S028 Week 7: Halloween’s Tricks and Treats

 Halloween is always a big event over at Dancing with the Stars, and this week was no exception. We start off with a movie where Len is a chauffeur driver, delivering a coffin. The coffin gets delivered, but along the way we see Tom Bergeron as a quite angry head on a platter, Lindsay and Witney as two very scary sisters, and Val as an elevator operator. Wacky. 

The tableau enters into the DWTS stage, where everyone is fittingly decked out, and we learn that the coffin holds Sean Spicer as (but of course) Frankenstein. Best casting of him so far this season.

Are we having fun yet? I sure hope so.

Witney and Kel, jive

Here’s an example of how often Witney’s choices just don’t work for me. (Compared to Val Chemerkovskiy, who punctuates every word correctly.) Witney has chosen a great song for this jive: “Time Warp” from Rocky Horror Picture Show. But I would bet money that she’s never actually seen the movie, much less the dance in the movie. 

Her concept in this dance is to make them both snakes. Kel asks why, and she says she “just wanted to be weird.” Um… ok. First of all, snakes don’t have feet, and the jive is all about kicks and flicks. #Sigh.

So automatically, this whole concept doesn’t make sense, and “just being weird” isn’t good enough. It’s a lame cop out. To say nothing of how they don’t do the “hands on your hips” part, to say nothing of the “pelvic thrust”—both of which are vital parts of this dance.

Ugh. I just hated this whole lame thing.

Len chastises Tom for “not dressing up” and Tom says he’s a “gray-haired Ryan Seacrest.” (Tom always makes me laugh.)

Len: “I tell you, Kel, you were rocking and I was reeling. It was fast, it was fun, it was fearless. Your feet were right on point, sharp, clear. It was a terrific way to start off the evening.” Bruno: “What a surprising Halloween treat that was.” Carrie Ann: “Everything was so tight, and so clean. 

JUDGES: 27 (out of 30)

Their highest scores of the season.

Emma and James, Viennese waltz

They are dancing this Viennese waltz to “I Put a Spell on You” (he says in the package that it’s the Annie Lennox version, but that doesn’t make any sense, because he’s supposed to bee the one singing it. So I’m going with the original Screaming Jay Hawkins version). So the context  of their story (which actually works, and has thought put into it) is that Emma is in a relationship with Keo, and James is a demon, who tears her away.

Emma’s choreography was just sublime. What an exquisite number! Loved every second, every movement of that. Wow

Bruno: “You are like the Prince of Darkness: mesmerizing, totally in command. It was such a powerful performance.” He mentions a tiny slip up they made. “Until that, it was absolute perfection. It was incredible.” Carrie Ann: “I was dancing with you. It was so flawless, and so powerful.” Len: “Well, James, honestly, you put a spell on me, because I thought the dance was terrific. You had lovely wide elbows, great movement, great footwork. It was a lovely mix of tricks and treats.”  

JUDGES: 27 (out of 30)

Of course, the highlight of any DWTS Halloween show is all the ways that Sasha sneaks around and scares the beejesus out of people. Jenna is the first victim they show. She is NOT happy about it.

Sasha and Ally, tango

Sasha put in lots of content and body contact with our Harley Quinn lunatic. It was a fun tango.

Carrie Ann: “Halloween is on point. Everybody is bringing A game. That was ridiculously good. What I love most about you is the way you dance right on the edge. It makes your performances more visceral. So good.” Len: “Last week, you were nearly dead and buried. And I’m so glad you’ve really come back to life. A terrific tango. I congratulate you, Sasha. Lots of proper dancing. It was so good. What a terrific dance.” Bruno: “Absolutely. That really was a Premiere League tango, with a wicked attitude. The tango was exactly as it should be—full of content, done correctly.”

JUDGES: 27 (out of 30)

Tom: “You have other paddles, right?” LOL

Alan and Hannah, jazz

How perfect is this? Pageant queen gone bad? LOL

In her package, Hannah says: “I’m always gonna be a pageant girl. If you don’t like it, it’s too damn bad.” Here’s my weekly mention of how OVER Hannah Brown I am. All of her schtick bugs the crap out of me. Also, I really hate how Bachelors/Bachelorettes just roll over from one show into another. Haven’t you thought of how SICK OF YOU WE MIGHT BE? UGH. But wait, she doesn’t give a crap. Way to make an audience love you, Hannah.

