DWTS Season 19: Alfonso and Witney Pull It Off

The last three standing of Season 19 of DWTS.

The dust has settled on Season 19 of Dancing with the Stars, and we have a winner. It was, quite possibly, the closest race ever. What it seemed like, to this viewer, was that there were a bunch of people who couldn't dance, and a bunch who were actual contenders. Once the former got weeded out, it was a cutthroat race amongst the latter. It was always very close among these, even right up to the end. For example, the finalists came down to judges' points like this: number 1 (Alfonso and Witney), 120; number 2 (Mark and Sadie), 118; number 3 (Val and Janel), 117. The 50% total of audience votes must have come out exactly the way the judges voted, because that is how the finalists ranked too.

There was a two-hour show on Monday night where we got to see what I would call some of the most amazing freestyle dances we have EVER seen. In fact, they were so great (uniformly) that the one the audience voted for as an encore was from Bethany and Derek (who weren't even in the final three).

The three hours of DWTS on Tuesday included a one-hour "Road to the Finals" program, more or less focusing on the final three. It promised to show us a lot of footage "never aired before," but I saw a lot of footage I'd seen before. The final two-hours included interminable recaps, and each competitor dancing one of their previous dances. (Yawn.) I would even say that of all the shows this season, the last three hours of Season 19 were the worst. (Perhaps if you hadn't seen the whole season and needed an update, you might've enjoyed it, but I'd been there, so I was mostly bored.)

I was correct in my assessment from last week that two of the people who HAD to be there were Mark/Sadie and Val/Janel. I was incorrect that the other one would be Derek/Bethany. It turned out to be Alfonso/Witney, who ended up winning.

Various comnmentators have referred to the Alfonso/Witney pairing as "the favorites," but that's not what I saw or experienced. Sure, when he danced The Carleton originally, he did have the country in the palm of his hand, also when he danced his first dance. But throughout the season, I would not say that statement was true.

On social media, I was much more aware of Mark and Sadie, Val and Janel and Bethany and Derek. In fact, I saw very little social media from Alfonso or Witney. So I'm not sure where this "favorite" business comes from.

For myself, I was torn between the lyric poetry of Val and Janel or the creativity and spark of Mark and Sadie, but after I saw the incredible mind-blowing Super Mario and the Princess videogame routine that Mark did as his freestyle, I was 100% convinced that Mark Ballas should be winning this season of DWTS.

Sadie and Mark as the Princess and Super Mario.

I don't really take the position of being entranced by the various competitors (as most people do). I am much more enthralled by the pros, they are what keep me coming back to my television screen season after season. And, at some point, the two individual people (celebrity and pro) gel as a dance team. That is what is exciting.

All four finalists were amazing to watch, especially in later episodes. Derek and Bethany were the fun couple, doing interesting, fun dances. Val and Janel had this palpitating sexiness that permeated all their numbers. Alfonso and Witney had some fun numbers, which for me, gravitated too much to hip hop music. Maybe that's why I didn't like them as much overall.

But for me, Mark Ballas' choreography and creativity are what stood out to me the most about this season. Dance after dance after dance. He said later that he found it to be his favorite season ever. I thought his dances were just far and away better than anyone else's. Far and away.

From the buoyant joyousness of Up, to the cowboy country number, to the stunning threesome with Emma (Can't Take My Eyes Off You), to his fantastic Argentine tango (with guitar), to this indelible freestyle, his muse was on it this season. Truly like never before (that I've seen). I will remember his dances from this season for a long time to come.

Super Mario and the Princess. Amazing.

And when he didn't win, after all that, I was, frankly, crushed. As crushed as I was when the judges gave his brilliant Halloween number bad scores.

Sadie and Mark paso doble (with flamenco touches). Bad scoring from the judges on this one.

In comparison, Alfonso and Witney had the Carleton dance, their Batman and Robin, the first dance which blew us all away, and that stunning Turn Down for What threesome. The rest didn't do much for me. Certainly weren't as memorable as any of Mark's dances, or any of Val's sexy numbers, or even as much as Derek's stunning dances.

This was the best moment in this Goldmember number. 

This season of DWTS was supposedly the lowest rated, which is sad, because the pros and what they present to us just keeps getting better and better. There was a new energy with the new showrunner and director, and Erin Andrews was a wonderful change.

