Season 30, Week One: A Real Mix of Characters (Our First Girl-Girl Dance) and No Elimination

  

Usually the intros they’ve been showing have been really lame acting things (for Season 29). This intro, where they show clips of all 30 seasons, was wonderful. Even if they didn’t show Tom Bergeron or Erin Andrews once. :-(  (To say nothing of Brooke Burke…)

It is about the dancing, after all. 

And to show that, they also have an opening number again! YAY!!!

Wait, what’s that? Four judges? Oh. Len is back. Yay! I really missed him last season (damn you, Covid).

Always fun to see who’s on the show on the first episode. So who do we have?

Oh. They tell us the stars, but not who they’re paired with. Ugh.

Melanie C., The Miz, Iman Shumpert, Olivia Jade, Jimmie Allen, Melora Hardin, Suni Lee, Cody Rigsby, Amanda Kloots, Martin Kove, Kenya Moore, Christine Chiu, Matt James, Brian Austin Green and JoJo Siwa. Quite the lineup.

Bachelors don’t have as much of a record of winning this as Bachelorettes do, luckily (Matt James).

Gleb and Mel C, cha cha

They cha cha to a Spice Girls song, of course. Nice cha cha to start off the show.

So they give titles to the judges for the first time: Len, Professional Ballroom Judge; Derek, Choreographer and Six-Time DWTS Champion; Bruno, Film, Music Video and Theatre Choreographer; Carrie Ann, Choreographer and Dance Producer. Well, alright then.

They have an audience (which they didn’t in Season 29). Everyone in the audience is masked. Although it doesn’t look like the size of audience they normally have, any audience is a good thing.

Len says it’s good to be back. “You have danced that absolutely terrific, I thought. You won’t be getting any taxis home in the near future. It had great choreography, a really polished performance.” Derek: “That was so clean, so precise. You have incredible legs.” Bruno: “Watch Gleb, because he tends to steal the shots. Hip action could be a little bit more pronounced.” Carrie Ann: “All my dreams are coming true, that  Season 30 started with you, Sporty Spice. You are my favorite Spice Girl. You are so good. Very clean, very tight. You could loosen up a bit, but you were the first one out: Amazing.”

JUDGES: 27 (out of 40)

CLUE ONE: Astute DWTS viewers will note that when they show the potential pro dance partners (they have eight squares with a female pro in each: left to right, Sharna, Emma, Britt, Cheryl, Witney, Daniella, Jenna and Lindsay), they show eight, but there are only SEVEN male stars above. Hmmm…

Witney and The Miz, cha cha

They are doing an intro of each star, then surprising us with who their partner is. (They’ve never done it like this before.)

The Miz, aka Mike, is paired with Witney. It was a fine cha cha.

Tyra congratulates Derek on winning an Emmy last week (for choreography). Derek thanks the team at DWTS who helped make it happen. Derek: “Man, that opening! You’re like: ‘I mean BIZ. Let’s go.’” He says it’s good to have Witney back (she missed last season). “I was really surprised. I’m not gonna lie. I was expecting you to be a little stiff. But you came out there, you were flowin,’ you were goin,’ man.” Bruno: “Witney! You’ve tamed the beast. What’s going on here? I was expecting mayhem, bashing things about. No. Light on his feet. A well-oiled loin machine. (As he shakes his hips sensuously.) Where is it all coming from? Very, very impressed. A bit flat-footed, but it’s only Week One.” Carrie Ann: “Bruno, you made it awkward already.  So, Miz… you were incredible. The energy that came out of you was ridiculous.” And to Witney: “Welcome back, Momma, btw.” Len: “Miz, better than expected.”

JUDGES: 24 (Out of 40)

Daniella and Iman, jive

Daniella Karagach, in her second season as a pro, mentions in the package that she’s “blown away” by how tall he is. He is a good head taller than her.

This is a swinging jive. I’ll tell you what, he’s a damn sight better than Nelly last season. This guy can MOVE. And his kicks and flicks, for Week One, are actually kicks and flicks. I dug this dance a lot.

Bruno: “It’s very very hard for very tall people to do the jive, because usually it’s a very small and compact dance. But you were very nimble, very light on your feet. You have musicality. Great debut.” Carrie Ann: “Iman, you are the Fly Guy of Season 30. That was ridiculous. I’ve never seen a jive like that, especially not in episode One. That was incredible. You were stylish, you were smooth. You had your own thing. It was amazing choreography.” Len: “Sad to say, I thought it was all too casual. It was too loose. The technique was poor. However, I must say, it was fun and it was entertaining.” Derek: “What I loved about you so much was you just looked so comfortable out there. You were in your element, having a good time. I agree with Len a little bit, with some of the content in there, but great first week.”

JUDGES: 21 (Out of 40)

CLUE TWO: When they show the men, it’s six boxes. (Left to right: Brandon, Val, Alan, Pasha, Sasha, Artem) Hmmm…

Val and Olivia Jade, salsa

Oh! She’s not only “an influencer,” but she was one of the girls involved in that college admissions scandal (which explains why she’s on DWTS). 

Fun dance. He flips her at the end. 

Carrie Ann: “I’m so proud of you. This is the start of a brand-new chapter in your life. I’m so proud of the way you came out with such confidence. You were so sure of yourself. Great lines, great legs. I’m excited.” Len: “Salsa’s a club dance, so it could’ve been a tad more spicy. However, it was clean, it was clear and it was polished.” Derek: “You have so much potential. You were such a great performer. Great legs. What a great first dance.” Bruno: “Olivia, my darling, for a first-timer, you’ve taken to it like a duck to water.”

