it shows up. And then these pictures that you've selected go out into the world, to be viewed, and if you're lucky, "repinned." Woo!

Seriously?

You would think it would at least have (something one would think is de rigeur for any social media site these days), a stream of info available. Things people are currently pinning. If it's there, it wasn't apparent.

I supposedly added a bunch of FB friends, but I can't see them or their Pinterest boards. Not easily, anyway. How will they be able to find mine, should they choose to? Very frustrating.

All these social marketers are just spinning with the newest hottest thing, but they are all forgetting why we are here in the first place. WHERE'S THE SOCIAL? Let us connect with others. If you don't have that on your website, whatever your website is, you are FAILING as a social media site.

A Consideration of the Best Actress Race: Real-Life Impersonations

Let us examine, for a moment, from a deeply detailed acting perspective, who deserves to win the Oscar for Best Actress, and who doesn't, and why.

Two nominees played real-life people that we know and (maybe) love. Meryl Streep as Margaret Thatcher. Michelle Williams as Marilyn Monroe.

Let's take Beauty first, then Beast.

Back in the acting days of my youth, there were several actresses that I studied thoroughly: Bette Davis, Kathryn Hepburn, Jane Fonda. And Marilyn Monroe. I knew their gait, their phrasing, their breathiness or lack thereof, I knew their histories, as much about them as I possibly could.

So I started out seeing "My Week with Marilyn" with several prejudices: 1. that really NO ONE can do Marilyn and 2. that Michelle Williams can't act.

Sure, I liked her fine in Dawson's Creek, but since then, she has pretty much left me cold. Didn't think she deserved the nominations for Brokeback Mountain or Blue Valentine.

However, I will say, she deserves this one. It's a very tall mountain to climb to recreate Marilyn Monroe. Williams even taught me something about Marilyn that I didn't know: that she was a series of poses, always posing, even in repose. And, in this movie, Williams does some pretty impossible stuff.

She recreates famous dance scenes, and movie moments, so much that you forget that you are watching another actress. That is no small thing. She has her breathiness down, and her movements. Even her insecurities. For all of those things, for which Williams herself says she "worked harder than she ever did in her life," she gets an A+ in my book.

Sadly, here is where she falters. While she was meticulous about recreating the voice, the mannerisms and the steps and phrasing, she missed the heart of it. She missed the things that really made Marilyn tick.

The script, in Williams' defense, only really gives you bits where this Marilyn shines, but in each of them, Williams falls flat.

Here are the key questions one will ask at the end of this movie:
1. What really drove Marilyn to succeed (and to chase men)?
ANSWER: her childhood in orphanages, and feeling like everyone abandoned her

2. What was her connection with Fame? Why didn't she just give it all up and "settle down" with one guy?
ANSWER: She couldn't, cause fame is a drug like any other. She needed that.

Two scenes ask these questions of her, and Williams' performance (to me) fell completely flat in these scenes. So put that Oscar away for this year.

In one, she is looking at the dolls in a dollhouse. There it is, the metaphor is just about hitting you over the head. This was the moment for the actress to break our hearts with her shattered psyche. BAM. Nothing.

In the second, she is lying on the bed, and her lover asks her to just give it all up and settle down with him. This is the moment where the actress needs to give us some insight as to why Marilyn couldn't give up this lifestyle or settle down with this, or any, man. BAM. Nothing.

At the end of that scene, a really poignant scene, the audience should have been sobbing, or at least, thinking, that poor woman. I felt nothing after watching her. She could've been doing her nails. Very unfulfilling.

Meryl Streep suffers from the other problem. She is phenomenal, the script is dreadful and the direction is hokey.

But for me, it was like this. There is an opening scene where you see an old British woman, buying milk. Like her performance in Angels in America, where you see an old Jewish man, and go, HOLY CRAP! That's Meryl Streep... it's the same here. She walks and talks like an elderly British woman. As she talks more, in closeup, in the next scene, you see that it's Margaret Thatcher.

To be fair, her hair and makeup people also deserve an Oscar, cause WOW! This makeup was unbelievable. I've seen nearly all Meryl Streep movies, and I swear, I had a hard time seeing Maryl in there.

She also loses points (like she did last year) when a good chunk of the movie is someone else playing the younger years.

But wow. You wanna see a virtuoso playing that acting instrument, you need go no further than Meryl Streep in "The Iron Lady." I really didn't like the movie at all, but when Streep was in frame, she was riveting. My favorite scenes of hers were the ones with Jim Broadbent. They really could've made better use of Anthony Stewart Head, too.

Streep didn't look like Thatcher as much as Williams looked like Marilyn, but as far as capturing a heart and soul of a person, this Oscar is Streep's, hands down.

I have yet to see the other three performers in this category, but at this moment, I'm calling Streep for the win.

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Why Tramps Ruin The Bachelor

Let's start with the things we know for sure.

Most reality shows, including The Bachelor, are scripted. Those who script them aren't unionized, and thus, don't get paid enough for writing them, which also usually means the writing is subpar. Not only are the dialogue and contrived situations horrendous, but there is usually a lack of originality. Of late, for example, The Bachelor has relied on throwing in elements of good reality shows, in hopes that it will elevate its own material (not working, of course).

This season, for example, for no apparent reason, they've thrown in elements of Survivor and Fear Factor. They seem to be obsessed with putting people in high places and making them jump. A couple climbed to the top of a bridge in San Francisco, cause yeah, that's what couples do on dates. Dreadful, lame, tiresome.

See, I remember in the first couple of seasons, back when The Bachelor was actually good. Or at least it had a lot of promise. The premise was that 28 women would vie for the heart of one man. Doing normal stuff, like going on dates. Ones that involved tables and food and talking, not swimming with sharks, or jumping into deep pools in dark caves.

One thing Survivor does really right, and The Bachelor does really wrong, is that it's forgotten that people themselves are really interesting. People's personalities, and what they'll do in situations are what made reality shows great originally. Now they are just a cheap way to make a buck. It's very sad.

But I'm not writing about the sad state of reality shows. (One good one left--unscripted--Survivor, starts a new season Wednesday. Do catch it.)

No, I wanted to write about sex for a minute.

So let's again talk about what we know. People have sex. People have sex on reality shows, even though it's usually not talked about, since we are, after all, dealing with network TV. Romances blossom on Survivor. In fact, more couples have met and stayed together on Survivor than they have from The Bachelor or Bachelorette. Combined. FACT.

But it is the sad mess called The Bachelor that is the subject of today's treatise. (It being Valentine's Day, after all.)

So let's go back to the days of innocence, when The Bachelor was good. Imagine with me for a moment. Imagine, though it's a crazy situation... imagine that you did go on a reality show to find a husband. And imagine that, against all odds and likelihoods, you met this guy, and there was an instant spark. (It could happen.)

Most of these other 28 girls just want to be on TV, or whatever their reasons for being there are, but you meet this guy. You fall in love the first night. And he does too. He feels the same spark. (It could happen.)

Cause really, when I think about it (sure maybe something could develop over six weeks), but really, I would know instantly whether or not there was a spark between me and said dude. So, say there is.

And say that you are now in this game, this obstacle course, where you have to get to the end. All these other women have to go away (for whatever reason) and maybe you can actually get to be with this man. (It could happen.)

Let's say, for the sake of argument, that you have one such woman this season. Let's say her name is Kacie B. She's sweet, she's cute, she's perky. She's there "for all the right reasons," a Bachelor phrase so overused I cringe whenever I hear it. She likes this guy, this Ben. He likes her. Maybe even a lot.

How would you feel, I wonder, to see all these other women battling (either for his attention or just for camera time) it out? And what if one of said women was a scheming, conniving bitch (whether written that way, or just was), who would do anything, both for camera time and to "win" this game, get to the end, to play out every episode?

I've often wondered that about this show. Given its many constraints, what could you really do, to get and hold this guy for yourself? There really isn't much.

Kacie B. has relied on grabbing kisses and alone time when she could. It seems to be working. I'd bet money she'll be one of the two standing at the end with Ben.

But her nemesis (this season's nemesis), let's call her Courtney, uses a different tack. She uses sex.

Anyone knows that if you want to get and keep a man, especially if you only have six weeks in which to do it, and dozens of other women are clawing around you trying for the same thing, you have to use sex.