They are dancing to “Bad Girls,” which, BTW, Hannah Brown will never be. However, I really like how they incorporated the pageant wave into the choreography. LOL And at the end, she puts on her crown, sits on the throne and gives us another pageant wave (as all her competitors are vanquished).

Alan really put together some fun choreography for this dance, and Hannah does strike me as someone who can really do something if she puts her mind to it.

Len: “I think the Bad Girl is a terrific dancer. What I like is that you’ve come out and you’ve performed. You were out there, full on, giving it plenty of welly. I thought you did a terrific job.” Tom echoes: “Plenty  of welly…” Bruno: “Nothing scary about that. It was lively, great performance. Now…you’ve got to be a bit more grounded. Punch it, punch it, punch it, my darling.” Len argues with Bruno: “I thought it was really clear and crisp and on point.” Tom: “Where do you come down, Carrie Ann?” Carrie Ann: “I agree that it was crisp and clear, but I also agree with Bruno. There is something lacking in your performance. You are disconnected from the movements. I need you to give me your heart. You look, and then you look away. You’re not really staying in it. It’s almost like there’s a bit of a shyness in you. You kind of close off to the dance. I want you to stay open. We wanna get to know you through the dance. I want to see layers of you that no one has seen before…” (as she’s saying this, Hannah is closing off…) “I swear, if you let it go raw, we will be here for you.”

(Note the overused word of the night is “terrific.’)

This whole exchange really shows the power of this show, IMHO. And what Carrie Ann is describing is part of what made her so annoying as The Bachelorette. There wasn’t and isn’t really a vulnerability there. Years of forced smiling in pageants does make you close yourself to your own real feelings, IMHO. 

Erin asks Alan what he thought of the comments (about Hannah being “disconnected”). “She has been insecure. But she has no reason to be insecure.” Erin: “I mean, this is free therapy. Enjoy it.”

JUDGES: 25 (out of 30)

Erin asks Hannah how she’s feeling. Hannah: “I told myself that no matter what was said after the performance, to just have fun, and I did have fun.” Erin: “Do you agree at all with what Carrie Ann said?” Hannah: “I think I definitely have more to show and more to give, and I hope I get to do that.” (She says in a really fake, pageant girl way…) 

Jenna and Karamo, paso double

Karamo in his package has a massive pumpkin, compared to Jenna’s tiny one. “Go big, or go home!” says he, “and we are NOT going home this week!” Scary to speak those words on Halloween. You might wanna be careful with that…

I’ll spare you the rest of the lame pumpkin carving exchange… They are dancing to “Survivor” from Destiny’s Child.

As Passos go, this wasn’t one of my favorites, though their makeup is suffifciently Halloween scary. But the shaping was kind of nonexistent, except for a couple poses.

Tom says: “Looking good, Ghoul Brynner.” LOL

Bruno: “No lack of power and purpose in that one. You were really on it. You went wrong once. You should never shorten your shape.” Carrie Ann: “You were like a sonic boom. There’s something about when you release that emotion when you dance, like I was just talking about. You opened up, you let it rip, and it ripped the horns riglht off my head.” Len: “May I just congratulate hair, makeup and wardrobe? They have been fantastic! Plenty of attack, plenty of intensity. It’s the shaping. The shaping in the paso doble has to be a little bit more exaggerated. Having said that, one of the keys to the paso doble is to come out and attack the dance, and that you did.”

Erin: “How do you feel?” Karamo: “I feel like a survivor, who is going to keep climbing to the top.”

JUDGES: 25 (out of 30)

Gleb and Lauren, Argentine tango

Wow. They are dancing “Whatever Lola Want” from Pal Joey. Not what I’d expect from this modest country singer. 

That was really an exquisite Argentine tango. Gleb provided lots of content (and complicated footwork) which Alaina kept up with. Really nice. She did seem to slip once though. :-(  Overall, I seriously think that was one of Glen’s best dances ever.

