Season 29, Week 5: On Last Week’s Fiasco, and It’s ’80s Week (or Night)

Here’s what we had at the end of last week’s show. Keo and Anne (the eventual couple going home), along with Chrishell and Gleb and Peta and Vernon (both couples in the bottom rungs of the standings). I’ve watched this show for many years, and while there is occasionally a jump where a top contender ends up in the bottom two unexpectedly, it’s Never when there are this many competitors, and so many still at the bottom. Never.

So no one is going to convince me that this was the ACTUAL bottom two.

No how, no way. It doesn’t make sense mathematically. It doesn’t make sense logically. It’s just wrong.

But here’s the thing that I rest my hat on: With ANY of these three couples (Monica/Val, Chrishell/Gleb and Peta/Vernon), I believe that Keo and Anne would have been the ones selected to go home. So that proper couple did end up going home.

However, Val and Monica should not have been subjected to this madness. 

Another thing. For all the seasons of DWTS, they have referred to things as “Weeks.” For some reason, this season, they keep referring to things as “Nights.” So instead of “’80s Week,” it’s “’80s Night.” Drives me mad. Confused Carrie Ann recently too. 

They start off ‘80s Week/Night with a kinda cute “Aerobics with the Stars” thing where everyone is dressed in ‘80s workout clothes. Then, Tyra tries to explain that the above two people were actually the Bottom Two, which I still don’t (and won’t) believe. But moving on…

Sasha and Justina, jazz (“Maniac” from “Flashdance”)

What a great way to kick off the show! This number was so fun. Justina really brings it, and Sasha’s choreography is, as always, stellar. Of course, it ends with the trademark Flashdance water dump.

Derek: “What a great way to open the show, especially for ’80s Night. That was so perfect for this night. You are a maniac, and I mean that in the best possible way. You were always so much fun to watch. So much fun! This is the stage of the competition where the competition really begins. It’s such an even playing field for everybody. So keep working hard, stay focused and let the games begin.” (I would argue that Justina and Sasha are already among the front runners, IMHO.) “Because we’re going to be paying attention to all the details, so let’s bring it.” Bruno: “Sasha—you could not be flashier if you tried. This was so deliciously ’80s, I was crying all the way through, for the good reason.” Carrie Ann: “Like you, Flashdance was my jam in the ’80s, so I had high expectations. You were incredible. You totally brought the ’80s to life from top to bottom. And what’s so impressive about you two, truly, is the sync. You guys matched every line perfectly.”

JUDGES: 24 (out of 30)

 Sharna and Jesse, tango (Tears for Fears)

It wasn’t the smoothest tango in the world, but when you’re dancing to “Everybody Wants to Rule the World,” how can you go wrong? Sharna’s pink hair really worked here too. I dug it.

Bruno: “You started very well. You went wrong quite a few times. You kind of lost your timing. It’s getting the balance of the two—the performance and the technique. Both of them have to be at the same level. I get what you’re trying to do performance-wise, and you’re getting there. But then, you lost your steps, you lost your time. I’m sorry.” Carrie Ann: “I agree with Bruno, but Jesse, what I do wanna say is I thought you were much more confident. When that beat kicked in, I saw you feeling the music for the first time. So we have to celebrate the victories. Jesse, you’re still slightly disconnected from Sharna, but take that confidence and that connection to the music, and reconnect to Sharna.” Derek: “Jesse, we are rooting for you. We are rooting for everybody here. We want you all to succeed. We want you to improve. We want you to have those breakthroughs. Unfortunately, we also have to be honest. You are improving each week. I didn’t think this was your best dance. But I still commend you for going out here.”

JUDGES: 19 (out of 30)

Gleb and Chrishell, cha cha (New Kids on the Block)

Let’s just say: Chrishell is WAY into New Kids on the Block. Gleb tells her they might be watching this, she says: “We can’t suck then.” LOL

(Sadly, while they both looked great, they pretty much did suck.)

Carrie Ann: “First of all, you have all the right stuff for ’80s, but kind of the wrong stuff for cha cha. I didn’t feel like you had enough content. There were so many opportunities to throw cha cha in. I don’t think you delivered in that area. I’m so frustrated, because it was so entertaining to watch, and you looked like you were having such a good time. I wish I could give you more than I can.” (This is a common Gleb mistake. He often opts for “entertaining” over content.) Derek: “For me, the best part was the side by side stuff. You were in that. For me, I still want to see you close your feet. You guys look amazing tonight.” Bruno: “Only those two can turn a cha cha cha into dirty dancing (again… Gleb…). I don’t mind it at all. But you have to be very careful the way you place your body and your feet. To get the right hip action. You really have to work on that.”