I'm sure The Bachelor rules prohibit it, at least until the whole "Fantasy Suite" malarky, which hasn't even happened yet this season. There has been a whole lotta kissing, but not even any hot tubs to speak of (as in seasons past).

But there was this. Resident wench Courtney decided to break a few rules and corner Bachelor Ben at his hotel room. They went down to the surf to go skinny dipping. I would bet a year's salary that sex happened that night.

Courtney is annoying, but she's a model, and if I were Ben, I would for sure keep her around until Fantasy Suite time, for at least one more roll in the hay before dumping her.

But back to the good and innocence of The Bachelor. The show, ostensibly, is about true love. Or finding love. So what if, let's say, our heroine, Kacie B. does end up getting engaged to Ben at the end of the season, and she's sitting at home, watching the episodes go by, and she sees, what she didn't when they were all in Puerto Rico. She sees Ben's little frolic in the sand with the model?

Ben has so far been very cagey about whether or not he ends up proposing at the end. Or whether he's "happy now," which they always ask at the beginning. I suspect that even if he was happy for awhile, once he let out the "Oh, btw, I slept with Courtney" truth, that was the end of that.

But here's the thing. As a viewer of the show, even a viewer who mostly likes the show (even with all its "leap list" and bad writing, even with all its improbable dates), I watch every week, I wanna believe. But that whole thing with Courtney, and Courtney's smug attitude that Ben wouldn't even think about sending her home... Personally, I think it went like this. He said to her, "We can have sex, and I'll keep you till Fantasy Suite time, if you promise to not tell ANY of the other girls. If you do, you're going home in the next rose ceremony."

Cause she's been obnoxious and rude and braying about everything else, but about this big secret, this big elephant in the room, she's not lording it over anyone. There had to have been a deal made there.

Or maybe the producers came down on her heavy too. Cause it would really ruin the show, if all the other girls knew.

But aren't they all just sick to their stomachs now, seeing it unfold before them? I know I feel tainted watching it. Like there is some oily substance stuck to my psyche that I can't get off. Every time Courtney is on screen, I feel like throwing up.

We shall see... how it all evolves. But I bet Ben is alone when all is said and done.

What do you think? Sex on The Bachelor? Good thing? Bad thing?

Mr. Shovel Weaves His Magic on a New City of Night

It was three years ago, to the day that Mark Sovel, Indie 103.1’s illustrious music director (aka Mr. Shovel) had his last airshift on Indie. The next day, for all intents and purposes, Indie died.

It continued on (and continues on to this day, a shell of its former self) in Internet-only format. Which would be great if the powers that program it really knew what to do with it. And, of course, if Mr. Shovel was still there.

I remember it well. I turned on my radio (yes, I actually had a box sitting by my window that had FM stations, though the only one it was tuned to was Indie 103.1, of course). I turned on TK’s program in the morning, and everyone was talking about how great the station had been. Like using past tense about it.

Soon enough, with one final My Way (not the Frank Sinatra version), Indie was gone.

I sobbed at my radio that day, I sobbed all the way up to Sundance (driving, that’s a whole lotta sobbing). In many ways, I’m sobbing still. It hurts when the best radio station that ever existed goes away.

And what has been my music repast in the intervening three years? Well, being a digital girl, I’m big on Internet radio. I keep hoping someone somewhere will develop actual radio on the Internet. Like a Huffington Post for radio. (Well, except that pays people. Ok, bad example.)

I never really got into Pandora or Slacker, though I have friends who swear by both. I have friends who seek out all kinds of stations on the Internet. One cool one that played 60s music from Paris really intrigued me for awhile.

But after the wealth of musical treasure that was Indie, nothing really sufficed. There were people from Indie who left to develop other things. Kurt St. Thomas went off to develop Houndstooth Radio (www.houndstoothradio.com ), which I admit, I listen to more than anything.

Chuck P. and Henry Rollins ended up over at KCRW.

Chris Morris still puts out a great show on the Scion Network:

http://scionav.com/radio17/12/Watusi-Rodeo

And a whole passel of ex-Indie-ites migrated over to Moheak Radio. Trouble is, every time I try to listen to it, it either pushes a bunch of annoying ads at me, or I have technological problems receiving it. Every time. So I don’t.

There are still some good tunes on Indie dot com, but the heart and soul (aka Mark Sovel) is gone. As he said when he left, “it’s like someone’s just playing their iPod for you.” (There are a couple of good shows here or there. I particularly like Bob Forrest’s Wednesday night show, “All Up in the Interweb,” which airs at 8 pm PST. Native Wayne’s show is fun too. My friend still listens to Retrograde, and wins tickets from them.

But pretty much, for me, there is nothing there worth listening to anymore. Nothing that made Indie Indie. (This is true of Moheak, too, btw, no matter how many ex-Indieites are there.)

Cause what made Indie “one of the best stations in the country,” according to Rolling Stone magazine, was quite simply its music director, Mark Sovel.

And he has been very quiet on the music front in that three years. Giving us bits of his genius with an amazing LobsterFest regularly, and other concerts curated here or there. But on the radio scene, he’s been silent.

Until now.

Mark Sovel’s first air show in three years (other than filling in for folks occasionally) aired Saturday, Jan. 14. Three years to the day of his last one.

It’s called “City of Night,” and it airs on college radio station KCSN (88.5 on your terrestrial radio dial, also available online and with a cool iPhone app that will record shows for you. LOVE that.). From 8 – 11 pm every Saturday.

One can’t help but wonder what’s up with this college station, KCSN. Sovel thanked the program director, Sky Daniels, by saying that he “made him want to get into radio.” He wasn’t kidding either. Hm.

In addition to Mr. Shovel, Daniels also brought on Sat Bisla, who has been airing Passport Approved on every station that’ll have him, it seems; and Terry Nunn, of Berlin fame. He had already brought on KCRW’s Nic Harcourt to do a show and Julie Slater. Radio heavyweights, to be sure. Hm.

The rest of the program schedule is an odd mix, a local blues maven called “Ann the Raven” has a show on Sundays. So does Robert Hilburn, the writer. There’s some Dylan, some roots music, some Americana and some bluegrass. And opera. Mr. Daniels, it seems has no problem with specialty shows.

Well, I don’t know about all that. Not sure if I’ll be checking out all those other choices. I do know this.

Mr. Shovel is on Saturday nights. His first show was like manna in the desert. Such great music played, and all over the musical spectrum. Some things you would expect: a number of local bands, some OMD, some Jam. Many things you wouldn’t expect.

He kicked it all off with the Rolling Stones’ “On with the Show.” Perfect. Not long after, some Pink Floyd. You heard me. Pink Floyd. And Zepplin, as in Led. One song from Indie’s regular rotation: Depeche Mode’s “Get the Balance Right,” and boy DID HE!

As usual with a Shovel show, it was all perfectly timed. Like puzzle pieces falling into place. The Kinks, for heaven’s sake. Followed by local band, Saint Motel, who enlivened Tar Fest this fall (Shovel curated part of it).

A song I can’t get enough of: Split Endz’ “Six Months in a Leaky Boat.” And another (I love it so much) Neutral Milk Hotel’s “In the Aeroplane Over the Sea.” It just makes me happy to hear that song.

Gil Scott-Heron. Jimi Hendrix. Wow. LA band The Blood Arm from their “Berlin period” (aka now). Brand-new Giant Drag, and Sharkey’s Night, for gosh sakes (with William S. Burroughs).

And, if you’ll recall, Mr. Shovel is the one who spots the hot bands before anyone else does. His recommendation from this show? Electric Guest. Watch that name. You heard it here first (I promise you).

I could go on and on, but if you want to know where Indie went, you could look to that whole passel of people who talk about it incessantly, or you could simply look at this playlist for a minute.

http://www.mrshovel.com/2012/01/15/city-of-night-playlist-january-14-2012/


That Dylan song he played made me cry. Followed up by some cuts from local bands from a Dylan tribute album, which is a fundraiser for Amnesty International called “Chimes of Freedom.” Airborne Toxic Event doing “Boots of Spanish Leather.” Silversun Pickups doing “Not Dark Yet.” Cage the Elephant (ok, they’re not from LA, but the song was great) doing “The Lonesome Death of Hattie Carroll.”

I was literally so overwhelmed after all this good music after his show, it took me several hours to calm down. Oh, Mr. Shovel how we’ve missed you!

