Season 30, Week Three: It’s Britney Night and Covid Hits One More Time

Last week, as you may remember, Cheryl got Covid, and they did their dance from rehearsal tape. This week, her partner Cody got Covid, so they are again dancing remotely. Also, judge Derek Hough is sitting this one out, “in an abundance of caution.”

Alan and Amanda, cha cha

They dance to something called “Circus” that I’ve never heard of. She does have great legs, and uses them to do amazing splits.

Len: “I was intrigued to find out how you would cope with Latin American dances, because you’ve done ballroom dancing up until now. And I must say, you coped very well. There’s a few dances on this show that I almost know what I’m going to get. There’s nothing spontaneous. And with you, it’s always clean, it’s clear, but it doesn’t really excite me. I wanna get excited.” Bruno: “What a show! What a cha cha cha! First Latin, and you have a hit. You ooze star quality. Those legs, I’m telling you, they are a weapon to be reckoned with.” Carrie Ann: “You are stunning. Normally we don’t use that word for a cha cha, but you are stunning. What I loved about it most was that it was clean, it was sharp, it was elegant. You obviously worked on your technique. But what is lacking, I think, is your posture.”

JUDGES: 24 (Out of 30)

Daniella and Iman, tango

Nice choreeography, as usual, by Daniella. They tango to “Piece of Me.” The height thing, man, whoa! But they work around it nicely.

Bruno: “That was a nice, solid piece of tango. I really appreciate the fact that you are really concentrating on getting the right move. You even tried heel leads. You were in control. You tried to keep your frame. You have to try now to make it a little bit smoother. Drive it through smoothly.” Carrie Ann: “Iman, I did not expect that today. No offense. You know I’m a fan. The way you toned down your steps to match Daniella is so impressive. It’s so hard to do. Your height difference is unbelievable. No one would ever put you guys together in the real world of ballroom dance.” Len: “Unlike Amanda, I’m never sure what’s gonna turn up. Sometimes I think WOW, sometimes not so much. I could see you were trying to work your feet, but they weren’t always fantastic. Let me say: your feet are a long way from your heart, and you always come out and give it your all.”

JUDGES: 19 (Out of 30)

Pasha and Christine, paso doble

Pasha and Christine dance to “Stronger.” I really enjoyed this paso. And the costumes!

Carrie Ann: “Christine, yay! I’m so glad we saved you to see you have this moment. You were fighting for that moment. You were fighting for every step. Your shaping is beautiful. You have such flexibility. You have control. You have everything that it takes to win this competition, and tonight you showed us that you are on your way, girl.” Len: “I was so shocked that you were in the Bottom Two last week. I could not understand it. I’m so glad you’ve come back, because you’ve danced a really clean, crisp, plenty of energy paso doble. It was terrific.” Bruno: “I love it, Christine, when you’re tough. You were in charge of the paso doble. Go for it, honey.”

JUDGES: 21 (Out of 30)

Jenna and JoJo, Argentine tango

Wow! This dance to “Hit Me One More Time” was amazing. They are incredible together.

Len: “It was an extremely well-crafted routine. I liked the lifts, because they were part of the flow of the dance. It had a little bit too much staccato. It looked like a ballroom tango in places. It didn’t have that sort of oozing as that you see in the Argentine tango. Having said that, you can’t make a bad performance. You’re always right on point.” Bruno: “JoJo, you know how to hit it. She goes straight for the bullseye every time. The way she pitches the performance is always the right side of sexy. So titillating. She works the camera like no others.” Carrie Ann: “What I love about you is you’re like liquid sunshine. When you dance, there’s something very powerful about you that’s also so approachable. The most impressive thing that I watched is when you lead. You lead with clarity and intention. It’s so easy to watch. The guys should be watching that too.”

JUDGES: 24 (Out of 30)

Brandon and Kennya, tango

Her dress was gorgeous, but what’s up with that jacket of his? Bizarre. They dance to “Womanizer.” I liked this tango a lot.

Bruno: “My love, you’re back on track! What a good tango that was! It was gliding across the floor beautifully. I never felt like you were pushed by Brandon. You were right up with him. Such poise. Such elegance. That was so chic. I loved it.” Carrie Ann: “It was so chic. It was beautiful. You are so giving supermodel vibes tonight. You’re just so refined and elegant and so strong in your center. That was amazing.” Len: “Your hold was a little bit loose at times. You did lack a little bit of body contact. However, you captured the flavor of the dance, and you moved well around the floor.”

JUDGES: 21 (Out of 30)

Sharna and Brian, tango

In their package, he explains to her the extent of the fame of his show, “Beverly Hills 90210.” “Oh, that’s how famous you were,” she intones. LOL Yeah, he was damn famous. Even more famous than she is now. Pretty funny.

I loved this tango. One of the few where you can really feel the passion between the two dancers. The costumes are fire, too.

Carrie Ann: “Whoa, fire. You have finally arrived in the ballroom, my friend. Now you’re serious. That was serious dancing. I’m very appreciative of the hold and the body contact. It was amazing. I’m so proud of you. Fantastic.” Len: “Your frame was overall good. It was nice. Your body contact was there. Your footwork was pretty poor, actually. But I must say, it was a spirited effort.” Bruno: “He’s right. The footwork. You really have to work on that. You can have all the right intentions, but we are getting toward the middle of the season. You really have to perfect that.”

JUDGES: 19 (Out of 30)

Artem and Melora, cha cha

Melora and Artem dance to Britney’s “Crazy,” and it looks like he was driving her crazy in rehearsal. But she’s a trouper. And she’s here to show you that Amanda isn’t the only one with great legs! Love her costume and her hair.

Len: “That’s the Artem I know and love that gives me a full-on cha cha cha. And that had so much more hip action. It was a great performance.” Bruno: “Wow! Melora, what’s going on? Nothing will contain my excitement. It’s like a veil has been lifted. And I’m actually seeing you in full focus for the first time. You got it, honey.” Carrie Ann: “Melora, at this stage of the game, everybody is starting to stand out for different reasons. What’s so special about you is you make this look easy and natural, when you know it’s nothing but. Somehow you’re able to add light and shade, and you’re not so stiff and tense. That is spectacular.”

