There are many things to love about Season 28 of Dancing with the Stars. There are also many things to hate.
A thing to love? The first thing you see, the amazing set!
And the colors! Just deeper and bolder somehow. Gorgeous.
A thing to hate? The voting. The judges, apparently peeved by last season’s win by fan favorites Bobby Bones and Sharna, switched the voting around, so the judges’ votes held more sway. Worst of all, the fan votes (always so crucial) this time only counted the East Coast viewers. If you were in the rest of the country, you were either out of luck, or you voted (as I did) just for your fan favorites, without really weighing in the quality of their dance. Man, did I hate all that. So very unfair.
Another thing I really and I mean really hated this season was that they somehow felt the need to get writers. WRITERS! FOR A DANCE SHOW. So they have these super annoying lame skits at the beginning of each episode. Man, did I hate that, too. UGH. It’s dance, people. Just let them dance.
(Although, in this first episode, this also meant that Tom Bergeron got to show us some acting chops, which was just awesome.) Which brings us to:
(SIDE NOTE: I am writing this after the fact, which explains all the tears on my keyboard right now. Let’s just say: enjoy the hell out of Tom Bergeron and Erin Andrews this season.)
Another thing that I hate about this season is that they announced earlier that there would be no troupe this season. Which meant, in reality, that they would start with no troupe, and then work them in throughout the season, but not announce them as such. Lame and disrespectful.
Brutally for me, this meant that there was no Britt. No Hayley. :-(
So we begin, with the opening dance (to “Higher Love”). We revel in our favorites returning: Jenna and Val, Sasha and Emma (with dark hair), Peta, Alan, Brandon, Lindsay, Witney, Keo and new pro Pasha. With no troupe to flesh it out.
But let’s take a
quick look at this season’s competitors, shall we?
We also have a thing that we didn’t have previously, where each competitor’s name is wrapped in some spiffy graphics at the beginning and end of each song. It’s pretty at first, but after FIFTEEN TIMES, lemme tell ya, it gets tiresome. And it takes minutes. Each time. UGH.
Luckily, our lovely judges are back (thank goodness).
Let me also say this. When this season aired,
The Bachelorette had just finished. I was so done with Hannah Brown by this point. I really didn’t want to see one minute more of her. Alas, she and Alan were first up with their cha cha.
Well, first first, we get to see how each star met their partner. Hannah’s journey (predictably) begins at Bachelor Mansion. “I’ve been through a lot,” moans she, as I fight the urge to turn it off. Again, too much writing and malarky. She talks to Chris Harrison (although it is nice to have him finally on
DWTS).
A limo pulls up. Alan gets out. Blah blah blah.
Their first dance, the cha cha to “I Wanna Dance with Somebody,” is very perky and light. Hannah seems a bit ahead of the music sometimes, but her pageant smile does her in good stead.
HANNAH AND ALAN: cha cha
JUDGES: 20 (out of 30)
I’ve never heard of Kel Mitchell, but he was in
Good Burger, and Witney says that was “her favorite movie growing up.” Um... ok...
So, he’s a comedian, and if you didn’t get that from the
Good Burger reference, surely the massive Kel face, where he slides down the huge pink tongue to start the dance will clue you in.
Kel and Witney do the tango, an ambitious first dance. They are dancing to the Jonas Brothers’ “Sucker.” Fun stuff.
KEL AND WITNEY: tango
JUDGES: 16 (out of 30)
Oh, this pairing. LOVE Kate Flannery. Was very anxious to see this new pro, Pasha Peskov. After this dance, they became one of my favorites this season.
Their package starts off with Kate as her
Office character, walking around behind the scenes at
DWTS. I don’t know how much of this is true, but Kate says that she used to be a waitress, and she “kept (her) waitress uniform for the first season of
The Office... I didn’t know what was going to happen.”
The dance starts out with Kate in a waitress outfit, polishing a table at which Bobby Bones and Tom Bergeron are sitting. She’s singing (
quite good
a capella) “She Works Hard for the Money,” Pasha grabs her, and she rips the outfit off.
Loved that sooooo much. Loved both of these two.
KATE AND PASHA: cha cha
JUDGES: 15 (out of 30)
The other thing that is both love and hate this season: the cool-down room where Erin does interviews. In past seasons, the poor, tired dancers had to schlep up a massive flight of stairs to Erin. This season, they just walked across the floor to something on the main stage area. (I liked that it was closer for them, but it got mighty crowded in there.)
Lamar Odom, all 6'10" of him, is paired with 5'7" Peta Murgatroyd for this foxtrot.
It just continues to amaze me how this show always finds new ways to shoot this incredible set. The initial overhead shots were just stunning. There, on the steps, is a wonderful jazz band. The costumes, as usual, are fantastic. But the dancing? Peta is stunning, but Lamar is kinda walking through it.
LAMAR AND PETA: foxtrot
Carrie Ann, totally smitten with Lamar, thought he did a great job. The audience boos.
JUDGES: 11 (out of 30)
Can’t remember the last time I saw threes. Wow.
Our beloved Bobby Bones, the reigning
DWTS champion, believes he’s responsible for Lauren agreeing to participate in the show this season.
Pretty sure that was Shaina Twain’s “Feel Like a Woman” they were dancing that cha cha to. Love the costume on Lauren Alaina. She looks fabulous. Like most of the competitors, they haven’t quite gelled together yet, but it was a fun dance.
LAUREN AND GLEB: cha cha
JUDGES: 19 (out of 30)
Then, there was this. Christie Brinkley was supposed to be Val C.’s dance partner this season. And he had planned (as one does) to dance to “Uptown Girl,” because of Christie. She says in the package: “It’s my theme song!” (Do you remember her being in the video? Yeah. That.)