Next season, we will have no Len and no Cheryl Burke. I suspect, though it hasn't yet been announced, that Julianne Hough will be Len's replacement, and if that's true, I'm glad for it. She was a good judge this season. Plus, Bruno and Carrie Anne are so wacky that sometimes Carrie Anne falls right off her chair. It was good to have Julianne bringing some gravitas to these crazies. I wanna know (from a professional's perspective) why a dance was good, and what could make it better.

From a production standpoint, I really liked the multi-camera viewpoints that were new this season, showing backstage in several areas. It really helped to know what was going on during a show. I'm pretty social media and tech savvy, but I didn't once check out their behind the scenes interview thing. Maybe some people did. Personally, I'd prefer to know what's going on, you know, on the show.

The whole stage area seemed to be utilized to greater effect this season than ever. My favorite moment of that was when host Tom Bergeron ziplined across the stage. Just cause.

Costumes seemed to be better. There were a few garish missteps, but no major travesties with celebrities getting entangled with them or tripping on long gowns.

We were graced, this season with three near-impossible things to pull off: the Singin' in the Rain number, the West Side Story tribute and the Nintendo game freestyle. It is a testament to this show (and Derek, Val and Mark's talents) that they were able to finally get these clearances, and in these cases, deliver amazing dances which honored and respected the original artforms.

What I would wish for (if I had these powers) would be to have Derek be the creative visionary of this show (which he is), and have Mark Ballas be the musical visionary. He has consistently used music which goes above and beyond, always fits the dances. It still seems like music for this show is all over the place. Sometimes really crappy, sometimes sublime. There needs to be someone (of Mark Ballas' calibre) who takes a handle on that. The dance he did for his Halloween number was of the sublime variety. Perfect and wonderful, and very theatrical. I don't know if the "celebrities" have any hand in picking the music, but they shouldn't. This show would be infinitely better if there was someone else who had a consistent hand in music selection. None of this "I'm going to dance to a number my husband wrote" crap that we've had in past seasons. Or even all the heavy-handed hip hop things that Alfonso danced to. The music should fit the dance, or at least fit the show (or both, ideally).

Derek did "All About the Bass" with Bethany before I'd even heard of the song, and although I didn't appreciate "Turn Down for What" at the time, it was also a timely song. Sure, if it motivates the celebrity, great. But for heaven's sake, make it a good (or great!) song.

Alfonso and Cheryl Burke do flamenco. Courtesy of ABC.

Cheryl Burke will indeed be missed. There are a few pros which are the backbone of DWTS. Maksim Chmerkovskiy was one, and he is now gone from the show. Cheryl leaving is going to be a major blow. She just kept getting better and better and better. But I think a dance show really only thrives by adding new blood.

Allison Holker and Keo Motsepe were welcome additions this season. I hope they will be back.

But it's a dicey business, being a pro on this show. It almost seems like you need pros who are sympathetic and able to handhold whiny celebrities at the beginning, who can also morph into creative geniuses carrying off grand visions by the end. Or at least pace the celebrities so that they can make it to the end.

And you need pros who are enough stars in their own right to carry off conversations and make a show interesting. Some are ready, some are not. Sasha Farber? Maybe not. Jenna? Maybe so. Artem? Still not sure on that one. You don't want pros who shine too much, and leave their celebrity behind in the dust. Although in the end, I was rooting for Lea and Artem, so maybe they do work it out.

Alfonso and Witney FTW.

I have to say, at the beginning of the season, I didn't think Witney Carson had the chops to make it to the end and win. I was wrong. She was a damn fine dancer and choreographer. She even shone when she had to dance with the race car driver. I'm really glad that someone other than Derek won this time.

But still, when I think of the dances that make me swoon of Season 19 of Dancing with the Stars, it's mostly going to be the ones from this guy.

Mark and Sadie and Emma do a threesome that was breathtaking.

Thank God that Mark Ballas is in the world, creating poetry on DWTS. We are all so very lucky for that, even if, this time, he didn't win.

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DWTS Week 9:Trios and Tangos and Flight Attendants, Oh My!

Sadie and Mark Ballas and Emma perform a trio foxtrot. Stunning. Courtesy of ABC.

If you've never seen Dancing with the Stars before and wonder what all the fuss is about, or if you want to see an episode where all the dances are great, Season 19's Week 9 (last week) is one for you.

Wow. Wow. Wow, was it an amazing week!