Tune in to the next City of Night next week at 8 pm. And pray really hard that they get podcasts sometime.

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GOLDEN GLOBES FILM PREDICTIONS

Items in Bold are the ones Miche picked correctly.

BEST PICTURE Drama
Hugo (although some are predicting The Help, which I have yet to see)

BEST ACTRESS Drama
Viola Davis, The Help

BEST ACTOR, Drama
Michael Fassbender, Shame

BEST PICTURE Comedy
The Artist

BEST ACTRESS Comedy
Michelle Williams, My Week with Marilyn

BEST ACTOR Comedy
Jean Dujardin, The Artist

BEST ANIMATED
The Adventures of Tin Tin

BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE
A Separation

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS Comedy
Jessica Chastain, The Help

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR, Comedy
Kenneth Branagh, My Week with Marilyn

BEST DIRECTOR
Michel Hazanavicius, The Artist

BEST SCREENPLAY
Woody Allen, Midnight in Paris

BEST SCORE
Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross, Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

BEST SONG
"Hello, Hello," Gnomeo & Juliet (Elton John)


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BEST TV SERIES Drama
Homeland

BEST ACTRESS Drama
Claire Danes, Homeland

BEST ACTOR Drama
Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad

BEST TV SERIES, Comedy
Modern Family

BEST ACTRESS, Comedy
Laura Dern, Enlightened

BEST ACTOR, Comedy
David Duchovny, Californication

BEST MINISERIES
Mildred Pierce

BEST ACTRESS, Miniseries
Kate Winslet, Mildred Pierce

BEST ACTOR, Miniseries
Idris Elba, Luther

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS, TV
Jessica Lange, American Horror Story

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR, TV
Guy Pearce, Mildred Pierce

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Sizzle or Steak?

I consider myself a journalist first and foremost. News beats in every fiber of my being. After that, maybe a designer, maybe a writer.

I want to comment on this article a friend sent me, based on several things that happened this week.

http://www.web-strategist.com/blog/2011/02/28/expand-your-social-media-mix-twitter-alone-is-not-enough/

First, the Associated Press, long our go-to news source (and yes, we newspapers paid heftily for the priviledge) chastized their reporters publicly for "Tweeting" while they were in the thick of the drama down at #OccupyWallStreet this week.

The traditional way, you see, would be for said reporter to get said news, go back to the newsroom with it (hopefully getting at least two sources for said news along the way). Give it to one's editors, and then the editors would do what they do, bending it, shaping it, making it ready for public consumption (in the case of AP, on all (paid) outlets that AP streams out on).

Twitter has changed that.

I also covered (as a journalist) the events of #OccupyWallStreet and #OccupyLA and other events in the Day of Action this week (Nov. 17). Using the social media at my disposal: mostly Twitter, also Facebook.

Twitter changed the way I process news.

I like and respect Jeremiah Owyang, and read him on Twitter and other outlets. However, in this instance, he's missing the point.

As a designer, they used to tell me: know your tools. Know which one to use for which purpose. So it is, too, with social media.

While all his comments about permanency and Twitter are valid (sure, I wish they had an archive function, or a timeline thingie like Facebook is about to have, but they don't). Permanence is not the importance of Twitter, nor is "time spent there wasted."

Twitter for me (sorry, AP) has become my primary news source. We have raised a generation of news junkies, and we want it now, and we want it fast. Twitter gives us that primacy.

Let me illustrate for you a story, of part of my week, how my "social media" life went.

I spent a good chunk of the early morning Day of Action online. I was multi-tasking between Twitter and Facebook. (I have a large contingent of friends on Facebook who still don't see the value or need for Twitter. Sadly.)

So, as the story of the day: Day of Action, mostly #OccupyWallStreet was breaking (a story, I might add, that MSM journalists were barred from covering, thanks to Bloomberg's "media blackout"), I was manning the controls. I had my news sources in action who were in the thick of things.

I was monitoring my Twitter feed. When items came across, I would cross post them (RTing them to my stream (2000 people) and posting them on my FB wall (1300+ people). Who then reposted to their streams and walls. I posted pictures, I posted video, I posted commentary. I heard when the first people got arrested, I heard when the police captain offered himself up. I was, as much as I could be, right there in the thick of it.

That's how news works today. (Several people sent me emails that day, thanking me for my coverage.)

The AP journalist KNEW that, yet was chastized for it. (It's against company policy.) If you are right there, on Wall Street, you have the news as close as your Twitter feed. That's as much as you have control of it today, because everyone around you also has a camera and access to the world.

So for me, monitoring my Twitter feed (which I do at least daily) takes the place of reading my daily newspaper. It is certainly "steak" for me on great news days, though when people are just talking about nonsense, it isn't.

I don't consider one iota of time that I spend on Twitter "wasted." I wish I could spend MORE time there. I wish I could've spent all of the Day of Action on Twitter, for example.

Owyang says: "if you Tweet more than 20 times a day, you should have just blogged."

Everyone uses these tools differently. For me, I use Facebook as a platform to get information to my friends and family. (Especially those who, for whatever reason, aren't even ON Twitter yet.) I use Twitter as a short-term news source, but also for whatever bursts of items I may want to discourse about: whatever's happening on Survivor or Dancing with the Stars, some movie or song I just experienced, etc. If it's a longer thing that warrants a blog, I'll write one. I have two blogs, in fact.

But while many people use Twitter to post links to people (I primarily use FB for that), I most frequently now ReTweet others. I follow 2000 people. I ReTweet the interesting bits for others in my stream. As far as my own posts, I probably don't do 20 in a day, but on some news-heavy days, I can be RTing 100+ times.

I also "live blog" frequently on Twitter: the Oscars, the Emmys, Survivor and its finale; or sometimes conferences that I'm at. The first few is to share a communal experience with people, the conference stuff is for people who can't get there.

It has never been (for me) about "what did I have for breakfast?" It is very much about "what am I seeing/hearing/feeling/experiencing right now?"

Owyang wants to get people over to things that make money for him. I am about documenting our social journey. For me, Twitter IS the steak. If I had to only live with ONE choice for social media, it would be Twitter, in a heartbeat.

If people want to know more deeply how I feel about an issue, they can friend me on Facebook, or read my blogs. Or listen to my podcasts. There are vehicles for everything. I think anyone who forcefully weans themselves from any social medium is an idiot. (As is anyone who still isn't anywhere on this value chain.) We are all still learning and growing with these new tools, and learning how they best work for us.

I have a friend that I had to drag, kicking and screaming, to get onto Facebook this week. He's an actor, wondering why his agent isn't calling him so much. "Are you on Twitter? Facebook?" I innocently asked him one day. Turned out, he hadn't ever even SEEN a Facebook page. (This was about a month ago.) I'm sorry, but that's inexcusable.

I mean, I suppose, if you really have a spiritual vow to be a hermit, it would be ok. But if you are living, breathing and alive in the world, it's inexcusable. Especially if your work is as an actor!!! When you are depending on casting directors to cast you. "Did you know about all the casting directors who are on Twitter?" I asked him. His face paled, he looked incredulous. "Well, no." "Huh. And have you been working a lot lately?" I continued. "Well, no."

EXACTLY.

Twitter is a news source, a job source, a living breathing hive of activity. To cut oneself off from it... you might as well be typing on an electric typewriter and watching a black/white TV.

I understand Owyang's point. There are lots more types of new software coming at us that we have to learn. But we have to put a stake in the ground with the ones we have, and realize why they are important. If you choose two social media to be on: Facebook and Twitter would be the ones right now. And you should be checking both every day.

And, if you also want to visit my blog or listen to my podcasts and give me money: hey, that's OK too! ;-)

Who Should Be Benched at Dancing With the Stars

The long nightmare is finally over. No, the Dancing With the Stars (DWTS) finale is next week, and we'll see who finally wins the coveted mirror ball trophy from among three deserving contenders (and that, I'm looking forward to).

No, I'm talking about the season-long Charlie Sheen moment of meltdown by Maksim Chmerkovsky on DWTS.

Now, let's recap for a moment, shall we?

DWTS, for the uninitiated is a simple premise: you take (mostly D-level) "celebrities" and other assorted fame-mongers and sports figures, most of whom have never danced before in any way, and somehow make them into dancers (or at least watchable) for ten weeks.

