DWTS Season 25, Week 1 A Crazy Mix of Folks

Twenty-five seasons of the show we love the most: Dancing with the Stars! How is that possible? Wow. Congrats, #DWTS. And who do we have on this season’s show? All of the people above! (Note: Mark Ballas is back! Cheryl Burke is back! YAY!)

Oh, you mean the celebs? The “stars”? Eh. Let's start at the beginning. Well, first, we inexplicably had Sharna (in her heels) and Alan walking in the desert. *head scratch*

Then, we had Len come from out of nowhere and save them. And then we had (finally) this GREAT Mandy Moore dance.

Boy, doesn't she know how to highlight what needs to be highlighted?

The first two dancers are the ones whom I think will go the distance: Lindsey Sterling (and her partner Mark Ballas) and Lindsay Arnold and Jordan Fisher. Then, Jordan throws his hat to the man who SHOULD'VE been here among the pros, but is still thankfully in the troupe: Sasha Farber.

And Sasha sorta introduces Sasha (Pieterse, that is) and Gleb. Then Nikki Bella and Artem. Val Chmerkovskiy leads us to Derek Fisher and his partner Sharna. Then, we have two baby carriages and two married couples. Nick and Vanessa Lachey dancing with Peta and Maks. Terrell Owens, dancing with Cheryl Burke. (BTW, they are all dancing to “Dancing in the Street,” and they are... in the street.)

Emma Slater (last season’s wondrous champ) dances next to a picture of her partner, Drew Scott of The Property Brothers, as noted Shark Barbara Corcoran comes out with a SOLD sign with her partner Keo.

All pros dance, to reveal Val Chmerkovskiy and his partner Victoria Arlen. Debbie Gibson dances with Alan. Witney and Frankie Muniz. Then, a massive crowd scene, as the premiere is known for. And they all start running, to be on the stage again. (Except now, Drew Scott is actually here.)

Thank you, Mandy Moore. That was AMAZING.

Tom Bergeron mentions how Mandy Moore just won an Emmy for her work on last season. Congrats to her. We love you, Mandy. You are a big part of what makes this show so great.

Wanna see the chaos of the first week of #DWTS? Here you go.

So let’s begin with all the competitive dancing of this mass of people.

And BTW, when did football players become “pro bowlers”? What are actual pro bowlers called then? But I digress...

First up, the wondrous and amazing Cheryl Burke and Terrell Williams (?), some football player dude.

They do a cha cha to “Ain’t Too Proud to Beg” (nice hearing more Motown after the Motown opener). (And welcome back, Miss Cheryl. We missed you!)

Tom mentions that ”our original three judges are back.” Len: “you really got the party started.”

JUDGES’ SCORES: 15 (out of 30)

Well, they do tend to start with low scores at the beginning, but 4s and 5s are the ones they really hate. So...

I gotta say, I have mixed feelings about this couple. First, it’s Debbie Gibson, who doesn’t even look like Debbie Gibson. Plus, although we’ve had people with one leg, various diseases and impediments, it’s really not disease of the week time. You don’t come on #DWTS because you found out you have a disease, especially a disease which causes you to not be able to move, which is what she says in her first package. That’s a disservice to the audience, IMHO.

Plus, we have Alan, who is likeable enough (in his first season as a pro), but I have a resentment because that really should have been Sasha Farber up there. So, let’s just say, I am already not liking this pair, and want them to exit as soon as possible.

Great costumes for this foxtrot. Oh, I guess she was dancing to one of her songs.

JUDGES’ SCORES: 17 (out of 30)

So this one, who is apparently on Pretty Little Liars, says that she wants to be on #DWTS because she’s getting married and wants to lose some weight. So go join a gym. What is wrong with these people?

They also have huge letters, spelling out SASHA on the stage, which, for me, only serves to underscore the SASHA who should be dancing right now, isn’t. :-(

Their cha cha is ok. Costumes and set are great.