Carrie Ann: “Can I just say how much I love Halloween? This is incredible. What I see with you is true transformation. You are evolving as a dancer. Every minute, every day. It’s amazing.” Len: “I’m not sure what Lola wants, but I saw plenty of what Lennie wants. You were so full of Argentine characterization. I thought that was wonderful. It was such a spirited performance. I thought the two of you sparked off of each other, and it was a terrific team.” Bruno: “Deadly sexy, irresistible vampire bombshell. The sequence of ganchos you did were exquisite. If Marilyn Monroe was a vampire, doing the Argentine tango, that’s what it would look like, with a little bit of Madonna thrown in.”

Seriously. Drink for every time they say “terrific’ in this show…

Although Carrie Ann mentioned her strong core, Erin discovers that actually Lauren has four “broken” ribs. She said she sprained one the first week of the show, “and I haven’t had the others X-rayed, but they don’t feel great.” 

JUDGES: 27 (out of 30) Well-deserved.

Lindsay and Sean, jive

Man! That is one of the scariest images of the night. And the idea that Frankenstein is going to be doing kicks and flicks scares the crap out of me.

In his package, Sean and Lindsay visit a haunted house and participate in a seance! :-0

Sean: “A guy like Frankenstein and a guy like me both have the same type of natural rhythm and movement.” :-0 (Which is to say… NONE?) He continues: “I don’t know that the spirits can vote for us, but I still want their support.” Um… OK…

Frankenstein dancing to “The Monster Mash,” but of course…

Len: “Well, Halloween is about the supernatural, and this wasn’t super and it wasn’t really natural either. It lacked jive content. You know you’re not the best dancer on the show. But you always come out and you try your hardest and give it your all.” Bruno: “Listen, Sean, the monster part was perfection. The jive was six feet behind. Lindsay, the dance, the production, veery good, very entertaining. Your timing is not your strong suit.” Carrie Ann: “Sadly, that was a dance only your mummies could love. Truthfully, I do feel like you are backsliding a little bit. This was not your best dance. You have done more dances where you were more confident and you didn’t make as many mistakes. I know it’s a lot for someone who’s never performed before, but I do love your spirit. You do come out here, and you never give up.”

JUDGES: 18 (out of 30)

Now, you would THINK that would mean he’s eliminated… #Sigh.

Pasha and Kate, rumba

They do a weird thing in this season, where occasionally they show a detail of how a dance is supposed to go (using pros from the season). Here they show Keo and Daniella (whom Maksim Chmerkovskiy calls the best rumba dancer) doing the rumba. Kate: “Rumba, isn’t that the thing that vacuums?” Pasha: “Exactly, just not as flat.”

Then Kate and Pasha go to an evening Halloween haunt (where they have the same intricately carved pumpkins they showed earlier.

But now, to the dance. So far, Pasha gets the props for best music. They are dancing to “Wicked Game” by Chris Isaak. Nice!

Although it’s kinda bizarre cause Red Riding Hood is now doing sexy time with the Wolf, but… OK. At least it’s not snakes doing the Time Warp inexplicably…

For some reason, Kate seems uncomfortable with the body contact that this dance requires. Although there is some nice choreography in here.

Bruno: “That was a beautiful and haunting rumba. I love the way you’re able to tell a story: you drag us with you. In everything you do, you really capture our attention. Sometimes you lost a little bit of fluidity, but your arm-shoulder extension? So much better.” Carrie Ann: “What I love most when I watch a rumba is to see a woman who feels absolutely 1000 percent confident to do every move. And feeling so good with the choreography that you know you can really get into it. You were oozing this kind of confidence that I love, that only comes—I only see it in Latin and ballroom dancing. And it’s happening right here. What you did was beautiful. Kate, you are shining very brightly.” Len: “Kate, excuse me. Pasha, week after week, you give me routines that you know (all these steps)… you stick ’em in, and I’m just blown away with your choreography.” (Soooooo agree. It’s been really stunning all season.) Len: “What you’ve done, since I admire your dancing and choreography so much, you’ve inspired some of the other professionals to give me proper, authentic routines.” (See Glen’s routine today for proof of this.) Len: “Kate, the trouble with the rumba is that it’s like dancing under a microscope, and any little wobble or anything is magnified. As always, a knockout performance from the pair of you.”

Erin: “Pasha, can I give you some love? This is your first season. Every single week, we’ve seen the growth with her. You deserve this. What’s this experience been like for you? We love having you here.” Pasha: “I’m having a blast. Thank you guys, it means so much to me, all these words. Thank you so much for the support.” Erin: “Every single week, Kate, you’re growing and growing. And you look smokin.’ Let’s get your scores.”

