No, theme last week? Oh, we’ll fix that. We’ll give you a theme. Here you go: MOVIE NIGHT!
They filmed an opening trailer, going into the Fine Arts theater. Credits roll, they show each star, finally, “and starring SEAN SPICER as SEAN SPICER.” (Which made me laugh.)
Then, finally, we have an opening number again! Even using some of the stars! To the tune of “Fame!” (Of course) All of the male pros have this sexy white tux on, and the women have a longer jacket white tux as well. Very classy. And our new pro Daniella, who isn’t a pro, just a glorified member of the troupe, becomes the star of this movie within a movie, for the Busby Berkley overhead shots.
Then, the rest of the cast, in their outfits for the show, come on. So, they are using a troupe of dancers (but not “the troupe,” including someone with red hair who kinda looks like Sharna, but isn’t Sharna :-( *sigh*) Tom Bergeron informs us that that number was choreographed by “two-time Emmy Award-winning choreographer Catherine Burns.” (Sorry, I prefer Mandy Moore... *sigh*)
I can’t put my finger on exactly why, but it seemed sloppier than a Mandy Moore-choreographed opening number. I think the lines weren’t strict enough. Especially for those overhead shots, you have to be strictly in line, or it throws off the visual... Ah well...
Last week, our conservative country singer Lauren Alaina was all stressing out because Gleb ripped her skirt off (very tastefully). This week, she’s a hooker with her boot on a car. OK...
Their package (lame, so lame) has them trotting over to a theatre (supposedly) to see Pretty Woman, but they just show stills of Julia Roberts and Richard Gere, as Lauren comments about how much she loved her in the ’90s. Then Carrie Ann pops in to explain what the nuances of tango are, with an assist from Len. Daniella and Keo are once again acting it out for us. God, this package is nauseating...
FINALLY, the dance.
That car is awesome! Gleb does have the handsome guy thing down, though, as Lauren said, “You should be so lucky to be Richard Gere.” The choreography doesn’t match the words. (I hate that.)
Ah, well.
Really awkward. They seemed to be getting in each other’s way more than dancing. Blech.
Lauren tells Tom that she told her dad “not to watch tonight.”
Under Len’s name, it says: “Professional Ballroom Judge.” hahahahaha (No Twitter handle.)
Len is “a little bit disappointed. You had to take that fabulous uniform off, with the hat. That’s what’s disappointed me.” (HUH?) “This was full of attack, drive and purpose. A little bit stop and start, here and there. But the tango you did, I thought was excellent.”
Bruno’s title says: Film, Music Video and Theatre Choreographer. (Did they have these titles last week?) And his Twitter handle, @ brunotonioliofficial
Bruno: “Lauren, listen to me, you racy little thing. That was a racy tango, full throttle. Some of the lines were very, very good.”
Len is backing away from Bruno, as he gets animated. As he gets too close to Carrie Ann, she hugs him from behind, and he pulls back toward Bruno. Quite funny.
Carrie Ann’s title: Choreographer & Dance Producer, with @ carrieanninaba
Carrie Ann: “I love the confidence. You still need to work on the musicality. I’m loving your confidence, I want you to keep bringing that back out here.”
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| Courtesy of David Livingston, Getty Images. |
Last week, Carrie Ann had this fantabulous off-the-shoulder dress with these amazing earrings. It appears that this week, Erin Andrews is copying her, with the exact same earrings. Stunning, both weeks.
So, of course, Erin picks up on the question that Tom posed earlier: “Why did you not want your dad to watch?” Lauren: “I’m the Christian country girl, and then I had to put my foot up on the hood of a car, and rub down my leg. I did not want my daddy to see that.” LOL Oh my.
Lauren and Gleb, tango
JUDGES: 20 (out of 30)
Erin: “Well, I hope your dad is watching! Good job, babe.” (as she hugs Lauren)
Tom: “You are cagey, Len.” (No one expected him to score that higher than Carrie Ann did.)
The previews tell us that Ray Lewis is now “out of the competition.” Wow.
So, you might have to look closely to see this, but this is the episode where you can see Jonathan Scott (Property Brother) squiring his new flame Zooey Deschanel in the front row, with a dude who looks like, but isn’t, Seth Rogan by their side. (Both behind Tom as he’s speaking to Erin.)
