Season 30, Week Two: First Elimination Is Not a Surprise

Lame intro.

We don’t exactly have an opening number. We have two troupe dancers (Ezra and Sofia), dancing for a bit before they introduce Tyra (who mistakenly introduces them as pros, which they aren’t yet).

Lindsay and Matt, samba

Throughout, they have identifiers under people’s names (in yellow). For some reason, they don’t do this in Lindsay’s package.

They dance to the song whose chorus is: “Come on and dance with me, I’m levitating.” At the point in the song where it goes: “You want me, “ Matt rips off his shirt in front of Bruno. Bruno stands, and nods yes. I think Matt gets a 10 from Bruno for that.

PRO TIP: You do score points with Bruno for this (guys), but it’s points from Len that you really want to worry about. 

It was an OK cha cha. Lindsay working hard to make it so, but Matt’s hips didn’t seem to move at all.

Len (Professional Ballroom Judge): “Instead of worrying about taking off your shirt, which was totally unnecessary, you would’ve been better served working once again on your hips. Your hips are nonexistent. Honestly, your hips are allergic to music. Work on your hips.” Derek (Choreographer & Six-Time DWTS Champion): “I think what Len is trying to say is also work on your balance. In samba, we need balance, we need rise and fall. That gets that hip action going, that rhythm going. Just for the future, think about those feet. That’s going to happen in every single dance. Turn those suckers out. But dude, you’re a great performer, so fun to watch.” Bruno (Film, Music Video & Theatre Choreographer): “There are so many things in my mind that I want to say, nothing to do with the samba whatsoever. (Matt laughs.) Next.” Carrie Ann (Choreographer & Dance Producer): “Amazing physique, but what I was missing was the bravado that you had and the confidence once you ripped your shirt off, it lasted for like two seconds, and then you started dancing small. A little awkward. Keep those feet on the ground.” (Carrie Ann really hates lifts where they don’t belong.)

JUDGES: 22 (Out of 40)

Val (Two-Time DWTS Champion) and Olivia (Beauty Vlogger), Viennese waltz

Gorgeous costumes. Oh, I love people who know how to do Viennese waltz properly. It was just magical. I loved this dance to “Better Days Are Coming.”

Derek: “There is seriously a purity in your performance. When I see you dancing, I don’t see you thinking about the routines, I just see you enjoying it. It’s such a breath of fresh air, you’re like a breeze, dancing across the oak floor. It’s gorgeous. I really, really was impressed with that. Beautiful.” Bruno: “Weightless, flowing, seamless. For a beginner of ballroom, you’ve really done incredibly well. There were a few slight hiccups.” Carrie Ann: “Olivia, I was so impressed with what Derek was talking about. There’s this trust and this vulnerability when you’re dancing, which I’ve seen in the past leads to fantastic endings because it’s all about partnership. With performances like that, your journey will probably not be very short.” Len: “I thought there was nice rotation, to left and to right. I also thought there was a nice mix of steps (thanks, Val) in and out of hold. I thought both of you did a good job.”

JUDGES: 27 (Out of 40)

Brandon (Pro Dancer) and Kenya (“The Real Housewives of Atlanta”), cha cha

These costumes are just fire tonight. Just love them. They dance to Donna Summer’s “Hot Stuff.”

Bruno: “Kenya, let me tell you. You are simply irresistible. Talk about easy. When you got it right, in the second half, it came out of you naturally. This was a night off, but I know what you have is exceptional.” Carrie Ann: “Way to represent. I love it. 50 t0 50 year old. You’re amazing. This season feels very competitive to me, and you have so much going for you, take the extra second to ground yourself, so that the line looks nicer. It was amazing. You were in your power.” Len: “I tell you what you’ve got: plenty of gear in the rear. You were working those hips fantastically. It was such a powerful, full-on dance.” Derek: “Kenya, I love you. You’re absolutely amazing. Beautiful rotation in the grapevines. For me, just find the consistency. There’s moments of greatness in there, and little wobbles here and there. Find that consistency, and you’re gonna be amazing in this show.”

