The show opens with a quick cut of sports stuff, and the Athletes talking about how they want to win. (Well, of COURSE they do. They are athletes.)
Then everyone comes out with their partners, and the lovely and wonderful Emma Slater introduces her former partner, Rashad Jennings, who is guest judging this time (by tweaking his tie). (Still bummed about her leaving so damn soon.)
Tom marvels about how we have already reached the halfway point of the season (at the opening of Episode Two). (Technically, that’s not true until the END of the show.) He also mentions how we are doing Team Dances (for gosh sakes) in this episode. WHAT? :-0
Josh and Sharna, paso doble
They are doing a paso doble to the theme song from Mask of Zorro, and they are practicing for it out on a farm, with horses. Um, ok. (His farm in South Carolina.)
First of all, LOVE THEIR COSTUMES. Stunning.
Second, from the first move, their lines are incredible. Truly an artform. Sharna had them hold a dynamic pose, as the camera circled around. Beautiful.
The “bad guys” in Sharna’s choreography are mostly women (love that!) Josh does look pretty darn dashing in his hero’s outfit.
Great stuff.
Tom calls it “a dynamic start to the night.”
Rashad: “Be honest. You never thought being on the gridiron, football...translating to the ballroom would be so difficult. Never in a million years did you think it would be that hard. (Josh shakes his head no.) But you came out, you did it first. You came out of the tunnel like you do, you came out on the football field like you do, and take control. You did it on the ballroom tonight, and I’m proud of you. You did a great job.” Len: “I was expecting a little dip in the standards of the dancing tonight, because you’ve got two dances to do. That puts a lot of pressure on you. Last week, you did a terrific cha cha cha. You’ve come out and done an equally good paso doble. Full of aggression, full of attack, and I’m full of admiration.”
Bruno: “I loved the strength and the power, and you just went for it. The sculptural shapes were great. You have to sustain the lines all the time. Great performance.” Carrie Ann: “You and Sharna, the opening game in both of your performances so far has been strong. That pose... people don’t understand. You weren’t still. You were so alive in that full pose, which is what’s so great about the paso doble, and what you need. You were very grounded. You were very effective. You were very passionate.”
JUDGES’ SCORES: 30 (out of 40)
Tom mentions another double elimination. Ugh.
Jennie and Keo, cha cha
One of the biggest problems that I think Keo has on this show is that he doesn’t really understand what he’s supposed to do with his partners. On the spectrum from most understanding and incorporating of a person’s essence (Sasha Farber), Keo is the opposite end of the spectrum. He never plays to the person’s strengths (or needs). He just does his own thing, and drags the other person along. Sometimes that's ok. Other times, we have this train wreck.
Jennie has a problem with the “song choice.” (The song the producers and/or Keo gave her for this week.) Keo ignores her. She tells Keo that “it’s not really me.” He doesn’t care. She says in voiceover that she finds it a little too risqué. Keo assures her that he will “make it work.” So Jennie calls the producer, since she’s obviously not being heard.
Well, I don’t know what the previous song was, but this compromise song is pretty terrible. She’s dancing a cha cha in a well-concealing catsuit. Keo, OTOH, is wearing a leather jacket, open with no shirt underneath.
Forgive me, but this song doesn’t seem really “like her” either. I feel really sorry for her.
Some people get what this show is, and some just don’t. At least half of this show is for the pro dancer to figure out what makes their partner tick, and playing to that, using that, for best effect in their dances. Keo just falls flat on his face in this aspect. This is just a disaster. This poor woman looks miserable, trying to do these steps, with this dance that she CLEARLY doesn’t vibe to. And in a normal season, it sure seems like they smooth these things out more.
Len: “I thought it was a competent performance. Cha cha cha, you’ve got to show sharp and clean and crisp movement. At the same time, you’ve got to show rhythm through your body. I liked the crispness of it. It lacked a bit of rhythm. You lost timing on occasion.” Bruno comments on how she holds her hands, and her lack of timing. “But you look great, who cares?” Carrie Ann: “I applaud you for choosing what felt right to you. I think that’s setting a great example. Especially in this tight a competition to make that choice is very very bold, and I’m very impressed with that. However, I do think that is also maybe what held you back a bit. But you looked like you felt good out there, which is maybe half the struggle.” Rashad: “Cha cha is a difficult dance. I thought you came out and you were confident. You were sliding across the floor. I’ve watched you pitch some lightning-fast pitches that no one could return. Tonight, you had the opportunity to swing the bat, and you knocked it out of the park.” (Not true, but nice sounding. I also appreciate him speaking to the athletes in sports lingo.)