The job of the pro dancer on this show has somewhat evolved and changed. There were moments when the pros had more to do, and were able to be more creative. But really, the MAIN thing that a pro is there for (sorry, Maks) is to coddle said celebrity. Walk them through their tantrums, hold their hands as they shake in fear about this crazy project they've taken on, and most of all—try to keep all the pouty drama behind the scenes.

That's why someone like Anna Trebunskya (and yes, along the way, the pro dancers have themselves become celebrities; and Maks is SURE acting like one)... someone like Anna is perfect. Her dances/choreography is amazing, but she also has a very giving personality, and can walk through this show with any crazy nutcase they throw at her, and appear graceful (this season, she had Carson Kressley, God help her).

And, except for the fact that Carson was one of the worst dancers I've ever seen on the show, they had bravura and flair and were very crowd-pleasing.

Now dancers, especially dancers at the top of their craft, are very diva-like, just like any other art form. They have honed their instrument, they have worked very hard to get to be the machine of dancing they are now. And to have that chiseled artistry thrown together with someone who has two left feet... actually who thought of this crazy show?

Well, that's the deal, and you pretty much go with it.

From the beginning, some pro dancers rose in the ranks. Among the males: Derek Hough, Maksim Chmerkovsky, Mark Ballas were among the standouts not only this season, but in seasons' past. Standouts by the virtue of THEIR dancing, and THEIR choreography. All stunning to watch on stage, while, to varying degrees, their partners could be dreadful.

Maks seems to work best when he's got a sexual vibe going with the woman he's dancing with. Whether or not he and Erin Andrews (a few seasons back) actually had a "thing" going, they SURE seemed like they were, and (for me) that was the best Maks season to watch. When I think of memorable Maks' choreography, that number with Erin in the bed really stands out.

But they did not win.

Last season, Maks had Kirstie Alley. They were amazing fun to watch together. Kirstie was a great dancer (IMHO). She even acknowledged Maks' rampant sexuality (on the show and on Twitter) and they got as close as Maks has ever gotten to the mirror ball trophy: second place. And there was some very public griping by Maks last season about how that win was rigged, and he deserved to win. (Charlie Sheen moment #1, actually.)

But here's the reality: He has NEVER, not once in all these seasons, won the mirror ball trophy that they are striving for.

The trainwreck he had this season was a "soccer star" named Hope Solo. They had no sexual chemistry at all (Maks' failsafe), and very little other chemistry. She also had two left feet. They appeared to be butting heads constantly.

All of this came to a head a couple of weeks ago, when... well, first, let me explain. The judges have to be a bit (what I call) "LA." They can't just come right out and say: "Hope, you suck." Maybe that would be a better show if they did. But they have to think of inventive creative LA ways of saying, "YOU SUCK." So, on this particular week, Len (always the sternest, though fairest, judge) decides to say something about the heel level of Hope's shoes. Much had been made this season about this tomboyish girl not being comfortable with the girlishness of dance. She did seem uncomfortable in the heels they put her in every week.

So this particular week, they were dancing to a song from "Rent," and they put Hope in a sort of boot thing, with a lower heel. And Len was accurate. She did dance better in them. So, trying to make a silk purse from this smelly sow's ear, he said something about her heel height, RATHER Maks than saying, "HOPE, you really suck," which is what he should've said if he was ACTUALLY talking about her dancing.

But Maks decided he'd had enough, and decided to go off on Len right then and there, since Len was commenting on stupid stuff like heels, instead of talking about the dancing (Maks should really be thankful here he didn't). Len says something about being in this business for "fifty years." Maks says: "Maybe you should get out of it then."

That was Charlie Sheen moment number 2. First, let me dissect the gravity of this here. Charlie Sheen, first was on drugs and/or bipolar. Second, he was in an interview situation. Maks was right there, in the MIDDLE OF THE SHOW, on air, dissing Len. That's something you just don't DO in California, in show business, and survive. Make no mistake, he was, in that moment, doing the exact same thing Charlie Sheen did. He was dissing his coworkers ON AIR.

He compounded his heinous mistake further (Charlie Sheen moment number 3) when they were interviewed by Brooke Burke as they were getting their scores. He actually said the words, "It's MY show." Behind Maks as he was saying this, you could see Derek Hough, Derek who's actually WON three mirror ball trophies, and counting, Derek, who's gone further than Maks every season he's been in it, Derek, who actually knows how to work with whatever celebrity is thrown at him and not have public meltdowns... Derek looked horrified at what Maks was saying.

If that show is "anyone's show": it's Derek's.

The next week, damage done, Maks tried to redeem himself by saying that, no, the crew work very hard. He (Maks) doesn't do it alone. Still not apologizing to the judges. Still pissy in his routines with Hope (which, btw, STILL SUCKED). Through a bizarre twist of fate (some team dance nonsense), the week Hope Solo should've gone home ended up being David Arquette instead (so sad!).

So, the week after the crew apology, obviously the judges and Maks had a little sit-down and/or talking to by the higher ups (those whose show it ACTUALLY is). Maks came back chastened (host Tom Bergeron called him "Stepford Maks"). The judges, notably Len, WAY overgraded Hope, giving her nines, for God's sake.

This past week, when we were finally put out of our misery, they gave her eights, and Len said "We were being nice." (They were!)

But here's the real point. The damage has been done.

If I were running Dancing with the Stars, I would damn sure have Maksim Chmerkovsky sit out a season (at least). Put his lovely brother in, in his stead. Let Maks reflect on how damn lucky he is to have a job dancing on national TV. Let him be grateful that there are judges judging him at all. Let him get in touch with the fact that the "celebrities" (D-list though they are) are what people tune in for.

I also noticed that in the week of the blowout, the opening credits had the celebrity named with their pro dancer. It said: "Hope and Maks." "Ricki and Derek." "David and Kym." After Maks' blowout, they changed it. It still had the pros' picture, but not their name anymore. Not your show, Maks. Not any pro dancers' show.

The real blowout reverberations have not yet ended, mark my words. After all, Charlie Sheen got fired for exactly this. Maks is great as a dancer, but boy does he need to regroup.

At least a season.

And while they are replacing people, I sincerely hope they ALSO get rid of the tired and annoying Brooke Burke. She can barely read the teleprompter, she asks stupid questions. All she does is look good. The show would be much better served to have the wonderful and amazing Tom Bergeron with someone who can actually think on their feet, maybe someone who's a dancer, who can ask insightful dance questions, instead of: "What's going to be going through your head next week?" Who the hell knows the answer to that question, lady?

It's really a shame, because DWTS has this amazing set this year. Fabulous lighting, costumes, camerawork, even great pros. But it was really soured by Maks' antics, and Brooke's vapidity. Oh sorry, Brooke Burke CHARVAY. Sigh. Dear God, help us.

Hey, maybe they can get that host from So You Think You Can Dance, who actually got an Emmy nom this year? Ain't no way Brooke Burke would ever get one. But that sure would be a team, huh?

I'm looking forward to the finals next week. Whoever wins, it will be wonderful. If Cheryl Burke wins, that would be amazing that she's winning with Rob Kardashian. If Karina Smirnoff wins, it would be her FIRST mirror ball trophy (and I'm kinda rooting for her for that). But most likely, three-time winner Derek Hough will four-peat (with Ricki Lake). After all, it's really HIS show. Watch next week. You'll see why.

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Survivor 23 (Good vs. Evil) Can you be honest and win Survivor?

As I've written in previous columns, Survivor in years past has been all about lying, cheating, scheming, double crossing others to win. This year, they've turned it on its head by having at least two people (Coach and Russell Hantz's nephew, Brandon) who have vowed to fight this season with integrity, honor and--gasp--honesty.

When I first got sober, I was forced to go from being a pathological liar to living a life free of lies. It was a difficult transition. And I'm sure I was a bit like Brandon has been in the last few episodes: brash, obnoxious, braying his honesty to everyone who'll listen, expecting everyone to conform to his rules.

There is a point to that. You know that honesty trumps everything. You also know that honesty is the only way to live, because all you really have is your own integrity.

But to bring that into the game of Survivor? It's madness.

Madness, yes, but also quite compelling TV. And mind you, the honesty thing isn't easy. Especially if you're somewhat new to it. I think it took me several years to even realize what was a lie, and that I really could live without telling one, in fact was MUCH better off without telling one. I had never conceived of such a thing.