JUDGES: 25 (Out of 40)

CLUE THREE: As the women get paired off, the boxes are removed. So now there are six women pros in boxes. Hmmm…

Emma and Jimmie Allen, tango

Emma starts this dance on top of a car which has a large mirror ball, which appears to have smashed the windshield. And it’s still smoking. 

Not sure about the song. The dance was ok.

Len: “Jimmie, lemme say, this dance does not suit your personality. You’re a cool sort of a guy, relaxed. I’m sure that there’s a lot more talent in there than we saw on that dance. You’re gonna be loose, you’re gonna go a long way. You’ve got great potential.” (MAN, do I miss Len. So glad he’s back.) Derek: “I don’t know what’s going on tonight, but everybody’s been really really good. Listen, that was an incredible Week One frame. Honestly. Keep it consistent. Great tango, brother.” Bruno: “What’s going on? You crashed my car? You did manage to keep the tango on track. But there were a few skips along the way. It’s a very difficult dance. You have to think about it like a stalking cat. There has to be a constancy and incredible control. There were some good moments, but it was very uneven. Work on it, because you could be very good.” Carrie Ann: “Jimmie, great job first time out there. It’s a very tough dance. There’s a lot of specificity.”

JUDGES: 22 (Out of 40)

They also have the paired up couples now sitting at tables ringside. Fascinating.

Artem and Melora, tango

They dance a tango to a more hard rock number. “Simply Irresistible.”

Derek inexplicably gives this a standing ovation. “That was unbelievable. I’m actually like blown away. That had light and shade, all the dynamics. The control gliding across the floor. You threw yourself in those dips with control. Holy moly. We’re keeping an eye on you, girl.” Bruno: “My darling, you rocked that tango, and you rocked me. I love rock ’n’ roll. Great lines, great placement.” Carrie Ann: “I have to give it up for the drama. You brought the drama to that dance. And you brought the beautiful lines. You have the extension, you have the grace, you have the ferocity of spirit.” Len: “I liked it. No messing, no stressing, you just came out and danced.”

JUDGES: 26 (Out of 40)

Sasha and Suni Lee, jive 

I think I go into every season rooting the most for Sasha, who is long overdue his first Mirror Ball. This time, he’s again paired with a gymnast.

And I just loved this dance. Very fun. She did a quick (perfect) splits. Sure.

Bruno: “My golden girl. You can jive, baby. Those kicks and those flicks! The precision, the retraction, the placement.” Carrie Ann: “You are incredible. The skills you have! You are a perfect match for ballroom dancing. Everything you’re doing is amazing.” Len: “Dance is a mix between neat and precise and then freedom and flair. When it’s great, that goes together. Now this was neat, it was precise, it was right on the button. It just needed to be a little bit more free. But lovely job.” Derek: “I’ve had the privilege of dancing with two gymnasts in the past (Shawn Johnson and Nastia Lukin), and one thing I always used to say to them was: ‘A little bit less perfection, and a little bit more expression.’ Just have fun out there, cause you already have the technique.”

JUDGES: 28 (Out of 40)

Cheryl and Cody, tango

Everyone knows Cody Rigsby as a Peleton instructor, so of course the number starts with a bunch of people on Peleton bikes. But then it evolves into a really great tango.

(They also introduce “our new pros: Sofia and Ezra.”)

Carrie Ann: “Now Cody, I see what the hype’s all about. You are fabulous. You have great energy. I’d like to see you relax, cause you have the moves. We definitely want more of that, OK?” Len: “You have great presence. There’s a lot of promise there. You’ve got to keep your head up a little bit more. I tell you what: you are one to watch.” Derek: “You’re an absolute riot in the best possible way. Just to echo what they said a little bit, you just have to isolate your top half from your bottom half. We were so entertained. So much fun! You’re gonna be a blast.” Bruno: “Great ride. On and off the bike. I love it. Love the attitude. Some work to do, you’ll be great.”

JUDGES: 24 (Out of 40)

Alan and Amanda, tango

Great costumes, as you can see. I enjoyed this tango,

Len: “That was full of tango content. It had attack, it had confidence. A little bit more body contact, and maybe the feet could’ve been crisper, however, that was a really great first dance.” Derek: “In my opinion, dance is the best way to claim your joy. So good to see you out there, dancing. Unbelievable. The finesse. Your frame. The way you moved across that floor. You hit every single step right on. The attack. That was a sensational routine.” Bruno: “My love, you belong here. That was a beauty. You managed to put so many little details in the interpretation. Sometimes cool, sometimes catlike, sometimes sexy. She’s got it all.” Carrie Ann: “Hi, my friend. You brought tears to my eyes. Because I know how much you’ve been through. And I know that Nick is watching down on you, smiling at us, so proud of you. You were nothing but elegant, and beauty and finesse and just like an angel dancing. It was wonderful.”

JUDGES: 28 (Out of 40)

Britt and Martin, paso doble

 Martin Kove, for those not in the know, is the sensei on Cobra Kai. So he starts the dance with a spoken word chant to the audience, to which they respond. “Nerves do not exist in this ballroom, do they?” (Len must hate this part…) Then the dance starts. And oh, is he terrible. He’s among the worst of the dancers they’ve ever had on DWTS. He’s basically walking, and making gestures with his fists. Ugh.