JUDGES: 24 (Out of 40)

Witney (Season 19 Champion) and The Miz (WWE Superstar), tango

They are dancing a tango to “Nothing but a Good Time,” by Poison. The Miz loves “’80s hair metal.”

Boy, this man sure is full of himself. 

Carrie Ann: “That was good. That’s what I’m talking about. That’s what I wanted to see from you. Have the energy in the right parts, entertain us in our face, but then be controlled. It was amazing. You were so distinguished. Your lines were so long.” Len: “Last week I said: ‘Better than expected.’ This week, I got just what I expected. Plenty of attack, very little finesse. However, on a positive, your footwork was very good.” Derek: “My man, you came out of the gate… we doin’ tag team? Let’s go. You got me amped up. I was a little worried you weren’t going to be able to contain that energy when you got into frame, but you did, brother. You were so locked in. I was so impressed. That control was awesome.” Bruno: “You had all that aggression and bravado, but it was very well channeled into a power tango.”

JUDGES: 26 (Out of 40)

Sharna (Season 27 Champion) and Brian, rumba

Their dance last week was pretty steamy, just because they’re a couple. And now a rumba? *fans self*

She says in the package that they are dancing “to our song.” (“Say You Won’t Let Go” by James Arthur) We have an immersive Van Gogh exhibit here in the LA. They go there for their date night, and Sharna says that it’s going to be the backdrop to their dance.

“I’m so in love with you” is one of the lines. And they clearly are.

He mouths the words to her at key moments, it’s like they are in their own little love world, and we’re watching it. It’s so beautiful. So special.

Len: “On a positive note, it had a bit of romance about it. Other than that, there was very little I liked. It was just a load of posing, running around, another pose.” Brian looks shocked at his comments. Derek: “Sometimes you do a dance in the show that’s kinda just for you. I think that’s what this was. I think that’s beautiful. I think it’s great.” Bruno: “It was very honest. It was an honest dance. It was a pure expression of what you feel, and we got that. At times, it felt a little bit good, like a contemporary dance instead of a rumba. It kind of lost the Cuban motion that’s necessary for this. Was it effective? Yes. Not quite right, but great performance.” Carrie Ann: “I think I want you to build on the chemistry that you have. It’s palpable, and it’s beautiful, and it creates amazing moments that maybe other couples won’t be able to create. But you need to sustain the movement. Go from one movement to the other with energy that’s the same as that connection that you have with Sharna.” 

JUDGES: 23 (Out of 40)

Pasha (Pro Dancer) and Christine (“Bling Empire” Star), salsa

They are dancing a salsa to “Despacido.” How could this go wrong? And Pasha just packs his choreography with content. I love it.

Derek: “Wow, Christine. You have an awareness of your body, you know how to use it. You have great hip action. I was really impressed with that. You started really strong, and as it progressed, I could feel a little bit of tension rise up in you, and you could start to feel a little stiff. It’s just the consistency. Everybody’s so talented, there’s so much potential, it’s just keeping all the way from the beginning, all the way to the end.” Bruno: “But Christine, that literally got me on a spin. You have to be consistent.” Carrie Ann: “75% of that was awesome. Your passion is amazing. It brings us all in. I love every move you attack. How you wanted to be on the show, I love that in every move. If you had stayed on your feet, you would have been amazing.” Len: “Tonight, someone is gonna go home. On your two weeks of dancing, I don’t think it’s gonna be you.”

JUDGES: 24 (Out of 40)

Emma and Jimmie (Platinum Country Singer), rumba

They are doing a rumba to one of his songs, “Make Me Want To.” (I don’t like it when they dance to the star’s songs, usually. The advantage, of course, is that they know the musicality of it inside and out. But to me, they are usually not as good songs as are most often chosen.)

The rumba was ok, not earth-shaking.