JUDGES: 23 (Out of 30)

Gleb and Melanie C., tango

So she’s the flight attendant and he’s the friendly skies? LOL

They dance to Britney’s “Toxic.” Have I mentioned that this season they have all the stars and pros on the sidelines, with drinks and stuff, in little tables? I think they also have their friends and families in a special VIP area with drinks. 

Bruno: “Very impressive cockpit. You were flying high on that tango. And the service? Come on. First-class all the way.” Carrie Ann: “It was so filled with content. That was a hard piece of choreography to learn, and I’m so impressed. Your legs are great, your lines are great.” Len: “Well, it was a bit stop-start. At the end I liked it much more. It took awhile to get cracking. Once you got into the dance, you get into hold, you do a little bit, then you break hold. So it had a jerkiness. Once you got near the end, it was really good. But the bottom line: you are a terrific dancer.”

JUDGES: 22 (Out of 30)

Emma and Jimmie, salsa

They dance to “Outrageous.” Emma’s choreography is pretty amazing. Lots of lifts, beautifully done.

Carrie Ann: “Well Jimmie, first of all, real men do cry. So don’t worry about that. It just shows you’re sensitive. As far as the dance goes, the lifts were super rough. The last one, you nailed.” Len: “Well, I liked the nice easy action of it. It had rhythm all the time. Sometimes your steps were a little bit big. The last lift I didn’t think was in character with the dance, the other ones were a little bit dodgy.” Bruno: “They must’ve been watching another show. Don’t you worry. Because I saw when you let loose, it all flows beautifully. The rhythm, the hips, it was going brilliantly. So listen to reason. And listen to me, that was good.”

JUDGES: 20 (Out of 30)

Val and Olivia, tango

They dance to “Hold It Against Me.” Best tango of the night, also best choreography. Val just creates magic week after week. Amazing tango.

Len: “Listen! Listen to the noise, Val. That was a proper tango. No messing about at the start. Straight into the dance. Full of staccato, full of attack. You pros: THIS is what I wanna see. Not messing about, I want full-on dancing.” Bruno: “You were on it, like a bonnet. I can’t believe it. What I really love about Dancing with the Stars is moments like this, when you see people transforming, in front of your eyes. And you, Olivia, have become a beautiful dancer.” Carrie Ann: “Olivia, you are truly blossoming. That was so far the best dance of the night, as far as I’m concerned. It was fantastic. You are graceful, you are elegant, and you are strong, and you are passionate. All of it together.”

JUDGES: 24 (Out of 30)

Cheryl and Cody, jazz

This week, Cody has Covid. And they are not performing from rehearsal tape, they are performing live on the show, but remotely from their respective homes. It helps that Cody is a Britney super fan. 

As you can see, this time, they both have costumes and makeup.

And given the constraints, I thought it was wonderful.

Bruno: “I really admire the perseverance and the commitment, in spite of it all. I wish you were here. I know you have the ability. It’s very difficult to judge, especially the sync. It’s a very good effort.” Carrie Ann: “Bravo to both of you for dancing with Covid. I know Covid is no joke. So I’m very impressed with both of you. Look, we have to judge it from what we have in this ballroom. And did that compare? Not quite. The truth is, it wasn’t as great as I know you can be. And that’s disappointing. But I’m glad you finally had your Britney moment.” Len: “Well, these are strange times. And they throw out strange scenarios. I wasn’t sure how this would work. I must say: I thought you were clear and tight together. I know it’s difficult, but where you could, you got that little interchange going, with the hat and so on. I thought for the circumstances, you did a terrific job.”

JUDGES: 18 (Out of 30)

Sasha and Suni, foxtrot

They are dancing to “I’m a Slave for You,” and Sasha is the snake. Hahahaha

Carrie Ann: “OK. You’re definitely pushing your boundaries, I can tell you’re going past what’s comfortable with a routine like this. I sense a little bit of discomfort, doing some of the more sensual moves. What I want you to know is that performing like that, you can be innocent and still sensual. And still exude your confidence. And that’s what we’re looking for. I’m very proud of you.” Len: “Not so much for me. You didn’t capture the foxtrot. It’s a romantic dance. This, this was a little bit steamy. First ballroom dance.” Bruno: “Oh, I don’t mind steamy. A bit of moisture makes you glow. I love the fact that you actually started to play with a character. As you let it go, your performance becomes more effective.”

JUDGES: 21 (Out of 30)

Lindsay and Matt, tango

I always think it’s creepy when stars dedicate tangos to their moms. Also creepy is the backdrop of Matt’s abs. Ugh. Didn’t we get enough of that on The Bachelor? Come on. 

They are doing a tango to “Let It All Out,” which I guess he was doing in that backdrop. Oh, they also have b/w glamour shots of Lindsay. Ugh.

I didn’t like the song at all, and didn’t like the dance either. His legs were bent through the whole thing.

Len: “I congratulate you that you got on with it, and it was a full-on routine. You had plenty of passion, and plenty of attack.” Bruno: “I’m a bit disappointed. You’re a bit overdressed tonight. (He’s not showing any chest onstage.) I wasn’t expecting that. But I have to say, you did a very good job. The concentration on his face! You really worked very very hard. Lots of content.” Carrie Ann: “I agree with my fellow judges. You did really well. What I like is there was a new refinement in your dancing. I thought your posture was beautiful.” 

JUDGES: 20 (Out of 30)

Witney and The Miz, salsa

The Miz says he’s going to “outwork everyone.” Considering that Suni, in her package, whined about going to school and doing gymnastics AND doing DWTS, that’s probably not hard.

They are doing a salsa to “Oops, I Did It Again,” which makes Britney fan Witney so happy she jumps up and down. 

Awful lot of flips and spins and lifts in that dance.

