DWTS Week Three: Kicking Out the Old and Infirm

First, know this about me. I'm not going to cover every week of #DancingWithTheStars. Sometimes I'm just not inspired to, sometimes I am. So I'm bypassing Week Two.

Week Three, however...

Tony Dovolani and Leah Remini. Courtesy of ABC. (Adam Taylor)

There are certain truisms about some reality TV shows. The most obnoxious ones will always get kicked off of the island of Survivor first. The old, infirm and just can't dance will almost always get voted off of Dancing With the Stars first. This time, it was all three.

We are just now getting used to the new, leaner, meaner voting procedure. (IOW, our votes from LAST week and the judges votes from THIS week add up to who goes home. Sure, ok.)

In this case, poor Bill Nye, the science guy, did some major damage to his leg... and btw, it kills me how every time they are sitting in a doctor's office and the doctor says something akin to "you're gonna be paralyzed for life if you dance," and then we see the fools dancing anyway...but I digress.

Bill Nye couldn't dance, so his leg was made immobile, he was made to look like a robot and they danced anyway. And got voted out. Boo hoo. Bye bye.

Soon to be booted (one hopes, anyway) is the train wreck that is Valerie Harper and Tristan MacManus. Mind you, he's wonderful and oh so easy on the eyes... still. She simply cannot dance. Not one iota. Please make her leave soon.

Now that all that nonsense has passed, let's get to some of the other dancers (sorry Emma, I'm sure you're wonderful; and Tristan, here's hoping you get better partners someday).

This season makes me wonder if the pros have some kind of deal where they get two loser, can't dance troublemakers as their partners, by the third they have to get a real dancer or something. Cause Karina Smirnoff just couldn't be happier to have her partner, Corbin. But let's kid no one, he's a dancer. So, as has been said in other columns online, it kinda seems not really fair. Plus, there is no challenge to their dances. (Well, other than Karina's first contemporary, but that was HER challenge, not theirs.)

Karina Smirnoff and Corbin.

So, ok, Karina doesn't have some lunkhead football player to deal with. Karina's happy, I'm happy. I'm still not rooting for her this season.

As far as the bottom feeders, I actually enjoyed and voted for both Bill Engvall's Lone Ranger...

Bill Engvall and Emma

and Snooki and Sasha's one-handed cartwheel while holding hands...

Cause, you know, no one's really ever done that before (that I can remember).

But, oh, let's get to the dancers we are actually looking forward to, shall we?

Like this, as a palette refresher...

Peta and Brant do the quick step.

Still my favorite couple each week, it's just wondrous to see what Derek Hough does with boobs, I gotta tell ya (I say this as a big-boobed girl, not as any kind of insult to Amber). I promise you, they worked a motorboat into this routine. What a joy.

Derek Hough and Amber Riley do the Charleston.

However, I do worry about celebrities who have other shows to work on, and have to fly around the country being able to give themselves fully to this show. I loved Derek and Amber coming out of the gate, but I fear that may've been her best dance.

The two couples to watch out for, at least judging from this week, are the luminous and stunning Val and Elizabeth, who foxtrotted deliciously in Week Three.

Val Chmerkovskiy and Elizabeth Berkley foxtrot. A joy to watch.

And my favorite couple from this week (though I still can't figure out why Mark Ballas was wearing clown makeup... maybe an inside joke or something?). Anyway, their Charleston was superb, and my favorite dance of the week.

Christina Milian and Mark Ballas do a mean Charleston.

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