And here is Brandon Hantz, now in our faces on our TV screens, compelling us to contemplate the question. Yes, it's true is it a "game," but isn't it also true that even while playing games we still have our own consciences to deal with? Especially when we are dealing with other people and their feelings? And is it just a microcosm of life that really no one can deal with the "honest guy"? He's so pure, he's so out there, I just love him.

Because thrown into this mix, we also have Coach. Now Coach is determined, this time, to not let his worst self get the better of him. He wants to live through this game with integrity and honor, and so far, he has.

But here's the thing Brandon has yet to realize. You really can only be 100% honest when you are in a place that's safe, with people you trust. There are fine-tunings of the honesty thing that one must really incorporate when dealing with/living with/interacting with others who are not quite so honest. The most important among them being tact.

You can't just go yelling from rooftops (although I did that very thing too): "Look at me! I'm HONEST!!! Isn't it grand?" You really run the risk of alienating others, and/or having them think you're crazy.

So I believe that discretion and tact comes with age. Yes, to answer Coach's question: Withholding IS lying. Yes, it is.

HOWEVER, sometimes, it's necessary.

In the case of Coach, he's the leader of the tribe. He's played Survivor three times now. He sees the big picture in many ways that others don't. And the way I see it, he's like Brandon's dad on this island: saving him from hurting himself, even though Brandon himself might not see it that way right now (cause he's too close).

In this last episode, Coach made it clear that he has the immunity idol, and the two people whom he wants to know about it, do. One of those is not Brandon. Brandon has the habit of spouting off EVERYTHING that's on his mind, and one thing even beginning Survivor watchers know is that you hold back some things, and play your cards when it's to your advantage. That's really all you have: the element of surprise.

Will/would Brandon be pissed to know that he looked all over the island for the idol, when it rested safely with Coach? Yes. Will he be mad that Coach wasn't honest with him? Yes. Will he have gotten MUCH farther in the game (not only he, but Coach and other members of their alliance) because Coach said nothing? YES. That's the key point.

When you are playing a game, or steering a ship, or running a corporation, you have to let someone else drive. Whoever is the leader/in charge, takes the responsibility for those under him/her and makes decisions accordingly, piecing out the information as necessary. BECAUSE he/she sees the big picture.

And hopefully, those worker bees under him/her trust enough to know they're being taken care of. And Coach IS taking care of Brandon, whether he realizes it or not. One of those, yes, I know you just learned how to shoot, but trust me, put the gun down, kind of situations.

So, it's a tough call, but I honestly believe that both Brandon and Coach are living their truth. Both of them are living honorably. One is withholding, but it's for the good of the tribe.

It's really going to be interesting once it gets down to Coach vs. Brandon at some point. How long can Coach live with integrity? I'm quite sure that both Coach and Brandon will make it at least to the merge (when they are down to 10).

And then, they have evil to deal with on the other side (in the form of Jim, who's an underhanded, low-dealing, backstabbing liar). I'm also quite sure he'll be there when they get theere. Should be very interesting.

I put my money on Coach. To win it.

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Some Thoughts on the TV Season So Far (New Shows)

We're only midway through the rollout of the new TV season, and I have some comments and thoughts on the shows I've seen so far.

1. And the first to be cancelled is...

I would've laid money on the fact that it would be "The Playboy Club." Hef has always been delusional about how much of a cultural touchstone those Playmates are. And really, if you can't show their boobs, who's going to watch. This might've worked as a cable show. On broadcast TV, where people go apoplectic if you see an errant nipple, forget about it. So they tried to throw in some kind of murder mystery nonsense (at least from the previews, I couldn't stomach actually watching it)... and you know we don't have enough of THAT kind of stuff on TV... so CANCEL. No surprise.

2. More on the exploitation of women front

Another show, which, frankly, only succeeded in the 70s because it was all about jiggly T&A was sadly lacking the T&A in this version (Charlie's Angels). I would take the acting to task (it was dreadful), but then, the acting in the earlier version was no Meryl Streep either. (Sorry, Kate Jackson.) But truly, this show should be some fluff, if done right. People watch this for mindless entertainment that looks pretty. Is that so hard to create? Apparently so. One overall theme I noticed this season (and usually I only watch really good shows, so maybe it's always like this) was really bad tech stuff. On Charlie's Angels, we had some dreadful camera/editing choices.

All those girls had to do (other than shake their booties in cute costumes, which they didn't do) was pretty much say a line and hit their marks. They couldn't even do that. Now, Minka Kelly, who's been around on a series or two (the wondrous Friday Night Lights and Parenthood, to name two that she was better in), will be the only one you ever hear from again. The one with the Afro consistently stood in a well-framed shot (you kinda want to get all three Angels in the same shot), blocking at least one of the other two. Very frustrating. I don't remember ever seeing such bad camera work on a TV show in primetime.

3. Odd directorial choices

But then we have the odd directorial choices. An intriguing premise, Unforgettable, is based on a woman who is unable to forget. However, unlike the actual women who have this affliction, who recall everything at a moment's notice, this woman goes back into a crime scene to find details that she forgot. But the way they do it is that Woman 1 is sitting there looking at herself (Woman 2) as she does whatever it is she does. A real step backward for technology and innovative direction. I saw only part of one show, and that nonsense made me cross Unforgettable off my list.

4. More 60s female eye candy

The other show which delved back into the 60s era for its female objectification that worked (full-season pickup) was Pan Am. Some mini viewings have shown it to be basically a soap opera in fancy locales, but then, the whole 60s Pan Am stewardess thing was a juicy one, and it sounds like they're doing it right. I might catch this one out more later.

5. Real women make gains

There were some surprise breakout hits of this season so far. The biggest: Zooey Deschanel's New Girl. People love her. (Haven't watched it yet myself.) But one that is also a big hit that shot up my TiVo queue was 2 Broke Girls. Kat Dennings is the breakaway star, IMHO, although Beth Behrs makes a thankless rich girl role believable and heartwarming. Very well-written, a fun show, I highly recommend checking it out.

The other show from female comic Whitney Cummings is "Whitney" (gee, wonder where they got that title?). It's a bit too much Whitney for me. Although the guy who plays her boyfriend is really smoking hot sexy. So that makes it watchable. But why he'd put up with such a crazy whiny obnoxious too-skinny girl like her really escapes me. Her friends are marginally funny, but every episode revolves around Whitney, and that's already old after two episodes of viewing.

6. We shoulda kept Medium or Ghost Whisperer...

Guess CBS's got to have a "let's talk to dead people" show, and I do hate to diss a show that Susannah Grant is involved in... but... Well, here are the good things: Jennifer Ehle is a luminous ghost. Emmy winner Margo Martindale is in it. Tony winner Patrick Wilson is in it. Still, it's one of those rich and successful surgeon finds his heart in the ghetto through his dead wife dramas. Just don't know if I can stomach it, frankly. Oh, and back to the Item number 3, the sound guys should be fired. There were two really key moments in the pilot where the sound was so muffled that I had to rewind it three times to hear what the heck they were saying. ONE of those times was in the "Oh, btw, she's dead" line that pretty much sets up the entire series. Really really really bad.

7. Good things

One show that I wish I'd been able to view (it's on my TiVo), that apparently is doing things right is Person of Interest. Interesting premise, great actors, great production team and high-tech effects. I can't wait to catch up with this one. You should too.

I'm really grooving on (as I've written elsewhere) both Survivor (Good vs. Evil season) and Dancing with the Stars (I'm rooting for David Arquette, although Ricki Lake is quite inspiring too).

Homeland rocks my socks in previews (also sitting on my TiVo). Can't wait to delve into this one.

American Horror Story looks intriguing (plus, Connie Britton!), but sounds really scary. Not sure about this one.

8. Coming Up

It's the battle of the fairy tales: Grimm (featuring ex-Buffy the Vampire Slayer production people) vs. Once Upon a Time (featuring Ginnifer Goodwin and Lana Parilla, and Robert Carlyle). Both could be good. I'm looking forward to both.

What are some of your favorite so far?

TarFest 2011 Just Needs a Little Shovel Magic

Hot on the heels of his recent LobsterFest triumph, we have another music fest which benefitted from the Mr. Shovel magic. Last year, Mr. Shovel curated the music fest entirely. This year, he was just brought in to fine tune, and add some touches. Those touches polished this festival of music and art in the LaBrea Tar Pits for a magical Sunday afternoon in the park.

