DWTS S025, Week 2, Night 1: Ballroom Dances, Boggles and Bumps in the Road

Week 2, Night 1 of Dancing with the Stars. This is our cast before any eliminations.

Night One is Ballroom Dances. Night Two is Latin Night. Both nights have someone going home.

First up on Night One, Debbie Gibson and new pro Alan Bersten dance a quickstep. She’s fine. Alan’s fine. I just wish they would both go away.

JUDGES’ SCORES: 20 (out of 30)

WWE wrestler Nikki Bella and Artem wanted to show “her softer side” with this waltz. The set designers used the La La Land trick of having stars everywhere, to nice effect.

JUDGES’ SCORES: 21 (out of 30)

The reason that I love Mark Ballas so much, and why this show has just ached from the void of him not being here, is that he is a breath of creativity and passion this show desperately needs. This shot, of him and Lindsey as caterpillars before they dance.

Which evolves, during the dance to this:

And I just want to give a shoutout right now to the amazing magicians who do stagecraft on DWTS. Wow. The things they create! Look at this. It looks like a Van Gogh painting! So beautiful.

And then, this:

Lindsey and Mark as butterflies. I mean, truly, we are not worthy of the creativity and genius that comes from this man, and this season, really, from both of them.

Len acknowledged that he “loved the creativity,” but admonished them for not being in hold for the entire quickstep.

JUDGES’ SCORES: 21 (out of 30)

DISCLAIMER: This show aired before the Harvey Weinstein news broke.

So, cougar and resident sexual predator Barbara Corcoran dances a tango with Keo to “Whatever Lola Wants (Lola Gets).” At the end, she rips Keo’s shirt open. (Although I do think it was funny that the lyrics to this song at the end say: “You’re not gonna win.”)

(You will recall that last week, as they were receiving scores, her hand was firmly planted on the inside of Keo’s thigh.) This week, as they are getting scores, Tom says: “Well, at least your hands are where we can see them.”

JUDGES’ SCORES: 17 (out of 30)

Peta and Nick Lachey dance a foxtrot to Barry Manilow’s “Mandy.” He (Manilow) Tweets in his congratulations and luck. And it was a very pretty dance. It was wistful and sad, like a first girlfriend dancing in your memory.

JUDGES’ SCORES: 19 (out of 30)

Drew had pulled a hamstring in rehearsal, so lucky for us the troupe got to add some texture to this quickstep. They dance to a familiar and beloved song, and there was some razzle dazzle at the end that just couldn’t be believed.

Carrie Ann, commenting first, as the swells of applause drown her out: “It was a showstopper. Look at this!”

Len the curmudgeon was less impressed. Bruno quite liked the Charleston parts near the end.

JUDGES’ SCORES: 20 (out of 30)

Vanessa Lachey and Maks dance a foxtrot that was more flash than content for me, but the judges seemed to love it. Everyone’s suffering from little aches and pains, and she was no exception.

JUDGES’ SCORES: 24 (out of 30)

In the pantheon of #DWTS, as long as I’ve been watching it, it is a fact that Mark Ballas almost never plays a song that I dislike. Whereas Witney Carson, 85% of the time, at least, plays songs I really dislike. I think I would really like her more as a dancer if she played better music.

She and Frankie dance a harsh tango to some harsh music. Bruno even commented on it: “If you listen to the beat of that track, it’s almost impossible to keep on it.” Carrie Ann: “You guys are this really powerful, dynamic couple.” Len: “I thought it was a little over-agressive.”

JUDGES’ SCORES: 23 (out of 30)

Terrell and Cheryl's foxtrot started like this.

And ended like this:

And yes, he was simulating grinding over her. Val C. was in the stands, covering his eyes.

In the middle, there was this:

Carrie Ann thought it was really hot. Len was incensed: “That was more bedroom than ballroom.” Bruno: “It was a sextrot, straight into the bedroom. But I am not complaining because you went into it very beautifully.” As he laughs.

JUDGES’ SCORES: 21 (out of 30)

Gleb, in past seasons, has taken a lot of grief for being overly sexual in all his dances, and not really incorporating the proper content into them.

Here, he does a Viennese waltz with Sasha Pieterse. Len still thinks he doesn’t have enough content in it, but somehow Sasha took that comment as a compliment. (He said that he wanted Gleb to have the proper amount of time in hold, and “come back and knock my socks off.”) But Carrie Ann told Sasha, “You are a star.”

JUDGES’ SCORES: 23 (out of 30)

Val and Victoria do a nice, well-choreographed (of course) tango. Victoria still has the Ginger Zee defect of smiling too much (you don’t smile in tango), and she doesn’t really have this whole concept of “a character” down yet, but it was fun to watch.

JUDGES’ SCORES: 24 (out of 30)

Sharna and Derek Fisher do a foxtrot, as his mother, a longtime DWTS fan, watches in the stands.

JUDGES’ SCORES: 19 (out of 30)

Our wunderkind Jordan Fisher danced a Viennese waltz with Lindsay Arnold on Week 2. Len complains that some of the movements are too staccato, and should be more lyrical. He said that Jordan should be more aware of “the character of the dance.” Bruno said that he “danced like a singer.” Carrie Ann wants to see “more ballroom nuances. I see lyrical jazz nuances.”

JUDGES’ SCORES: 24 (out of 30)

Going home on this night?

I can only say how glad I am that they never got to do a rumba.

MICHE’S FAVORITES OF WEEK 2, NIGHT ONE
1. Mark and Lindsey, quickstep
2. Lindsay and Jordan, Viennese waltz
3. Emma and Drew, quickstep
4. Sharna and Derek, foxtrot
5. Val and Victoria, tango
6. Cheryl and Terrell, foxtrot
7. Peta and Nick, foxtrot
8. Witney and Frankie, tango
9. Maks and Vanessa, foxtrot

PLEASE GO HOME
1. Debbie Gibson
2. Sasha Pieterse

TOMORROW NIGHT: Latin Night

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