Season 30, Week Three: It’s Britney Night and Covid Hits One More Time

Last week, as you may remember, Cheryl got Covid, and they did their dance from rehearsal tape. This week, her partner Cody got Covid, so they are again dancing remotely. Also, judge Derek Hough is sitting this one out, “in an abundance of caution.”

Alan and Amanda, cha cha

They dance to something called “Circus” that I’ve never heard of. She does have great legs, and uses them to do amazing splits.

Len: “I was intrigued to find out how you would cope with Latin American dances, because you’ve done ballroom dancing up until now. And I must say, you coped very well. There’s a few dances on this show that I almost know what I’m going to get. There’s nothing spontaneous. And with you, it’s always clean, it’s clear, but it doesn’t really excite me. I wanna get excited.” Bruno: “What a show! What a cha cha cha! First Latin, and you have a hit. You ooze star quality. Those legs, I’m telling you, they are a weapon to be reckoned with.” Carrie Ann: “You are stunning. Normally we don’t use that word for a cha cha, but you are stunning. What I loved about it most was that it was clean, it was sharp, it was elegant. You obviously worked on your technique. But what is lacking, I think, is your posture.”

JUDGES: 24 (Out of 30)

Daniella and Iman, tango

Nice choreeography, as usual, by Daniella. They tango to “Piece of Me.” The height thing, man, whoa! But they work around it nicely.

Bruno: “That was a nice, solid piece of tango. I really appreciate the fact that you are really concentrating on getting the right move. You even tried heel leads. You were in control. You tried to keep your frame. You have to try now to make it a little bit smoother. Drive it through smoothly.” Carrie Ann: “Iman, I did not expect that today. No offense. You know I’m a fan. The way you toned down your steps to match Daniella is so impressive. It’s so hard to do. Your height difference is unbelievable. No one would ever put you guys together in the real world of ballroom dance.” Len: “Unlike Amanda, I’m never sure what’s gonna turn up. Sometimes I think WOW, sometimes not so much. I could see you were trying to work your feet, but they weren’t always fantastic. Let me say: your feet are a long way from your heart, and you always come out and give it your all.”

JUDGES: 19 (Out of 30)

Pasha and Christine, paso doble

Pasha and Christine dance to “Stronger.” I really enjoyed this paso. And the costumes!

Carrie Ann: “Christine, yay! I’m so glad we saved you to see you have this moment. You were fighting for that moment. You were fighting for every step. Your shaping is beautiful. You have such flexibility. You have control. You have everything that it takes to win this competition, and tonight you showed us that you are on your way, girl.” Len: “I was so shocked that you were in the Bottom Two last week. I could not understand it. I’m so glad you’ve come back, because you’ve danced a really clean, crisp, plenty of energy paso doble. It was terrific.” Bruno: “I love it, Christine, when you’re tough. You were in charge of the paso doble. Go for it, honey.”

JUDGES: 21 (Out of 30)

Jenna and JoJo, Argentine tango

Wow! This dance to “Hit Me One More Time” was amazing. They are incredible together.

Len: “It was an extremely well-crafted routine. I liked the lifts, because they were part of the flow of the dance. It had a little bit too much staccato. It looked like a ballroom tango in places. It didn’t have that sort of oozing as that you see in the Argentine tango. Having said that, you can’t make a bad performance. You’re always right on point.” Bruno: “JoJo, you know how to hit it. She goes straight for the bullseye every time. The way she pitches the performance is always the right side of sexy. So titillating. She works the camera like no others.” Carrie Ann: “What I love about you is you’re like liquid sunshine. When you dance, there’s something very powerful about you that’s also so approachable. The most impressive thing that I watched is when you lead. You lead with clarity and intention. It’s so easy to watch. The guys should be watching that too.”

JUDGES: 24 (Out of 30)

Brandon and Kennya, tango

Her dress was gorgeous, but what’s up with that jacket of his? Bizarre. They dance to “Womanizer.” I liked this tango a lot.

Bruno: “My love, you’re back on track! What a good tango that was! It was gliding across the floor beautifully. I never felt like you were pushed by Brandon. You were right up with him. Such poise. Such elegance. That was so chic. I loved it.” Carrie Ann: “It was so chic. It was beautiful. You are so giving supermodel vibes tonight. You’re just so refined and elegant and so strong in your center. That was amazing.” Len: “Your hold was a little bit loose at times. You did lack a little bit of body contact. However, you captured the flavor of the dance, and you moved well around the floor.”

JUDGES: 21 (Out of 30)

Sharna and Brian, tango

In their package, he explains to her the extent of the fame of his show, “Beverly Hills 90210.” “Oh, that’s how famous you were,” she intones. LOL Yeah, he was damn famous. Even more famous than she is now. Pretty funny.

I loved this tango. One of the few where you can really feel the passion between the two dancers. The costumes are fire, too.

Carrie Ann: “Whoa, fire. You have finally arrived in the ballroom, my friend. Now you’re serious. That was serious dancing. I’m very appreciative of the hold and the body contact. It was amazing. I’m so proud of you. Fantastic.” Len: “Your frame was overall good. It was nice. Your body contact was there. Your footwork was pretty poor, actually. But I must say, it was a spirited effort.” Bruno: “He’s right. The footwork. You really have to work on that. You can have all the right intentions, but we are getting toward the middle of the season. You really have to perfect that.”