Sadly, I missed some of the early bands (Ash Panda and Infantree). But I got there early enough to hear the soulful stirrings of A House for Lions. Really poignant lyrics. An excellent lead-in to the band of the afternoon (Everest). A Check One Two favorite, Obi Best, lent her girlish softness to a beautiful afternoon.

All around, there were food trucks and painting happening. Children ran with hula hoops (and some adults too). Some kids blew bubbles. It was fun. A marvel of creativity and art.

The draw indeed seemed to be local favorite Everest, with crowds packing the small area for their set.

(Although Everest is also a Check One Two fav, this time, the festival had already booked them.) But Shovel's magic lies in polishing what diamond is already there. Obi Best and A House for Lions were perfect lead-ins to Everest. And the perfect close out?

As Shovel knew, to follow a band with a following, you have to get another band with a following. And there are those in this town who LOVE their Saint Motel. Right after Everest finished, people started lining the stage to see Saint Motel. (Mostly girls, cause Saint Motel is, after all, filled with cute guys...) 

Somewhere midway through, I started speaking, as I am wont to do, to friends and acquaintances about what radio they are listening to now. It's still hard for me, after all this time, to watch a group of local bands and NOT think of our beloved Indie 103.1. Especially since we were so close to it, watching this concert. The usual answers came up: KEXP, KCRW. I heard a new one: WFMU (East Coast). Some people still listen to Pandora, or Last.fm. I'm sure once next week's Facebook changes come about the answer will also be Spotify more than it is now.

The unspoken answer is: we still miss Indie 103.1 terribly. And nothing has really replaced it since it left our terrestrial airwaves. There isn't a concert that goes by that I don't miss the Shovel magic. There isn't a show on the air (terrestrial or otherwise) that doesn't benefit from more Shovel (Have you listened to the dreadful Jonesy's Jukebox, now that Shovel isn't there? I rest my case.). Sure Indie 103.1 dot com still exists, and "content director" Tedd Roman was spotted in the crowd, Mayor of the Beer Tent, but Indie's magic left when Shovel did. Everyone who used to listen (and doesn't now) knows that.

So I was shocked when I wandered over to the merch tent to pick up some band CDs and saw this bumper sticker amongst the items:

I gasped, and said, "Indie 103?" (Mostly because I was shocked that someone had the balls to use the old logo (albeit badly... I mean, really? a 45? where's the hole?). The green kid looked at me and said brightly, "It's a great radio station, you should listen." There we are in the shadow of the House that Shovel Built, its absence palpable, so much that I still think about it every day and miss it. Thinking about how I've stood at hundreds of merch tables, just like this, one of its proudest fans, so glad to be a part of it. Scooping up every available piece of Indie gear to show my allegiance. But rather than let the tears well up in my eyes just then, I just stare at him glazedly, and say: "Really? I'll have to check it out."

Two of the most brilliant musical minds in Los Angeles, (l-r) our own Mr. Shovel and Watusi Rodeo's Chris Morris, enjoying TarFest. You can thankfully still hear Chris' radio show on the Scion Network here.  You can catch Mr. Shovel's magic at Mr. Shovel  or at some curated concerts around town.

LobsterFest 2011: Mr. Shovel does it again!

There are those in this town who think they can throw together a few songs and call it radio. There are also those who think they can throw together a few bands and call it a music festival. Our beloved Mr. Shovel proved once again this weekend why he is the only king to this throne. No, king is probably the wrong word. Kingmaker, perhaps. And for those wondering who are going to be the hot new bands this year, please write down the names of the acts that Mr. Shovel booked on this year's LobsterFest bill. As last year's (back when no one knew who they were) Fitz & the Tantrums can tell you.

Ostensibly, this is a "KROQ" festival, as the glaringly inappropriate and ugly radio station backdrop will scream at you. The backdrop truly mars the magic going on up on stage, most of the time, and the festival would be smarter and better served to just have a plain backdrop, or one promoting the LobsterFestival, which has now, thanks to former Indie 103.1 music director Mr. Shovel (and NOT KROQ) become a must-see music festival of note.

Let me clue you in to what exactly is "KROQ" about this festival: the very first act, "Lucid Dream Factory" who were "winners of the Cabo Wabo Your Shot to Rock contest" (which was supposed to be two bands, but ended up being only one for some reason).

Berlin, perhaps the only band which KROQ might play, closed out the festival. I loathe and despise this band who, after all, only has one hit (some would say "five"). Luckily for me, I had Emmy obligations   (MicheBelz Hollywood) and couldn't stay for Berlin, but they are crowd-pleasers, and I can vouch for the fact that I think they had record (as in all areas filled with people) crowds, very likely most there to see Berlin for free.

So every band who took this stage over the three-day long festival (except the Cabo Wabo contest one), owes its credit for being there to Mr. Shovel, and should thank him profusely for their appearance, if they have any doubt as to who put them there. It wasn't KROQ.

KROQ is like the neighbor that you hear arguing loudly with their wife at 3 am. Mr. Shovel (whose artistry you can find at Mr. Shovel) is like the lover, whispering magic into your ear. Now which one do YOU want to listen to?

Let me clue you in further to the workings of Shovel's magic. The reason that radio station Indie 103.1 became so beloved by so many was that Mr. Shovel carefully wove together the music to create an aural pastiche of music that was orgasmic to one's ears. The same is true of his music festivals and events that he curates.

One of the hallmarks of his craft on the radio was the way the songs so seamlessly flowed, one into the next, appearing there logically and perfectly. The words and the music combined to flow, like the pages of a book you can't stop reading, a logical progression, but each getting better and better and better (you can hear the opposite of this by listening to whomever is programming Indie 103.1 dot com now as the music grinds, jarringly, one bad song into another totally unconnected one).

So, too, is the progression of his music festivals. Each band, carefully pulled from the ranks of mostly local bands (even local to the Long Beach area, because Mr. Shovel is good that way) flows seamlessly into the next one. Someday, I truly hope that obligations of job and real life don't keep getting in the way, because how this festival is meant to be seen is from the opening act to the closing one, like that book that starts on page 1.

Shovel's magic started Friday night, truly opening with local band, White Arrows, flowing into (Long Beach locals) The Fling, closing out with Australia's Andy Clockwise. Just in those three, you see a taste, an appetizer, if you would, of the treats waiting for you the next two days. Awesome and different local act White Arrows, country tinged Long Beach locals The Fling, and showman and creative force Andy Clockwise. Those themes would be repeated all weekend.

The Damselles & TC4 kicked off the event on Saturday. This flowed into a repeat act from last year, Judson McKinney (watch this one!), who last year performed as "Judson & Mary." We are going to be hearing more about him.

Super sexy Valley girls who dig the misspellings, Deap Vally, performed next. By this point in the day's musical smorgasbord, the Shovel workings become clear. Local favs Light FM step to the stage. Followed by more local favs, Eastern Conference Champions. Followed by one of LA's best bands around, Shadow Shadow Shade. Shadow Shadow Shade took the stage right at dusk. They performed in daylight, the next band was in shadows and shade. It's those little Shovel touches you notice.

All of these bands (Light FM, Eastern Conference Champions, Shadow Shadow Shade) are bands you DO want to check out if you see them performing around town. You will not be disappointed. What they share is a compelling stage presence, as well as a mastery of their music. Shadow Shadow Shade, for example, has a woman singer who formerly sang opera. They weave their craft in front of you, and leave you going, "WOW."

But the night is just beginning.

Another local fave, He's My Brother, She's My Sister, steps up. I'd always heard good things about them, but never seen them before. Their performance proved why they are also a band worth checking out. Colorful (literally and figuratively, did you see that GREEN stand-up bass?) and inventive, they really rocked it.

But just when you think this festival is all about local, indie (or Indie) type bands, Shovel's magic once again shows itself. What came next is what I call the Section Quartet moment. I remember looking at last year's schedule incredulously. The Section Quartet? Classical? What are they doing here? I should know by now not to doubt Mr. Shovel's skill.

This moment happened with this year's The Taiko Project. I really wasn't aware that the whole "taiko" music has become a thing. Or that we have one of its best artisans right here in Los Angeles. Guess that's what Shovel is here for, to educate us to what is right here under our very noses. (The Section Quartet, too, is an LA band that doesn't get nearly enough play.)