First, sadly, Lea Thompson ended up being the one sent home. And it was sad, because FINALLY, in this week, the promise of the Lea/Artem pairing finally showed itself. They have never danced better together (both in the individual dance and the trio), and Artem's choreography really shone, and showcased Lea. It was phenomenal. If they had danced like this all along, they could've won this thing. It's always sad when that happens in Week 9.

Artem and Lea and Henry do their trio. Courtesy of ABC.

They finally break through, it finally clicks, and they get sent home. *sigh*

But really, at this point, other than Tommy Chong, everyone left is an amazing dancer, and it's going to be some mighty fine dancing from here on out. And on the subject of Tommy Chong, let me just say this...

Peta and Tommy and Sharna do a devilish trio. Courtesy of ABC.

This was arguably the hottest number in all of Season 19 so far. So salacious, so amazing, so wonderful. It's really no surprise that Tommy Chong is still here. America loves him. I love him and want him to still be there. Cause we get wondrous creations like Chong Air.  Oh my! *fans self*

(He also did a Viennese waltz with Peta which was pretty amazing.)

So, let me backtrack a bit. Week 9, everyone did a dance with their partner (all of which were great in their own right). Then, everyone did a trio dance "with a pro who had been voted out, or a member of the troupe." The trio dances this time were phenomenal. Across the board. One more stunning than the next. None MORE stunning than the one that I led this story with. But we'll get to that. Kind of shocking that we had no Cheryl or Karina or Allison chosen for the trios. But we do have four women left, and two men. Usually men are chosen to dance with the women stars, and women are chosen to go with the male stars. We had a little upset with that predictable pattern this time, leading to some incredible results.

But first, let's look at the individual dances.

My favorite among them was this one.

Bethany and Derek did a stirring, emotional Viennese waltz.

Derek's choreography, as usual, was stunning. Bethany was never more vulnerable. Just such a beautiful dance.

Mark Ballas and Sadie had a jive which rocked the house. (My 2nd favorite dance.)

Mark Ballas and Sadie jive. Courtesy of ABC.

Mark's choreography (always, but especially this season) just blows my mind. They did this jive "competition style," even incorporating their voting number on his back. Nice.

It is at this point that I must commend the amazing artistes who created the costumes for this episode. Without exception, they were stunning. Some were even more stunning than others. This one, for example.

Janel and Val do a quickstep. Courtesy of ABC.

Man. Just beautiful work. (The costumes and the dance.) This quickstep was my third favorite. And seriously, already at this point in the show, I am just marveling at how amazing the choreographers are. Such incredible, beautiful work (consistently from Val). Detailed, intricate, stunning.

Witney and Alfonso do a foxtrot. Courtesy of ABC/Dancing with the Stars.

Alfonso and Witney kicked off the quarterfinals with their foxtrot. The theme of these individual dances was supposed to be "what America wants." More or less, whoever responded to questions on DWTS' Facebook page about it. (A lame theme, perhaps the lamest of all season.) The dances, however, were anything but lame.

We are getting down to number five out of six on my list, and they are all still amazing dances. This samba that Lea did had her in this sex kitten outfit doing things over Artem's face that poor Sadie will only be able to dream about. For like a couple decades. Rawwwwrrrrr... Unbelievable and incredibly sexy.

The personification of cougar. Artem and Lea do a samba.

Even Tommy and Peta's Viennese waltz was watchable and fun.

MICHE'S FAV INDIVIDUAL DANCES
1. Derek and Bethany (Viennese waltz)
2. Mark and Sadie (jive)
3. Val and Janel (quickstep)
4. Witney and Alfonso (foxtrot)
5. Artem and Lea (samba)
6. Peta and Tommy (Viennese waltz)

BUT THEN....

The roof blew off the joint. Everyone did trio dances. Maybe it's just cause I like threesomes... I dunno, but I have always really loved the trio dances. It's my favorite part of the season. This time did not disappoint, either.

Lea and Artem's paso with Henry continued on the wild sexuality she expressed in her individual dance, and really made me want this team to stick around longer.

Tommy and Peta's samba with fellow Aussie Sharna ("Chong Air") was just jaw-droppingly brilliant. And funny, and sexy. Way sexy. Like an Austin Powers fever dream, in dance.

Alfonso and Witney and Lindsey's paso came out of the gate with a bang. You just didn't want it to end. Powerful and passionate. Turn down for what? Indeed.

Tony and Bethany and Derek do an Argentine tango trio. Courtesy of ABC/Dancing with the Stars.