Bruno: “When it comes to shirts, less is more. (The Miz has his shirt open. And seriously, Bruno should be taken to HR.) We got the magic. What’s going on? Whatever it is, keep going.” Carrie Ann: “Mike, you’re so much fun to watch. The joy of you. And I see how much attention you put to all the details. The lifts were amazing, some things we’ve never seen before. But I have to tell you, for salsa, I needed to see it more relaxed up here. You were tight.” Len: “Unlike some of our stars, you’ve got absolutely no dance background. And to come out and perform to that level, I thought was fantastic.” 

JUDGES: 22 (Out of 30)

So who’s in the Bottom Two? And who’s going home?

The Bottom Two are Brandon and Kenya and Pasha and Christine. :-(

Going home?

Damn. Bummer. I liked them. Oh well.

Miche’s Favorite Dances of Britney Night

1. Val and Olivia, tango

2. Sasha and Suni, foxtrot

3. Jenna and JoJo, Argentine tango

4. Daniella and Iman, tango

5. Sharna and Brian, tango

6. Alan and Amanda, cha cha

7. Pasha and Christine, paso doble

8. Cheryl and Cody, jazz

9. Gleb and Melanie C., tango

10. Emma and Jimmie, salsa

11. Artem and Melora, cha cha

12. Brandon and Kenya, tango

Need to Go Home

1. Matt

2. The Miz

***************************************************

Season 30, Week Two: First Elimination Is Not a Surprise

Lame intro.

We don’t exactly have an opening number. We have two troupe dancers (Ezra and Sofia), dancing for a bit before they introduce Tyra (who mistakenly introduces them as pros, which they aren’t yet).

Lindsay and Matt, samba

Throughout, they have identifiers under people’s names (in yellow). For some reason, they don’t do this in Lindsay’s package.

They dance to the song whose chorus is: “Come on and dance with me, I’m levitating.” At the point in the song where it goes: “You want me, “ Matt rips off his shirt in front of Bruno. Bruno stands, and nods yes. I think Matt gets a 10 from Bruno for that.

PRO TIP: You do score points with Bruno for this (guys), but it’s points from Len that you really want to worry about. 

It was an OK cha cha. Lindsay working hard to make it so, but Matt’s hips didn’t seem to move at all.

Len (Professional Ballroom Judge): “Instead of worrying about taking off your shirt, which was totally unnecessary, you would’ve been better served working once again on your hips. Your hips are nonexistent. Honestly, your hips are allergic to music. Work on your hips.” Derek (Choreographer & Six-Time DWTS Champion): “I think what Len is trying to say is also work on your balance. In samba, we need balance, we need rise and fall. That gets that hip action going, that rhythm going. Just for the future, think about those feet. That’s going to happen in every single dance. Turn those suckers out. But dude, you’re a great performer, so fun to watch.” Bruno (Film, Music Video & Theatre Choreographer): “There are so many things in my mind that I want to say, nothing to do with the samba whatsoever. (Matt laughs.) Next.” Carrie Ann (Choreographer & Dance Producer): “Amazing physique, but what I was missing was the bravado that you had and the confidence once you ripped your shirt off, it lasted for like two seconds, and then you started dancing small. A little awkward. Keep those feet on the ground.” (Carrie Ann really hates lifts where they don’t belong.)

JUDGES: 22 (Out of 40)

Val (Two-Time DWTS Champion) and Olivia (Beauty Vlogger), Viennese waltz

Gorgeous costumes. Oh, I love people who know how to do Viennese waltz properly. It was just magical. I loved this dance to “Better Days Are Coming.”

Derek: “There is seriously a purity in your performance. When I see you dancing, I don’t see you thinking about the routines, I just see you enjoying it. It’s such a breath of fresh air, you’re like a breeze, dancing across the oak floor. It’s gorgeous. I really, really was impressed with that. Beautiful.” Bruno: “Weightless, flowing, seamless. For a beginner of ballroom, you’ve really done incredibly well. There were a few slight hiccups.” Carrie Ann: “Olivia, I was so impressed with what Derek was talking about. There’s this trust and this vulnerability when you’re dancing, which I’ve seen in the past leads to fantastic endings because it’s all about partnership. With performances like that, your journey will probably not be very short.” Len: “I thought there was nice rotation, to left and to right. I also thought there was a nice mix of steps (thanks, Val) in and out of hold. I thought both of you did a good job.”

JUDGES: 27 (Out of 40)

Brandon (Pro Dancer) and Kenya (“The Real Housewives of Atlanta”), cha cha

These costumes are just fire tonight. Just love them. They dance to Donna Summer’s “Hot Stuff.”

Bruno: “Kenya, let me tell you. You are simply irresistible. Talk about easy. When you got it right, in the second half, it came out of you naturally. This was a night off, but I know what you have is exceptional.” Carrie Ann: “Way to represent. I love it. 50 t0 50 year old. You’re amazing. This season feels very competitive to me, and you have so much going for you, take the extra second to ground yourself, so that the line looks nicer. It was amazing. You were in your power.” Len: “I tell you what you’ve got: plenty of gear in the rear. You were working those hips fantastically. It was such a powerful, full-on dance.” Derek: “Kenya, I love you. You’re absolutely amazing. Beautiful rotation in the grapevines. For me, just find the consistency. There’s moments of greatness in there, and little wobbles here and there. Find that consistency, and you’re gonna be amazing in this show.”

JUDGES: 24 (Out of 40)

Witney (Season 19 Champion) and The Miz (WWE Superstar), tango

They are dancing a tango to “Nothing but a Good Time,” by Poison. The Miz loves “’80s hair metal.”

Boy, this man sure is full of himself. 

Carrie Ann: “That was good. That’s what I’m talking about. That’s what I wanted to see from you. Have the energy in the right parts, entertain us in our face, but then be controlled. It was amazing. You were so distinguished. Your lines were so long.” Len: “Last week I said: ‘Better than expected.’ This week, I got just what I expected. Plenty of attack, very little finesse. However, on a positive, your footwork was very good.” Derek: “My man, you came out of the gate… we doin’ tag team? Let’s go. You got me amped up. I was a little worried you weren’t going to be able to contain that energy when you got into frame, but you did, brother. You were so locked in. I was so impressed. That control was awesome.” Bruno: “You had all that aggression and bravado, but it was very well channeled into a power tango.”