JUDGES: 19 (Out of 30)

Artem and Melora, cha cha

Melora and Artem dance to Britney’s “Crazy,” and it looks like he was driving her crazy in rehearsal. But she’s a trouper. And she’s here to show you that Amanda isn’t the only one with great legs! Love her costume and her hair.

Len: “That’s the Artem I know and love that gives me a full-on cha cha cha. And that had so much more hip action. It was a great performance.” Bruno: “Wow! Melora, what’s going on? Nothing will contain my excitement. It’s like a veil has been lifted. And I’m actually seeing you in full focus for the first time. You got it, honey.” Carrie Ann: “Melora, at this stage of the game, everybody is starting to stand out for different reasons. What’s so special about you is you make this look easy and natural, when you know it’s nothing but. Somehow you’re able to add light and shade, and you’re not so stiff and tense. That is spectacular.”

JUDGES: 23 (Out of 30)

Gleb and Melanie C., tango

So she’s the flight attendant and he’s the friendly skies? LOL

They dance to Britney’s “Toxic.” Have I mentioned that this season they have all the stars and pros on the sidelines, with drinks and stuff, in little tables? I think they also have their friends and families in a special VIP area with drinks. 

Bruno: “Very impressive cockpit. You were flying high on that tango. And the service? Come on. First-class all the way.” Carrie Ann: “It was so filled with content. That was a hard piece of choreography to learn, and I’m so impressed. Your legs are great, your lines are great.” Len: “Well, it was a bit stop-start. At the end I liked it much more. It took awhile to get cracking. Once you got into the dance, you get into hold, you do a little bit, then you break hold. So it had a jerkiness. Once you got near the end, it was really good. But the bottom line: you are a terrific dancer.”

JUDGES: 22 (Out of 30)

Emma and Jimmie, salsa

They dance to “Outrageous.” Emma’s choreography is pretty amazing. Lots of lifts, beautifully done.

Carrie Ann: “Well Jimmie, first of all, real men do cry. So don’t worry about that. It just shows you’re sensitive. As far as the dance goes, the lifts were super rough. The last one, you nailed.” Len: “Well, I liked the nice easy action of it. It had rhythm all the time. Sometimes your steps were a little bit big. The last lift I didn’t think was in character with the dance, the other ones were a little bit dodgy.” Bruno: “They must’ve been watching another show. Don’t you worry. Because I saw when you let loose, it all flows beautifully. The rhythm, the hips, it was going brilliantly. So listen to reason. And listen to me, that was good.”

JUDGES: 20 (Out of 30)

Val and Olivia, tango

They dance to “Hold It Against Me.” Best tango of the night, also best choreography. Val just creates magic week after week. Amazing tango.

Len: “Listen! Listen to the noise, Val. That was a proper tango. No messing about at the start. Straight into the dance. Full of staccato, full of attack. You pros: THIS is what I wanna see. Not messing about, I want full-on dancing.” Bruno: “You were on it, like a bonnet. I can’t believe it. What I really love about Dancing with the Stars is moments like this, when you see people transforming, in front of your eyes. And you, Olivia, have become a beautiful dancer.” Carrie Ann: “Olivia, you are truly blossoming. That was so far the best dance of the night, as far as I’m concerned. It was fantastic. You are graceful, you are elegant, and you are strong, and you are passionate. All of it together.”

JUDGES: 24 (Out of 30)

Cheryl and Cody, jazz

This week, Cody has Covid. And they are not performing from rehearsal tape, they are performing live on the show, but remotely from their respective homes. It helps that Cody is a Britney super fan. 

As you can see, this time, they both have costumes and makeup.

And given the constraints, I thought it was wonderful.

Bruno: “I really admire the perseverance and the commitment, in spite of it all. I wish you were here. I know you have the ability. It’s very difficult to judge, especially the sync. It’s a very good effort.” Carrie Ann: “Bravo to both of you for dancing with Covid. I know Covid is no joke. So I’m very impressed with both of you. Look, we have to judge it from what we have in this ballroom. And did that compare? Not quite. The truth is, it wasn’t as great as I know you can be. And that’s disappointing. But I’m glad you finally had your Britney moment.” Len: “Well, these are strange times. And they throw out strange scenarios. I wasn’t sure how this would work. I must say: I thought you were clear and tight together. I know it’s difficult, but where you could, you got that little interchange going, with the hat and so on. I thought for the circumstances, you did a terrific job.”

JUDGES: 18 (Out of 30)

Sasha and Suni, foxtrot

They are dancing to “I’m a Slave for You,” and Sasha is the snake. Hahahaha

Carrie Ann: “OK. You’re definitely pushing your boundaries, I can tell you’re going past what’s comfortable with a routine like this. I sense a little bit of discomfort, doing some of the more sensual moves. What I want you to know is that performing like that, you can be innocent and still sensual. And still exude your confidence. And that’s what we’re looking for. I’m very proud of you.” Len: “Not so much for me. You didn’t capture the foxtrot. It’s a romantic dance. This, this was a little bit steamy. First ballroom dance.” Bruno: “Oh, I don’t mind steamy. A bit of moisture makes you glow. I love the fact that you actually started to play with a character. As you let it go, your performance becomes more effective.”

JUDGES: 21 (Out of 30)

Lindsay and Matt, tango

I always think it’s creepy when stars dedicate tangos to their moms. Also creepy is the backdrop of Matt’s abs. Ugh. Didn’t we get enough of that on The Bachelor? Come on. 

