DWTS Week 5: This Disney Night a Misfire

Allison and Riker. Rumer and Val. Disney Week.

Oh, we were so spoiled with past seasons of Disney night. Who could forget Charlie and Sharna's amazing Mary Poppins dance? Or Val C's Be My Guest? *swoon* Those will long live in memory.

Nothing like that this year, sadly. In fact, everyone seemed to be misfiring this week. From just OK to cringe-inducing.

Of the dancers I liked best, it's the usual suspects for me. I love Rumer and Val forever for getting first choice at a Frozen number, and snarkily remarking, "Nah, let Nastia and Derek do that." (And they did.)

Mark Ballas, always a stunner (all season long especially) performed my least favorite of his dances this season, in a mask in which he couldn't breathe through his nose. (Fun!)

Lots of stagecraft and hooha in this one (as per usual for him this season), but this dance didn't wow me. Just something creepy about a white rabbit and a young girl... dunno...

Val and Rumer opted for a villanness instead of a Disney princess (points for them). Quite entertaining to see those samba rolls with an evil character. It was fun, but also my least favorite of their dances so far.

Really the one rollicking number which swept me out of my cynicism for all things Disney was seeing Riker as Jack Sparrow in a Pirates number. A paso doble, stunningly (as usual) choreographed by Allison Holker.

This one was swashbuckling and fast-moving, and I just loved it. My favorite number of the night.

Sharna and Noah did a foxtrot to Aladdin, as you can see.

Chris and Witney did a quickstep. He was in Grecian attire. I'll spare you the visual, though her hair was stunning.

Robert and Kym did a pretty dreadful Mary Poppins tune, and they are now in the category of "soon to be voted out" contenders.

Just gets worse and worse. Patti and Artem. Blech. Suzanne and Tony did a Lady and the Tramp thing. Ugh.

Thankfully, Suzanne was voted out this week, though I'll miss Tony's dances.

He really does great work on this show, but his partners...ugh...

Oh yeah, and that Frozen number? Ugh. By far my least favorite of Derek's dances, maybe ever.

Hokey, manipulative, cringe-inducing. Blech blech blech. Totally lip-synched to the Frozen song. Hated it so much.

Bring on next week, and Team dances! Oh yeah. Derek's team ALWAYS wins. Course, this year, I believe both Val C and Allison are on the other team... so we shall see...

MICHE'S FAVORITES OF WEEK 5, DISNEY NIGHT

1. Allison and Riker (paso doble)

2. Valentin and Rumer (samba)

3. Mark and Willow (foxtrot)

4. Derek and Nastia ("jazz")

PLEASE GO AWAY NOW

1. Patti LaBelle

2. Robert

3. Chris

4. Nastia

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