Apparently, in Hannah and Alan’s package, Hannah explains that she is currently her best friend’s maid of honor, and so they are dancing a rumba to a song from Bridesmaids. So she goes off to do the bachelorette party thing, and Alan bursts into the party as a cop. A stripping cop. And starts dancing. And... SCENE.
Godawful music (“Hold On” by Wilson Phillips). Personally, I wasn’t impressed with this rumba at all, although they both look very nice. The setup is a bridal party, where everyone is lamely "dancing" (actually just swaying) on the stairs (including the new bride and groom), while Hannah and Alan steal the entire dance floor for their number. Ugh. Hated that.
Tom to Alan: “Had we known you were going to be crashing their party, we coulda lent you some spray tanner. We could white balance the camera on your chest.” (LOL God, I love Tom Bergeron.)
Bruno: “Well, Anna, no need for a weddding planner. Blah blah blah... You are a wonderful lyrical dancer. This being a rumba, you have to use the floor more. It lacked a little bit of Cuban motion. Pretty, but work on that.” Carrie Ann: “I agree. Your lines? Exquisite. But there was no hip action. We need to see you get into the ballroom and Latin stylings. So I wanna see that. I didn’t see any of that. It looked more like a cheerleading dance. (She gets massively booed by the audience for this.) You need to lose the jazz stylings.” Tom: “I think Len got a little Boo envy there.” Len: “You have got beautiful musicality. I really liked some of the lines. You needed a little bit more hip action, and a little bit more movement going on. But you are a lovely dancer.”
And yet, with all these comments, they still give these guys high marks. SMH.
Erin: “Every week, you learn a different dance. If you can take the positive comments and use it, right?” Hannah: “I definitely will work on my hip action.” Erin: “I didn’t know you when you did the other shows you were on, but there’s just something different about you from what I viewed on television. You just seem so happy and having a good time. What’s going on?” Hannah: “I’ve been through a lot on television. My whole life has been exposed to everybody and there’ve been ups and downs, and I think this is also something that has those ups and downs, but this has been something that’s been such a great therapy for me, and I think that’s what people get to see. I get to come out every Monday and shine.” Erin: “I love you like this. I love you hitting the bouquet too.” (She tossed the bride’s bouquet aside at the beginning of her dance.) “That was good.”
Hannah and Alan, rumba
JUDGES: 21 (out of 30)
Have I mentioned yet how totally sick I am of Hannah Brown? If I never see her again on TV after this show, I’ll be VERY happy with that.
Also, please note. If you lie to the audience early in DWTS, it will come back to bite you in the ass...
Tom: “Hey, go pop some corn. There’s a festival of film favorites still to come.” #LOVE
Karamo and Jenna are dancing a jive to “I’m Still Standing” by Elton John (from Rocketman). Which is all good and fine. But then, in the middle of their rehearsal, Karamo casually drops that “I hit up my friend Taron Eggerton (who plays Elton John)...” and he wishes them good luck on FaceTime. Sheesh.
They do a jive that I just love. There was one (poorly choreographed) segment when the troupe (who isn’t a troupe) dancers do their thing RIGHT IN FRONT of the judges, and Len couldn’t see Karamo. He looked very irritated.
(Although it did look great on camera, that whole sequence.)
The audience goes wild after this dance. Oooh, now I can see that both Property Brothers are there.
Carrie Ann: “I kept waiting for Bruno to come out, cause that’s the video that he stars in.” Bruno: “The outfit is still underneath. I still have the same size!” Tom: “That’s OK.” Carrie Ann: “Karamo, that was not the greatest. And I could see it your face. There was a lot of mistakes. But what I love is: you come out here and you entertain us, and you make us feel joy. That is half of what this is about. There was a lot of moments when you were out of sync. And just the toning of your feet. Just wasn’t quite there. But hopefully you don’t go home, cause I wanna see more of you.” Len: “What I liked... you didn’t mess about. You came straight onto the floor, and you started dancing jive. So that was terrific. I liked the mix of steps that you did. I want you to be happy. But going wrong is a bit like getting a hickey. As much as you try to cover it up, it’s there.” (Jenna laughs hysterically at this.) Bruno: “Look at the bright side. You did go off like a rocket. The sparks were flying. But the jive is very very hard. It’s a difficult dance. You have to keep rhythmical. And once you lose the step, it’s difficult to cover up. But you have great potential. Regroup.”
Tom: “And our first hickey analogy in 28 seasons.”