They are doing a tango to “Let It All Out,” which I guess he was doing in that backdrop. Oh, they also have b/w glamour shots of Lindsay. Ugh.

I didn’t like the song at all, and didn’t like the dance either. His legs were bent through the whole thing.

Len: “I congratulate you that you got on with it, and it was a full-on routine. You had plenty of passion, and plenty of attack.” Bruno: “I’m a bit disappointed. You’re a bit overdressed tonight. (He’s not showing any chest onstage.) I wasn’t expecting that. But I have to say, you did a very good job. The concentration on his face! You really worked very very hard. Lots of content.” Carrie Ann: “I agree with my fellow judges. You did really well. What I like is there was a new refinement in your dancing. I thought your posture was beautiful.” 

JUDGES: 20 (Out of 30)

Witney and The Miz, salsa

The Miz says he’s going to “outwork everyone.” Considering that Suni, in her package, whined about going to school and doing gymnastics AND doing DWTS, that’s probably not hard.

They are doing a salsa to “Oops, I Did It Again,” which makes Britney fan Witney so happy she jumps up and down. 

Awful lot of flips and spins and lifts in that dance.

Bruno: “When it comes to shirts, less is more. (The Miz has his shirt open. And seriously, Bruno should be taken to HR.) We got the magic. What’s going on? Whatever it is, keep going.” Carrie Ann: “Mike, you’re so much fun to watch. The joy of you. And I see how much attention you put to all the details. The lifts were amazing, some things we’ve never seen before. But I have to tell you, for salsa, I needed to see it more relaxed up here. You were tight.” Len: “Unlike some of our stars, you’ve got absolutely no dance background. And to come out and perform to that level, I thought was fantastic.” 

JUDGES: 22 (Out of 30)

So who’s in the Bottom Two? And who’s going home?

The Bottom Two are Brandon and Kenya and Pasha and Christine. :-(

Going home?

Damn. Bummer. I liked them. Oh well.

Miche’s Favorite Dances of Britney Night

1. Val and Olivia, tango

2. Sasha and Suni, foxtrot

3. Jenna and JoJo, Argentine tango

4. Daniella and Iman, tango

5. Sharna and Brian, tango

6. Alan and Amanda, cha cha

7. Pasha and Christine, paso doble

8. Cheryl and Cody, jazz

9. Gleb and Melanie C., tango

10. Emma and Jimmie, salsa

11. Artem and Melora, cha cha

12. Brandon and Kenya, tango

Need to Go Home

1. Matt

2. The Miz

***************************************************

Season 30, Week Two: First Elimination Is Not a Surprise

Lame intro.

We don’t exactly have an opening number. We have two troupe dancers (Ezra and Sofia), dancing for a bit before they introduce Tyra (who mistakenly introduces them as pros, which they aren’t yet).

Lindsay and Matt, samba

Throughout, they have identifiers under people’s names (in yellow). For some reason, they don’t do this in Lindsay’s package.

They dance to the song whose chorus is: “Come on and dance with me, I’m levitating.” At the point in the song where it goes: “You want me, “ Matt rips off his shirt in front of Bruno. Bruno stands, and nods yes. I think Matt gets a 10 from Bruno for that.

PRO TIP: You do score points with Bruno for this (guys), but it’s points from Len that you really want to worry about. 

It was an OK cha cha. Lindsay working hard to make it so, but Matt’s hips didn’t seem to move at all.

Len (Professional Ballroom Judge): “Instead of worrying about taking off your shirt, which was totally unnecessary, you would’ve been better served working once again on your hips. Your hips are nonexistent. Honestly, your hips are allergic to music. Work on your hips.” Derek (Choreographer & Six-Time DWTS Champion): “I think what Len is trying to say is also work on your balance. In samba, we need balance, we need rise and fall. That gets that hip action going, that rhythm going. Just for the future, think about those feet. That’s going to happen in every single dance. Turn those suckers out. But dude, you’re a great performer, so fun to watch.” Bruno (Film, Music Video & Theatre Choreographer): “There are so many things in my mind that I want to say, nothing to do with the samba whatsoever. (Matt laughs.) Next.” Carrie Ann (Choreographer & Dance Producer): “Amazing physique, but what I was missing was the bravado that you had and the confidence once you ripped your shirt off, it lasted for like two seconds, and then you started dancing small. A little awkward. Keep those feet on the ground.” (Carrie Ann really hates lifts where they don’t belong.)

JUDGES: 22 (Out of 40)

Val (Two-Time DWTS Champion) and Olivia (Beauty Vlogger), Viennese waltz

Gorgeous costumes. Oh, I love people who know how to do Viennese waltz properly. It was just magical. I loved this dance to “Better Days Are Coming.”

Derek: “There is seriously a purity in your performance. When I see you dancing, I don’t see you thinking about the routines, I just see you enjoying it. It’s such a breath of fresh air, you’re like a breeze, dancing across the oak floor. It’s gorgeous. I really, really was impressed with that. Beautiful.” Bruno: “Weightless, flowing, seamless. For a beginner of ballroom, you’ve really done incredibly well. There were a few slight hiccups.” Carrie Ann: “Olivia, I was so impressed with what Derek was talking about. There’s this trust and this vulnerability when you’re dancing, which I’ve seen in the past leads to fantastic endings because it’s all about partnership. With performances like that, your journey will probably not be very short.” Len: “I thought there was nice rotation, to left and to right. I also thought there was a nice mix of steps (thanks, Val) in and out of hold. I thought both of you did a good job.”