Derek: “Cobra Kai forever! That opening speech got me fired up. I just feel like you were a little unprepared. Next week, go in rehearsal with that competitive mindset. Put in the hours, and we’ll see you next week, brother.” Bruno: “The pitch! It was like somebody pitching an epic film. I thought this was gonna be a blockbuster. I think we need to work on the content to make the blockbuster. At times, it looked like you didn’t quite know what was coming next.” Carrie Ann: “I just wanna say to all of you young folks out there. I hope you’re taking notes on what commitment to character looks like. Cause that was commitment to character. But with all due respect, it was more pata than it was paso doble, so next week, we’ll see what happens.” Len: “Well, lemme say, for someone in their 70s, I thought you came out and did a really gallant effort.”

JUDGES: 13 (Out of 40)

(I don’t think I’ve ever seen 3s on this show. Wow.)

Brandon and Kenya, foxtrot

I don’t know about that stripe thing on his pants. Otherwise, nice dance. I enjoyed it.

Bruno: “It was like watching Venus emerging from a kiss. (They had a replica of that Lips sofa onstage.) Classic, glossy, with a luxurious sheen. You move very very well.” Carrie Ann: “Nice, Kenya. Kenya, you look like a queen out there. What you have that most people struggle with is the refinement and the relaxed body. You just relax so easy, but in the right posture.” Len: “I liked the nice fluidity through the arms. It had a charm and a sophistication you wanna see in a foxtrot.” Derek: “So much potential. This is Week One. I can’t wait to see what you’re gonna do in this show. Beautiful.”

JUDGES: 26 (Out of 40)

Pasha and Christine, tango

In their package, she calls herself a “super fan” of DWTS. Then, she proceeds to ask him to show her his abs. (She does know his wife, Daniella, is also on the show, right?) He demurs, and says: “It’s our first meeting.” Instead of “HOW RUDE!” (Which is what I would’ve said.)

Certainly one of the best tangos of the night. Great choreography.

Carrie Ann: “Bling bling in the house. Yeah. You were like a diamond in the rough. Most dancers would pay to have that back that you have. The flexibility is incredible, but you’re a little inconsistent. But it’s still early. And this is exactly what we’re looking for on Dancing with the Stars.” Len: “It had staccato. I liked the routine. You had great control throughout it. Overall, I thought it was a terrific effort.” Derek: “I love that dress. I’m all about the bling. I’m all about the rhinestones. Really, really good. The frame was beautiful.” Bruno: “My queen of bling. You’re a gem. Little bit more polish, and you will achieve full brilliance.”

JUDGES: 25 (Out of 40)

(See? Len gave it a seven, when all the others gave it a 6.)

Lindsay and Matt, cha cha

They dance to “Give It To Me, Baby.” Can’t go wrong with Rick James.

Len: “I would’ve liked to have seen a little bit more hip action. That was lacking. However, if you listen to Lindsay, work hard, I think your future is gonna be rosy.” (*eyeroll*) Derek: “Let’s go! That was a great cha cha. Great job. And Lindsay, welcome back. So charismatic. Great performer.” Bruno: “These guys got plenty to give. And you did deliver. Because you really have a wonderful, spontaneous quality. Natural stage presence. They’re all right. If you get the wrong footwork, you won’t get the right hip action. Next time, you’ll be brilliant.” Carrie Ann: “Footwork is iffy, for sure. What I really love is the way you use the space. You’re not afraid to use the space. A lot of big guys dance small. You dance big, and the body rolls: A+.”

JUDGES: 24 (Out of 40)

Sharna and Brian, foxtrot

For my money, this is the best pairing of Week One, Season 30. Sharna Burgess and Brian Austin Green as a couple in real life, and here they are, dancing together. How wonderful! And to start off with a romantic foxtrot… I’m just swooning over here.

Sharna just looks stunning, and I just loved this dance. 

Derek: “My coaches always told me, ‘Never date your dance partner.’ But I’m dating my dance partner right now, and I think it works. Brian, that was so good, man. There was like an ease to you.” Bruno: “I don’t know why, but I’m sensing some very very strong, sizzling chemistry. I wonder why. You were Prince Charming out there. Don’t stop the flow.” Carrie Ann: “I love seeing Sharna so happy. Brian, you’re staring at her most of the dance. You also have to perform out to us, ok?” Len: “This competition is developing into something special.”

JUDGES: 24 (Out of 40)

And now….drum roll, please…. The big reveal…Two girls dancing together (for the first time in 30 seasons). (*faints on fainting couch*) I can see the ABC/Disney execs, sitting on the edge of their seats, waiting for the angry letters and emails and posts. Guess what? They didn’t come. In fact, you can stop clutching your pearls now. This was a great quickstep, and no one batted an eye.

Jenna and JoJo, quickstep

There are different accommodations that one makes to dance female-to-female. I’m sure in the ballroom dances, where the “male” role is so strongly defined (tango, paso doble), it might be a challenge. But dammit, Jenna Johnson is up to that challenge!

Personally, I’m so excited about this, even if it may take another 30 seasons to see that male-on-male rumba. #Sigh

The audience, btw, is clapping and cheering madly through this whole dance. They dance to “Are You Gonna Be My Girl?” And the answer to that is definitively YES. We have a female star with a female pro partner. Let Season 30 begin. History has been made.

Let’s just point out at this moment the elephant in the room here. Bruno has been making comments in his judging to the male stars that would (at any major corporation) cause him to be marched down to HR immediately. Salacious, sexy, talking about their body parts lasciviously. No one makes a big deal about that.

And the door was opened slightly when Johnny Weir danced in drag (as Amy Winehouse) in Season 29. But these girls are embracing what this means and putting it out there for this season. I can’t wait.