JUDGES: 26 (Out of 40)

Sharna (Season 27 Champion) and Brian, rumba

Their dance last week was pretty steamy, just because they’re a couple. And now a rumba? *fans self*

She says in the package that they are dancing “to our song.” (“Say You Won’t Let Go” by James Arthur) We have an immersive Van Gogh exhibit here in the LA. They go there for their date night, and Sharna says that it’s going to be the backdrop to their dance.

“I’m so in love with you” is one of the lines. And they clearly are.

He mouths the words to her at key moments, it’s like they are in their own little love world, and we’re watching it. It’s so beautiful. So special.

Len: “On a positive note, it had a bit of romance about it. Other than that, there was very little I liked. It was just a load of posing, running around, another pose.” Brian looks shocked at his comments. Derek: “Sometimes you do a dance in the show that’s kinda just for you. I think that’s what this was. I think that’s beautiful. I think it’s great.” Bruno: “It was very honest. It was an honest dance. It was a pure expression of what you feel, and we got that. At times, it felt a little bit good, like a contemporary dance instead of a rumba. It kind of lost the Cuban motion that’s necessary for this. Was it effective? Yes. Not quite right, but great performance.” Carrie Ann: “I think I want you to build on the chemistry that you have. It’s palpable, and it’s beautiful, and it creates amazing moments that maybe other couples won’t be able to create. But you need to sustain the movement. Go from one movement to the other with energy that’s the same as that connection that you have with Sharna.” 

JUDGES: 23 (Out of 40)

Pasha (Pro Dancer) and Christine (“Bling Empire” Star), salsa

They are dancing a salsa to “Despacido.” How could this go wrong? And Pasha just packs his choreography with content. I love it.

Derek: “Wow, Christine. You have an awareness of your body, you know how to use it. You have great hip action. I was really impressed with that. You started really strong, and as it progressed, I could feel a little bit of tension rise up in you, and you could start to feel a little stiff. It’s just the consistency. Everybody’s so talented, there’s so much potential, it’s just keeping all the way from the beginning, all the way to the end.” Bruno: “But Christine, that literally got me on a spin. You have to be consistent.” Carrie Ann: “75% of that was awesome. Your passion is amazing. It brings us all in. I love every move you attack. How you wanted to be on the show, I love that in every move. If you had stayed on your feet, you would have been amazing.” Len: “Tonight, someone is gonna go home. On your two weeks of dancing, I don’t think it’s gonna be you.”

JUDGES: 24 (Out of 40)

Emma and Jimmie (Platinum Country Singer), rumba

They are doing a rumba to one of his songs, “Make Me Want To.” (I don’t like it when they dance to the star’s songs, usually. The advantage, of course, is that they know the musicality of it inside and out. But to me, they are usually not as good songs as are most often chosen.)

The rumba was ok, not earth-shaking.

I’m not commenting on Tyra. Not her dresses, not her excesses, not the lame banter she does before the votes are shown. But I do want to point out that she really does make a lot of mistakes as a host. Mistakes Tom Bergeron never made. Just saying. And her main job is to go: “Bruno, Carrie Ann, Len, Derek” at appropriate times, and she sounds completely bored when she’s doing that. #sigh

Bruno: “Great song, Jimmie. (*eyeroll*) It definitely got you tuned in and turned on. Couldn’t you feel the undercurrent of passion emerging, almost exploding?” (Um, no. To me, it didn’t feel passionate at all.) Carrie Ann: “That was amazing. That was the first time this season that I actually felt my heart attached to what you were doing. You just opened us all up. I could not take my eyes off of you. You had so much respect for the art form by the way you did every movement. I’m impressed with you. That was so beautiful.” Len: “Your footwork was a little bit hit and miss. Your upper body was really great. And the secret to this show: do better than you did the week before. And that’s what you just did.” Derek: “I wanna echo what they just said: the lower half, I could see you struggling a bit, but the upper half, beautiful arms. Powerful.”

JUDGES: 27 (Out of 40)

Alan and Amanda (Co-Host of “The Talk”), foxtrot

Amanda chooses to dance this foxtrot to her wedding dance song with her deceased husband, Nick. “It Had to Be You.”  They chose it because it was the song he sang to book “Bullets Over Broadway,” which was the Broadway show they met in. 

Alan got lucky this time, he got a real dancer. Beautiful foxtrot.

Carrie Ann: “Amanda, with all due respect, so much of your journey has had to do with Nick. But this is all about you. You are a star. That was like watching a Broadway musical built only around you. Those beautiful legs, those beautiful lines. The elegance, the strength, the milking of the moment.” Len: “I love that track, so that helps me. I liked it so much, I wanted it to go on a bit longer, if I’m honest. It was smooth. It was like butter on a hot muffin. Don’t keep kicking your legs up so much. Just cause you got ‘em doesn’t mean you’ve got to use them.” Derek: “Don’t listen to this guy. Use those beautiful legs. They are stunning, exceptional, exquisite. I honestly don’t know what to say, cause I was watching you. I was singing. It was so enjoyable to watch. You are just a vision.” Bruno: “Absolutely radiant. If you’ve got it, flaunt it.” 

The kicks that Len didn’t like.

JUDGES: 32 (Out of 40)

Jenna and JoJo (Popstar and TV Personality), cha cha

Once again, it’s amazing to watch them dance. They dance to “Rain on Me,” and it’s just fun stuff.

Len: “Well, I just saw, before this, my favorite ballroom dance of the season, and I’ve just seen my favorite Latin dance of the season.” Derek: “By the way, that’s all you need. Listen, JoJo, I love you so much. I love your performance, your energy. And I think with you, more is more, right? Sometimes, more isn’t more. You’ve got to contain that energy a little bit. It can get a little wild and lose the quality of movement. There’s an expectation, because you have a dance background. So I think we’re gonna be a little bit tougher on you. Think about that, moving forward. Have that control. Contain that energy.” Bruno: “So crisp, it was crackling. Full of vitality and zest. There was one thing. You have such a strong performance that you pop out of the screen. People are drawn to you. Is absolutely brilliant, what you do. He’s right: sometimes a bit of control. But fantastic job.” Carrie Ann: “It was like watching a dance off, but in all the good ways. Like you weren’t competing with each other, you guys just like outdoing each other, with all that energy. It’s still so new to watch it, I find myself just getting lost in the performance, and going: ‘Wow! This is so awesome.’ You are awesome. You guys are fantastic together.”