JUDGES: 27 (Out of 40)

Brandon (Pro Dancer) and Kenya (“The Real Housewives of Atlanta”), cha cha

These costumes are just fire tonight. Just love them. They dance to Donna Summer’s “Hot Stuff.”

Bruno: “Kenya, let me tell you. You are simply irresistible. Talk about easy. When you got it right, in the second half, it came out of you naturally. This was a night off, but I know what you have is exceptional.” Carrie Ann: “Way to represent. I love it. 50 t0 50 year old. You’re amazing. This season feels very competitive to me, and you have so much going for you, take the extra second to ground yourself, so that the line looks nicer. It was amazing. You were in your power.” Len: “I tell you what you’ve got: plenty of gear in the rear. You were working those hips fantastically. It was such a powerful, full-on dance.” Derek: “Kenya, I love you. You’re absolutely amazing. Beautiful rotation in the grapevines. For me, just find the consistency. There’s moments of greatness in there, and little wobbles here and there. Find that consistency, and you’re gonna be amazing in this show.”

JUDGES: 24 (Out of 40)

Witney (Season 19 Champion) and The Miz (WWE Superstar), tango

They are dancing a tango to “Nothing but a Good Time,” by Poison. The Miz loves “’80s hair metal.”

Boy, this man sure is full of himself. 

Carrie Ann: “That was good. That’s what I’m talking about. That’s what I wanted to see from you. Have the energy in the right parts, entertain us in our face, but then be controlled. It was amazing. You were so distinguished. Your lines were so long.” Len: “Last week I said: ‘Better than expected.’ This week, I got just what I expected. Plenty of attack, very little finesse. However, on a positive, your footwork was very good.” Derek: “My man, you came out of the gate… we doin’ tag team? Let’s go. You got me amped up. I was a little worried you weren’t going to be able to contain that energy when you got into frame, but you did, brother. You were so locked in. I was so impressed. That control was awesome.” Bruno: “You had all that aggression and bravado, but it was very well channeled into a power tango.”

JUDGES: 26 (Out of 40)

Sharna (Season 27 Champion) and Brian, rumba

Their dance last week was pretty steamy, just because they’re a couple. And now a rumba? *fans self*

She says in the package that they are dancing “to our song.” (“Say You Won’t Let Go” by James Arthur) We have an immersive Van Gogh exhibit here in the LA. They go there for their date night, and Sharna says that it’s going to be the backdrop to their dance.

“I’m so in love with you” is one of the lines. And they clearly are.

He mouths the words to her at key moments, it’s like they are in their own little love world, and we’re watching it. It’s so beautiful. So special.

Len: “On a positive note, it had a bit of romance about it. Other than that, there was very little I liked. It was just a load of posing, running around, another pose.” Brian looks shocked at his comments. Derek: “Sometimes you do a dance in the show that’s kinda just for you. I think that’s what this was. I think that’s beautiful. I think it’s great.” Bruno: “It was very honest. It was an honest dance. It was a pure expression of what you feel, and we got that. At times, it felt a little bit good, like a contemporary dance instead of a rumba. It kind of lost the Cuban motion that’s necessary for this. Was it effective? Yes. Not quite right, but great performance.” Carrie Ann: “I think I want you to build on the chemistry that you have. It’s palpable, and it’s beautiful, and it creates amazing moments that maybe other couples won’t be able to create. But you need to sustain the movement. Go from one movement to the other with energy that’s the same as that connection that you have with Sharna.” 

JUDGES: 23 (Out of 40)

Pasha (Pro Dancer) and Christine (“Bling Empire” Star), salsa

They are dancing a salsa to “Despacido.” How could this go wrong? And Pasha just packs his choreography with content. I love it.

Derek: “Wow, Christine. You have an awareness of your body, you know how to use it. You have great hip action. I was really impressed with that. You started really strong, and as it progressed, I could feel a little bit of tension rise up in you, and you could start to feel a little stiff. It’s just the consistency. Everybody’s so talented, there’s so much potential, it’s just keeping all the way from the beginning, all the way to the end.” Bruno: “But Christine, that literally got me on a spin. You have to be consistent.” Carrie Ann: “75% of that was awesome. Your passion is amazing. It brings us all in. I love every move you attack. How you wanted to be on the show, I love that in every move. If you had stayed on your feet, you would have been amazing.” Len: “Tonight, someone is gonna go home. On your two weeks of dancing, I don’t think it’s gonna be you.”

JUDGES: 24 (Out of 40)

Emma and Jimmie (Platinum Country Singer), rumba

They are doing a rumba to one of his songs, “Make Me Want To.” (I don’t like it when they dance to the star’s songs, usually. The advantage, of course, is that they know the musicality of it inside and out. But to me, they are usually not as good songs as are most often chosen.)

The rumba was ok, not earth-shaking.

