Season 28 ended on November 25, 2019. In a perfect world, there would have been a Dancing with the Stars tour, followed by a new spring season. But, as we all know, in March 2020, COVID-19 hit.
Luckily, our beloved #DWTS soldiered on with Season 29 starting September 14, 2020. But many things changed, many of which I still sob into my pillow about today. Namely (for reasons I STILL don’t understand), they got rid of Tom Bergeron and Erin Andrews (*sob*) and replaced our beloved hosts with Tyra Banks, for God’s sake. I still think that decision was very wrong, and awkwardly implemented (back when they also booted our dear Chris Harrison from The Bachelor/Bachelorette for no apparent reason, without so much as a How-de-do). Networks. #SMH As a longtime fan of both shows, believe me when I tell you that Tyra Banks does NOT equal Tom and Erin, and Jesse Palmer does NOT in any way equal Chris Harrison. BOTH of the former sets of hosts were doing FINE jobs. I could go on about this for days. I am seriously gutted by these lame decisions.
But let’s move on, shall we? What else has changed with COVID? There is no more Skybox or backstage area where Erin chatted with people. :-( There is (because of COVID) also no audience. :-0 Now, I don’t know if you remember, but in Season 28, the audience was RAUCOUS. And now, the dancers are dancing to silence. Very disconcerting for an audience member. It must be very disconcerting to the dancers too.
The beloved opening number on this first show consisted of Tyra getting out of a car, and the rest of the pros, dancing individually. (As you can see by Val Chmerkovskiy, above.)
I’m going to be getting on my “I HATE TYRA” soapbox as long as she’s up there, so get used to it. She’s just terrible. But the worst offense that she added to the show, mind you, this is a show ABOUT DANCE. All that matters are the dancers and the dances. Tom and Erin were there to facilitate that, and move it all along, with a joke here or there. Tyra does none of that, and she’s added some nonsense about gowns she’s wearing with each show. I hate this unnecessary focus on her, and what does #DWTS have to do with dresses? Nothing. UGH.
Also, because COVID trapped him in England, our esteemed judge Len Goodman is not here. In his place, we have Derek Hough. OK. That’s not a bad change (although I do miss Len). It’s not easy to notice from this angle, but there is actually six feet between each judge.
Each “star” is introduced individually, without their partners.
Finally the show actually starts.
The first pair is introduced. Just seeing them together makes me smile (I love them both so much):
CHERYL BURKE AND AJ MCLEAN (Backstreet Boys), jive
AJ jumps over the four stairs, and falls down. Other than that, his kicks and flicks in this jive are completely on point and wonderful. They are #TeamPrettyMessedUp LOL
Loved that dance.
Not that anyone cares, but Tyra has changed out of her voluminous dress.
Derek: “AJ, first of all, great start to the show. Shot right out of a cannon. For me, I want a little bit more pump action, a little bit more jive action, bounce. I really like that you feel comfortable out there. I like it. Great partnership.” (Agreed.) Bruno: “Powerful, strong. We expect that from you, you’re a performer. No questions. Now, you have to polish a little bit the kicks and the flicks. It looks the same. There is a difference between a kick and a flick. Listen to her. You have all the talent to go a long way.” Carrie Ann: “That is exactly the way we needed to start off this season. There’s no one in here, so you have to be all the energy. That being said, I think you could dance a little more out. I know that learning the transition to ballroom and Latin is hard, and you start to go smaller, cause you worry about the technique—it needs to be bigger than ever, especially this season.”