Bethany and Derek and Tony did a stunning Argentine tango, so incredible after how soft and vulnerable her previous dance was.

Val and Janel, dancing salsa with pro Keo, did a tribal power dance (with great salsa content).

But it was (again) Mark Ballas who took my prize for best trio dance. Again, he created a compact, easy to understand story. Mark and Emma, the couple, set out to dance. Mark is taken with the beauty of Sadie, and can't stop dancing with her. Emma was an unusual choice, perhaps, since the stars don't usually dance with pros of their same sex, but "all the other men were taken," so Mark had to work around it, ended up creating (to my eyes) the most wonderful dance of the night. Stunningly beautiful.

And, in as much as there was acting involved (and there was some), Emma was just perfect. Mark, perfectly balancing the fact that the spotlight should be on Sadie, and not the skilled pro Emma (which is very tough to do when you have a pro dancing). If you watch one dance from this evening, seek out this one.

MICHE'S TRIO DANCE RATINGS
1. Sadie and Mark and Emma (foxtrot, "Can't Take My Eyes Off You")
2. Alfonso and Witney and Lindsey (paso doble, "Turn Down for What")
3. Bethany and Derek and Tony (Argentine tango, "Into the Jungle")
4. Tommy and Peta and Sharna (samba, "Talk Dirty to Me")
5. Lea and Artem and Henry (paso doble, "Black Betty")
6. Val and Janel and Keo (salsa)

Honestly and truly, at this moment, I do not know who I want to win. But there are some factors at play.

So, let's take a look at the upcoming battles.

MARK BALLAS AND SADIE
PROS: Mark Ballas, even more than Derek Hough, has this season been knocking it out of the park, dance after dance. He has not been scored high enough (IMHO). His genius of creativity has been on full display, as he has created dance after stunning memorable dance. He deserves to win another Mirror Ball, and it's been awhile since his last one.
CONS: Sadie. To my eyes, her conservatism and unwillingness to wear appropriate dancer costumes has really held her back, and could very well keep her from the big win. Also, I don't think America is as in love with her as they are with some others.

DEREK HOUGH AND BETHANY
PROS: Derek is one of the geniuses of this show. His choreography is breathtaking, and he always takes stunning chances. Bethany is a beautiful partner.
CONS: Derek just won. And just won before that. He needs to sit down this time. I'd really rather have Singin' in the Rain be Derek's moment from this season.

WITNEY CARSON AND ALFONSO
PROS: Alfonso knocked it out of the park on his first dance this season, giving us the impression there were no other competitors. There are moments when he and Witney just take my breath away.
CONS: The rest of the season has really been up and down and all over the place (bad music choices, less than perfect dancing). Also, does Witney really have the choreography chops to compete against Mark and Val and Derek, who are doing some of their best work this season?

PETA MURGATROYD AND TOMMY
PROS: I could seriously see this man winning the Mirror Ball. Don't laugh. America loves him, and refuses to let go. Peta is an incredible choreographer, and her beauty and sassiness do often cover Tommy's lack of dancing ability. His trio dance with Peta and Sharna proved he is a showman and an entertainer, and that could take him all the way to the end.
CONS: The man truly cannot dance. He's always forgetting his steps and bumbling all over himself. But then, he's 78 years old.

VAL CHMERKOVSKIY AND JANEL
PROS: Val has never won a Mirror Ball before. His choreography is top-notch stunning. His choreography can knock it out of the park. Janel is a willing and beautiful partner. Sentimental Chmerkovskiy double-header.
CONS: He doesn't seem as laser-focused on the win (as, say, Mark Ballas is this season). Janel isn't America's sweetheart, the way Bethany is.

Val and Janel and Keo do a salsa.

Any of these people, and I'm not kidding, ANY of these people could win. If I had to give the edge to anyone, I'd say Mark Ballas and Sadie for the win, because his choreography has never been better, and that's pretty amazing to watch. However, the judges have not been good to him this season, for whatever reason, and young Sadie may not be up to the challenge.

My second favorite to win would be Val, cause it would be so nice to see a Chmerkovskiy double-feature (Val winning for the first time right after Maks (Maksim C, Val's brother) won his first one).