Bruno: “Finally, the groundbreaking moment we’ve all been waiting for. Jojo, I’m full of joy for everyone. I love to see this freedom of expression, this liveliness.” Carrie Ann: “JoJo Siwa, making history! You and Jenna. That was amazing. Not only are you taking the lead, you lifted your partner when she slipped. You had her back, you didn’t even bat an eye.” Len: “Full of attack, full of enthusiasm, it lost a little control here and there, but Wow! What an entertaining performance.” Derek: “You were born for Dancing with the Stars.”

JUDGES: 29 (Out of 40) (The highest score of the night!)

Since it’s the first week, no one is yet eliminated. We are just getting to know all the stars. And catching our breath at this wonderful history being made. Finally. 

And then, quietly, they show us this:

Awwwwww.I didn’t know Mary Wilson died. :-(  Interesting that it’s all women. No men died?

Now that makes me sad.

OK, here’s a way to cheer up.

So is JoJo going to be voted out immediately, after America gets irate and votes her out? (To which I say: did you see Martin Kove “dance”? :-o) Or is she going to take the Mirror Ball because America loves her and Jenna so much? We shall see. It’s going to be an interesting season.

MICHE’s Favorites of Week One

1. Sasha and Suni Lee, jive

2. Cheryl and Cody, tango

3. Sharna and Brian, foxtrot

4. Lindsay and Matt, cha cha

5. Daniella and Iman, jive

6. Jenna and JoJo, quickstep

7. Val and Olive Jade, salsa

8. Alan and Amanda, tango

9. Emma and Jimmie, tango

10. Pasha and Christine, tango

11. Artem and Melora, tango

12. Witney and the Miz, cha cha

13. Gleb and Mel C., cha cha

14. Brandon and Kenya, foxtrot

MUST GO HOME IMMEDIATELY

Martin Kove (sheesh)

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Season 29, Week 4: We Have No Theme, but We Have Great Dances, and Tyra Messes Up Real Bad

 Yes. I know it’s the pandemic, but jeez, has all creativity gone away too? Let’s just say that Dancing with the Stars is hurting from not having a splashy opening DANCE NUMBER. They have devised LAME opening segments instead. This one perhaps being one of the worst. A pseudo PSA from “Celebrities Who Don’t Like Criticism” bitching about the judges’ comments. Ugh. Stupid. Hated it.

Then we get ten minutes of Tyra walking through a door with a fancy dress on. #Eyeroll #WhoCares

As is common in this season, there is also no stated theme. The episode guides just call it “Top 13.” I refuse. Pick a damn theme, people.

Daniella and Nelly, paso doble

I really adore Daniella, and she is working so hard to make Nelly competitive. But he’s really not a dancer. Still, this paso doble was very watchable. If hair throwing were being judged, she’d have a Mirror Ball already.

Derek: “Nelly, you brought that poppin’ paso—way to start the show. I would’ve liked a little more shape. But I really liked that.” Bruno: “OK, you’ve got the power. Now you have to refine the artistry, especially in the shaping.” Carrie Ann: “Nelly! That is what I was looking for. We asked for a breakout last week. This is the breakout. There was not one misstep. The musicality, everything. I agree with Derek: a little bit more shaping. But wow, what an improvement.”

JUDGES: 21 (out of 30)

Gleb and Chrishell, foxtrot

As you can see from the pic, it’s kind of a more grabby foxtrot than I’m used to. Not as much, you know, dancing involved. Really hated this one.

Bruno: “Excuse me? Almost too hot to trot. I liked the role reversal. Started very well, but there was a stumble.” Carrie Ann: “Chrishell, I’m really proud of you. You’re really aware of your face. But what I’m liking is the way it’s extending out: the tips of your hands, the points of your feet. There’s so much potential, and you’re growing every week.” Derek: “You feel so much more comfortable. So much more confident. For me, this was your best dance.”

JUDGES: 22 (out of 30) #overscored

Val and Monica, samba

Monica still doesn’t seem totally comfortable as competitor rather than coach, and she chastised Val in the package for not having enough empathy. But we have gold sparkly fringe, we have “Party in the USA” and we have Val’s exquisite choreography. What’s not to like?

Carrie Ann: (stands and applauds) “Mad respect to you for doing that, because it brought you guys closer together. You were formidable partners, and it made the dancing so much better. Val, I have so much respect for you. The dancing is improved greatly . You looked like you were having fun, you were also totally in control.” Derek: “This was a proper samba. There was so much content. So fantastic. As coaches, we are forever students. We are always learning. You can see that in this performance. You’re always improving. Your best dance.” Bruno: “What really impressed me was how much this was a pure samba. You actually put all the required samba steps together. Good for you.”

JUDGES: 24 (out of 30)

Keo and Anne, paso doble

I don’t know what this was. Some kind of anthem disguised as a paso doble. OK. As a dance, it didn’t really hold up for me, certainly not as a paso. Too many of the actresses in this show just strike dramatic poses rather than just dancing. #NotaFan

Derek: “When you rise above the storm, you will always find sunshine. In this case, a beautiful rainbow. You felt so much more sturdy, so much more on your feet. So much more in control. It makes me so happy to see progress each week, from all of the couples.” Bruno: “The multicolored warrior! Out and proud. It was the most focused performance up to date.” Carrie Ann: “I just love you. Watching you is inspiring me on so many levels. You’re a bright light. But also, you are so powerful. You fought for every single step in that paso. You don’t give up, we don’t give up rooting for you. You still have stuff to learn, but I’m rooting for you, and I think everyone else is. Keep at it.”