JUDGES: 18 (out of 30)
Gleb and Chrishell Stause (“Selling Sunset”), tango
This one was a bit awkward for me. Nice costumes, and Gleb’s trying, but Chrishell doesn’t seem like a natural to this. #TeamSellingIt
Bruno: “I know you can sell. And you manage to get the tango into escrow, but we’re a long way before we are closing, my darling. You gave us all the selling points, but you went wrong, you lost your footing, your posture went all wobbly. I wish you could do it again. Lots of mistakes.” (There were some boos. I have no idea where they were coming from.) Carrie Ann: “The little audience is yelling at us already. I feel like you have so much potential. I saw when you hit the line, you hit it beautifully, but you just got knocked off your feet early on. You just didn’t get your feet back under you. You have lots of potential, and I’m excited to see what you’re gonna bring next week.” Derek: “I wanna give you something that you’re gonna work on throughout this season. You are a little pigeon-toed. So everything you do is a little inward. That affects everything. Start from the bottom, keep those turned out. It’ll strengthen your core, your frame.”
JUDGES: 13 (out of 30)
PETA AND VERNON DAVIS, foxtrot
That was a beautiful foxtrot, though the lights are kinda glaring. Peta’s choreography is stunning. #TeamDavisIsDancing
Carrie Ann: “That was really impressive. You have quite a stage presence. You’re able to mix a tenderness and an elegance, yet with a masculine control. I felt like Peta was under your control. Now, you have a little to learn. We don’t allow lifts, so when you did that drag around, try to keep Peta’s foot on the ground. I am gonna dock a point.” (Tyra, who apparently doesn’t really watch the show, didn’t know about the “no lifts” thing.) Derek: “Vernon, you were so smooth. It was like gliding across the floor. I was so honestly surprised. It was beautiful. Your frame was good. Think of the whole picture.” Bruno: “You got it to the sizzling point. God knows what’s gonna happen with the rumba. I’ll need an ice bucket. The chemistry was sizzling. Very light, very stylish. You attempted to do rise and fall. Congratulations for that.”
JUDGES: 17 (out of 30)
Oh wow. I’m sorry all. I forgot Anne Heche was in this season. :-(
Keo and Anne Heche, cha cha
To my eyes, that was a hot mess. #TeamAK
Derek: “Anne, you make me smile. As soon as you started, I was: ‘I like this.’ For future, think about finishing every single move before you move to the next. Otherwise, it can look a little jerky sometimes.” Bruno: “My love, you’re such a sparkling crackler, aren’t you? So full of zest. Put more hip action into it.” Carrie Ann: “I love your strength. It was so precise. What I was so impressed with was the tension between you two. What an excellent partnership. You were never thrown off. You are a star of this ballroom.”
JUDGES: 18 (out of 30)
BRANDON and JEANNIE MAI, (“Holy Moley” and “The Real”) salsa
Great music really goes a long way on the first night (“Tell It To My Heart”). A very serviceable salsa.
Bruno: “So energizing, so radiant. Look at you, a little ray of sunshine. You really got the spirit of the dance. You lost balance for a tiny fraction.” Carrie Ann: “You lit this room up. If this is where you’re starting, you’re on a fantastic path.” Derek: “Holy moley. Doing that lift, Week 1? Good start.”
JUDGES: 18 (out of 30)
Sharna and Jesse Metcalfe (“Desperate Housewives”), quickstep
“Part-Time Lover” is also a good song for this quickstep. Wonderful to see Sharna on the ballroom floor again, with her pink-tinged hair. Love her. They are a good partnership. Fun dance. They get a spray of confetti at the end.
#TeamAllIn
Carrie Ann: Carrie Ann welcomes Sharna back as well. Carrie Ann also tries to ignore Tyra not really knowing what’s going on, and plunges ahead. “Jesse, that was one of the most passionate quicksteps I’ve ever seen. I do think we need to tame the beast a little bit. You’re a little wild, but the intensity is right. We need a little bi more posture, and a little bit more form.” (I’m ignoring Tyra’s nonsense here.) Derek: “Jesse, that was great. You’re a leading man in the ballroom and the dance floor.” Bruno: “This dance, very tricky to do Week 1. You did well.”
JUDGES: 18 (out of 30)
Alan and “Disney Channel star” Skai Jackson, tango
Skai Jackson is no Zendaya. I don’t really like when they have 18-year-old competitors. But the costumes were great (and the sets). Hated the music.