But I'm not kidding that I think Tommy Chong could also win. Those same people who voted Jesse Ventura (or Arnold Schwartzenegger) governor are sitting by their phones. Heh, heh, heh. Yeah. Tommy Chong. 76-year-old Tommy Chong to win Dancing with the Stars. That'd be good. *snicker, snicker* I could totally see it. Whatever happens, it's sure going to be fun to watch the next few episodes.

Tommy Chong and Peta Murgatroyd do a Viennese waltz. Courtesy of ABC.

I also want to shout out to the other talented craftspeople on this show: the hairstylists (especially Sadie's hair in the trio dance), the camera people (really nice shot of Sadie crying on Mark's shoulder). Also the three camera shot of people getting ready is a really nice touch. All in all, the craftspeople were at the top of their game on this episode in particular. Stunning dresses on Emma and Sadie, and Janel earlier. So so much good stuff in this episode, you really should check it out. This is a great example of why we watch.

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My Favorite DWTS: Week 4

Sadie (of Duck Dynasty) and Mark Ballas wow the crowd.

My favorite dances on Dancing with the Stars involve some combination of these things: a dance which incorporates the required number of content elements, something which addresses the theme in some way, elegance of choreography: all of which together create dance magic before us.

Usually, Derek Hough's dances have all of these things, which is also why he has won most often. But also usually, so do Mark Ballas' dances. These are dances, which at the end, leave you with your mouth hanging open, just saying: WOW. This week was one of those.

The theme of Week 4 of DWTS was My Favorite Year (as it usually is). We had the usual ones: my favorite year being when I got my big break on whatever show, or when my parent (or loved one) died or was born, yadda yadda. Bethany had a moving one with the theme of: "I thought I was ugly, but really I'm not." (A new one on these shows, admittedly.)

For me, there were really two dances which went beyond the pale this week. I am now eating my words about Alfonso getting back to the top of the leaderboard. Sheesh. When that man tries! Wow. Course, he had a built-in audience-pleasing factor: the Carleton.

I never watched the show (The Fresh Prince of Bel Air)  in its heyday, but apparently "the Carleton" dance was a thing. And people, apparently, have been clamouring, ever since they knew he was going to be on DWTS, to see him incorporate it in some way. My Favorite Year seems the perfect place to do so.

Alfonso and Witney did not disappoint this week. Wow.

But despite those two dances which really blew my mind (Alfonso again taking the top of the leaderboard this week), these two were not my FAVORITE dance. That honor belonged to this:

Val and Janel doing the sexiest, steamiest rumba you're gonna see this season (although Cheryl and Antonio were also pretty hot recently). It was just beautiful and it kicked everything off. And more and more, Val and Janel are my favorite couple.

However, we also had this (the couple who actually received the most votes from me this week): Peta and Tommy Chong, dancing to Jailhouse Rock. With Peta as a policeman. With fishnets. It so worked for me, on so many levels.

And unlike another older contestant, Tommy Chong just keeps getting better each week.

Wanna know who was voted out this week? (Well, you probably already know, but it was:)

She was a little bit wacky, our Miss Betsey, but I did enjoy her dances, and the music she chose. Gonna miss her (in some ways). Also really gonna miss Tony. He's always fun and inventive.

That leaves at the bottom (literally and in my opinion) Michael and Emma (whom I thought would be leaving this week) and Jonathan and Allison. I really like Allison and I was rooting for her, but WOW was the dance they did this week terrible! No through line. More content, yay! But just awful to watch. And I had been so focused previously on her choreography missteps that I didn't before realize that Jonathan is actually a pretty bad dancer (compared to his competition, especially). So they will be going home soon (unless she really turns it around somehow). 

I hated almost everything about this dance. Except that it did have a lot of samba content. But the music was DREADFUL, the set and costumes were garish and horrible. It was just painful to watch. Just to clarify that I'm not the only one who thought this, they scored the lowest on this week. Even Betsey and Tony (who went home) got better scores on this night. Ouch.

And it's strange, because I really didn't love the music that Mark Ballas chose for his and Sadie's number. I would never listen to it on my own, and it's not even the type of music DWTS normally plays. But it fit. It was of a piece with the rest of what he was doing as a choreographer, and I think that is the difference. His choices were sublime, hers were... UGH.

I mean, I hate to say this, but I just don't think she gets what DWTS is about, exactly. She seems bound and determined to stay on her own path, and that road is currently leaving off the show soon, and that makes me sad. It really does. Her dance to Sia's music was brilliant, because she had none of these constraints. But darlin', that is what you signed up for: to choreograph these dances for these people in this way.