Erin: “I’m gonna pretend I’m part of the Fab Five. Let’s do the Karamo on you now.” Karamo: “I’m going to be positive. I’m going to keep doing good. I’m having so much fun here, and I love this. I’m gonna keep fighting. I love this show. I love dancing.” Erin: “The good news is, Len loved it, and he brought up a hickey in the middle of it. OK.”
Karamo and Jenna, jive
JUDGES: 16 (out of 30)
Tom (to the judges): “And you wonder why they boo you.”
Attention momentarily distracted by seeing Jonathan Scott with his arm around Zooey Deschanel in the audience. What? Guess they’re a couple now. The audience, btw, is packed with people who competed in past seasons.
I start every season rooting for Sasha Farber to win his first Mirror Ball. His partner this time, Ally Brooke, does seem to be improving.
Here she talks about her “favorite movie, Selena,” as they perform a rumba to a song from it. In the package, she takes Sasha down to see her family as they are feasting and talking about Selena’s influence on the Mexican culture.
Then, this beautiful, lyrical rumba. I just love Sasha’s choreography. So many wonderful signature Sasha moves make this dance just stunning.
Len makes Sasha show the world what a “cucaracha” is (there are several in this dance). Len talks about how normally they put fringe or whatever on the costumes, and you can’t truly see the cucaracha performed, but in this outfit, you could really see it. (Thank you, costume department.) “I was really enjoying the performance," he says, as Ally lunges to give him a high-five. (ProTip: Len, not big on the PDA.) “Don’t get overwhelmed,” he says, though he clearly is. Ally runs back to Sasha’s arms. Len: “Don’t touch me again.” (Tom and Sasha are laughing. Len is not. He’s truly not kidding.) YIKES. He continues to name a couple other dance steps that Sasha had in his (wonderful) choreography: “...And that finished me off. Great job!”
So many of these newer choreographers on the show think it’s all about the show, and totally forget why this show even started. Sasha knows. He knows how to pack a dance with content that will appease Len. And, btw, STILL put on a great show.
Bruno: “Ally, my darling, you really put all of your heart and soul into that dance. And we all really felt it. When you combine it with actual, correct, real rumba, with the Cuba motion we were talking about earlier on...linking all the steps, reaching through the lines...” he leans over the desk to shout: “Beautiful!”
Carrie Ann: “You are truly such an emotional dancer. I had chills the whole time. I’m so happy this season is about technique (WAIT, aren’t all the seasons about technique?...) because is exactly what we were looking for! Unapologetically, an amazing rumba with passion. Who’s your ballroom/Latin alter ego that came out just now?” Ally says: “Her name is Alison.”
Ally and Sasha, rumba
JUDGES: 24 (out of 30)
Love Cheryl Burke. Love her. Sadly, her partner had an injury this week, which reignited an old injury, and he had to withdraw from the competition. :-( But in his place, we did have Rashad Jennings (former Mirror Ball winner with Emma Slater) dancing instead.
Ray and Cheryl, cha cha
JUDGES: No Score. :-(
So distracting to see Jonathan Scott and Zooey Deschanel whispering to each other behind Tom... Ahem...
Emma and James, another of my favorite couples of the season, are dancing a rumba to “Shallow.” Their package shows James bonding with his wife, in which he tells her “this dance is for you.” She swoons. Then she says: “Who else would you dedicate it to?” Which makes Emma bust out laughing. “There’s your wife,” she says.
Everything about this number is spectacular. The lights, the costumes, the set, the amazing choreography by Emma. This is how a dance is supposed to be constructed! The lyrics actually mean something and a “fall” is punctuated by a fall in the choreography. It made me swoon. Sadly, it’s not all of “Shallow,” only a segment.
Felicia Barton and Travis Garland did exquisite vocals on this number.
Bruno: “There was nothing shallow about that performance. It’s harder for a man to do the rumba, because you have to complement the lady more than dancing for yourself. And you danced with Emma. You made your partner look fantastic. A real gentleman.”
Carrie Ann: “First of all, beautiful choreography, Emma. That was stunning. So much poetry in the way you move, you juiced out every little ounce of emotion and sensuality and everything that was necesssary in every movement you did. Usually the rumba is the woman’s dance, but I watched both of you equally. It was stunning.”
Len: “You got a little bit wide in your leg action, which impeded your hip action. For me, the rumba is like a developing romance. It was a little bit on the passionate side for me.”