She says: “And you can foxtrot to it?” Val: “We will.”
(Plus, Val had already danced to this song, so he might’ve had some moves already.)
During rehearsals, Christie broke her arm. “Sailor, you’ve gotta go on for me!” (And so she does, with only three days of rehearsal.) “This is for you, Mom,” she says.
And of course, she’s fantastic. (And OMG, that CAR! *swoon*) To say nothing of the luscious NY backdrop behind the car. Stunning.
SAILOR AND VAL: foxtrot
JUDGES: 18 (out of 30)
Val’s wife Jenna is next. And dig these funky costumes. LOVE them. They are doing a salsa.
Early on, the camera person has an issue. :-( It happens right when Jenna is doing a cartwheel, sadly.
Karamo (of course) is from the newly redesigned Queer Eye. He said that he begged to be on the show. He seems a bit stilted, but like he’s having fun.
Both Len and Bruno comment that he doesn’t “have enough hip action,” which is key in the salsa.
KARAMO AND JENNA: salsa
JUDGES: 17 (out of 30)
How much do we love Cheryl Burke? The one who almost won last season (IMHO). She is fantastic. Such a pro.
She is paired with Ray Lewis (I just don’t know these sports figures at all, sorry), and they are doing a salsa. Cheryl’s hair is black, and shorter than it was last season.
Got some pretty spectacular fire effects on the stage. Very nice. That switches to a football stadium, as he waves to the crowd. OK, football guy. Yep. Football numbers on the dance floor. They are dancing to “It’s Getting Hot in Here” (or whatever it’s called).
But once again, we have no hip action from Ray.
RAY AND CHERYL: salsa
JUDGES: 15 (out of 30)
Mary Wilson. Stunning. Founding member of The Supremes, who should’ve been just as famous as Diana Ross (IMHO). So beautiful. Regal.
Mary is paired with Brandon, for this foxtrot. Look at that set! And the costumes are great.
Of course, she is dancing to a Supremes song (“Baby Love”). The opening formation has HER at the center, with two backup “singers” behind her. Very nice. Loved that.
She’s trying. Oh, she’s trying so hard. But man, she’s just terrible. But, unlike many of the folks on here, ladies and gentlemen, she IS A STAR. She really is.
Len mentions that they are the same age! (WOW)
MARY AND BRANDON: foxtrot
JUDGES: 17 (out of 30). (overscored)
Ally Brooke was in Destiny’s Child... no, wait... what was it? Oh, right... Fifth Harmony. Which is harmonious no longer, because she is now on her own. Of course,
Dancing with the Stars is a good stop on that journey. And lucky for her, she got the BEST partner to be with: the man who so deserves a Mirror Ball, but astoundingly doesn’t have one yet (how is that POSSIBLE?) Sasha Farber.
I just love everything that Sasha does. I love his choreography, I love his style. And Ally looks pretty damn good in this number, although, like every competitor so far tonight, there were misses and mistakes. But I liked watching that.
He said in the package that he “hit the jackpot” getting Ally as a partner. Nope. I respectfully disagree. He hit the jackpot when he walked into Terra Jolé’s living room. THAT was the jackpot. Ally’s just beautiful. Terra had it ALL... But I digress.
(I had to take a quick break just there to watch Terra and Sasha’s Charleston again... Yeah. That was the best...)
Len thinks that it needed more cha cha content.
ALLY AND SASHA: cha cha
JUDGES: 16 (out of 30)
At this point, I’m thinking what a lot of people are probably thinking... usually by this point, there is one couple that you just think: this person! they’ve got it all. And no one in this set so far has stood out like that... and the next one won’t either.
Oh my. Let me preface this, since we are all so political now (and divided). As with Bristol Palin, I had friends up and down declaring that they weren’t going to watch because she was on. And they are saying that now about this next guy (whom I can’t stand either): Sean Spicer.
However, those people who storm around about that are usually people who don’t watch
DWTS anyway. So the heck with them. As someone who DOES watch
DWTS all the time, I have to say that I try to give each contestant (whoever they are) a fair chance from the beginning, to watch with no preconceptions or judgment... WAIT, holy crap... what the HELL is that? hahahahahahahaha
I love you,
DWTS costumers. hahahahaha
Now, in fairness to Sean, everyone is wearing brighter colors this season. And this does look very salsa-like. But still, it makes me laugh. (I’ve been watching this show for 28 seasons, I have never seen anything so gaudy.)
OK, I guess I can sit through this.
The number starts with Sean’s hands on the bongos. Oh my.
The camera person tonight seems to have issues every time someone does a major spin. I think Lindsay did a fantastic twirl, but the camera messed it up, so I’m not sure.
And, as far as Sean... well, he’s not the worst person who’s ever danced on this stage. He is really putting his all into it, and I have to give him credit for that.
Right after he did this move, tons of bright green and pink confetti dropped on his head.
SEAN AND LINDSAY: salsa
So, we get to this point in the evening, and I’m really thinking about how in previous seasons (like the last seven or eight, for sure) there was always someone by this point in the evening of the first night who stood out, who made you go: Oh! This person! But no, nothing like that...
But wait... one more couple yet to go.
So his first image on this first show, is a stark one. Him in a porkpie hat, and gray flannel vest, taking a tango turn center stage. Out comes the gorgeous Emma, all sparkly in a black slinky tango dress.
This, then, my friends, THIS is the couple we were waiting for. HOT DAMN was this amazing. So stunning.
As they come off the floor, Tom Bergeron had to utter: “Holy crap!” Indeed. Clearly the dance of the night. And the couple to beat.