I do kinda get the feeling now that she never really watched this show before. Maybe she signed on cause she knew all the other choreographers, even having worked with some.

I think people may look at DWTS from the outside and dismiss it simplistically as just another reality dance show, but it really is a very complex, layered thing. 

Take Mark Ballas' amazing dance this week, in comparison. The theme was "My Favorite Year." His partner, Sadie, chose the year she first appeared on Duck Dynasty. Sure, lots of celebrities take that route. (Alfonso essentially did the same thing. Lea had done her homage to Back to the Future the week before, so she could do a more poignant dance this week.)

What can one do with Duck Dynasty? And the dance Mark chose was samba? Duck Dynasty and samba? HUH? What can one do with that?

Well, Mark took the time-honored pairing of a hunter and a duck (man vs. animal). He was the hunter, and Sadie (of course) was the duck. She was resplendent in her feathers. He was all bearded out, like the other male members of Duck Dynasty (some of them even onstage with him). And within that (up and around and over that), he wove together a samba which touched on all the content that the judges were looking for, as well as making a statement about Duck Dynasty, using a song which has LYRICS about Duck Dynasty. Boom, boom, boom. He hit every beat.

It was frikkin' beautiful. It was stunning and magical, and I don't even like Duck Dynasty.

That is, ultimately, how you do this: content (of whichever dance you are doing) + theme + stunning choreography + heart (if you can manage it). Making a statement through choreography, which Allison seems so badly to want to do. I suggest she really pore over tapes of Mark Ballas' dance this week for how to do this show right (and still maintain your edge as a choreographer). Now mind you, a winning (as in ALL 10s) dance has to have one more thing: it has to sweep away the audience and the judges, so that they are compelled to give it tens.

Sadly, Mark Ballas' dances too often don't get the 10s they deserve (he didn't with this, garnering only 37 out of 40, and it was brilliant). But, for my money, he's the most artistic choreographer on this show, and I so appreciate him for that. But Derek's Singin' in the Rain last week, Val's West Side Story last week, and Alfonso's Carleton (to Tom Jones' "It's Not Unusual") were those showstoppers that garner 10s.

Derek's dance this week, although using poignant subject matter, was almost like a rest after what must have been immense stress from doing Singin' in the Rain. It really did nothing for me. Good thing Len was gone this week. 

Oh, and another thing. They've been having all these hokey guest judges standing in while Len is out of the country. (Last week, comedian Kevin Hart, next week Jazzy J or someone...). This week, blissfully, they let "America" vote in a new system where (well, let's just say the EAST COAST, anyway) voted right after they saw the dance. Cause they announced America's vote when they announced the judges' votes (and I know we West Coasters see it later than the East Coast). Nonetheless, it cut down on all the judges' chatter, which seemed to be dragging the show down (with four judges). "America" says nothing, just votes. I liked it immensely.

And AMERICA gave "the Carleton" a 10 also! It was awesome.

Miscellaneous notes about Week 4: Erin just looked spectacular. The most fun thing was when everyone on the balcony started doing the Carleton. Sharna choreographed a wonderful opening number. And the second most fun thing was the dance where Karina's crotch ended up in Keo's face, which Tom (ever quick on his feet) called, "a great getting-to-know-you dance."

 BTW, Val kept referring to his dance last week as "The West Side Story." It's actually called "West Side Story." (Unless he was adding a "The" to the title so it wouldn't be confused with... um, you know... that other one... In which case, that was brilliant.)

Lea and Artem scored high, but their dance also did nothing for me. Beautiful to watch, and I could tell it moved her quite a bit, but... eh... (Sometimes contemporary works for me, often it doesn't.)

Antonio's first job in NYC was a little Janet Jackson video that you may've seen. It was fun to revisit that, as well. And Cheryl makes a great Janet Jackson!

When is Len coming back? Next week, right? Next week (ooh, let's hold our breath!) is also "the Switch Up." The week that all the pros hate, and usually leaves the celebrities wanting to RUN back to their partners. Fun. Can't wait. Meanwhile, let's do the Carleton again... do it with me...

The Carleton, to Tom Jones' "It's So Unusual"

MICHE'S TOP DANCES WEEK 4

1. Val and Janel (rumba)

2. Mark and Sadie (samba)

3. Alfonso and Witney (jazz and "the Carleton")

4. Tommy and Peta (jive)

5. Antonio and Cheryl (samba)

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The Dimple Season of DWTS (19) Kicks Off with a Rousing Number from Carlton

Alfonso and Witney wowed us the first week of Season 19.