JUDGES: 24 (out of 30)

Then, we have more Sasha scares. LOL (You’d think they’d all be used to it by now…)

And, it’s Halloween, so of course we have Team Dances.

First, the entire cast goes to a creepy warehouse, where they are greeted by a coffin with flowers in it, and a TV nearby, which suddenly bursts alive. Len (in costume) talks to them: “I’ll be splitting you up into two groups: Team Trick, Team Treat for a special Halloween team dance, Pick one of the items on the table…” (oh, sorry, it looks like a coffin) “…and that will determine your fate. We’ll start at the bottom of last week’s Leader Board, and Sean goes first.”

Sean: “I’m ready.” 

Let’s just say that all the good dancers end up on Team Trick, who goes first. 

Team Trick’s song is “Somebody’s Watching Me” by Rockwell. Seriously. Sasha’s on this team. This is almost a gimme. LOL

Great shaping, in this sufficiently creepy dance. Although, back in the day, each team dance used to require separate solos by each couple. That doesn’t appear to be the rule now.

Team Trick

Len: “It was a lovely mix of paso doble, tango, touch of Viennese waltz. But that was all put together with a fantastic, interesting choreography.” Bruno: “I loved it as well, because it was dramatic, but it was elegant at the same time. You managed to combine the two so well, and that little hip hop break you put in, with the girls taking over… Hannah, that’s what I’m talking about, about bringing out the personality. You did it then. So it is there, within you.” Carrie Ann: “I loved it. I love these kind of dances, when you dance in sync like that, where you match each other’s lines. It was really powerful. And Hannah, I did feel it. Did you feel it?” Hannah: “I’m not a performer. I’m a girl on reality TV, and every time I come out here, I’m trying my hardest.” (She actually sounds like she is tearing up, which is actually good.)

Carrie Ann: “You hang in there, cause that’s what we want, more of that.”

JUDGES: 27 (out of 30)

Back when Derek Hugh was here, both teams always got 10s… #sigh

Team Treat

Team Treat dances to “Sweet Dreams” by Beyoncé. Karamo, who LOVES Beyoncé (and just danced to her in his individual dance is “freaking out” at his luck at getting another one to dance to. 

To my eyes (well, first, the song isn’t as good as Team Trick’s was, IMHO) but the dance seemed more awkward, with not as much finesse in choreography. Although they clearly featured all of the “stars” in a solo, which I’m not clear the other group did. (It used to be one of the rules.) But the other dance was better overall.

Bruno: “That was nightmarishly entertaining. What a concept. I have to say not everyone was always on time. But I really enjoyed the effort.” Carrie Ann: “I loved the concept, but I’m gonna give Most Valuable Player to Kate, because you were dancing and keeping up with some of the best lady dancers in this business, and then you wrangled all the men, and you put ’em in place. And then you led that kickline. It was good.” Len: “I liked the fun of it. Wonderful entertainment. Congratulations.”

JUDGES: 24 (out of 30)

Tradition has it that the person going home is also from the losing Team Dance team…

Who gores home tonight? Who are in the Bottom Two? Well, what do you know? Both are from Team Treat.

MICHE’s Favorites of Halloween Night

1. Emma and James, Viennese waltz

2. Gleb and Lauren, Argentine tango

3. Alan and Hannah, jazz

4. Sasha and Ally, tango

5. Pasha and Kate, rumba

6. Jenna and Karamo, paso doble 

Guess he’s not this week’s survivor after all…

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DTWS S028 Week 4: Judges Need a Harassment Seminar, While Dancers Are Walking on Sunshine

 So this new director seems to think it’s a great idea to start the show with a (lame) scripted segment. For the record, I really hate these. When we have an actor in them, they are marginally better. We open Season 28, Week 4 on Leah Remini (former contestant) in her shrink’s office (it appears)... Turns out she’s just talking to Len. blah blah blah. Len says, “You should try being a judge sometime.” So she does. 

Sadly, no opening number this week, just a long stroll into places. And no real theme.