JUDGES: 31 (Out of 40

Daniella and Iman (NBA Champion), rumba

According to Maksim Chmerkovskiy (whose dance opinion I value greatly), Lady Daniella is the “queen of the rumba.” They dance to “You Know What’s Up,” by Donald Jones, which Iman says he loves. He’s says it’s on one of he and his wife’s favorite albums. 

Not only is it a great rumba, but the choreography really gets around the massive height differential in really creative ways. (As you can kinda see in the image above.) I loved it.

Derek: “Iman, what I love about you is you just look like you’re enjoying this. And it just makes me enjoy it, and everyone else watching enjoy it. It was just so smooth, so effortless. Dude, that deep lunge?” Bruno: “I really appreciate the work you put into this. You could really see you were trying to follow the melodic line of the music. Very very good work. You still have to work on your feet.” Carrie Ann: “You had more content this week, which was great for Len, but for me, I’m sorry. You have something special. They way you are so able to connect to that music. And you don’t care. You tell your story about what you’re feeling from that music, and to me, that is magic. So once again, that was magic.” Len: “I am smiling. I liked it. Don’t get excited. I didn’t like it that much, but I liked it. It’s a great improvement on last week.”

JUDGES: 25 (Out of 40)

Britt and Martin, cha cha

Poor Britt. To be saddled with such a dreadful partner. I feel sorry for her.

They are dancing to “Twist and Shout,” and I’m truly scared to watch this. Oh, good grief. Ugh. My eyes!

Bruno: “Technically, more content and more steps. Not always in the right ordcr, or have the right time, but definitely more. So, we are moving in the right direction.” Carrie Ann: “I’m just happy for you, because this week, you look like you had fun and you let loose. That’s what people attach to.” Len: “Let me first of all congratulate you, Britt, because I think you’ve done a sterling job working there on Martin. Martin, I can’t give it a big mark because it wasn’t that great.” Derek: “I love the opening James Brown move. I see you, with the footwork there. It was a lot of fun.” 

JUDGES: 15 (Out of 40)

So bizarre seeing a 3 from the judges. (Deserved though.)

Artem and Melora (“The Office” and “The Bold Type” Actress), rumba

Another bit of wisdom from Maksim Chmerkovskiy: the rumba is “the woman’s dance.” Not in this case. For the beginning of the dance, she stood behind Artem. I guess to emphasize the song, “All By Myself” that they were dancing to. But throughout, it certainly felt like Artem was leading and guiding, and she was overall very awkward.

Although I did love the costumes, and she looked very beautiful.

Carrie Ann: “That was very dramatic, sister. I loved it. You have such a knack for storytelling through your body. It’s not just in here (she motions to her face). You’re giving us all with every ounce of your body. Your arms are stunning. What I loved about that performance was it was so well-balanced.” Len: “Overall, it was easy like Sunday morning. However, Melora, you needed a little bit more hips going on, and Artem, I’d have liked a few more recognizable steps.” Derek: “Melora, I adore ya. You’re just so fun to watch. Your movement is beautiful, such quality to it. It has the right amount of resistance in it. Beautiful.” Bruno: “Beautifully acted. Much more centered.”

JUDGES: 27 (Out of 40)

Cheryl and Cody (Celebrity Fitness Guru), salsa

These are COVID times, and our dear Cheryl has gotten Covid. But the #DWTS rules state that the judges can judge from the taped performance from rehearsal. And so they did.

And this salsa was a damn sight better in rehearsal than anything Martin Kove did in performance, I’ll tell you. So I’m extremely glad that Cody is still in the competition with this tape. He was awesome, and would’ve been even better with costumes and lights and whatnot.

Just goes to show: give it your all in rehearsal, cause you never know!

Cheryl and Cody are isolating, because Covid. But they bring them in virtually for their scores.

Len: “May I first say, Cheryl, I wish you a really speedy recovery. That was full of razzle dazzle. A lot of salsa content, which I always like to see. It was crafted well, and it was danced well.” Derek: “Listen, for rehearsal, that was really really good. Obviously, there’s a little parts that are a little out of sync, but that’s what rehearsal is for. I can really imaginc that routine in the ballroom, with the lights, the costumes, you coming alive.” Bruno: “Yes, we really miss you in the ballroom, because that adds an extra layer to the performance. But even the Pepto-Bismol shoes could not take away from your talent.” Cheryl and Cody both laugh. Carrie Ann: “I was gonna say: Let that be a lesson to what you wear in rehearsal, right? Cody, it was a little bit lackluster, but that’s because you’re marking it, but we have to hold it to the standards of what everybody else is doing in the ballroom, so it was a good job. Lots of content, but you know, not fantastic.”

JUDGES: 24 (Out of 40)

Gleb (Season 28 Finalist) and Melanie C., foxtrot

Fun fact: she’s from an area outside of Liverpool, so it’s with special meaning that they are dancing to a Beatles’ song, “Here Comes the Sun.”

Let’s pause for a moment to applaud the tech people on this show, who created such a beautiful sun for us. This just took my breath away.

It was also for my money, every bit as captivating as Amanda’s foxtrot earlier, in some ways more so.

Derek: “Wow. Melanie, you are a gorgeous dancer. Just absolutely stunning. Beautiful resistance in your body. Just so clean, so effortless. You have a beautiful frame. I love watching you dance.” Bruno: “Melanie, my darling, you’ve never looked lovelier. I really was not expecting this. You managed to combine lyricism with dynamics. So clean, so centered. I can’t believe it. Fantastic.” Carrie Ann: “I loved seeing this side of you. There’s such beautiful elegance and refinement and softness. Trust yourself just a little bit more, because you’re a beautiful dancer.” Len: “As you came out, I was thinking of another Beatles song, “Please Please Me,” and you really did please me. This was not “A Hard Day’s Night,” it was good.”