Chrishell doesn’t even care about the scores, because they give her a video from all the NKOTB boys, who root her on. She is beside herself.

JUDGES: 19 (out of 30)

Brandon and Jeannie, jazz (“Like a Virgin,” Madonna)

Too many lifts, not enough dancing for my taste. But it’s a great ’80s song, so that was fun.

Derek: “Y’all look absolutely adorable. Jeannie, there is a confidence about you when you dance that just brings an energy and an ease to watching your performance. It was just so much fun. You’re so committed. It was a simple, but clean, routine.” Bruno: “Squeaky clean tribute to the Material Girl. It was like Madonna has gone PG, all done in the best possible taste.” Carrie Ann: “You are incredible. That was an amazing performance. You, to me, are the most exciting performer. There’s something about you that lights up. You never know what you’re gonna do, but sometimes, that makes you go a step overboard and you fall out of balance. But you are the most exciting performer, and that performance showed that. I love watching you.”

JUDGES: 24 (out of 30)

Val and Monica, tango (“Tainted Love” by Soft Cell)

First of all, GREAT ’80s song. Also great costumes and hair. But most of all, I LOVED the choreography and all the little touches that Val puts into a dance. A tango IN HOLD! Traveling across the floor! What a concept! #Refreshing Just wonderful. I loved this dance. 

Bruno: “Focused, like a laser-guided missile. I’m gonna do this. I’m gonna get it right all the way through. You were so on it. Some of the shapes were fantastic. Some of the lines were brilliant. Even his mullet didn’t distract you. Great job.” Carrie Ann: “We saved you last week, and you do not disappoint. This was an incredible performance. You brought out the guns, you brought out the legs. You’re a very dynamic performer. We didn’t see that up until now. I’m so proud of you.” Derek: “I think the best thing to happen to you is being in the Bottom Two, cause it gave you an extra drive, and extra hunger in that dance. It was so good. In those moments, you have a choice: to either sink or swim. And this week, you swam, honey. It was so good. Those legs! Also, that was the first tango I’ve seen on the show that moved across the floor. Thank you.”

JUDGES: 26 (out of 30, their first 9s)

Cheryl and AJ, waltz (“Open Arms” by Journey)

Those costumes! That hair! Cheryl’s dress looked like spun bronze, so beautiful and flowing. And those cuff things! LOL AJ’s suit too, so ’80s. Just perfection. And we have another dance that is actually a waltz, with dancing in hold and traveling across the floor. Wonderful. At the end, they crown each other King and Queen of Homecoming. So perfect. Loved this dance too.

Carrie Ann: “Wow. Such an elegance. And the way you were leading Cheryl through that dance was beautiful. This is the perfect place that you should be at this week. Great job.” Derek: “I love this style on you. There’s a weird misconception that slower dances are easier, when in actual fact, they can be really hard. It’s like riding a bike slow, it’s hard to balance, right? But you had great control with your feet, which creates this smoothness across the floor. We don’t wanna see you try. It should just feel effortless. That was great.” Bruno: “It had a wonderful sweeping drive. Great motion.”

JUDGES: 24 (out of 30)

Alan and Skai, jazz (“The Power of Love” from “Back to the Future”)

Well, the costumes and hair can’t ALL be winners. #Cringe Let’s just say that I hated everything about this dance, and leave it at that. Ugh.

Derek: “That was so fun. When you’re side by side, you light up. Your energy comes forward. I feel you. Sometimes when you get into hold, I feel your energy go back a little bit. That was so fun.” Bruno: “You survived the lifts. I was screaming. When you do those lifts, you have to be very careful of the dismount.” Carrie Ann: “You have moments of greatness, but because you’re so petite, you need to expand your movements to fill up the music.”

JUDGES: 24 (out of 30)

Peta and Vernon, tango (Bon Jovi)

Yes, there was traveling and a lot in hold, but it really felt like Peta was doing all the work. It felt awkward to me.