I’m not commenting on Tyra. Not her dresses, not her excesses, not the lame banter she does before the votes are shown. But I do want to point out that she really does make a lot of mistakes as a host. Mistakes Tom Bergeron never made. Just saying. And her main job is to go: “Bruno, Carrie Ann, Len, Derek” at appropriate times, and she sounds completely bored when she’s doing that. #sigh

Bruno: “Great song, Jimmie. (*eyeroll*) It definitely got you tuned in and turned on. Couldn’t you feel the undercurrent of passion emerging, almost exploding?” (Um, no. To me, it didn’t feel passionate at all.) Carrie Ann: “That was amazing. That was the first time this season that I actually felt my heart attached to what you were doing. You just opened us all up. I could not take my eyes off of you. You had so much respect for the art form by the way you did every movement. I’m impressed with you. That was so beautiful.” Len: “Your footwork was a little bit hit and miss. Your upper body was really great. And the secret to this show: do better than you did the week before. And that’s what you just did.” Derek: “I wanna echo what they just said: the lower half, I could see you struggling a bit, but the upper half, beautiful arms. Powerful.”

JUDGES: 27 (Out of 40)

Alan and Amanda (Co-Host of “The Talk”), foxtrot

Amanda chooses to dance this foxtrot to her wedding dance song with her deceased husband, Nick. “It Had to Be You.”  They chose it because it was the song he sang to book “Bullets Over Broadway,” which was the Broadway show they met in. 

Alan got lucky this time, he got a real dancer. Beautiful foxtrot.

Carrie Ann: “Amanda, with all due respect, so much of your journey has had to do with Nick. But this is all about you. You are a star. That was like watching a Broadway musical built only around you. Those beautiful legs, those beautiful lines. The elegance, the strength, the milking of the moment.” Len: “I love that track, so that helps me. I liked it so much, I wanted it to go on a bit longer, if I’m honest. It was smooth. It was like butter on a hot muffin. Don’t keep kicking your legs up so much. Just cause you got ‘em doesn’t mean you’ve got to use them.” Derek: “Don’t listen to this guy. Use those beautiful legs. They are stunning, exceptional, exquisite. I honestly don’t know what to say, cause I was watching you. I was singing. It was so enjoyable to watch. You are just a vision.” Bruno: “Absolutely radiant. If you’ve got it, flaunt it.” 

The kicks that Len didn’t like.

JUDGES: 32 (Out of 40)

Jenna and JoJo (Popstar and TV Personality), cha cha

Once again, it’s amazing to watch them dance. They dance to “Rain on Me,” and it’s just fun stuff.

Len: “Well, I just saw, before this, my favorite ballroom dance of the season, and I’ve just seen my favorite Latin dance of the season.” Derek: “By the way, that’s all you need. Listen, JoJo, I love you so much. I love your performance, your energy. And I think with you, more is more, right? Sometimes, more isn’t more. You’ve got to contain that energy a little bit. It can get a little wild and lose the quality of movement. There’s an expectation, because you have a dance background. So I think we’re gonna be a little bit tougher on you. Think about that, moving forward. Have that control. Contain that energy.” Bruno: “So crisp, it was crackling. Full of vitality and zest. There was one thing. You have such a strong performance that you pop out of the screen. People are drawn to you. Is absolutely brilliant, what you do. He’s right: sometimes a bit of control. But fantastic job.” Carrie Ann: “It was like watching a dance off, but in all the good ways. Like you weren’t competing with each other, you guys just like outdoing each other, with all that energy. It’s still so new to watch it, I find myself just getting lost in the performance, and going: ‘Wow! This is so awesome.’ You are awesome. You guys are fantastic together.”

JUDGES: 31 (Out of 40

Daniella and Iman (NBA Champion), rumba

According to Maksim Chmerkovskiy (whose dance opinion I value greatly), Lady Daniella is the “queen of the rumba.” They dance to “You Know What’s Up,” by Donald Jones, which Iman says he loves. He’s says it’s on one of he and his wife’s favorite albums. 