Carrie Ann is incensed. “You were just talking about hickeys!” The judges start fighting amongst themselves. Tom sends James and Emma to “the Star Lounge” and Erin, ”while they decide what they’re talking about.”
Talking to Erin, an emotional James mentions how “it’s been amazing to step in this flow of creativity. It’s my happy place. And just to be around these people, every day.”
Erin: “So gorgeous.”
James and Emma, rumba
JUDGES: 23 (out of 30)
I seriously, deeply, love the combo of Pasha and Kate Flannery. So very much. They do not disappoint. For my money, they are one of the most fun couples in Season 28.
They look back on last week’s scores (all 7s), which Kate says “leaves her speechless,” and Pasha says he knows she’s never speechless. This week, they are dancing a quickstep to the theme from 9 to 5. Kate likes the cast (Parton and Fonda and Tomlin), and notes that “it’s a workplace comedy. I’m familiar with that.” (She being from The Office, of course.)
In the package, Kate talks about how she went on tour with Jane Lynch (is there no end to this woman’s talents????).
Oh, dear God... it actually looks like they have old-school typewriters in this opening. Wow. #TrulyImpressed
I guess the mustache is supposed to make Pasha look evil. At the end, Kate throws down her chains (Pasha). Nice touch.
Spotted in the audience, the married Property Brother and his wife, Nick Viall and Rumer Willis...
Carrie Ann: “Absolutely sychronized. So good. You’re working hard, and it’s paying off.” Len: “I really, really liked it. I liked your choreography. I loved your performance. You got right into character. Great.” Bruno: “Like the movie, this is a big hit.”
Kate and Pasha, quickstep
JUDGES: 24 (out of 30)
Lamar and Peta are shocked that they weren’t sent home last week. This week, they are doing a cha cha to “Risky Business.” (Or, more accurately, to that Bob Seger song...) Lamar balks at wearing the iconic “tighty whities” for the dance. He gets a call, as they are rehearsing (as one does) from Kobe Bryant, who tells him to practice more.
“Hopefully I can make him proud... when I dance to the cha cha in my underwear, ” says Lamar.
Well... Peta’s choreography certainly makes one think of that iconic movie. But Lamar Odom is no Tom Cruise. He is one of those lead foot dancers who certainly needs to go home soon. Ugh.
Len: “I like to see you dance because you are so much fun... The wheels fell off a bit... so...” Bruno: “I was very distracted because all I could see was bounce flying around. You went for Undress for Success. It works for some... You couldn’t quite manage it until the end.” Carrie Ann: “This week, you channeled the love you felt from the audience. I saw you way more confident. I could see that you felt good about yourself out there. We didn’t see that in the past.”
Erin: “You don’t need a pep talk this week, cause guess what? Dancing in your underwear—you owned it. No one does it better than you.” (This makes Sean Spicer laugh behind her... guess he’s glad he didn’t have to do this dance.)
Lamar and Peta, cha cha
JUDGES: 12 (out of 30) Ouch.
Sailor Brinkley-Cook, who, remember is filling in for her mother (Christie Brinkley) performs a tango to “Mama Mia” with Val. Sailor is very excited, and looks upon the song as a chance “to really celebrate my mom. I know (she) is really gonna love this dance. She loves this movie. Every time we watch it together, we smile from ear to ear. She’s definitely a special mom.”
They show Christie backstage, giving Sailor a pep talk.
Sailor and Val are just so fun to watch. This dance was effusive and fun. The (all-male) troupe was spectacular. Costumes and sets are superb.
Bruno: “How can I resist you? You’ve taken on board all that we’ve said in the past few weeks. You’ve worked very very hard at it, and it shows. Nothing unclear. Nothing shaky. Nothing uncertain. A great feel-good tango.” He also compliments Val’s choreography. “Brilliant, Val, brilliant.” Carrie Ann: “Very clever way to enhance the routine with lots of lifting, cause you didn’t do the lifts.” (She finally concedes they were all “legal lifts.”) “What a transformation. I was watching you. Huge congratulations for a huge leap forward.” (This makes Val jump for joy.) Len: “It was full of snap, crackle and pop. Lots of energy. Lots of clever moments going on. Do you know what’s brilliant about this season?... This was a fantastic routine, and well done.” (Val is beaming at that one.)