DISCLAIMER: For the last several seasons, my blog posts about DWTS have been filled with gorgeous promotional pictures from the ABC website. To my mind, they both illustrated the lovely dances we were seeing, and mostly, promoted DWTS every week. For whatever reason, last season, ABC's posting of pictures was sporadic, and I ended up having to get a lot of them from On the Red Carpet.com (a sister ABC site). This year, all of that seems gone. For whatever reason, DWTS pictures do not seem available from Week 1 (unless you have something like this, which someone obviously took from their TV). Not my first choice. I would love to have proper pictures through the proper channels to illustrate the stories and the dances, but it doesn't seem to be happening this season. So I may have stories with only text. Sorry about that, readers. I'll do the best I can.

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Season 19 has kicked off. Well, in some cases, limped off, but in any case, it's begun. We have our usual collection of motley folk, some athletes, some stars that you've totally forgotten about, some teen things. Yawn.

We also still have Tom Bergeron and Erin Andrews (yay!). We have our three regular judges (Carrie Ann Inaba, Bruno Tonioli, Len Goodman) with the addition of Derek's sister, Julianne Hough, to help with the judging. We also, before I get into the meat of the dancing (I'm looking at you, Antonio Sabato, Jr.), some housekeeping details. We have a new showrunner and director this year. We shall see how that plays out, when the man we had for six years isn't there to guide the ship. So far, we've seen some pretty bad camerawork and artistic choices.

For example. They have four judges now, yet have a configuration where when the votes are given, you can only see THREE of them. Lame, people. Get some professionals to do this, please. Countless really bad camera shots... where you'd only see half of Tom Bergeron as he was talking, where the star isn't even in frame, just amateur stuff. Hope they fix that, and FAST.

Also, inexplicably, for one of the contestants, we didn't get to hear Bruno's vote explanation. Sure, running short on time? Just lop off one of the judges' comments. WHAT? You have four judges now. I want to see all of them, and hear what EACH of them has to say about each contestant. Really... is that so hard?

Oh, but let's start at the beginning, shall we? The show kicked off with a taped bit showing you everyone who's on the show. OK, I'm thinking, they are doing away with the personal introduction of everyone. But no, they have that TOO! Fun.

They also have their two days back! Mondays are the main deal (2 hours), and Tuesdays are eliminations (1 hour). We'll see how it goes. (I'm not covering the second night this week, other than to say that someone, either camera person or director or choreographer doesn't seem to like Karina Smirnoff very much because in the big dance sequence, she was totally out of view of the camera. She's one of the STARS, people. Put her front and center, please! Karina and Cheryl are who we want to see, not all these new blonde dancers. Sheesh.)

So, to our motley collection of dancers/stars. Let's talk about the ones who need to go right away: Lolo & Keo (love Keo, so it's too bad) and Betsey & Tony. Also sad, because I do love to watch Tony dance, but Betsey is crazy. And can't dance. Neither can Lolo. Enough about that. (Indeed, Lolo & Keo were the first couple eliminated.)

Hedging closely into this group is Michael somebody (a racecar driver) who compared himself to Bill Engvall. Dude, you don't deserve to wear Bill Engvall's dancing shoes, and you are not going to last anywhere near as long as he did.

Comic relief is present with Tommy Chong, who could flame out fast, or surprise us and pull an Engvall. Jury is still out on that one. But as long as he lasts, Tommy Chong is darn fun to watch with Peta. And his buddy Cheech showed up to give moral support.

Two others who I'm not sure about (they could go either way) are Tavis & Sharna and Randy & Karina. Love these women, and they can both make things happen, but these two guys are still big question marks.

So that leaves this list.

DWTS WEEK ONE (Miche choices based on dances)
1. Alfonso and Witney
2. Janel and Val
3. Bethany and Derek
4. Lea and Artem
5. Jonathan and Allison
6. Antonio and Cheryl
7. Sadie and Mark

In all honesty, those seven are our competitors. One of these seven shall win this season. We shall see how a season of injury, stress, constant new dances, etc. wears on them all. Based on the first week, Alfonso and Witney are really going to be hard to catch. This man was polished. Blew everyone else away. Great way to end the first show of the new season.

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