#TeamReachForTheSkai
Derek: “First of all, that split? Let’s go. Flexibility! Your posture is beautiful. I’d have liked to have seen more bend in the legs.” Bruno: “Skai, for you, the sky is the limit. For a young girl like you, giving such a mature performance, on Week 1. The shapes were fantastic.” Carrie Ann: “What you did so well is you coped with the height difference. If you can adapt your hold right now, you’re on such a great side. That was a beautiful and exciting performance.”
JUDGES: 21 (out of 30) *overscored*
Then, we get to see a preview (reminder) of the (trainwreck) Clare season of “The Bachelorette.” #UGH
Followed by a commercial for “Jeopardy” that still had Alex Trebek in it. *sobs*
Artem and (“Bachelorette”) Kaitlyn Bristowe, cha cha
Unlike Hannah Brown, whom I loathe, Kaitlyn Bristowe can do no wrong. Love her.
#TeamWillYouAcceptThisDance
Kaitlyn says she’s “in it to win it.” When all else fails, add a lot of fringe to the costume in Week 1. Seriously, it was a fun dance. Both Artem and Kaitlyn look so glad to be there.
Bruno: “Artem! Nice to see you back where you belong. What a cha cha cha. You’ve really got her going on the toe on Week 1? C’mon! It was so good.” Carrie Ann: “A great first dance. The energy’s so great, the arms are wonderful.” Derek: “Great first dance. Beautiful cha cha. You have a lot of potential. The arms are beautiful, but just placed, not hit. The dancing, in general, was a little safe. Looking forward, more bite, more attack.”
JUDGES: 20 ( out of 30)
Jenna and Nev (“Catfish”) Shulman, foxtrot
Jenna just looks stunning. The song is fantastic. (“The Way You Look Tonight”)
#TeamBeNeevers
Carrie Ann: “The world needs a little bit more of Nev. You guys, that was incredible. So uplifting, so refined, you took us back into that era. It just transported us.” Derek: “My man, you are a great dancer. It was so pleasant to watch. It was wonderful.” Bruno: “I loved the way you went down the classic Hollywood style. You acted it beautiful.”
JUDGES: 20 (out of 30)
For inexplicable reasons, Len pops in from across the pond to say everyone’s doing great (even though it’s a live show and he can’t possibly see it…)
Britt and Johnny Weir, cha cha
This is the wondrous Britt’s first season as a pro! (Long overdue…) Wonderful seeing these two together. I loved it.
#TeamBrijo
Derek graciously welcomes Britt “as a new pro. Johnny, great job. Great first dance. Stay consistently Johnny. Sometimes I could see you thinking when it gets to the technical stuff. Stay confident.” Bruno: “Johnny, great opening. You have a wonderful lyrical quality. You feel the music through the body. In the cha cha cha, you need to be a bit sharper. You have to get the hips right.” Carrie Ann: “You shoulda been on this show years ago. This is the perfect place for Johnny Weir. Johnny Weir, Dancing With the Stars is heaven. Stay connected. You guys are partners. Stay connected the whole way through.”
JUDGES: 18 (out of 30)
Sasha and Justina Machado, cha cha
I mean! Starting out a cha cha to Aretha Franklin’s “Respect,” c’mon! The only thing as good as the music choice is that Justina is paired with Sasha!!!!! This is going to be a great season.She is definitely shaking her groove thing here. Wow! Loved this so very much. Great costumes too.
#TeamLOCOmotion
Bruno: “Respect? You got it, baby. Fully charged and ready to dazzle. The confidence, the musicality, the rhythm. Tu es una chica marvallosa.” Carrie Ann: “Muy caliente! You are on fire. Thank you for dancing like that. You just got me out of our seats, and I’m sure you got everybody at home dancing with you.” Derek: “Justina, you are oozing charisma. You filled this room with so much energy, so much power. Great dance.”