Before the scores are given, we see a video from Ringo Starr, saying “Peace and Love” to Melanie, and wishes her all the best (because he’s from Liverpool too).

JUDGES: 30 (Out of 40)

Sasha (Season 29 Finalist) and Suni, cha cha

Courtesy of Just Jared, and ABC.

Sasha, in the package, tries to fight against the “no smiling” thing that gymnasts have, also the stuffing of one’s feelings. 

Wow! Could Sasha’s pants be any more sparkly?

That aside, I really loved this cha cha.

Bruno: “Going for gold again, are you? BTW, Sasha, those are mine. Suni, when you smile, you shine. Precise, clean. Dance is a performing art. Imagine yourself being a character. Make up a character, and play the character. Become someone else in each dance, because that is the key to project.” Carrie Ann: “I disagree a little bit. I would say, what I saw there was you starting to be a bit more you. And really sort of embracing yourself. I saw you gain confidence. As you gain confidence, the dance became bigger and better and better. I want you to go home, and I want you to watch that dance back. And I even bet next week is gonna be more amazing. Keep on this track.” Len: “Well, we had the lights, we had the cameras, and once you came out, we had the action. Really well danced. I thought you were coming out and performing much better.” Derek: “I feel like the character was Sassy Suni, out there dancing. Can we just talk about that flip, by the way? That’s crazy.”

JUDGES: 28 (Out of 40)

So, who’s going home? GUESS. Well, in all the years I’ ve been watching this show, I’ve never seen anyone have a deficit from 46 to 28 and NOT go home. There aren’t THAT many Cobra Kai fans to overcome this deficit.

But, OK, let’s walk through it. Who are the Bottom Two?

Astonishingly, it’s Pasha and Christine. Not astonishingly, it’s also Britt and Martin.

Who will the judges save? Hahahahahahaha.

OF COURSE, THEY SAVE:

Great final move in Pasha’s choreography.

MICHE’s Favorite Dances of Themeless Week Two

1. Sasha and Suni, cha cha

2. Cheryl and Cody, salsa 

3. Sharna and Brian, rumba

4. Val and Olivia, Viennese waltz

5. Daniella and Iman, rumba

6. Jenna and JoJo, cha cha

7. Pasha and Christine, salsa

8. Gleb and Melanie, foxtrot

9. Alan and Amanda, foxtrot

10. Brandon and Kenya, cha cha

Need to Go Home Soon

1. The Miz

2. Matt James

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Season 29, Week 1: The Whole World Has Changed

 
Season 28 ended on November 25, 2019. In a perfect world, there would have been a Dancing with the Stars tour, followed by a new spring season. But, as we all know, in March 2020, COVID-19 hit.

Luckily, our beloved #DWTS soldiered on with Season 29 starting September 14, 2020. But many things changed, many of which I still sob into my pillow about today. Namely (for reasons I STILL don’t understand), they got rid of Tom Bergeron and Erin Andrews (*sob*) and replaced our beloved hosts with Tyra Banks, for God’s sake. I still think that decision was very wrong, and awkwardly implemented (back when they also booted our dear Chris Harrison from The Bachelor/Bachelorette for no apparent reason, without so much as a How-de-do). Networks. #SMH As a longtime fan of both shows, believe me when I tell you that Tyra Banks does NOT equal Tom and Erin, and Jesse Palmer does NOT in any way equal Chris Harrison. BOTH of the former sets of hosts were doing FINE jobs. I could go on about this for days. I am seriously gutted by these lame decisions.

But let’s move on, shall we? What else has changed with COVID? There is no more Skybox or backstage area where Erin chatted with people. :-(  There is (because of COVID) also no audience. :-0 Now, I don’t know if you remember, but in Season 28, the audience was RAUCOUS. And now, the dancers are dancing to silence. Very disconcerting for an audience member. It must be very disconcerting to the dancers too.

The beloved opening number on this first show consisted of Tyra getting out of a car, and the rest of the pros, dancing individually. (As you can see by Val Chmerkovskiy, above.)

I’m going to be getting on my “I HATE TYRA” soapbox as long as she’s up there, so get used to it. She’s just terrible. But the worst offense that she added to the show, mind you, this is a show ABOUT DANCE. All that matters are the dancers and the dances. Tom and Erin were there to facilitate that, and move it all along, with a joke here or there. Tyra does none of that, and she’s added some nonsense about gowns she’s wearing with each show. I hate this unnecessary focus on her, and what does #DWTS have to do with dresses? Nothing. UGH.

Also, because COVID trapped him in England, our esteemed judge Len Goodman is not here. In his place, we have Derek Hough. OK. That’s not a bad change (although I do miss Len). It’s not easy to notice from this angle, but there is actually six feet between each judge.

Each “star” is introduced individually, without their partners. 

Finally the show actually starts. 

The first pair is introduced. Just seeing them together makes me smile (I love them both so much):

CHERYL BURKE AND AJ MCLEAN (Backstreet Boys), jive

AJ jumps over the four stairs, and falls down. Other than that, his kicks and flicks in this jive are completely on point and wonderful. They are #TeamPrettyMessedUp  LOL

Loved that dance.

Not that anyone cares, but Tyra has changed out of her voluminous dress.

Derek: “AJ, first of all, great start to the show. Shot right out of a cannon. For me, I want a little bit more pump action, a little bit more jive action, bounce. I really like that you feel comfortable out there. I like it. Great partnership.” (Agreed.) Bruno: “Powerful, strong. We expect that from you, you’re a performer. No questions. Now, you have to polish a little bit the kicks and the flicks. It looks the same. There is a difference between a kick and a flick. Listen to her. You have all the talent to go a long way.” Carrie Ann: “That is exactly the way we needed to start off this season. There’s no one in here, so you have to be all the energy. That being said, I think you could dance a little more out. I know that learning the transition to ballroom and Latin is hard, and you start to go smaller, cause you worry about the technique—it needs to be bigger than ever, especially this season.”