Not only is it a great rumba, but the choreography really gets around the massive height differential in really creative ways. (As you can kinda see in the image above.) I loved it.

Derek: “Iman, what I love about you is you just look like you’re enjoying this. And it just makes me enjoy it, and everyone else watching enjoy it. It was just so smooth, so effortless. Dude, that deep lunge?” Bruno: “I really appreciate the work you put into this. You could really see you were trying to follow the melodic line of the music. Very very good work. You still have to work on your feet.” Carrie Ann: “You had more content this week, which was great for Len, but for me, I’m sorry. You have something special. They way you are so able to connect to that music. And you don’t care. You tell your story about what you’re feeling from that music, and to me, that is magic. So once again, that was magic.” Len: “I am smiling. I liked it. Don’t get excited. I didn’t like it that much, but I liked it. It’s a great improvement on last week.”

JUDGES: 25 (Out of 40)

Britt and Martin, cha cha

Poor Britt. To be saddled with such a dreadful partner. I feel sorry for her.

They are dancing to “Twist and Shout,” and I’m truly scared to watch this. Oh, good grief. Ugh. My eyes!

Bruno: “Technically, more content and more steps. Not always in the right ordcr, or have the right time, but definitely more. So, we are moving in the right direction.” Carrie Ann: “I’m just happy for you, because this week, you look like you had fun and you let loose. That’s what people attach to.” Len: “Let me first of all congratulate you, Britt, because I think you’ve done a sterling job working there on Martin. Martin, I can’t give it a big mark because it wasn’t that great.” Derek: “I love the opening James Brown move. I see you, with the footwork there. It was a lot of fun.” 

JUDGES: 15 (Out of 40)

So bizarre seeing a 3 from the judges. (Deserved though.)

Artem and Melora (“The Office” and “The Bold Type” Actress), rumba

Another bit of wisdom from Maksim Chmerkovskiy: the rumba is “the woman’s dance.” Not in this case. For the beginning of the dance, she stood behind Artem. I guess to emphasize the song, “All By Myself” that they were dancing to. But throughout, it certainly felt like Artem was leading and guiding, and she was overall very awkward.

Although I did love the costumes, and she looked very beautiful.

Carrie Ann: “That was very dramatic, sister. I loved it. You have such a knack for storytelling through your body. It’s not just in here (she motions to her face). You’re giving us all with every ounce of your body. Your arms are stunning. What I loved about that performance was it was so well-balanced.” Len: “Overall, it was easy like Sunday morning. However, Melora, you needed a little bit more hips going on, and Artem, I’d have liked a few more recognizable steps.” Derek: “Melora, I adore ya. You’re just so fun to watch. Your movement is beautiful, such quality to it. It has the right amount of resistance in it. Beautiful.” Bruno: “Beautifully acted. Much more centered.”

JUDGES: 27 (Out of 40)

Cheryl and Cody (Celebrity Fitness Guru), salsa

These are COVID times, and our dear Cheryl has gotten Covid. But the #DWTS rules state that the judges can judge from the taped performance from rehearsal. And so they did.

And this salsa was a damn sight better in rehearsal than anything Martin Kove did in performance, I’ll tell you. So I’m extremely glad that Cody is still in the competition with this tape. He was awesome, and would’ve been even better with costumes and lights and whatnot.

Just goes to show: give it your all in rehearsal, cause you never know!

Cheryl and Cody are isolating, because Covid. But they bring them in virtually for their scores.

Len: “May I first say, Cheryl, I wish you a really speedy recovery. That was full of razzle dazzle. A lot of salsa content, which I always like to see. It was crafted well, and it was danced well.” Derek: “Listen, for rehearsal, that was really really good. Obviously, there’s a little parts that are a little out of sync, but that’s what rehearsal is for. I can really imaginc that routine in the ballroom, with the lights, the costumes, you coming alive.” Bruno: “Yes, we really miss you in the ballroom, because that adds an extra layer to the performance. But even the Pepto-Bismol shoes could not take away from your talent.” Cheryl and Cody both laugh. Carrie Ann: “I was gonna say: Let that be a lesson to what you wear in rehearsal, right? Cody, it was a little bit lackluster, but that’s because you’re marking it, but we have to hold it to the standards of what everybody else is doing in the ballroom, so it was a good job. Lots of content, but you know, not fantastic.”