Bruno: “It started so well. But you went wrong. Your footwork started to be a little bit flat.” Carrie Ann: “I still like the quality of movement that you’re showing us. There is an understanding of how you’re moving and the catalyst of the movement that I really enjoy. When you’re out of hold, I want you to do those bigger.” Derek: “Huge shoutout to hair and makeup. You guys look incredible. Unbelievable. What’s so interesting about you, Vernon, is that you thrive in the softer dances. I feel like I wanna see a little more attack from you.”

JUDGES: 21 (out of 30)

Artem and Kaitlyn, tango (“I Think We’re Alone Now”)

There wasn’t a lot of tango in this, and at the end they did this bizarre thing that I guess was supposed to be an ’80s dance move? Ugh.

Not my favorite.

Carrie Ann: “I did not see that coming at the end. What was that? This was the fourth tango we’ve seen tonight, and in frame, you are far superior to anybody else’s frame. You guys together, beautifully dancing. That ending though…” Derek: “I loved the choreography at the top, using the props. I appreciate that so much. Last week, when I said I wanted to see a different side of you, I wasn’t expecting a B-girl coming out, with that freeze at the end. But that was a beautiful tango. The musicality, the accents you hit in there, the sharpness. It was fantastic.” Bruno: “Those accents, and the staccato. That made me happy.” 

JUDGES: 27 (out of 30)

Daniella and Nelly, samba (DeBarge)

Daniella, with her hair and fringe, tries to triple her samba bounce to cover that Nelly is barely bouncing at all. Love her choreography, but man, he is just so stiff.

Derek: “That was your best dance ever. It was a legit samba. There was a freedom to you tonight, man. It was so enjoyable to watch, you were in the pocket of the music.” Bruno: “You were so much lighter on your feet. It was effortless, it was carefree. All of your footwork was so nimble and precise, and yet, you managed to keep the freedom in the body. You were doing a proper samba.” Carrie Ann: “Dance has the power to make us happy. To me, that is the most important thing. I want to feel good when I watch someone dance. That made me so happy. You! Having this ease. I don’t know what’s going on tonight, but it’s yummy.”

JUDGES: 24 (out of 30)

Britt and Johnny, contemporary (“Total Eclipse of the Heart”)

Kinda bizarre, I gotta say, to do contemporary on ’80s Night. Although it does allow both Britt and Johnny to showcase their best strengths.

Bruno: “What you’re doing now, which is the sign of an artist, you really give dance a meaning. We always know that you have great extension, elevation, you feel the space. But not just with the moves, with the emotion.” Carrie Ann: “Johnny, turn around and take a bow. Consider that contemporary crushed. Britt, that choreography was amazing. This is your first season as a pro. Amazing choreography. Johnny, the way you delivered that. Oh my god!” Derek: “Johnny, I think with you there’s always been this sort of high expectation. Tonight, I was watching. Dude, that was perfect. The movement, the quality of movement. Beautiful.”

JUDGES: 29 (out of 30)

Jenna and Nev, quickstep (A-Ha)

The hair! The costumes! Awesome.

Great song to end ’80s Night with. Very fun.

Carrie Ann: “First I wanna say: ’80s Night—all of you guys, all of the dancers, our production crew, hair and makeup, wardrobe. It’s the best, it’s amazing. Nev, you are one of the most consistent dancers, but tonight I thought that your frame was a little pushing away, so it felt awkward for me watching you. Just a few times, you were a little ahead. It didn’t feel like you were solid on your feet.” Derek: “I absolutely loved it. It was great. Your face at the beginning, destroyed me. Great way to end the night.” Bruno: “I think you have taken to the quickstep like a duck to water. You managed to maintain the timing. Very efficient.” 

JUDGES: 26 (out of 30)

I’m almost scared to see who are in the Bottom Two this week.

Now, the Bottom Two should be somewhere in the bottom of this leaderboard…

Vernon and Peta and Jesse and Sharna are the Bottom Two. That tracks.

Going home?

MICHE’s Favoritres of ’80s Week

1. Val and Monica, tango

2. Sasha and Justina, jazz

3. Cheryl and AJ, waltz

4.Jenna and Nev, quickstep

5. Sharna and Jesse, tango

6. Artem and Kaitlyn, tango

7. Britt and Johnny, contemporary

8. Brandon and Jeannie, jazz

9. Peta and Vernon, tango

Please Go Away!

1. Skai

2. Chrishell

3. Nelly

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