JUDGES: 18 (out of 30)

Gleb and Chrishell Stause (“Selling Sunset”), tango

This one was a bit awkward for me. Nice costumes, and Gleb’s trying, but Chrishell doesn’t seem like a natural to this. #TeamSellingIt

Bruno: “I know you can sell. And you manage to get the tango into escrow, but we’re a long way before we are closing, my darling. You gave us all the selling points, but you went wrong, you lost your footing, your posture went all wobbly. I wish you could do it again. Lots of mistakes.” (There were some boos. I have no idea where they were coming from.) Carrie Ann: “The little audience is yelling at us already. I feel like you have so much potential. I saw when you hit the line, you hit it beautifully, but you just got knocked off your feet early on. You just didn’t get your feet back under you. You have lots of potential, and I’m excited to see what you’re gonna bring next week.” Derek: “I wanna give you something that you’re gonna work on throughout this season. You are a little pigeon-toed. So everything you do is a little inward. That affects everything. Start from the bottom, keep those turned out. It’ll strengthen your core, your frame.”

JUDGES: 13 (out of 30)

PETA AND VERNON DAVIS, foxtrot

That was a beautiful foxtrot, though the lights are kinda glaring. Peta’s choreography is stunning. #TeamDavisIsDancing

Carrie Ann: “That was really impressive. You have quite a stage presence. You’re able to mix a tenderness and an elegance, yet with a masculine control. I felt like Peta was under your control. Now, you have a little to learn. We don’t allow lifts, so when you did that drag around, try to keep Peta’s foot on the ground. I am gonna dock a point.” (Tyra, who apparently doesn’t really watch the show, didn’t know about the “no lifts” thing.) Derek: “Vernon, you were so smooth. It was like gliding across the floor. I was so honestly surprised. It was beautiful. Your frame was good. Think of the whole picture.” Bruno: “You got it to the sizzling point. God knows what’s gonna happen with the rumba. I’ll need an ice bucket. The chemistry was sizzling. Very light, very stylish. You attempted to do rise and fall. Congratulations for that.”

JUDGES: 17 (out of 30)

Oh wow. I’m sorry all. I forgot Anne Heche was in this season. :-( 

Keo and Anne Heche, cha cha

To my eyes, that was a hot mess. #TeamAK

Derek: “Anne, you make me smile. As soon as you started, I was: ‘I like this.’ For future, think about finishing every single move before you move to the next. Otherwise, it can look a little jerky sometimes.” Bruno: “My love, you’re such a sparkling crackler, aren’t you? So full of zest. Put more hip action into it.” Carrie Ann: “I love your strength. It was so precise. What I was so impressed with was the tension between you two. What an excellent partnership. You were never thrown off. You are a star of this ballroom.”

JUDGES: 18 (out of 30)

BRANDON and JEANNIE MAI, (“Holy Moley” and “The Real”) salsa 

Great music really goes a long way on the first night (“Tell It To My Heart”). A very serviceable salsa.

#TeamDreamofJeannie

Every team has had things dropping down on the floor. (They have green streamers.) Also, although there is no audience, there is massive applause happening. #SMH 

Bruno: “So energizing, so radiant. Look at you, a little ray of sunshine. You really got the spirit of the dance. You lost balance for a tiny fraction.” Carrie Ann: “You lit this room up. If this is where you’re starting, you’re on a fantastic path.” Derek: “Holy moley. Doing that lift, Week 1? Good start.”

JUDGES: 18 (out of 30)

Sharna and Jesse Metcalfe (“Desperate Housewives”), quickstep

“Part-Time Lover” is also a good song for this quickstep. Wonderful to see Sharna on the ballroom floor again, with her pink-tinged hair. Love her. They are a good partnership. Fun dance. They get a spray of confetti at the end.

#TeamAllIn

Carrie Ann: Carrie Ann welcomes Sharna back as well. Carrie Ann also tries to ignore Tyra not really knowing what’s going on, and plunges ahead. “Jesse, that was one of the most passionate quicksteps I’ve ever seen. I do think we need to tame the beast a little bit. You’re a little wild, but the intensity is right. We need a little bi more posture, and a little bit more form.” (I’m ignoring Tyra’s nonsense here.) Derek: “Jesse, that was great. You’re a leading man in the ballroom and the dance floor.” Bruno: “This dance, very tricky to do Week 1. You did well.” 

JUDGES: 18 (out of 30) 

Alan and “Disney Channel star” Skai Jackson, tango

Skai Jackson is no Zendaya. I don’t really like when they have 18-year-old competitors. But the costumes were great (and the sets). Hated the music. 

#TeamReachForTheSkai

Derek: “First of all, that split? Let’s go. Flexibility! Your posture is beautiful. I’d have liked to have seen more bend in the legs.” Bruno: “Skai, for you, the sky is the limit. For a young girl like you, giving such a mature performance, on Week 1. The shapes were fantastic.” Carrie Ann: “What you did so well is you coped with the height difference. If you can adapt your hold right now, you’re on such a great side. That was a beautiful and exciting performance.”

JUDGES: 21 (out of 30) *overscored*

Then, we get to see a preview (reminder) of the (trainwreck) Clare season of “The Bachelorette.” #UGH

Followed by a commercial for “Jeopardy” that still had Alex Trebek in it. *sobs*

Artem and (“Bachelorette”) Kaitlyn Bristowe, cha cha

Unlike Hannah Brown, whom I loathe, Kaitlyn Bristowe can do no wrong. Love her.

#TeamWillYouAcceptThisDance

Kaitlyn says she’s “in it to win it.” When all else fails, add a lot of fringe to the costume in Week 1. Seriously, it was a fun dance. Both Artem and Kaitlyn look so glad to be there.

Bruno: “Artem! Nice to see you back where you belong. What a cha cha cha. You’ve really got her going on the toe on Week 1? C’mon! It was so good.” Carrie Ann: “A great first dance. The energy’s so great, the arms are wonderful.” Derek: “Great first dance. Beautiful cha cha. You have a lot of potential. The arms are beautiful, but just placed, not hit. The dancing, in general, was a little safe. Looking forward, more bite, more attack.”