JUDGES: 21 (out of 30)

Jenna and Nev, rumba

Beautiful dance, beautiful rumba. Great costumes, great choreography. Loved this one.

Bruno: “I feel so good, so lovey-dovey. Like a romantic dream, set to music. But you’re so in tune tonight, you two.” Carrie Ann: “The rumba is the woman’s dance, and it’s all about giving good frame, and you gave excellent frame. But you added a lot of poetry to it, which is such an amazing thing. You are standing out to me already as somebody we should keep our eye on. Your lines are beautiful. It’s all… Jenna, you guys are like a vision tonight.” Derek: “That was a beautiful rumba. The in-between movements that you have, the texture that you have are beautiful when we watch you dance. I loved it.” 

JUDGES: 24 (out of 30)

Sasha and Justina, salsa

 Justina dedicates this dance to her grandmother, who passed in 2006, who emigrated from Puerto Rico.

I love seeing those two dance together. That was so fun.

Carrie Ann: “You got us all up on our feet. That’s the first time this whole season. Usually everybody’s coming into Dancing with the Stars and trying something new and it’s foreign to them. Tonight, instead of you being in the ballroom, I felt like I came over to your house.” Derek: “Justina! Oh my gosh. You have so much charisma. So much fun. Last week, it lacked a little bit of energy, but you brought it all this week. It comes from within you. That’s what’s so much fun to watch you dance, cause it’s just so authentic. I love it. Keep that up.” Bruno: “Justina, La Reina Latina. She was on fire. Those hips don’t lie. Good for you.”

JUDGES: 24 (out of 30)

Artem and Kaitlyn, Viennese waltz

Two of my favorite people in the social media world are Kaitlyn Bristowe and her partner Jason Tartick. So when her package is full of them and their story, it’s only a good thing. #Swoon She dedicates this dance to him.

Kaitlyn, back in regular shoes, after two weeks of ankle injuries, tackles this Viennese waltz with Artem.

Great, wonderful Viennese waltz. Loved it.

Derek: “That was so beautifully danced. Just every week, you get better and better. It’s just so elegant, so effortless. It’s stunning. I’m really looking forward to a different type of dance that’s gonna bring out a different side to you.” Bruno: “You have such a flexibility in your back and in your arm, and you’re able to link all the movement with such grace. I can’t wait to see you do something different. If you’re as good in Latin as you are in ballroom… oh my!” Carrie Ann: “We all love love. Love is so special, and it’s like the mysterious ingredient that makes everything so magical. Tonight, you brought that. You are an excellent dancer, and you have been from Day One, I think. Tonight there was something very very special. I loved the lyricism. I could hear Len Goodman saying, “Why aren’t they in traditional hold?” but for me it worked and it worked beautifully.”

JUDGES: 25 (out of 30, the first 9 of the season)

Britt and Johnny, jive

How can a person not love a jive, danced to “Crocodile Rock”? I mean… C’mon!

Loved loved loved that so much.

Bruno: “Johnny is on full throttle. Now I see you, Johnny. You turned the lights on at full beam. You were performing, you were exploding out there. It’s like seeing the real you. It was fantastic. You’re always light on your feet, but you were sharp as well.” Carrie Ann: “What is going on? You guys had Disney Week last week, and everyone’s having breakthroughs tonight. That was incredible. You were glowing, every move. The resistance, the partnership, everything about it was fantastic.” Derek: “Johnny, to echo what they were both saying, it feels like when you’re off the floor, we see you, and when you hit the floor, sometimes it closes off a little bit. Tonight, you opened up, you let us in. And it was just so refreshing to watch that from you.”

JUDGES: 24 (out of 30)

Brandon and Jeannie, tango

Jeannie’s mom is betting against her winning #DWTS, so Jeannie uses that as motivation. They are dancing a tango to the White Stripes’ “Seven Nation Army,” so it’s a fun dance to watch.

Carrie Ann: “I would not bet against you, with all that fire, with all that passion. It was so good, until the end there was that misstep. Jeannie Mai, that is the direction that we need from you. I would’ve thought you’d be more of a Latin dancer, but you’re actually better in the ballroom.” Derek: “Your focus, your attitude in that dance was spot on. It was so good. Great job.” Bruno: “I love the way you can change and switch your personality. It worked extremely well. I love the range you have. Keep going.”

JUDGES: 21 (out of 30)

Peta and Vernon, rumba

First of all, Al Green’s “Let’s Stay Together” is a great song. Peta’s choreography definitely played well with the partnership.

Derek: “Man, I love this show so much. Seeing you dance a rumba brings me so much joy. Man, that was beautiful.” Bruno: “Vernon, you’re better and better every week. You have natural charm and charisma. Everything you do seems to be effortless. And you got those hips rotating.” Carrie Ann: “I don’t think we were looking at the arm motions. What’s so spectacular about you is the way you understand momentum. That sweep you did with Peta was like magic. There’s moments in some dances that take your breath away. The way you understand how the momentum works, that’s what’s special about you. And the hip action. There’s a poetry to you that’s really spectacular.”

JUDGES: 22 (out of 30)

Sharna and Jesse, cha cha

I love Sharna to death, and love her choreography always. The sets and costumes are great. But I’m just not feeling Jesse all season long. Dunno what it is, but he lacks the fire that so many of the other contestants really have.