JUDGES’ SCORES: 26 (out of 40)
Emma helps Rashad lead the audience in a wave after the break. Tom says: “I’m all waved out.”
Kareem and Lindsay, salsa
The package shows Kareem and Lindsay looking at tape of couples dancing (probably in the 1920s) at the Savoy Hotel. Kareem talks about how his dad met his mom, dancing there. He says they were doing “the Lindy hop.” Kareem dedicates this salsa to his dad.
They open on a club called La Malanga. Dudes in white hats, women in white dresses. Lindsay appears almost as tall as Kareem (?). Turns out that she's sitting on Hayley’s shoulders! The whole first part of the dance! Amazing. But the dance turned out to be a stunt thing. Kareem can barely move. Even when he just walks, it’s awkward. And his “dancing” is mostly just shuffling and doing hand movements. I really hate this pairing so much. It’s right up there with the all-time worst #DWTS competitors. Salsa, my butt. Dreadful.
Tom, at the end of the dance, gives a shout out to the wondrous Hayley, who really went above and beyond in this dance. But Brit also did a fine job, while we are calling out amazing troupe members.
Bruno: “That was so clever. So very well-constructed. The choreography was so imaginative. It really took you to a time and place. It really was Harlem at its best.” Carrie Ann: “It was such a lovely tribute to your father. I love what you did. In the first half of it, I was a little worried. You weren‘t at the top of your game. The second half, though, the audience went crazy. It was your best dance so far.” Rashad: “I know 7'2" is tall, but you can stand taller today, cause your father is looking down on you, proud.” Len: “Compared with last week, there was far more content, far more rhythm, far more fun. The salsa is a party dance. You’ve brought the party to the ballroom.” Now watch all the fives they give him after all that hot air.
Erin asks Kareem to describe his teammate. Kareem: “It’s hard to describe, cause it’s like going on a basketball court with your coach. Lindsay is an incredible choreographer, and a patient teacher, and that’s why I was able to learn a few things.”
JUDGES’ SCORES: 26 (out of 40)
Erin teases about Kareem in the team dance. She says it’s “hysterical and fantastic.”
Then, they show Lindsay in the skybox, getting on Hayley’s shoulders. They dance with Kareem (without the mounds of fabric covering her). Fun.
The black and gold DWTS flags are flying again. Thanks, Troupe!!
Chris and Witney, Viennese waltz
Chris tells us in the package about his ADHD, and how he’s not able to concentrate on details. Which makes it unfortunate that their dance this week is the Viennese waltz, which has many many details.
But their Viennese waltz was beautiful. Witney packed it with more Viennese waltz content than she usually does, and it worked well.
Carrie Ann: “Wow. I am so impressed. From Week One, you showed a lot of potential. That was outstanding. You had all the nuances. You had the finesse. You had the grace. You had eloquence, you had poetry. You were telling a story, all the while being natural. You had good body contact, your footwork was nice. Pretty darn good, if you ask me.” Rashad: “Not too much to say after that. It was absolutely amazing. One of the hardest things for me to get done was heel leads. You had heel leads, and it’s early in the show. So, hats off to you. You talked about ‘controlling your body.’ You controlled your body the whole time, and that was organized chaos, which is amazing. Great job.” Len: “I didn’t like the spinning, holding the leg (see above). It was out of character with the Viennese waltz. (He’s right about that.) That aside, what I admired was when you were in hold, you got sway. I gotta agree with Rashad. Your footwork was good. Every forward step was on the heel, which I congratulate you both for. It was a very competent dance. Better than last week.” Bruno: “You are a leading man. You are the Waltzing Heartthrob. The dance was wonderful. It was fluid. You used the space very well.”
JUDGES’ SCORES: 33 (out of 40, getting the first 9 of the season from Carrie Ann)
You know, I love Erin Andrews as a host. But she has a side job where she covers football. You can tell she knows a lot about football. You would think she’d put the same effort into this job. She goes off on asking Chris about the “sway” thing (which, as you can see above Len said HE HAD SWAY). She is obviously not clear on what exactly “sway” is (even though it’s a large part of a Viennese waltz). She has both Witney and Len try to explain it to her.
