I don't care if no one posts here but me. This is just eating me up.

Feeling now the sadness of more than twenty years ago that I couldn't allow myself to feel then. Hearing the so-familiar Iraqi dialect of Baghdad that used to be music to my ears.

They had a thing this morning on the radio about the Ba'ath Party. Again. Reminds me a lot of Hitler's National Socialists, actually. Kinda funny. Didn't know I dated a gangster.

I don't know what tears me up more--that our romance died, that he must've lived in hell these past twenty years, or that our son might've grown up to be in the Army too, maybe tortured people too. All of these run through my mind these days,with each Iraq report.

Why didn't I care this much after the first Gulf War? Why didn't I strive to look him up then? Whatever is the urgency now?

Mostly I just feel how much, after all these years, I still love him and wish him well. Wherever he and his family are. In my morning prayers, I send him love. Love to him, his family, and those he loves. Yes, even that Iraqi girl he married instead of me.

Well, no one's posting here. Why do some blogs work, and others don't? I ask you.

I'm feeling depressed about the war, about poverty, about the state of our country. What is to become of us?

Ravenous about news about Iraq. Things keep going through my head. Statements the boy made to me way back when. "Do you know what is Ba'ath Party?" Me, stupid me. Sure didn't. At least I knew where Iraq was on a map, and that it's capital was Baghdad. More than most American college students could say.

I was thinking that recently. How they laughed at me, stupid American girl. Didn't know where Basra or Tikrit was. Didn't even know that Iran was fighting Iraq. Naive, stupid girl.

At least, back then, I knew that Iraq had a long illustrious history, that the Arabian Nights took place in Baghdad, and that it used to be a place of magic. Not a place of fear and torture and death.

And where is he now? My sweet-faced Iraqi boy? I can only wonder. And pray for him.

Well, I'm waiting for Mikey to post to answer that, Sal. He has quite a different view of this war thing than I do.

Yes, it's wartime. It seems like having a place to vent right at the beginning of it would be a good thing. And trust me, if Mikey gets involved, there'll be quite a bit of debating.

And Rene, the Blog thing has become quite common web parlance. I'm just entering that game late. (As are you, apparently.)

PS--Thanks to David for relinking me. Sheesh. I thought I had it bookmarked! :-)