JUDGES: 21 ( out of 30)
Emma and Charles Oakley, salsa
A bit of a height difference between these two. Great costumes and sets though. Danced to that “Shorty, It’s Your Birthday” song.
#TeamOakieDokie
Carrie Ann: “The good news is this isn’t your last dance. But the bad news is that I need you to listen to the music a little bit more. You were ahead of the music the whole time. Fill the space.” Derek: “Massive respect for you, my man. I felt joy, the enjoyment of what I saw and that goes a long way. You need to work on the technique.” Bruno: “You got into the spirit of it, your own way. Laid-back, cool, just a teaser. Put a lot more extra chili in it.”
JUDGES: 12 (out of 30)
Val and Monica (“Cheer”) Aldama, foxtrot
Val Chmerkovskiy can make anything look magical. This dance was beautiful. The costumes are gorgeous, the sets are stunning.
#TeamValdama
Derek: “Monica, beautiful, graceful. So pleasant to watch. A breath of fresh air. Beautiful frame.” Bruno: “Wonderfully elegant, stylish. It looked exactly as a foxtrot should. Foxtrot, very difficult. First time, well-done.” Carrie Ann: “It’s a tough dance, but…it’s a hard transition to go from the mat to the wood. But you went for it. I could tell it felt good for you.”
JUDGES: 19 (out of 30)
Daniella and Nelly, salsa
Nelly and Daniella, who loves his music. Boy, this is gonna be fun. They start out their first number on a motorcycle. And dance salsa to one of Nelly’s songs.
#TeamDaNelly
Daniella, wife of Pasha, is a new pro (sorta) this season. She was here last season, but without a partner.
Bruno: “Daniella! You’ve got your first partner, and thank you for taking it in such a wonderful ride. The connection between you two, the interplay was so much fun. Nicely rhythymical, very grounded.” Carrie Ann: “Where did the backflip come from? I did not expect that or see that coming. Way to get us all going.Your groove is right. No one else has that here tonight. But you gotta open up. This kinda dancing is all about opening up and exposing your heart.” Derek: “Nelly, sneakers? It’s appropriate for this dance, but ballroom shoes are there to help you articulate your feet.”
JUDGES: 16 (out of 30)
Pasha and Carole (“Tiger King”) Baskin, paso doble
Dancing a paso doble to “Eye of the Tiger,” (Of course) these two are quite a spectacle. Pasha gets bonus points for balls today. There aren’t even words to describe this, but put it in the category of worst Dancing with the Stars dancers ever.
#TeamAreYouKittenMe
Carrie Ann: “Here I am, standing in front of the ultimate crazy cat lady. I love you, and I love the connection you guys have when you dance. Carole Baskin just danced the paso doble to “Eye of the Tiger,” everyone! Carole, what I love most is that you did not hold back. You went full out. This is very new for you. That was fantastic. I really enjoyed it.” Derek: “Carole Baskin. You danced that paso! You smashed it. Let’s go. I see you. I commend you for being out here, dancing. You’re here, you’re doing it.” Bruno: “I call it as I see it. For me, you didn’t quite kill the paso doble. It was kind of sedated. It had the resemblance of it, but I want to hear you roar. It didn’t pop the way it should. But I’m sure you’re back next week.”
JUDGES: 11 (out of 30)
No one goes home this week.
MICHE’s Favorites of Week 1
1. Sasha and Justina, cha cha
2. Val and Monica, foxtrot
3. Cheryl and AJ, jive
4. Sharna and Jesse, quickstep
5. Artem and Kaitlyn, cha cha
6. Daniella and Nelly, salsa
7. Jenna and Nev, foxtrot
8. Britt and Johnny, cha cha
9. Brandon and Jeannie, salsa
10. Peta and Vernon, foxtrot
11. Emma and Charles, salsa
12. Alan and Skai, tango
NEEDS TO GO HOME
1. Carole Baskin
2. Anne Heche
3. Chrishell
4. Charles Oakley
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