Then, she gets confused about whether it’s “the first 9 of the season or of the night”? Has she been paying attention? What’s going on here? (For the record, it is BOTH the first 9 of the season and of the night.)
Not one of her finer moments.
Tom tries to get us out of it by declaring “that was swaytastic.” Thanks, Tom.
Troupe members Brit and Artem bring us back from commercial with a hot samba bumper. I don’t know about anyone else, but I sure think Brit is ready to be a pro. She just brings it every time.
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| I love this photo so much. Remember when Sasha used to be the bear? |
Tonya and Sasha, quickstep
Sasha surprises Tonya by telling her they are dancing to “Redneck Woman.” (Most people would probably bristle at this.) Tonya whoops! She loves the idea. Without missing a beat, she says, “Gretchen Wilson. Yeah, ‘Redneck Woman’ is totally me. I drive a big truck, I cut firewood, I hunt, I fish, I’m a country girl. So, it’ll be really fun to show the world another side of me. Being able to be part of something so special makes me feel alive again.” I am reminded again and again of how empathetic and kind Sasha is to his partners, and how he’s totally the perfect partner for Tonya.
“And I get one more chance to prove to America: Hey! I can dance now,” she laughs.
The stage is set with a little campfire and tent, some woodsy action. Sasha is pantomiming fishing. And then a BEAR jumps out (remember when Sasha used to be the Bear? Wonder who it is this time?)
They are quickstepping to “Redneck Woman.” All throughout, it’s Sasha who acts scared of the bear. (Gosh, I love #
DWTS sometimes!) At one point, Sasha dives under Tonya’s skirt. The bear then runs off into the woods. The song ends with a “Hell, yeah!” And it’s perfect. The part at the end where the guy dips the girl, Tonya dips Sasha. That was also perfect.
Tom thanks “Ray Chew live, right there, behind the campfire.”
Tom: “I just wanna say that it’s so good to see the Dancing Bear back at work. Hasn’t had a gig since Captain Kangaroo was cancelled.” (I’m dying...)
Dancing Bear then goes and sits behind the judges for comments.
Rashad: “I absolutely loved it. Country girl! One thing you said in your package: you get to show the world another side of you. You are showing the world a new chapter of your life. I love it.” Then we find out the Bear is troupe member Brandon. Len: “It was fast, but it would be if you’re being chased by a bear. I liked the routine. I liked the energy. Quickstep is a tough dance, because it’s one of those dances where you pretty much have to maintain the frame. There’s no hiding places. But this dance made me feel good. I liked it so much.” Bruno: “It was great fun. High energy, high spirited. I was counting. You didn’t lose the timing.” Carrie Ann: “What’s most impressive about this dance: you need to have so much strength. What I noticed the most was your strength. Not only in the way that you were leading Sasha through the dance, but you did it in a way that was appropriate. You’re very strong, you’re very powerful. And you’re poignant. There’s a poignancy when you dance. It’s a real joy. I love watching you dance.”
JUDGES’ SCORES: 33 (out of 40)
Not only do they have a sparkly Jumbotron for this Athletes edition, they also have number 1 fingers with D, W, T and S on them (which the judges wave around). I knew they needed four judges for some reason.
Mirai and Alan, foxtrot
Mirai’s package starts with her crying because she got a 7 last week. *eyeroll*
“My skating is really good, but my dancing is all super-new to me,” she says modestly. Alan: “All of this is new to you.” He tells her they are doing a foxtrot, and dancing to Disney (even though the season is too short to do a whole Disney night). “And there are no tears in Disney, only smiles.” COUGHsuckupCOUGH They do a hokey cut where they are suddenly enjoying a day at Disneyland.
She wakes up from this “dream” onstage on a bed, now a Disney princess (being sprinkled with fairy dust by the other Disney princesses). They break out the magical Disney carriage (that no other channel gets to use, see above). They are dancing to ”It’s a Small World.”
Now nearly everyone in the audience has on Disney ears. Sheesh.
Len: “I think, at the beginning, you were sprinkled with a little bit of Disney magic, because that for me, was the best dance so far.” Bruno: “Radiant, literally. You were the embodiment of a Disney princess.” Mirai, “Actually, the real Queen is sitting over there.” (She points to former Mirror Ball winner and pro skater Meryl Davis, in the audience, who blushes.) Carrie Ann: “That was gorgeous. This is what I thought you were capable of. Every movement was finessed perfectly. You have the Disney force with you tonight.” Rashad: “I thought it was a great dance, great choreography. You have a great partner. And you’re a true athlete. You didn’t like what you had last week, and you proved that you want better scores.”
