|Allison and Riker. Week 3. Courtesy of ABC.|
Here's how it's supposed to work, "celebrities": You sign up for the show, you devote every waking hour that you have to getting this complicated choreography right. You dream about these dances, and how you can make them better by doing better. EVERYTHING ELSE in your sorry life gets put on hold.
That's how it works. Too many people "go on Dancing with the Stars" because they think it's a thing... something that would look good on their resume. Something they can squeeze in between all the other things they really want to be doing. WELL, STOP IT.
Or, like our besotted Charlotte this week, who couldn't concentrate because of all the modeling offers she was now fielding, YOU GET VOTED OFF. Or, maybe she knew she couldn't dance a lick and just wanted to get the heck out of there, once she realized how darn hard it actually was going to be. Either way, I'm glad she's gone. I couldn't applaud fast enough for the exit of that talk show host last season who couldn't be bothered to actually learn the steps. UGH.
So, Charlotte's gone. Boo hoo. (Props to Costumes for Charlotte's amazing outfit.)
|Keo and Charlotte. Courtesy of ABC.|
This is a woman who made her fame for eating a burger in skimpy clothes. She's a model with big boobs, and that's pretty much all she'll ever be. Sorry, but that is the truth.
And I'm glad she's gone.
Next, on Miche's mode of irritation this week, we have the other celebrities. Not that I have anything against older people in general. I am one. But I don't go on DWTS either.
Older celebrities who need to go, and soon, are Suzanne Somers and Patti LaBelle.
Mind you, Tony Dovolani is wonderful, and he seems singularly focused on whoever his celebrity is, and I do love him for that. However, when you have celebs doing backflips and somersaults, it's hard for a 70-year-old to compete. It just is. Sorry, Tony.
Love Miss Patti LaBelle's singing. Wonderful. As a dancer, she looks like she can barely walk across the room, much less dance. She shot down Artem's idea of lifting her anywhere. All of that makes for some limiting movements.
|Artem suffering through this nonsense with Patti LaBelle. Courtesy of ABC.|
They do know, these celebrities, that going on Dancing with the Stars involves, um, you know... DANCING? Right? *sigh*
So, psst... Chris, the Bachelor? Come over here a minute... let me whisper this in your ear. If you want to hang on until the middle of the season, try to just put forth a minimal effort to keep you in the pack. They have to get rid of all this deadweight, and that's going to take a minute. And if you keep doing dances like this Argentine tango you did, you can really hang on, even though you really can't dance a lick either.
|Chris and Witney. Courtesy of ABC.|
|Valentin Chmerkovskiy and Rumer Willis. Courtesy of ABC.|
Which, of course, they aced. So they are pretty much still far ahead of everyone else.
Well, except for this.
Riker and Allison (who also inexplicably threw an Aztec theme in there) did this amazing salsa. Just incredible. Just worlds of precision and technique away from whatever the hell it was Patti LaBelle was trying to do out there.
Loved their dance, packed full of salsa content. Modern and unique choreography. Stunning.
Then we had Art Piece Number 3, aka Mark Ballas and Willow Shields.
|Mark Ballas and Willow Shields. Courtesy of ABC.|
Noah and Sharna continue to surprise. Their package talked all about how they practiced with a prosthetic arm, which they finally opted not to use.
|Noah and Sharna do an Argentine tango. Courtesy of ABC.|
Lastly, we get full-circle to Derek and Nastia. I was on a tear at the beginning of this post about people who choose to do other things rather than devoting themselves full-time to the season. However, we all know that Derek could just about sleepwalk through the season and still end up in the finals. He has "10 shows a week," on Broadway. She has classes at NYU. They fly back and forth every week to tape the show. Sorry, but I am kinda rooting for them to lose (given all I said in the beginning). But being Derek, I do think he's going to get pretty far along anyway.
MICHE'S FAVORITES OF WEEK 3, SEASON 20 (Latin Night)
1. Allison and Riker (salsa)
2. Valentin and Rumer (disco salsa)
3. Sharna and Noah (Argentine tango)
4. Mark and Willow (paso doble)
5. Derek and Nastia (samba)
COUPLES I WISH WOULD GO HOME RIGHT NOW
1. Patti and Artem
2. Suzanne and Tony
3. Michael and Peta
4. Chris and Witney