I’m not commenting on Tyra. Not her dresses, not her excesses, not the lame banter she does before the votes are shown. But I do want to point out that she really does make a lot of mistakes as a host. Mistakes Tom Bergeron never made. Just saying. And her main job is to go: “Bruno, Carrie Ann, Len, Derek” at appropriate times, and she sounds completely bored when she’s doing that. #sigh

Bruno: “Great song, Jimmie. (*eyeroll*) It definitely got you tuned in and turned on. Couldn’t you feel the undercurrent of passion emerging, almost exploding?” (Um, no. To me, it didn’t feel passionate at all.) Carrie Ann: “That was amazing. That was the first time this season that I actually felt my heart attached to what you were doing. You just opened us all up. I could not take my eyes off of you. You had so much respect for the art form by the way you did every movement. I’m impressed with you. That was so beautiful.” Len: “Your footwork was a little bit hit and miss. Your upper body was really great. And the secret to this show: do better than you did the week before. And that’s what you just did.” Derek: “I wanna echo what they just said: the lower half, I could see you struggling a bit, but the upper half, beautiful arms. Powerful.”

JUDGES: 27 (Out of 40)

Alan and Amanda (Co-Host of “The Talk”), foxtrot

Amanda chooses to dance this foxtrot to her wedding dance song with her deceased husband, Nick. “It Had to Be You.”  They chose it because it was the song he sang to book “Bullets Over Broadway,” which was the Broadway show they met in. 

Alan got lucky this time, he got a real dancer. Beautiful foxtrot.

Carrie Ann: “Amanda, with all due respect, so much of your journey has had to do with Nick. But this is all about you. You are a star. That was like watching a Broadway musical built only around you. Those beautiful legs, those beautiful lines. The elegance, the strength, the milking of the moment.” Len: “I love that track, so that helps me. I liked it so much, I wanted it to go on a bit longer, if I’m honest. It was smooth. It was like butter on a hot muffin. Don’t keep kicking your legs up so much. Just cause you got ‘em doesn’t mean you’ve got to use them.” Derek: “Don’t listen to this guy. Use those beautiful legs. They are stunning, exceptional, exquisite. I honestly don’t know what to say, cause I was watching you. I was singing. It was so enjoyable to watch. You are just a vision.” Bruno: “Absolutely radiant. If you’ve got it, flaunt it.” 

The kicks that Len didn’t like.

JUDGES: 32 (Out of 40)

Jenna and JoJo (Popstar and TV Personality), cha cha

Once again, it’s amazing to watch them dance. They dance to “Rain on Me,” and it’s just fun stuff.

Len: “Well, I just saw, before this, my favorite ballroom dance of the season, and I’ve just seen my favorite Latin dance of the season.” Derek: “By the way, that’s all you need. Listen, JoJo, I love you so much. I love your performance, your energy. And I think with you, more is more, right? Sometimes, more isn’t more. You’ve got to contain that energy a little bit. It can get a little wild and lose the quality of movement. There’s an expectation, because you have a dance background. So I think we’re gonna be a little bit tougher on you. Think about that, moving forward. Have that control. Contain that energy.” Bruno: “So crisp, it was crackling. Full of vitality and zest. There was one thing. You have such a strong performance that you pop out of the screen. People are drawn to you. Is absolutely brilliant, what you do. He’s right: sometimes a bit of control. But fantastic job.” Carrie Ann: “It was like watching a dance off, but in all the good ways. Like you weren’t competing with each other, you guys just like outdoing each other, with all that energy. It’s still so new to watch it, I find myself just getting lost in the performance, and going: ‘Wow! This is so awesome.’ You are awesome. You guys are fantastic together.”

JUDGES: 31 (Out of 40

Daniella and Iman (NBA Champion), rumba

According to Maksim Chmerkovskiy (whose dance opinion I value greatly), Lady Daniella is the “queen of the rumba.” They dance to “You Know What’s Up,” by Donald Jones, which Iman says he loves. He’s says it’s on one of he and his wife’s favorite albums. 

Not only is it a great rumba, but the choreography really gets around the massive height differential in really creative ways. (As you can kinda see in the image above.) I loved it.

Derek: “Iman, what I love about you is you just look like you’re enjoying this. And it just makes me enjoy it, and everyone else watching enjoy it. It was just so smooth, so effortless. Dude, that deep lunge?” Bruno: “I really appreciate the work you put into this. You could really see you were trying to follow the melodic line of the music. Very very good work. You still have to work on your feet.” Carrie Ann: “You had more content this week, which was great for Len, but for me, I’m sorry. You have something special. They way you are so able to connect to that music. And you don’t care. You tell your story about what you’re feeling from that music, and to me, that is magic. So once again, that was magic.” Len: “I am smiling. I liked it. Don’t get excited. I didn’t like it that much, but I liked it. It’s a great improvement on last week.”

JUDGES: 25 (Out of 40)

Britt and Martin, cha cha

Poor Britt. To be saddled with such a dreadful partner. I feel sorry for her.

They are dancing to “Twist and Shout,” and I’m truly scared to watch this. Oh, good grief. Ugh. My eyes!

Bruno: “Technically, more content and more steps. Not always in the right ordcr, or have the right time, but definitely more. So, we are moving in the right direction.” Carrie Ann: “I’m just happy for you, because this week, you look like you had fun and you let loose. That’s what people attach to.” Len: “Let me first of all congratulate you, Britt, because I think you’ve done a sterling job working there on Martin. Martin, I can’t give it a big mark because it wasn’t that great.” Derek: “I love the opening James Brown move. I see you, with the footwork there. It was a lot of fun.” 