Bruno: “Jesse! You drive me crazy. You’ve got the looks, you’ve got the vibe. You’ve got the girl. You almost had the timing. But you forgot the hips. There is so much that you could do. If you just pushed a little bit harder, it would be so much better. I don’t feel you’re quite there yet.” Carrie Ann: “Your musicality is improved. Definitely, I saw you on the beat. I want more from you. I wanna see what we see in the packages. There’s this easiness to you in the packages. When you’re not dancing, you’re like a different person. I wanna see more of that in the dance.” Derek: “Much better this week. It’s all about progress. It’s all about improving. So you did that.”

JUDGES: 21 (out of 30)

Alan and Skai, foxtrot

Skai dedicates this song to her colleague Cameron Boyce, who died. 

It is a beautiful foxtrot. 

Carrie Ann: “I was blown away by that,” she says with tears in her eyes. Derek: “This was my absolute favorite dance of the night. So beautiful. It was exquisite. It had so much breadth in there. Your neckline is stunning. You’re a gorgeous ballroom dancer. I’m really proud of you.” Carrie Ann: “For me, dance is always about emotion. I”m sure that Cameron is watching you right now, and he’s so proud of you. What you did, you were like an angel, dancing the most beautiful dance. I’m beyond words. It was just sheer perfection.” Bruno: “One thing is for sure: you are back in top form. That was stunning. It was the embodiment of grace and elegance. But what you had that I’ve rarely seen in someone so young is the poise. The poise was regal. Keep doing jobs like this.”

JUDGES: 28 (out of 30, first 10 of the season)

Cheryl and AJ, cha cha

During the pandemic, many things had to go away to put on a show: audiences, props, friends backstage, troupe dancers. But AJ and Cheryl came up with a novel idea to add flair to their dance: the Backstreet Boys, virtually. Appropriately to their song “Larger than Life,” as they appear larger than life behind him at the beginning of the dance (and throughout).

Very fun. Especially for Backstreet Boys fans.

Derek: “Larger than Life? Literally, like 80 foot back here. You are living legends. It’s always a pleasure to watch you, and to see that was fantastic. You’re just so likeable, and I enjoy watching you. Need to work on the footwork a little. Way to end the show.” Bruno: “Crowd-pleasing, barn-storming performance. You got all the reinforcement going, very good. Still need to work on the cha cha cha, but the performance? A winner.” Carrie Ann: “What a great way to end tonight. It has been so much fun. You’re such a natural entertainer, you just know how to bring it. Thank you, it was like going to a concert. We love it.”

JUDGES: 24 (out of 30)

The night’s final leaderboard. Now, something is about to happen that never happened when Tom Bergeron was host. I’m just saying.

Who goes home? Who is in the bottom two? Well…

We get down to these three couples left on stage.

Now, what I believe actually happened is that the bottom two SHOULD BE Anne and Keo and Chrishell and Gleb. But, for some reason, Tyra has a meltdown and says that Val and Monica should come back, because they are in the bottom two. See leaderboard above. I believe to this day that they were never in the bottom two properly. The math just doesn’t work out.

Don’t know exactly what happened here, but it was a major fiasco, the likes of which we’ve never seen.

So the judges now have to decide who’s going home, based on either Anne/Keo or Val/Monica. Well, duh.

Bizarre. Truly bizarre.

Miche’s Favorites of Week 4

1. Val and Monica, samba

2. Britt and Johnny, jive

3. Sasha and Justina, salsa

4. Cheryl and AJ, cha cha

5. Kaitlyn and Artem, Viennese waltz

6. Jenna and Nev, rumba

7. Sharna and Jesse, cha cha

8. Brandon and Jeannie, tango

9. Daniella and Nelly, paso doble

10. Peta and Vernon, rumba

Please Go Away

1. Anne Heche

2. Chrishell

3. Skai

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Season 29, Week 3: Disney Night Brings a Mix of Sublime and Sucky

Oh boy do they try to make something happen in this empty, audience-less ballroom. For the opening, they recreate (sorta) the famous Disneyland “Main Street Electrical Parade” with lights flashing, people waving glow sticks and a big caterpillar coursing the dance floor. And of course, the standard piped in audience applause that has been standard for this season. 

In the opening credits for the first time, they show each couple (together!) in their costumes and characters for the upcoming dances. Very nice. Although it did seem that there’s more than one Mary Poppins this week.

Alan and Skai, jive (“The Princess and the Frog”)

After last week’s catastrophic, messy fall, it’s hard to get back up again. She just looks so awkward in this dance. Lame kicks and flicks. Ugh.

Derek: “Last week, we had a bit of a heels over head moment, and I have to be honest with you, I’m not really head over heels with this performance tonight. In jive, you wanna have your nose over your toes. It was a little bit far away. Which made it look a little stiff sometimes. You have a lot of potential. It wasn’t my favorite.” Bruno: “That was a very difficult dance. It was tidy, crispy. You went for it with focus. When you do that, as a performer, you become tight. Very difficult to do.” Carrie Ann: “I know last week probably shook you up. At the top of the dance, you looked a little nervous. You weren’t really focused. Kinda like dancing to no one. I realize it’s harder without an audience to make eye contact with, but find something, so we feel like you’re performing for one person. That would’ve changed the whole beginning.”

JUDGES: 18 (out of 30)

Val and Monica, Viennese waltz (“The Little Mermaid”)

Val always has such stunning choreography. Plus, not everyone knows how to properly do a Viennese waltz. So, this was lyrical and beautiful to watch. Really enjoyed it.

Bruno: “You soared through it with such confidence and connection. It’s so good to see that. You were fluid, you were flowing. So much better.” Carrie Ann: “You were like a different person on the dance floor tonight. Did it feel different to you? (She says yes.) I could tell. When you have fun, we have fun watching you. Your body relaxes, all of the beautiful things happen when you relax.” Derek: “Actually beautiful. Watch the feet a little bit. This was so so much better than last week.”