JUDGES: 24 (Out of 40)

Gleb (Season 28 Finalist) and Melanie C., foxtrot

Fun fact: she’s from an area outside of Liverpool, so it’s with special meaning that they are dancing to a Beatles’ song, “Here Comes the Sun.”

Let’s pause for a moment to applaud the tech people on this show, who created such a beautiful sun for us. This just took my breath away.

It was also for my money, every bit as captivating as Amanda’s foxtrot earlier, in some ways more so.

Derek: “Wow. Melanie, you are a gorgeous dancer. Just absolutely stunning. Beautiful resistance in your body. Just so clean, so effortless. You have a beautiful frame. I love watching you dance.” Bruno: “Melanie, my darling, you’ve never looked lovelier. I really was not expecting this. You managed to combine lyricism with dynamics. So clean, so centered. I can’t believe it. Fantastic.” Carrie Ann: “I loved seeing this side of you. There’s such beautiful elegance and refinement and softness. Trust yourself just a little bit more, because you’re a beautiful dancer.” Len: “As you came out, I was thinking of another Beatles song, “Please Please Me,” and you really did please me. This was not “A Hard Day’s Night,” it was good.”

Before the scores are given, we see a video from Ringo Starr, saying “Peace and Love” to Melanie, and wishes her all the best (because he’s from Liverpool too).

JUDGES: 30 (Out of 40)

Sasha (Season 29 Finalist) and Suni, cha cha

Courtesy of Just Jared, and ABC.

Sasha, in the package, tries to fight against the “no smiling” thing that gymnasts have, also the stuffing of one’s feelings. 

Wow! Could Sasha’s pants be any more sparkly?

That aside, I really loved this cha cha.

Bruno: “Going for gold again, are you? BTW, Sasha, those are mine. Suni, when you smile, you shine. Precise, clean. Dance is a performing art. Imagine yourself being a character. Make up a character, and play the character. Become someone else in each dance, because that is the key to project.” Carrie Ann: “I disagree a little bit. I would say, what I saw there was you starting to be a bit more you. And really sort of embracing yourself. I saw you gain confidence. As you gain confidence, the dance became bigger and better and better. I want you to go home, and I want you to watch that dance back. And I even bet next week is gonna be more amazing. Keep on this track.” Len: “Well, we had the lights, we had the cameras, and once you came out, we had the action. Really well danced. I thought you were coming out and performing much better.” Derek: “I feel like the character was Sassy Suni, out there dancing. Can we just talk about that flip, by the way? That’s crazy.”

JUDGES: 28 (Out of 40)

So, who’s going home? GUESS. Well, in all the years I’ ve been watching this show, I’ve never seen anyone have a deficit from 46 to 28 and NOT go home. There aren’t THAT many Cobra Kai fans to overcome this deficit.

But, OK, let’s walk through it. Who are the Bottom Two?

Astonishingly, it’s Pasha and Christine. Not astonishingly, it’s also Britt and Martin.

Who will the judges save? Hahahahahahaha.

OF COURSE, THEY SAVE:

Great final move in Pasha’s choreography.

MICHE’s Favorite Dances of Themeless Week Two

1. Sasha and Suni, cha cha

2. Cheryl and Cody, salsa 

3. Sharna and Brian, rumba

4. Val and Olivia, Viennese waltz

5. Daniella and Iman, rumba

6. Jenna and JoJo, cha cha

7. Pasha and Christine, salsa

8. Gleb and Melanie, foxtrot

9. Alan and Amanda, foxtrot

10. Brandon and Kenya, cha cha

Need to Go Home Soon

1. The Miz

2. Matt James

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