JUDGES: 15 (Out of 40)

So bizarre seeing a 3 from the judges. (Deserved though.)

Artem and Melora (“The Office” and “The Bold Type” Actress), rumba

Another bit of wisdom from Maksim Chmerkovskiy: the rumba is “the woman’s dance.” Not in this case. For the beginning of the dance, she stood behind Artem. I guess to emphasize the song, “All By Myself” that they were dancing to. But throughout, it certainly felt like Artem was leading and guiding, and she was overall very awkward.

Although I did love the costumes, and she looked very beautiful.

Carrie Ann: “That was very dramatic, sister. I loved it. You have such a knack for storytelling through your body. It’s not just in here (she motions to her face). You’re giving us all with every ounce of your body. Your arms are stunning. What I loved about that performance was it was so well-balanced.” Len: “Overall, it was easy like Sunday morning. However, Melora, you needed a little bit more hips going on, and Artem, I’d have liked a few more recognizable steps.” Derek: “Melora, I adore ya. You’re just so fun to watch. Your movement is beautiful, such quality to it. It has the right amount of resistance in it. Beautiful.” Bruno: “Beautifully acted. Much more centered.”

JUDGES: 27 (Out of 40)

Cheryl and Cody (Celebrity Fitness Guru), salsa

These are COVID times, and our dear Cheryl has gotten Covid. But the #DWTS rules state that the judges can judge from the taped performance from rehearsal. And so they did.

And this salsa was a damn sight better in rehearsal than anything Martin Kove did in performance, I’ll tell you. So I’m extremely glad that Cody is still in the competition with this tape. He was awesome, and would’ve been even better with costumes and lights and whatnot.

Just goes to show: give it your all in rehearsal, cause you never know!

Cheryl and Cody are isolating, because Covid. But they bring them in virtually for their scores.

Len: “May I first say, Cheryl, I wish you a really speedy recovery. That was full of razzle dazzle. A lot of salsa content, which I always like to see. It was crafted well, and it was danced well.” Derek: “Listen, for rehearsal, that was really really good. Obviously, there’s a little parts that are a little out of sync, but that’s what rehearsal is for. I can really imaginc that routine in the ballroom, with the lights, the costumes, you coming alive.” Bruno: “Yes, we really miss you in the ballroom, because that adds an extra layer to the performance. But even the Pepto-Bismol shoes could not take away from your talent.” Cheryl and Cody both laugh. Carrie Ann: “I was gonna say: Let that be a lesson to what you wear in rehearsal, right? Cody, it was a little bit lackluster, but that’s because you’re marking it, but we have to hold it to the standards of what everybody else is doing in the ballroom, so it was a good job. Lots of content, but you know, not fantastic.”

JUDGES: 24 (Out of 40)

Gleb (Season 28 Finalist) and Melanie C., foxtrot

Fun fact: she’s from an area outside of Liverpool, so it’s with special meaning that they are dancing to a Beatles’ song, “Here Comes the Sun.”

Let’s pause for a moment to applaud the tech people on this show, who created such a beautiful sun for us. This just took my breath away.

It was also for my money, every bit as captivating as Amanda’s foxtrot earlier, in some ways more so.

Derek: “Wow. Melanie, you are a gorgeous dancer. Just absolutely stunning. Beautiful resistance in your body. Just so clean, so effortless. You have a beautiful frame. I love watching you dance.” Bruno: “Melanie, my darling, you’ve never looked lovelier. I really was not expecting this. You managed to combine lyricism with dynamics. So clean, so centered. I can’t believe it. Fantastic.” Carrie Ann: “I loved seeing this side of you. There’s such beautiful elegance and refinement and softness. Trust yourself just a little bit more, because you’re a beautiful dancer.” Len: “As you came out, I was thinking of another Beatles song, “Please Please Me,” and you really did please me. This was not “A Hard Day’s Night,” it was good.”

Before the scores are given, we see a video from Ringo Starr, saying “Peace and Love” to Melanie, and wishes her all the best (because he’s from Liverpool too).

JUDGES: 30 (Out of 40)

Sasha (Season 29 Finalist) and Suni, cha cha

Courtesy of Just Jared, and ABC.

Sasha, in the package, tries to fight against the “no smiling” thing that gymnasts have, also the stuffing of one’s feelings. 

Wow! Could Sasha’s pants be any more sparkly?

That aside, I really loved this cha cha.

Bruno: “Going for gold again, are you? BTW, Sasha, those are mine. Suni, when you smile, you shine. Precise, clean. Dance is a performing art. Imagine yourself being a character. Make up a character, and play the character. Become someone else in each dance, because that is the key to project.” Carrie Ann: “I disagree a little bit. I would say, what I saw there was you starting to be a bit more you. And really sort of embracing yourself. I saw you gain confidence. As you gain confidence, the dance became bigger and better and better. I want you to go home, and I want you to watch that dance back. And I even bet next week is gonna be more amazing. Keep on this track.” Len: “Well, we had the lights, we had the cameras, and once you came out, we had the action. Really well danced. I thought you were coming out and performing much better.” Derek: “I feel like the character was Sassy Suni, out there dancing. Can we just talk about that flip, by the way? That’s crazy.”