JUDGES: 20 ( out of 30)

Jenna and Nev (“Catfish”) Shulman, foxtrot

Jenna just looks stunning. The song is fantastic. (“The Way You Look Tonight”) 

#TeamBeNeevers

Carrie Ann: “The world needs a little bit more of Nev. You guys, that was incredible. So uplifting, so refined, you took us back into that era. It just transported us.” Derek: “My man, you are a great dancer. It was so pleasant to watch. It was wonderful.” Bruno: “I loved the way you went down the classic Hollywood style. You acted it beautiful.”

JUDGES: 20 (out of 30)

For inexplicable reasons, Len pops in from across the pond to say everyone’s doing great (even though it’s a live show and he can’t possibly see it…)

Britt and Johnny Weir, cha cha

This is the wondrous Britt’s first season as a pro! (Long overdue…) Wonderful seeing these two together. I loved it. 

#TeamBrijo

Derek graciously welcomes Britt “as a new pro. Johnny, great job. Great first dance. Stay consistently Johnny. Sometimes I could see you thinking when it gets to the technical stuff. Stay confident.” Bruno: “Johnny, great opening. You have a wonderful lyrical quality. You feel the music through the body. In the cha cha cha, you need to be a bit sharper. You have to get the hips right.” Carrie Ann: “You shoulda been on this show years ago. This is the perfect place for Johnny Weir. Johnny Weir, Dancing With the Stars is heaven. Stay connected. You guys are partners. Stay connected the whole way through.”

JUDGES: 18 (out of 30)

Sasha and Justina Machado, cha cha

I mean! Starting out a cha cha to Aretha Franklin’s “Respect,” c’mon! The only thing as good as the music choice is that Justina is paired with Sasha!!!!! This is going to be a great season.She is definitely shaking her groove thing here. Wow! Loved this so very much. Great costumes too.

#TeamLOCOmotion

Bruno: “Respect? You got it, baby. Fully charged and ready to dazzle. The confidence, the musicality, the rhythm. Tu es una chica marvallosa.” Carrie Ann: “Muy caliente! You are on fire. Thank you for dancing like that. You just got me out of our seats, and I’m sure you got everybody at home dancing with you.” Derek: “Justina, you are oozing charisma. You filled this room with so much energy, so much power. Great dance.”

JUDGES: 21 ( out of 30)

Emma and Charles Oakley, salsa

A bit of a height difference between these two. Great costumes and sets though. Danced to that “Shorty, It’s Your Birthday” song.

#TeamOakieDokie

Carrie Ann: “The good news is this isn’t your last dance. But the bad news is that I need you to listen to the music a little bit more. You were ahead of the music the whole time. Fill the space.” Derek: “Massive respect for you, my man. I felt joy, the enjoyment of what I saw and that goes a long way. You need to work on the technique.” Bruno: “You got into the spirit of it, your own way. Laid-back, cool, just a teaser. Put a lot more extra chili in it.”

JUDGES: 12 (out of 30)

Val and Monica (“Cheer”) Aldama, foxtrot

Val Chmerkovskiy can make anything look magical. This dance was beautiful. The costumes are gorgeous, the sets are stunning.

#TeamValdama

Derek: “Monica, beautiful, graceful. So pleasant to watch. A breath of fresh air. Beautiful frame.” Bruno: “Wonderfully elegant, stylish. It looked exactly as a foxtrot should. Foxtrot, very difficult. First time, well-done.” Carrie Ann: “It’s a tough dance, but…it’s a hard transition to go from the mat to the wood. But you went for it. I could tell it felt good for you.”

JUDGES: 19 (out of 30)

Daniella and Nelly, salsa

Nelly and Daniella, who loves his music. Boy, this is gonna be fun. They start out their first number on a motorcycle. And dance salsa to one of Nelly’s songs.

#TeamDaNelly

Daniella, wife of Pasha, is a new pro (sorta) this season. She was here last season, but without a partner.

Bruno: “Daniella! You’ve got your first partner, and thank you for taking it in such a wonderful ride. The connection between you two, the interplay was so much fun. Nicely rhythymical, very grounded.” Carrie Ann: “Where did the backflip come from? I did not expect that or see that coming. Way to get us all going.Your groove is right. No one else has that here tonight. But you gotta open up. This kinda dancing is all about opening up and exposing your heart.” Derek: “Nelly, sneakers? It’s appropriate for this dance, but ballroom shoes are there to help you articulate your feet.”

JUDGES: 16 (out of 30)

Pasha and Carole (“Tiger King”) Baskin, paso doble

Dancing a paso doble to “Eye of the Tiger,” (Of course) these two are quite a spectacle. Pasha gets bonus points for balls today. There aren’t even words to describe this, but put it in the category of worst Dancing with the Stars dancers ever.

#TeamAreYouKittenMe

Carrie Ann: “Here I am, standing in front of the ultimate crazy cat lady. I love you, and I love the connection you guys have when you dance. Carole Baskin just danced the paso doble to “Eye of the Tiger,” everyone! Carole, what I love most is that you did not hold back. You went full out. This is very new for you. That was fantastic. I really enjoyed it.” Derek: “Carole Baskin. You danced that paso! You smashed it. Let’s go. I see you. I commend you for being out here, dancing. You’re here, you’re doing it.” Bruno: “I call it as I see it. For me, you didn’t quite kill the paso doble. It was kind of sedated. It had the resemblance of it, but I want to hear you roar. It didn’t pop the way it should. But I’m sure you’re back next week.”

JUDGES: 11 (out of 30)

No one goes home this week.

MICHE’s Favorites of Week 1

1. Sasha and Justina, cha cha

2. Val and Monica, foxtrot

3. Cheryl and AJ, jive

4. Sharna and Jesse, quickstep

5. Artem and Kaitlyn, cha cha

6. Daniella and Nelly, salsa

7.  Jenna and Nev, foxtrot

8. Britt and Johnny, cha cha

9. Brandon and Jeannie, salsa

10. Peta and Vernon, foxtrot

11. Emma and Charles, salsa

12. Alan and Skai, tango

 NEEDS TO GO HOME

1. Carole Baskin

2. Anne Heche

3. Chrishell

4. Charles Oakley

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