So let me set the scene for you. All day long, people have been milling about, having fun on the wonderfully expanded lawn area, playing with their kids, eating their lobster or whatever, chatting amongst friends, dancing, if the spirit moved them. (LobsterFest is, for my money, one of the best venues for packing people in to see lots of bands. There is room to move, there is great food available, and the bands are fantastic. What is not to love? Well, except for that hideous radio station backdrop...) Anyway...

It's now evening and we are about to see this band called The Taiko Project. I honestly don't even know if I can do justice to describing what happened next. Everyone started filling in the seats that had been spotty with guests all day (most people preferred to sit on the lawn to listen). Everyone seemed to want to get close to hear this next band. And by everyone, I am describing what really became the mix of Shovel's audience at Indie 103.1 too: indie hipsters, people who had just stopped by for the lobster and heard music, music aficionados who knew this was going to be something, goth girls, proficient jazz artists and rock musicians who knew something special was at hand, and lots of every day folk.

They start bringing out the drums. The taiko drums, all of unique shapes and sizes. So many people on stage in costume. And they start waving their sticks and banging on their drums with magical movements and precision and your breath disappears. They move, fluidly, like dancers, going from one drum to the next, so it becomes a visual and aural feast. The audience has become silent, rapt with awe. They have not been silent all day. (They were similarly silent for The Section Quartet.)

This is really what I want to say, that was coursing through my mind as I was watching. That although The Taiko Project's music was quite uniquely their own, the fact that they were on that stage, at that point in the program, was quite uniquely a Shovel creation. He has always been about introducing people to sounds they'd never heard before, and wouldn't soon forget. (He would demur if you asked him about it, modest and humble that he is, and say that, "No, it's the bands who create this magic." I disagree. It was in this moment that it really crystallized that it was Shovel painting this aural pallette for us. In fact, the moment was so profound that, for me, that ugly radio station backdrop disappeared during Taiko, and it was just a movement of music and sound and art being created.)

I have never heard music like The Taiko Project created. It was rather like the show "Stomp," if you've seen it, performed with actual drums instead of found objects. And more fluid movement. Movement between the performers like dance, like poetry. Beautiful, stunningly beautiful.

They literally took my breath away. There was a half-hour break before the next band. I needed every moment of that to recover from Taiko. (They recommended that people go watch a fire show nearby. Most complied.)

AND THEN! Then we had the rollicking, also all-over-the-stage band Vaud & the Villains. I remember scoffing at that name when I first saw it. Sounded silly. Boy have I learned not to doubt the Shovel after this festival. Vaud & the Villains, true musical artists. Dancers. Singers. New Orleans storytellers. How to even describe them? Let's see. The LobsterFest program says this: "19-piece 1930s New Orleans orchestra... washboards, horns, dancing girls that sing." That skims the surface of what was presented.

It was rollicking and fun and great music.

My friend who was watching with me noted, "it's been a long time since I've seen such great music at a festival." MUSIC, if anyone had any doubt, is what drove Indie 103.1 and drives the LobsterFest every year. Music that you can tap your foot to, music that stirs your nether regions, music that you leave humming. Music that makes you feel like a better person, music that makes you want to create. All of the joys music brings to one's soul is what Mr. Shovel brought to Indie 103.1 so notably, and brings to every festival and event he curates.

And we still had another DAY of it. How joyous!

Another return act from last year's festival, Devon Eisenbarger kicked off Sunday's event. Followed by Dante Vs. Zombies, "perhaps the most original band of the weekend." REALLY? Wow. Cause we've sure seen some "original" stuff. Local band The Little Ones rocked the house next. Lady Dottie and the Diamonds took no prisoners with her "boogie-woogie blues." Wow, amazing. And then, that one-hit-wonder band that everyone was clamouring in to see. I left before they started. I had Emmys to watch.

But I am left, at the end of this LobsterFest, as at the end of last year's, stunned and amazed at the bands I have watched over the days. Terribly sad that for some reason the merch table didn't seem to be active. Bands? Bring your CDs, even if you released them a year or more ago. I'm sure you would've had sales!

Joyous, reliving the memories of the bands I'd seen; old favorites, new ones created.

But mostly, I want to give a deep respectful bow to our own Mr. Shovel. For those who underestimate what it is exactly you do, and think that just anyone can recreate it, they are sadly mistaken, and LobsterFest is proof of that. This man knows music. He knows how to seamlessly package a show that is crowd-pleasing and horizon-broadening. His skill will please both the yokels with lobsters on their heads, and the uppity music snobs who aren't phased by anything. And that is no small feat.

A deep bow to you, Mr. Shovel. Thank you sincerely for this LobsterFest.

Now if we could only get these LA folks to DANCE...

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Join the Party on Twitter

I've written some columns about Twitter, but I've been thinking about it a lot lately, and wanted to approach it from a different angle. Most people, if they're going to get on Twitter, probably already are; and if they aren't, they still hate it and people who talk about it just as much.

This isn't for those people. It's for the ones who have joined Twitter but are still staring at a blank screen, not knowing how this "Twitter thing" works. Not getting what all the big deal is about, not sure where or how to jump in. And sure, the new Twitter sends you helpful little "Who to Follow" prompts, but how do you know who to follow? How many are too much? Or too little? And really, most of all, what is the damn point of all this?

I've been thinking a lot about all this, and a new idea hit me. It's a party. (You can cringe if you want to.)

The single most important thing, now that you've finally broken down and signed up to this dreadful thing (as if anyone needs another social media site, harumph!), is who you know. Or, more concisely: Who You Follow. (The second most important thing is Who Follows You, but you can't control that.)

So, as I've documented elsewhere, when I first joined Twitter, I was adding people like mad (rather like I did on MySpace and Facebook). If I had it all to do over again, I wouldn't do it that way.

Here's what you need to know: Twitter is about interaction. Passive watchers might as well not even join. Because everyone, even the shyest wallflower, has something to say about something.

Keeping those things in mind, try this strategy on for size.

1. DON'T, I REPEAT, DON'T go mad adding celebrities. In fact, if you're a Twitter newbie, I would suggest that you refrain from adding ANY celebrities or really famous people until you've been on Twitter at least six months and have regular people you know and chat with. Why? By and large, those with millions of followers won't be chatting back with you. Actually, those with millions probably won't even be reading you. And, if you are only going to add ten people, make those ten count. NO CELEBRITIES. Make each of those ten people who will interact with you, will Follow Friday you (the only celebrities that I've seen Follow Fridaying anyone are other celebrities), will thank you for your comments and RTs. Generally someone who values your commentary, and treats you with respect. Do I have to tell you that that ISN'T a celebrity? Nope. Not even Oprah. Seriously.

Really think about what you want to get out of Twitter. Here's what you can get: knowledge, news, sports fans who share your passions, fans of any subject who share your passions, and if you're really lucky, and choose well, people who can really help you make it through your day.

So, I'd like you to think of this as a great party that you're designing. You are the host/hostess, and you get to pick the guest list. (Again, refrain from inviting celebrities, because they will dimish YOUR sparkle.) Who else would you want attending?

When your mind comes up blank, try this instead. Go to someone whom you think would make a great party guest that you know is on Twitter. Start by examining their follower list. Or their following list. Cull from there. Keep in mind that the BEST person to add to your Twitter list is someone who's following/follower totals are roughly equal. Say, 1500 following to 1750 followers. That would be ideal. It shows someone who's engaged, who actively participates in their Twitter stream, in essence, someone who'd make a great party guest, and not monopolize the conversation.

Conversely, if someone is following NO ONE, avoid them like the plague, no matter who they are. They clearly don't get it.

2. Pick interesting people. I highly suggest that before you add someone, click on their profile first. Check out some of their comments. Look at a full page's worth. If ANY of the comments annoy you, or make you roll your eyes, go to the next person. Life's too short. Also, if what you are looking at is either: all RTs, no original commentary; or all links, move on. You want someone, ideally, who mixes it up. Who RTs people, but also comments. Who posts interesting links, but also engages with you. (I also do this in reverse. If I see someone's comments in my feed now that annoy me, I'll go back to their profile before I unfollow them, just to be sure. They may just be having a bad day.)