SEAN AND LINDSAY Paso doble

Starting off with Sean Spicer and Lindsay, who perform a paso doble to a great Gipsy Kings song. While Sean has the tough matador look down, he really didn’t move much. There was a lot of clapping and hand gesturing (a lot of contestants don’t effectively use their arms), but the dance was just a lot of lead weight.

The sets and costumes were fantastic, as you can see. Lindsay was really trying hard, too. 

Tom asks Sean if he prefers dancing first, or dancing last. Sean says: “I’ll tell you in a minute.”

Len says it looked like “the paso doble from Pasadena,” which I think is an insult. “Technically, it wasn’t... you know, great. But what I liked was you attacked the dance.”

Bruno: “You’re not quite Antonio Banderas yet.” (Which makes Tom laugh.) “But you took the bull by the horns. My favorite bit was, you actually attempted flamenco, but the hands and the feet were never at the same time. There’s one thing you have to do if you stay in the competition: you have to unlock your center.”

Carrie Ann: “I loved your arms.”

Leah: “You come out here, and you’re committed. You try your best.” :-0

JUDGES: 21 (out of 40)

The thing about Dancing with the Stars in Season 28, is that by now, you have certain indelible dances. That stand above all others, and really shouldn’t be replicated. Pretty much as soon as I hear “Proud Mary,” this dance pops into my head, and stays there.

But we are not in Season 22 with Mark Ballas and Paige’s landmark jive... No, we are here...

SASHA AND ALLY Jive 

Sadly, Ally is no Paige. :-(

She kept playing air guitar during the dance, which was very distracting. The purple costumes are nice, but the less said about the dance, the better. The judges liked it.

Bruno says he is “tingling with delight.”

Carrie Ann talks about the benefits of hair extensions. “Trying to take on Tina Turner is difficult, because we have high expectations. But you nailed it.” 

 

Leah: “I don’t know much about dance,” says the woman sitting there as a judge... (SMH)... “but I know that that was a very difficult routine to do. This is no joke. This is a hard routine.”

Len: “You should be proud of how you danced. Good technique. Great personality.”

JUDGES: 32 (out of 40)

KEL AND  WITNEY Cha Cha 

Last week, Kel and Witney were one of the couples in the bottom two. Luckily, Ray had to drop out, so there was no real choice made.

Witney always delivers a good dance, but this one didn’t do much for me. But again, the judges liked it. Carrie Ann even jumps up to give her rave.

Carrie Ann: “Kel Mitchell. It is ON. That is what I’ve been waiting for. That was incredible. You were in the bottom two last week? I can’t even believe that. Way to bring it back.”

Leah: “You were so wonderful to watch. You need to start knowing you are good. Own it.”

Len: “You’ve been under the radar for the first three weeks. Tonight, you’ve come...” Leah says, “He’s not a dancer,” grabs Len, kisses his cheek and laughs. Len, of course, is so irritated at all this he could spit nails. He just looks down and tells Tom to “move on.” #awkward

Bruno: “I saw you. I saw your personality. You were engaging, you had great hip action, great rhythm, great musicality. You only have to believe in yourself.” 

 

JUDGES: 32 (out of 40)

KATE AND  PASHA  Argentine tango  

 

 “You are surpassing my expectations. With each day, you grow so much,” says Pasha to Kate Flannery. “It’s because of you,” she says. They are doing the Argentine tango this week. Pasha shows her how she has to look at him, and she says: “I’ll make the sacrifice for you. I’ll stare at you.” Later, she says: “I can’t believe, at 55, I get to dance with a hot Russian.”

Kate talks about how she started things late in life: She got on The Office when she was 40. She met her boyfriend Chris while she was on The Office. “Having the courage to give yourself a chance is a big deal, and it really pays off.”

 Now, she’s dancing an Argentine tango with Pasha. I’d say life is pretty good.

 

They danced to some song whose chorus is “can’t keep my hands to myself” (by H.E.R.). There’s a part that says, “well, I could, but why would I want to?” and Kate kinda acts that out, in the middle of the dance, and it makes me laugh. Otherwise, it was pretty steamy. I kept thinking: ‘this is just every woman’s dream here.’

Tom: “as I said to you in dress rehearsal: Who are you?” Kate: “I don’t know who I am.”