Erin: “Sailor. I felt like I was in the movie, watching you in the movie. It was so amazing. I can’t wait for you to watch it back. How did it feel?” She says she just wanted to make her mama and Meryl Streep proud. Val says: “I’m really grateful that I have a partner that loves to learn, and is grateful to be here, doesn’t take it for granted. I’m proud to see her shine.” Erin: “With the best attitude, the best smile. You’ve just taken this whole thing in stride. I love it.”
Sailor and Val, tango
Kel gets very excited when Witney tells him that they are doing a rumba to “My Heart Will Go On," from Titanic. He starts raving about Leonardo DiCaprio movies... etc. What he didn’t hear, which was key, is “we are doing a rumba.” (Also, Jack dies in Titanic.)
It was a serviceable rumba, nothing to write home about.
Carrie Ann: “Really solid dancing. I can tell how hard you’re working because of the way you made every detail so specific. But you were a little tight. But otherwise, it was quite lovely.” Len: “You needed more shaping in your hand. Your feet... it was hard to see ’em in that fog. I woulda liked a bit more toning in that. Listen. It’s always a good, solid performance. I enjoyed watching.” Bruno: “Look at the bright side. Unlike the Titanic, you managed to complete the sailing without sinking. You have to soften a little bit. The intensity, take away the fluidity. I’m sure you have talent to work on it, come back even better.”
(I listened to that Bruno comment three times. I think what he’s trying to say is that if you are too intense, you are less fluid than you need to be with the rumba.)
Erin also tries to figure out what the heck Bruno was talking about, and finally says: “I think it’s Len who needs to stop being so serious.” To which Len does this:
Kel and Wiitney, rumba
(Seriously, this show is so damn fun...)
Speaking of fun... let’s have a party. Troupe members... Present? (Remember Miche’s rule of #DWTS? The more troupe members in a dance, the worse the dancer.)
The best part of having the hated Sean Spicer on this show I gotta say is seeing all his baby pics. LOL
Lindsay and Sean are doing a cha cha to Saturday Night Fever.
The package shows Sean walking through New York, picking up a white suit, doing the John Travolta thing. With all the swagger that a sad pigeon-toed man can muster.
But now, look at the set and the costumes. You can see, logistically, why they left this one for last. So much going on. Beautiful recreation of that dance floor.
Well, I can say this. Of all the worst dancers ever on #DWTS, he’s not the worst. But he sure does make the list. He does try to hit his marks, and there is some rhythm. But, oh my...
Tom notes that “the confetti drink count is now at six,” which is certainly the most exciting thing about that number.
Tom indicates that Bruno should start, but apparently Len glares at him, so he then calls on Len first. (*sigh*)
Len: “I don’t know about Saturday Night Fever. More like Monday night lukewarm.” Len gets booed for this, but he’s NOT wrong. “You walk along, your feet are great. But you start to do New Yorks and things, you’re so pigeon-toed. But—you’ve mastered the Roly-Poly.” (Len then makes the hand gesture he’s talking about.)
Bruno: “What I was going to say was that you’re a genius.” Sean: “OK.” Bruno: “You turned Saturday Night Fever into a disaster blockbuster. People would want to watch that again, I promise you.” Tom: “It sounded so promising at the start...”
Carrie Ann: “You know what I love is you’re living your best life right now.” (She is right about that.) “You smile from the moment you start until the moment you finish. I’d like to see you loosen up just a little bit. You are a little bit robotic. I don’t know. People seem to love you, so you might be here awhile.” :-0 (Dear God, no.) Sean: “I’m working on it.”
Erin: “What happened to the knee jump? We showed it in the package?” Sean: “I forgot how old I was. I saw it on the plane, and said I could do that. I showed it to Lindsay.” Erin: “And she said?,” handing the mic to Lindsay. Lindsay: “Let’s try it.” Sean: “I did it once, and she said, ‘Let’s move on.’”
Sean and Lindsay, cha cha
Who will be in the bottom two?
After meticulously going through all the couples, and determining that Lamar and Peta and Kel and Witney are the bottom two... Len announces that there will be no elimination because Ray went home.
Miche’s Favorites of Movie Night
1. James and Emma, rumba
2. Sailor and Val, tango
3. Karamo and Jenna, jive
4. Kate and Pasha, quickstep
5. Ally and Sasha, rumba
6. Hannah and Alan, rumba
7. Lauren and Gleb, tango
8. Kel and Witney, rumba
Please Go Home
1. Sean
2. Lamar
3. Kel
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