JUDGES: 21 (out of 30)

Sasha and Justina, Charleston (“Mary Poppins”)

 While Val’s ace in the hole is the Viennese waltz, no one does a Charleston better than Sasha Farber. Largely because you can do more of the acrobatic tricks that Sasha likes to do in a Charleston. 

Loved this dance so much. Sasha and Justina are sincerely one of my favorite couples this time around. So much fun to watch. Love them.

Carrie Ann: “I loved it! What’s so incredible about you two specifically is the way you match each other. You guys are perfectly in sync. It’s very sharp and clean. I think it could’ve used a tiny bit more energy, but very nice.” Derek: “When I heard you were going to dance the Charleston, that was like: Man, she’s gonna crush this routine. Because it just matches your personality so much. However, when you think of Charleston, you think of the swivels. You think of the footwork. And I didn’t feel like I got that. Just steps, unfortunately. It could’ve been more energy, a little sharper for this performance.” Bruno: “You’re so sweetly delicious. You’re almost addictive. And you can sell anything. What this was like was a wonderful Vaudevillian musical performance. Lovely slapstick. But he’s right. Charleston is about the scissors action.”

JUDGES: 19 (out of 30)

Cheryl and AJ, quickstep (“Aladdin”)

Don’t really like this song (“Prince Ali”), but Cheryl’s stellar choreography goes a long way toward making this a fun dance. Plus, the costumes are rocking.

Derek: “I can always rely on you to put a smile on my face. You are always committed to every performance. So much fun. Actually, your frame was pretty good.” Bruno: “I loved it. I was cracking up. But you actually kept that quickstep going very very well. You’re improving and you’re refining every week. That’s what you do to win this competition.” Carrie Ann: “I liked you put your own spin on it. Now you’re starting to feel comfortable. You had the foxtrot last week. You did the quickstep, you were more comfortable in hold this week. I liked your own style. You kinda made it funky, a little bit in the middle.”

JUDGES: 21 (out of 30)

Keo and Anne Heche, quickstep (“Hercules”)

Keo is certainly my least favorite dancer on this show, and Anne Heche isn’t one of my favorite actresses, by any means. So I’m not thrilled about this couple at all. They are dancing to “Zero to Hero” from “Hercules.”

Bruno comments by saying some nonsense about Hercules and Hippolyta. Carrie Anne: “I loved the start. And then, you lost stuff… You need to recalibrate the partnership. You really lost control. I’m so bummed, cause you started out so strong. Keo, watch those lifts. I know it’s an intro, but I’m gonna be strict.” Derek: “I have a suggestion. In rehearsal, I would love for you to be able to dance the entire routine by yourself. So that way, you’re on your own feet. Even when you’re in hold. Dance it by yourself.”

JUDGES: 15 (out of 30)

Brandon and Jeannie, Viennese waltz (“Up”)

To their credit, Brandon and Jeannie do dance quite a bit of this Viennese waltz in hold. And the Viennese waltz is always beautiful, so is the story of “Up”—so they have a lot going for them in this dance. 

So many balloons, though. Len would not be pleased.

Carrie Ann: “Jeannie? What’s going on? You’re great as a little old lady! You’re like adorable. You’re smooth, you found your pace. As a partnership, the balance is incredible.” Derek: “The first 10 minutes of “Up” is the most heart-wrenching I’ve ever seen. But this was beautiful. You breathed through the movement. Your frame was fantastic. Honestly, your best performance.” Bruno: “You really have captured the essence of the film. It was pure storytelling. That’s what a performance art is all about.” 

JUDGES: 22 (out of 30)

Jeannie, in her excitement, stole Bruno’s “8” paddle. Tyra got it back for him.

Daniella and Nelly, foxtrot (“Soul”)

At this point, “Soul” hadn’t been released to the general public yet, so Nelly and Daniella go to a special screening (aka just for them). They dance to the song “Follow Your Dreams,” and Nelly talks about how he followed his.

Lovcd their costumes.

Derek: “I thought it was more than alright. I thought it was great. This is your first ballroom dance. I wasn’t sure what to expect. But you came in here, you got that frame moving, it was smooth. BTW, I’m starting to like these shoes.” Bruno: “Charming. And you behaved like a real gentleman with your lady. For the first time this season, we saw a proper, slow foxtrot, which is so hard to do, so difficult.” Carrie Ann: “There’s a naturalness to you that is really enjoyable to watch. The next step I wanna see from you is a breakout. It’s all a little safe, but now you know you’re good in the ballroom.”

JUDGES: 18 (out of 30)

Pasha and Carole, samba (“The Lion King”)

Poor Pasha. They’ve got him dancing to every cat/tiger/lion song around, dressed up in the hokiest costumes. But what a trooper! They actually do/attempt samba rolls!

Bruno: “I am stunned. I have never ever seen a samba like this one. If you were dancing with the Brooklyn Bridge, you could get more bounce. You just walked through it. Samba needs life, bounce and energy.” Carrie Ann: “You look beautiful. What I noticed about your dancing is that you danced that dance with a lot of love. I could feel it. You’re very tender. You have of the most beautiful hands when you dance. However, the samba is much more than those things. And it was lacking most of the other things. I really want to salute you for the love that you put into that dance.” Derek: “Thank you for loving big cats and taking care of them. Also, a 10 for costume and makeup. The dancing—there wasn’t a lot of bounce, there wasn’t a lot of rhythm, which is what samba is.”