Leah: “Kate, from the beginning, your energy is amazing. You represent a lot of us that are not really dancers. We’re comedic actresses. (Kate nods affirmatively.) So the passion stuff is really hard. These pros could be passionate with a refrigerator. (Both Kate and Pasha laugh.) But I think you did amazing.”

(You will note how far away Leah remains during Len’s comment.) LOL 

 Len: “The problem is: it’s all about expectation. Your quickstep last week was so fantastic. I think you struggled this time, getting into the character of the Argentine tango.”

Bruno is now the one who grabs onto Len in his comment. Len is so hating this. Then he gets up. “You lost balance quite a few times. You lost the smoothness of the Argentine tango.” He calls it “staccato” and “jagged.”

Leah screams at Bruno: “Say something nice.”

Carrie Ann chastises her gently: “My turn...Kate, what is amazing is the way you use the floor. I watched you...you extend your lines. It is what sets you apart from everybody else.” Then she explains how the passion should be in your whole body, not just your face.

As Carrie Ann sort of acts that out with Leah... the dancers go talk to Erin. Erin tells Kate: “You have the best of both worlds. You have a hot boyfriend, and you get to dance with a Russian. Yes, please.”

JUDGES: 26 (out of 40)

JAMES AND EMMA  Quickstep

James and his wife are having an ultrasound. although they already have five children, they are happy about child number six, so Emma thinks their song, “Walking on Sunshine,” is a fitting one. “Cause you are...” She then ponders for  moment: “Is this because she saw your rumba?” James throws back his head and laughs. 

 

Pretty sure this was the part of the season where I was thinking, “Boy, I sure want them to win.”

This dance was so joyous, so elegant. I just loved it. James’ pink shoes, the confetti at the end, all of it. He was Dawson no more with this dance.

You gotta worry when Len starts out with: “Sometimes my scores don’t reflect my feelings. You’re a terrific dancer. But, I would’ve liked a little more in hold. But it was full of clever choreography, great movement.”

Bruno: “You can tell  story, and you can definitely dance it. But I’m with Len. Of course, all the big flashy things you can sell, but it’s in the little details and the transitions that you cannot afford to lose it. You have such an impact when you go big, when you’re small and subtle especially in hold, you have to keep the precision. You have to work on the detail now.”

 

Carrie Ann: “No doubt about it, that was a great routine and you performed it really well. What I'm noticing is that you’re dancing a bit out of sync. You’re dancing like two soloists, as opposed to a pair.”

Leah: “You’ve been solid the whole show. I loved watching you, and you’ve been amazing from Day 1.” 

JUDGES: 28 (Out of 40)

HANNAH AND ALAN  Paso doble     

My test for beauty queen Hannah is: Can she do a paso doble without smiling? #Doubtful

As if reading my mind, the floor says: “I Don’t Care. I Love it” in big letters. And Hannah attacks this dance with fervor. A decent paso.

Bruno: “It started magnificently. The attention, the choreography. It was drop-dead gorgeous.”

Carrie Ann: “First of all, I just wanna say: The comments are never intended to be hurtful. (Hannah laughs.) My comments are intended to help you get better. And I think my comments worked. There was a big difference in the intensity, and your whole body was engaged in the movement. I thought it was so passionate and delightful.”

Tom: “There you go!”

Leah: “A little smile in the beginning! But then, you pulled it together. Amazing.”

Len: “It was fast, it was clear, of course you’ve gotta have aggression in the paso doble, and you did that, but with an air of calmness. It never felt rushed. It just had aggression, but with control.”

JUDGES:  32 (out of 40)

LAMAR AND PETA  Viennese waltz

Of all of Lamar Odom’s dances, this is the one I liked the most. Course, I really like the Viennese waltz a lot. Peta’s gown was just stunning.

The judges though?

Carrie Anne: “What I saw in this dance was vulnerability.”

Leah: “I think you did an amazing job.” (I could be wrong, but I think she used the word ‘amazing’ in every critique. #SMH)

Len: “There’s a gentleness about you.”

Bruno: “Very difficult dance."

 JUDGES: 20 (Out of 40)

SAILOR AND VAL   Cha cha

Val is one of those people who always picks good songs to dance to. This cha cha is no different, with the Motown classic, “Ain’t No Mountain (High Enough).” Sailor gets some rehearsal advice from her longtime friend (and Val’s Mirror Ball-winning partner) Rumer Willis.