JUDGES: 28 (Out of 40)

So, who’s going home? GUESS. Well, in all the years I’ ve been watching this show, I’ve never seen anyone have a deficit from 46 to 28 and NOT go home. There aren’t THAT many Cobra Kai fans to overcome this deficit.

But, OK, let’s walk through it. Who are the Bottom Two?

Astonishingly, it’s Pasha and Christine. Not astonishingly, it’s also Britt and Martin.

Who will the judges save? Hahahahahahaha.

OF COURSE, THEY SAVE:

Great final move in Pasha’s choreography.

MICHE’s Favorite Dances of Themeless Week Two

1. Sasha and Suni, cha cha

2. Cheryl and Cody, salsa 

3. Sharna and Brian, rumba

4. Val and Olivia, Viennese waltz

5. Daniella and Iman, rumba

6. Jenna and JoJo, cha cha

7. Pasha and Christine, salsa

8. Gleb and Melanie, foxtrot

9. Alan and Amanda, foxtrot

10. Brandon and Kenya, cha cha

Need to Go Home Soon

1. The Miz

2. Matt James

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Season 30, Week One: A Real Mix of Characters (Our First Girl-Girl Dance) and No Elimination

  

Usually the intros they’ve been showing have been really lame acting things (for Season 29). This intro, where they show clips of all 30 seasons, was wonderful. Even if they didn’t show Tom Bergeron or Erin Andrews once. :-(  (To say nothing of Brooke Burke…)

It is about the dancing, after all. 

And to show that, they also have an opening number again! YAY!!!

Wait, what’s that? Four judges? Oh. Len is back. Yay! I really missed him last season (damn you, Covid).

Always fun to see who’s on the show on the first episode. So who do we have?

Oh. They tell us the stars, but not who they’re paired with. Ugh.

Melanie C., The Miz, Iman Shumpert, Olivia Jade, Jimmie Allen, Melora Hardin, Suni Lee, Cody Rigsby, Amanda Kloots, Martin Kove, Kenya Moore, Christine Chiu, Matt James, Brian Austin Green and JoJo Siwa. Quite the lineup.

Bachelors don’t have as much of a record of winning this as Bachelorettes do, luckily (Matt James).

Gleb and Mel C, cha cha

They cha cha to a Spice Girls song, of course. Nice cha cha to start off the show.

So they give titles to the judges for the first time: Len, Professional Ballroom Judge; Derek, Choreographer and Six-Time DWTS Champion; Bruno, Film, Music Video and Theatre Choreographer; Carrie Ann, Choreographer and Dance Producer. Well, alright then.

They have an audience (which they didn’t in Season 29). Everyone in the audience is masked. Although it doesn’t look like the size of audience they normally have, any audience is a good thing.

Len says it’s good to be back. “You have danced that absolutely terrific, I thought. You won’t be getting any taxis home in the near future. It had great choreography, a really polished performance.” Derek: “That was so clean, so precise. You have incredible legs.” Bruno: “Watch Gleb, because he tends to steal the shots. Hip action could be a little bit more pronounced.” Carrie Ann: “All my dreams are coming true, that  Season 30 started with you, Sporty Spice. You are my favorite Spice Girl. You are so good. Very clean, very tight. You could loosen up a bit, but you were the first one out: Amazing.”

JUDGES: 27 (out of 40)

CLUE ONE: Astute DWTS viewers will note that when they show the potential pro dance partners (they have eight squares with a female pro in each: left to right, Sharna, Emma, Britt, Cheryl, Witney, Daniella, Jenna and Lindsay), they show eight, but there are only SEVEN male stars above. Hmmm…

Witney and The Miz, cha cha

They are doing an intro of each star, then surprising us with who their partner is. (They’ve never done it like this before.)

The Miz, aka Mike, is paired with Witney. It was a fine cha cha.

Tyra congratulates Derek on winning an Emmy last week (for choreography). Derek thanks the team at DWTS who helped make it happen. Derek: “Man, that opening! You’re like: ‘I mean BIZ. Let’s go.’” He says it’s good to have Witney back (she missed last season). “I was really surprised. I’m not gonna lie. I was expecting you to be a little stiff. But you came out there, you were flowin,’ you were goin,’ man.” Bruno: “Witney! You’ve tamed the beast. What’s going on here? I was expecting mayhem, bashing things about. No. Light on his feet. A well-oiled loin machine. (As he shakes his hips sensuously.) Where is it all coming from? Very, very impressed. A bit flat-footed, but it’s only Week One.” Carrie Ann: “Bruno, you made it awkward already.  So, Miz… you were incredible. The energy that came out of you was ridiculous.” And to Witney: “Welcome back, Momma, btw.” Len: “Miz, better than expected.”

JUDGES: 24 (Out of 40)

Daniella and Iman, jive

Daniella Karagach, in her second season as a pro, mentions in the package that she’s “blown away” by how tall he is. He is a good head taller than her.

This is a swinging jive. I’ll tell you what, he’s a damn sight better than Nelly last season. This guy can MOVE. And his kicks and flicks, for Week One, are actually kicks and flicks. I dug this dance a lot.

Bruno: “It’s very very hard for very tall people to do the jive, because usually it’s a very small and compact dance. But you were very nimble, very light on your feet. You have musicality. Great debut.” Carrie Ann: “Iman, you are the Fly Guy of Season 30. That was ridiculous. I’ve never seen a jive like that, especially not in episode One. That was incredible. You were stylish, you were smooth. You had your own thing. It was amazing choreography.” Len: “Sad to say, I thought it was all too casual. It was too loose. The technique was poor. However, I must say, it was fun and it was entertaining.” Derek: “What I loved about you so much was you just looked so comfortable out there. You were in your element, having a good time. I agree with Len a little bit, with some of the content in there, but great first week.”