JUDGES’ SCORES: 18 (out of 30)

They do a bit before the couple dances where they are polishing the Mirror Ball, and the other previous past winner (with Emma) Rashad Jennings comes up onstage and helps them polish it. Cute.

Gotta say, it is weird to see Drew without Jonathan. Also, in the opening package, he promises Emma that if they win the Mirror Ball, he’ll “come and renovate your kitchen.” Hahahaha. (We all know that Jonathan does all the renovation.) He also tells us that he has mad karate moves. Um... Ok...

Drew and Emma dance to Madness’ “Our House” (very funny). They do get props for picking great music. LOVE her dress. Great stuff.

JUDGES’ SCORES: 16 (out of 30)

Back when this was filmed, all the macking on Keo that she does in the package was called “entertainment.” Today, it might be called “sexual harassment.” But in any case, we have Barbara and Keo, attempting to do a salsa to “Shake Your Moneymaker.” The less said about all this, the better.

JUDGES’ SCORES: 14 (out of 30)

So, we go from the evening’s worst performance to the evening’s best. Jordan Fisher, late of “Hamilton” on Broadway, and Lindsay Arnold, who has placed fourth, then third, then second (last year)... and this year? From this first evening, and this first dance, I could totally see them winning it all. They are an incredible pairing.

The only thing about this: this dance was precise and they did the steps amazingly. However, there is zero sexual chemistry between them, and that's a problem with a sensual dance like the tango.

JUDGES’ SCORES: 22 (out of 30)

Then, we have this. The Married Couples.

First up, Peta and Nick do a cha cha.

Best thing about this cha cha? Sasha Farber’s also in it. And Nick has a great asset with two-time Mirror Ball winner Peta Murgatroyd.

JUDGES’ SCORES: 18 (out of 30)

OK. We get it, Vanessa. You’re a mom.

She comes out pushing this baby carriage. The song is “I’m a Mother.” And it’s a cha cha, just like Nick just did with Peta.

JUDGES’ SCORES: 21 (out of 30)

Erin tries to mention that that’s higher than Nick and Peta. Maks steps in and says that it’s not about the scores.

Tom Bergeron: “Wow. Maks got married, had a baby, and someone took his personality.”

Our little Frankie Muniz from “Malcolm in the Middle” is back to dance again!

Beautiful foxtrot. Just beautiful.

JUDGES’ SCORES: 19 (out of 30)

Nikki Bella, of WWE fame, is paired with Artem for this tango. Everyone seems so nervous tonight.

JUDGES’ SCORES: 20 (out of 30)

Derek Fisher, of late of the Los Angeles Lakers, dances salsa to a basketball song with Sharna Burgess. She ends it with her signature move, that she doesn't do with everyone, where her head almost hits the ground. Dramatic, but scary.

JUDGES’ SCORES: 18 (out of 30)

Victoria Arlen, who a year ago couldn’t walk, decides to do this show. She is paired with Val. They do an amazing cha cha, with incredible choreography by Val. Pink is her signature color.

JUDGES’ SCORES: 19 (out of 30)

Lindsay Stirling, famed electric violinist, is a creative mind to match Mark Ballas, and I don’t say that often. On this evening, I think they saved the best for last. They are amazing together. I have so missed Mark’s creativity and choreography on this show. So glad he’s back, and he and Lindsay did an amazing cha cha.

JUDGES’ SCORES: 22 (out of 30)

What a way to end this first show of the Season. Wow.

MICHE’S FAVORITES OF WEEK 1, SEASON 25
1. Lindsay Stirling and Mark Ballas, cha cha
2. Lindsay Arnold and Jordan Fisher, tango
3. Victoria and Val, cha cha
4. Vanessa and Maks, cha cha
5. Frankie and Witney, foxtrot
6. Derek and Sharna, salsa
7. Nick and Peta, cha cha
8. Drew and Emma, foxtrot
9. Cheryl and Terrell, cha cha

Look where her hand is! (No, don't look.)

Oh, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE go home now
1. Barbara and Keo
2. Debbie and Alan
3. Sasha and Gleb

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