So, for this Disney dance, they break out the Disney paddles for Rashad, who gives them a 10. (In case Erin missed it, it is also the first 10 of the season. And of the night.)
JUDGES’ SCORES: 37 (out of 40)
They cut to Tom, who is standing with another previous Mirror Ball winner, Bindi Irwin, who does the toss. How cute.
Awwwwww! They have Rashad do a bit of 24-carat magic with his Mirror Ball-winning partner, Emma (and the troupe). Great bumper.
Arike and Gleb, foxtrot
Again, they make a big deal about her wearing heels (as is standard for women on this show).
They do a foxtrot to Pink’s “What About Us?” Yes, she is in heels, but she is barely moving. (Although it is a softer song.) It was more artistic and beautiful than most of the songs Gleb picks, I’ll give him that. And he did some great choreography.
Bruno: ”The heels did the trick. Your poise and posture was much better. You have a wonderful connection to the music and your partner.” Carrie Ann: “You are magic. What I saw just now touched me so much, I was crying. It was so powerful. There’s something so powerful in you being vulnerable. Thank you for putting on the shoes. Thank you for playing full out with us here on
Dancing with the Stars. It has paid off, you touched us all.” Rashad: “It’s powerful. We know you can perform under pressure. You are a beautiful woman with those sneakers on, but just in case nobody ever told you, you’re also beautiful with those shoes on.” Len: “As a basketball fan, it must’ve felt strange to start (the dance) sitting on the bench. Once you got up, you did fantastic footwork. Great job, Gleb. Terrific.”
JUDGES’ SCORES: 33 (out of 40)
They come back, showing the “Dance Cam” on the Jumbotron (people in the audience dancing to the music playing).
Adam and Jenna, foxtrot
They show how Adam is on tour with his “Stars on Ice” partner, Mirai. “And Jenna goes literally everywhere with me.” *pet peeve alert* (Man, I hate stars who do this...) He and Mirai don’t get back until MONDAY, the day of the show. Ugh.
But, despite all that, they do a killer quickstep. Actually my favorite dance of the night. His footwork is amazing.
It begins with Adam sitting in the audience, taking selfies. And then it's oh so very good. Legendary, even.
Carrie Ann: “So tight! Do you guys measure it out with a centimeter stick? Everything is exactly in sync together.” Rashad: “That was absolutely stunning. This outfit, though? I love the routine. You all are a true partnership, and I love watching y’all dance.” Len: “If you was wearing one of those watches that told you how many steps you did, you did a day’s steps in a one-and-a-half minute quickstep. So much content, so much speed. But so much clarity of movement.” Bruno: “No messing around, no distraction. Absolutely fantastic dancing all the way through. Your timing is impeccable, and your partnerwork is outstanding.”
JUDGES’ SCORES: 37 (out of 40)
So now both Stars on Ice dancers (Mirai and Adam) are tied for the lead.
Tom announces the team dances: “Team 50s Tennis will take on Team 70s Football cause... Why not?”
LOL The Jumbotron says “Make some noise!” (I think they attended a Dodgers game to get ideas for all this...)
I always roll my eyes at these hokey team dance concepts. They just add a little bit of points. Big whoop. Think what you will. These were the choices. Tonya twisted her ankle. Sasha puts ice on it. She says: “Unless that ankle’s broken, we’re dancing.” Wow. They dance to this really cool adaptation of Britney Spears’ “Hit Me Baby, One More Time.”
OK, the coolest thing about that was when they poured a bucket of silver confetti over Tom’s head.
TEAM TENNIS JUDGES’ SCORES: 33 (out of 40)
TEAM FOOTBALL JUDGES’ SCORES: 37 (out of 40)
Going home?
Urike and Gleb and Kareem and Lindsay are going home in this double elimination. Tom says that next week features THREE COUPLES eliminated. And that David Ross is going to be the guest judge.
MICHE’S FAVORITES OF WEEK TWO
1. Adam and Jenna (quickstep)
2. Tonya and Sasha (quickstep)
3. Josh and Sharna (paso doble)
4. Chris and Witney (Viennese waltz)
5. Mirai and Alan (foxtrot)
PLEASE GO HOME
Jennie and Keo
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