For my money, this was easily the best dance of the night, and I bow to the beauty of Val’s choreography. Now THAT was a cha cha. Damn, was that beautiful. Since Derek left, Val has really become the male star of the show. I am grateful for every dance of his that I see.

Leah: “You make me smile. You’re just lovely. You emanate loveliness.”  

Len: “It’s another terrific performance. You’ve really got yourself on a roll. This was a very well-executed cha cha cha.”

Val: “Thanks, Len.”

Len, continues: “Good foot action, which gave you nice legs. In turn, you got a good hip action going...” (which causes Val to give us some of that very sexy hip action... and you know sexy gives Len the shakes, so he says:) “Stop doing that, Val.”

Val: “I can’t get compliments from you, Len, I can't...,” he says with a Val smile.

Len soldiers on. “It was terrific.”

Bruno: “Sailor, your light is shining brighter every week. As you grow in confidence, it’s like seeing a new girl with every dance you do. I really appreciate that you really try to get the correct foot/leg placement. Nice finish on the lines.”

Carrie Ann: “So true. You’re just this bright light, and I can see more and more of you. The one thing I’d say... work on finding the consistency with getting your feet under you. Then, watch out.”

JUDGES: 31 (Out of 40)

LAUREN AND GLEB   Foxtrot

Lauren enthuses about how much she loves Dolly Parton, and they are dancing to Parton’s “Jolene.” They (for some reason) fly to Nashville, where they run into previous #DWTS winner Bobby Bones, and Lauren sings at some bar.

This number, however, starts with her in a swing, wearing a low-cut dress. (Where's her outrage now?) And it's a nice, if slow, foxtrot. 

Len: “You don’t see that much. It was lovely, very very accomplished. I know what you do, Gleb. (Stick a bit of basic in for the old guy.) But throughout the dance, it was very very nice.”

Tom stage whispers to Gleb: “So it worked!”

Gleb: “It worked.”

Bruno: “Classy foxtrot. And you looked like a very classy lady doing it. Very elegant.”

Carrie Ann: “You have arrived. This dance was your dance. The way you sustained every movement, what Bruno was talking about. There’s a gravitas to you now. And there’s an amazing sensuality (in a positive way) that came out, that meant you were really in tune with your body. It was a beautiful story that you told us with your body and your dancing. Great job, Gleb.”

Leah: “I agree. I’m looking for the face, I’m looking for the passion, I’m looking for the story that you’re telling. You’re not an actress, you’re a performer. I loved it all, you moved me and you told the story.”

JUDGES: 32 (Out of 40)

KARAMO AND JENNA   Tango

 Karamo and Jenna’s inexplicable task involved them going to a horse farm and riding horses for some reason. #Lame

Just dance, people. Just rehearse. Give up the lame craziness. #Sigh

But all doubt is put to rest once the dance starts. Jenna starts the dance on his shoulders. :-0

They are seriously doing a tango to “Old Town Road.”  Choreography is stunning.

Bruno: “Looking good. You have a leading man attitude. No mistakes tonight.”

Carrie Ann: “That was my favorite dance of yours thus far.  You have arrived.” She then proceeds to ding Jenna for having a lift. Leah, who said she doesn't know dance, and certainly doesn’t know the rules of this competition, puts her two cents in. Carrie Ann, God bless her, soldiers on:  “That rule is there to protect older people who can’t do lifts like that. I’m calling you out on it, but it was still my favorite dance you’ve done so far.” 

Leah: Why is she even here? In protest of her stupidity, I'm not transcribing her comments. 

Len: “Your footwork was great. There were certain elements I liked.”

JUDGES: 28 (Out of 40)

Who goes home? Only our three core judges participate. Hmmm. The bottom two are: Karamo and Jenna and Lamar and Peta.

Miche’s Favorites for (themeless) Week 4

1. SAILOR AND VAL   Cha cha

2. KATE AND  PASHA  Argentine tango

3. JAMES AND EMMA  Quickstep

4. HANNAH AND ALAN  Paso doble   

5. KARAMO AND JENNA   Tango

6. LAUREN AND GLEB   Foxtrot

7. SASHA AND ALLY Jive  

8. KEL AND  WITNEY Cha Cha 

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