DWTS Week Eight: It's All About Cher

Mark Ballas dancing to a Cher number. Courtesy of ABC/Adam Taylor

Let me say this about that. Cher is a terrible judge for Dancing with the Stars. Perhaps the worst judge they've ever had. I truly hope they never have her return in that capacity.

That said, it was cool to hear so many songs of hers and the dancers all dancing to her songs.

The worst offenders of the “trying too hard to please Cher” syndrome, were, sadly, one of my favorite couples, who gave us this:

Elizabeth Berkley and Val Chmerkovskiy. Courtesy of ABC/Adam Taylor.

It was, sad to say, my least favorite of their dances. (The sexy half-naked Val notwithstanding.)

This, on the other hand, was one of my favorite dances of the night:

Bill Engvall and Emma Slater

Where Bill actually did sexy moves like this:

Bill and Emma

Wonderful stuff!

Leah Remini also did some stuff, but since it was mostly sucking up to Cher, and Cher sucked as a judge, I’m just going to leave it all out here.

And in the category of “Couple You Don’t Expect, Doing Great Things,” we had this.

Cheryl Burke and Jack Osbourne

Jack and Cheryl, oh my God! Jack and Cheryl! This dance of theirs was mind-blowing. My favorite of theirs so far.

Cheryl reminding us, of course, that she was actually named cause her mom liked Cher.

But my favorite dance of the night, saved for last, was the stunning dance Derek Hough and Amber Riley put together.

Let me set the scene a bit. It starts with some sailors in uniform.

Derek Hough, Amber Riley and the troupe

She picks one out, and starts to disrobe him.

Is it getting a little steamy in here yet? Oh yes, it is...

The hottest of a hot dance with Amber Riley and Derek Hough.

Did you notice she’s wearing leather? And afterwards, Bruno noted that she took the normal “guy’s part” (she took the lead). Oh yes, she certainly did. And it was wonderful.... AHEM. Glad they saved it for last. 

Sadly, our hot little twosome (that would be Brant and Peta, not Derek and Amber) got sent packing tonight. :-(

Peta Murgatroyd and Brant D. get sent home.

And I'll leave you with, no not another shot of Val and/or Derek shirtless, as nice as they may be... no, my favorite part of this season: Bill Engvall, in his signature move. Enjoy!

Bill Engvall and Emma Slater, one of my favorite couples this season.

And here, Bill Engvall discovers that he and Emma are safe for another week. I was just about as glad as he is, believe me. Keep voting for Bill!

Bill, Emma, Cheryl Burke, Tom Bergeron, Jack Osbourne

Oh, and lastly, if you think Dancing with the Stars is all about hunky man meat (well, it is)... there is also this. (Note the creepy Wizard of Oz-y Cher hangings. Yikes.)

Sharna (dark hair) and other troupe dancers do a break.

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