JUDGES: 12 (out of 30)

Artem and Kaitlyn, rumba (“Moana”)

This song has been danced to on many a Disney Night, but I don’t think ever as a rumba. For me, it was a bit fast for a rumba. But it was nice. She is clearly dancing barefoot because of her injury from last week.

Carrie Ann: “OK, so for me, so far, best dance of the night by miles. That was so good. The way you brought together the elements of Hawaiian, dancing barefoot, as we would do for the hula. It had the essence of the rumba. You just brought it all together. You told the story. I was elated watching it.” Derek: “You are a beautiful dancer. Such fluidity in your movements. So lyrical. I kinda disagree a little bit though. It’s a rumba.” Bruno: “You really reminded me of the shape of water. Breaking waves, a wonderful swell, continuous movement. Total flow. It was wonderful.”

JUDGES: 23 (out of 30)

Can I just remark about how sullen and boring Tyra’s comments are? Ugh.

Peta and Vernon, quickstep (“Beauty and the Beast”)

Here’s another song that they do every Disney Night (it seems)… “Be Our Guest” from “Beauty and the Beast.” Vernon is not exactly happy that he’s the Candlestick, instead of being the Beast.

Derek: “Real men play candlesticks. You’re radiating so much joy when you dance. I just love watching you dance. I really enjoyed it.” Bruno: “You had such light and easy action. You exude confidence. You were connecting with her, you were connecting with us. And much lighter on your feet.” Carrie Ann: “What is amazing is that you guys have found your balance in the partnership. You slowed down your energy to meet Peta perfectly. What you created out there was one of my favorite dances of the night. I loved it. It was happiness.”

JUDGES: 22 (out of 30)

Jenna and Nev, Argentine tango (“Pirates of the Caribbean”)

This is another oldie but goodie that is always trotted out during Disney Week/Night. Sometimes it’s a paso doble. Here, it’s an Argentine tango. Jenna has them both playing pirates, which gives it a jaunty spin.

Bruno: “What’ve we got here? The Pirates of Argentina! You managed to maintain the slightly camp, inebriated mannerism, yet you maintained the Argentine tango all the way through. The footwork, the ganchos, everything was there. I loved it.” Carrie Ann: “I really loved the way you were able to balance out from character back in. I also appreciated that your lifts were appropriate, and you didn’t hide behind doing lifts, because a lot of people do that once they get to the Argentine tango.” Derek: “Now we’re cooking with some hot sauce, baby! That was so good. Really, really really strong. I loved the embrace. I loved the ganchos, all the footwork. And of course, the character: you nailed it, brother.”

JUDGES: 24 (out of 30)

Britt and Johnny, rumba (“Mulan”)

 Britt is just fantastic, but there wasn’t much body contact for a rumba. Still, I really liked it a lot.

Carrie Ann: “I believe in you so much that tonight watching you dance like that felt so good, because I saw you make the transition from being an ice skater to a ballroom Latin dancer. You’re using your feet, you’re using the floor. It was epic.” Derek: “That was beautiful. Your arms, your lines. You arrived on a straight leg.” Bruno: “Johnny, as always, your shapes, your extensions are exquisite. What I really really loved, I was really impressed, is that you started to project emotion. I could read that you were actually playing a character. Keep on that way.”

JUDGES: 24 (out of 30)

Sharna and Jesse, jive (“Newsies”)

Way fun dance. Great kicks and flicks, IMHO.

Derek: “First of all,  I love me some “Newsies.”  I feel like you didn’t feel as comfortable with this routine, timing-wise. There was definitely a moment when you got ahead of the music. For me, I didn’t really feel this one as much from you.” Bruno: “I felt it big time. I did. You actually played the role brilliantly. I thought your footwork was very very light. Very nimble. But you were moving much much better than you every have.” Carrie Ann: “I agree with Bruno. I think you told the story beautifully. But I also agree with Derek. Your musicality was less than favorable. You have got to tap into the music, deep in your soul. You were like surface floating over the music. And that doesn’t allow us to connect with you, and what you’re doing.”

JUDGES: 20 (out of 30)

Gleb and Chrishell, waltz (“Cinderella”)

The costumes are stunning. Luckily, they hide her feet a lot. They are waltzing to “A Dream Is a Wish Your Heart Makes” from “Cinderella.”

Bruno: “The belle of the ball. Gorgeous. You really look like the ultimate Disney princess. I could feel the romance unfolding.” Carrie Ann: “Princess Carrie Ann approves of Princess Chrishell. You were together. Together, you guys are stunning. Work on your shoulders.” Derek: “You guys are absolutely stunning. A beautiful dance.”

JUDGES: 22 (out of 30)

So who’s going home on Disney Night?

The bottom of the leader board is Carole and Pasha, with Anne and Keo above them.

So who’s the bottom two? The very same.

Going home?

Darn! All those cat songs they’ll never get to! :-(

MICHE’s Favorites of Disney Week

1. Jenna and Nev, Argentine tango

2. Sasha and Justina, Charleston

3. Val and Monica, Viennese waltz

4.Sharna and Jesse, jive

5. Britt and Johnny, rumba

6. Artem and Kaitlyn, rumba

7. Cheryl and AJ, quickstep

8. Daniella and Nelly, foxtrot

9. Brandon and Jeannie, Viennese waltz 

10. Pasha and Carole, samba

11. Gleb and Chrishell, waltz

12. Peta and Vernon, quickstep

Go Home Already!

1. Anne Heche and Keo, quickstep

2. Skai and Alan, jive (every cutaway to Skai during the show, she looked so very bored…)

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