3. Find subjects that interest you. You want people who stimulate your mind. Find people who share your interests. For example, I like music, and subscribe to the Blip.fm service, which posts songs I'm listening to to my Twitter feed. Some people really hate that. Other music lovers have RTed the songs I've picked. People who like the same music I do tend to stick around. Whatever it is you are interested in, there are people who like that same thing and talk about it. Try searching for that subject, and adding people that you find that are interesting.

4. Find people who inspire you. There are plenty of them on Twitter, I assure you. Some people like those who post inspirational sayings. Others get bored silly by such stuff. Whatever your own spiritual touchstone is, make sure you add some people who reflect that. Who make your heart swoon at their comments. You should have a good chunk of these kind of people in your Twitter stream.

5. Find worldwide folks. I like Twitter for its coverage of news. But to find this, I didn't start adding TV or radio news folks (although you could do that, too). I made sure I had people on my Twitter stream from different countries, some speaking different languages. I don't want to just know what's going on in America (though maybe you do). But having a diverse spectrum across the world will also ensure that whatever time you are on Twitter, there is going to be something coming across your screen. I assure you. My Facebook often dies, once the people in my geographic area go to sleep. This is never true of Twitter. It's 24/7.

6. Job searching? Add headhunters. I have heard about more jobs on Twitter than any other social media service, which is enough reason to sign up for it, if you're not already on it, IMHO. But to do that, I had to add people in various fields that I work in who might be responsible for adding jobs. If you're an actor, there are plenty of casting agents on it. There are all kinds of headhunters, and job services as well. Search for them. Add them.

7. Drop in some romantic sparkle. What would a good party be without some sexy members of whatever sex you're attracted to? Make sure that you add some sexiness, to whatever level you feel comfortable with. I personally have three Twitter accounts, to varying levels of sexiness. The last thing I want when I'm in a business situation is to have someone sending over pics of their naked body at me. So I don't have that at all on my business Twitter. But on my personal one? heh That a whole other story.

8. Minimize or avoid the companies that advertise at you. Yes, I know, many companies out there will cringe at that one. They see Twitter as the next new gold rush area, and are just looking for a way in. My personal rule with all that is that anyone that markets at me is Unfollowed. Period. I don't have anyone (of the 2000 people I'm following) that is a company or a marketer. My life is blissful. Plus, Twitter isn't FOR that. It's for people to talk to each other. To interact, as I said earlier. Advertising/marketing people still haven't figured that out.

Again, think of it like a party. If you were at a great party, deep in the middle of a fascinating conversation, would you want someone spewing about their latest product at you? No. It would spoil the vibe, wouldn't it? Twitter should be, and is, like that, too.

9. DO talk about politics and religion. Everywhere else, these items are avoided like the plague. But on Twitter, I have found the most educated, enlightened, actively seeking minds I've found anywhere. I feel blessed to have them in my Twitter stream. Mind you, I only have the folks who espouse the same things I believe in. One woman started getting on my case about my sexuality, espousing her "Christian" values at me, and I can't tell you how quickly I blocked her. The block button is bliss. Use it often.

The other great advantage about this is that you'll hear when things happen. I heard about the strife in various Mideast countries on Twitter WAY before mainstream media even covered it. So maybe it's a party with giant screens all around the room with current news flashes suddenly on the Jumbotron. If there's an earthquake, you'll hear about it on Twitter (as everyone on the East Coast now knows).

10. Don't be bored. If, once you've added your successful party guest roster, you find you are still bored with people's comments, add more people. Maybe, at this point, add a celeb or two (judiciously). For me, there isn't a day that I'm on Twitter that I don't get a new piece of information, a new way to look at things, and some uplifting inspiration from my Twitter stream. That's how yours should be, too.

Have at least 100 people that you are following. A good conversation is the sign of a really good party.

Add me: @michebella on Twitter.

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Lounging with the High-Tech Hoboes

Like most people, living through this recession has been a challenge. Finding yourself in places and circumstances you never expected because the cash flow you had counted on suddenly stops (for whatever reason).

For me, my life on the streets (or as close as I want to get to it) began a few months ago (and has, oh so thankfully ended--at least for now, anyway. Who knows what tomorrow holds?).

I'm a tech baby. My hands have been attached to a keyboard for decades now. The cell phone/smart phone got added somewhere in there, and eyes are often glued to some cable program or another. That's how I lived. I couldn't imagine life without these creature comforts.

Living without them helped me to realize just how much I need them, and why.

So walk with me, for a minute, won't you? Down into my path of hell?

Mind you, I know there are many who have it worse, much worse. People who, for whatever reason (and yes, their numbers do seem to be increasing of late) find it completely ok to sleep right there on the street. In church doorways, or near highway overpasses. Whereever there is a quiet place to lie their head.

It's a strange sight, seeing someone in a doorway, with a cardboard box covering their heads. Guess it's to keep the morning light out. Still not sure about that one.

But these guys (not too many homeless women, I've noted), at least not lying in doorways, anyway... these guys people have been aware of for decades, since a few recessions ago, at least.

What I've noticed on my new journey into poverty is the step up from that, the high-tech hobo.

So let me take you back a bit in my life (a few months ago). As I said, in my normal life, I am constantly online. I write, I blog, I have a podcast, I'm a regular (as in daily) Twitter poster. Online is pretty much where I live. So, to me, to be suddenly without online access was as close as I want to get to being homeless.

But, I still had my laptop and my phone, and I knew there was wifi to be had. I just had to find it. War-driving, isn't it? I was gonna go out and find some.

First, the easy ones. All these coffee shops and cafes offering "Free Wi-Fi." One close to my house. Thought I was home free. Sadly, these places don't much take to someone camping out and using said Free Wifi for hours at a time and only purchasing a coffee. Or at least the one near me didn't. After a few weeks of regular use, they cut me off. Couldn't access the Net anymore at all. Sad.

So, I sought out other avenues. Libraries! They have wifi. Sadly, they also have very minimal hours. In the time that I was doing this, they were closed on both Sunday and Monday! Two whole days with NO access? My God, how inhuman.

Plus, I'm very much a night person. I get most of my best work done in the wee hours of the morning. Libraries were just closing shop when I was getting going (the latest one open until 8 pm). So, they were kind of out, too.

But there are some places that are open 24 hours and have wifi. I won't tell you the places I found, to protect the innocent, but there are places to be had. And this is what you'll see there. If you go to 24-hour places all around the city of Los Angeles, you'll find men with laptops. At first (like around 9 pm), they are indeed, pounding keys, and looking like they are doing something.

By midnight and onward, you will find them asleep at their laptops all over town. I call them the high-tech hoboes. Don't know for sure that they're homeless, but they definitely have no Internet access.

I started frequenting one particular place. I am thankful that it was available to me during my times of difficulty. In theory, I should've been paying for the priviledge. I am grateful to the kind-hearted staff who let these people just be overnight. But I, like the ten or so others who frequented it (and I mean every night), were just surfing the wifi because it was there. Some folks brought snacks. Some folks watched videos or movies. Some actually worked.

One who particularly intrigued me was a preacher. He was always attired in suit and tie, like he had somewhere important to go. Guess in LA, it's all about what you're wearing.

Early in the evening (between 9 pm and midnight), he would busy himself with religious videos. Someone preaching this or that. Round about 2 or 3 am, when he thought no one was listening, the porn videos would come out. Cracked me up.

The funniest thing about the preacher was that he would often chat up other black folks who happened in there. His theory was that the white folks are planning to "round up the blacks and put them in concentration camps." That he was going to hightail it to South Africa before that happened. Meanwhile, of course, he's spending his nights in this same place, watching his videos. Very strange.

I didn't mention to him, hey, this is a largely white establishment here, and they are kind enough to let you sleep in here, you should really be grateful to them, not dissing them like that. But I didn't. Just let him babble on. Once he got to the part about the aliens, I sorta checked out.

Some parts of me wished I had turned to him, white girl that I am, and said, Hey brotha, it's not about white-black anymore, not even white-Hispanics. It's all about RICH and poor. Haven't you noticed that? It's the rich who are oppressing us. And better to stay here and fight than run away, don't you think? But I kept my silence.

Lotsa people who came in there, and there would often be new ones, acted like they owned the place. Guess entitlement runs hard in LA.

It was a very strange thing to me, hanging out in this place.  But I did come to realize that anywhere you go at 3 am in this town, if it has wifi, you're going to find at least one person there with a laptop, and asleep. This is our new reality.

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