JUDGES: 21 (Out of 40)

CLUE TWO: When they show the men, it’s six boxes. (Left to right: Brandon, Val, Alan, Pasha, Sasha, Artem) Hmmm…

Val and Olivia Jade, salsa

Oh! She’s not only “an influencer,” but she was one of the girls involved in that college admissions scandal (which explains why she’s on DWTS). 

Fun dance. He flips her at the end. 

Carrie Ann: “I’m so proud of you. This is the start of a brand-new chapter in your life. I’m so proud of the way you came out with such confidence. You were so sure of yourself. Great lines, great legs. I’m excited.” Len: “Salsa’s a club dance, so it could’ve been a tad more spicy. However, it was clean, it was clear and it was polished.” Derek: “You have so much potential. You were such a great performer. Great legs. What a great first dance.” Bruno: “Olivia, my darling, for a first-timer, you’ve taken to it like a duck to water.”

JUDGES: 25 (Out of 40)

CLUE THREE: As the women get paired off, the boxes are removed. So now there are six women pros in boxes. Hmmm…

Emma and Jimmie Allen, tango

Emma starts this dance on top of a car which has a large mirror ball, which appears to have smashed the windshield. And it’s still smoking. 

Not sure about the song. The dance was ok.

Len: “Jimmie, lemme say, this dance does not suit your personality. You’re a cool sort of a guy, relaxed. I’m sure that there’s a lot more talent in there than we saw on that dance. You’re gonna be loose, you’re gonna go a long way. You’ve got great potential.” (MAN, do I miss Len. So glad he’s back.) Derek: “I don’t know what’s going on tonight, but everybody’s been really really good. Listen, that was an incredible Week One frame. Honestly. Keep it consistent. Great tango, brother.” Bruno: “What’s going on? You crashed my car? You did manage to keep the tango on track. But there were a few skips along the way. It’s a very difficult dance. You have to think about it like a stalking cat. There has to be a constancy and incredible control. There were some good moments, but it was very uneven. Work on it, because you could be very good.” Carrie Ann: “Jimmie, great job first time out there. It’s a very tough dance. There’s a lot of specificity.”

JUDGES: 22 (Out of 40)

They also have the paired up couples now sitting at tables ringside. Fascinating.

Artem and Melora, tango

They dance a tango to a more hard rock number. “Simply Irresistible.”

Derek inexplicably gives this a standing ovation. “That was unbelievable. I’m actually like blown away. That had light and shade, all the dynamics. The control gliding across the floor. You threw yourself in those dips with control. Holy moly. We’re keeping an eye on you, girl.” Bruno: “My darling, you rocked that tango, and you rocked me. I love rock ’n’ roll. Great lines, great placement.” Carrie Ann: “I have to give it up for the drama. You brought the drama to that dance. And you brought the beautiful lines. You have the extension, you have the grace, you have the ferocity of spirit.” Len: “I liked it. No messing, no stressing, you just came out and danced.”

JUDGES: 26 (Out of 40)

Sasha and Suni Lee, jive 

I think I go into every season rooting the most for Sasha, who is long overdue his first Mirror Ball. This time, he’s again paired with a gymnast.

And I just loved this dance. Very fun. She did a quick (perfect) splits. Sure.

Bruno: “My golden girl. You can jive, baby. Those kicks and those flicks! The precision, the retraction, the placement.” Carrie Ann: “You are incredible. The skills you have! You are a perfect match for ballroom dancing. Everything you’re doing is amazing.” Len: “Dance is a mix between neat and precise and then freedom and flair. When it’s great, that goes together. Now this was neat, it was precise, it was right on the button. It just needed to be a little bit more free. But lovely job.” Derek: “I’ve had the privilege of dancing with two gymnasts in the past (Shawn Johnson and Nastia Lukin), and one thing I always used to say to them was: ‘A little bit less perfection, and a little bit more expression.’ Just have fun out there, cause you already have the technique.”

JUDGES: 28 (Out of 40)

Cheryl and Cody, tango

Everyone knows Cody Rigsby as a Peleton instructor, so of course the number starts with a bunch of people on Peleton bikes. But then it evolves into a really great tango.

(They also introduce “our new pros: Sofia and Ezra.”)

Carrie Ann: “Now Cody, I see what the hype’s all about. You are fabulous. You have great energy. I’d like to see you relax, cause you have the moves. We definitely want more of that, OK?” Len: “You have great presence. There’s a lot of promise there. You’ve got to keep your head up a little bit more. I tell you what: you are one to watch.” Derek: “You’re an absolute riot in the best possible way. Just to echo what they said a little bit, you just have to isolate your top half from your bottom half. We were so entertained. So much fun! You’re gonna be a blast.” Bruno: “Great ride. On and off the bike. I love it. Love the attitude. Some work to do, you’ll be great.”

JUDGES: 24 (Out of 40)

Alan and Amanda, tango

Great costumes, as you can see. I enjoyed this tango,

Len: “That was full of tango content. It had attack, it had confidence. A little bit more body contact, and maybe the feet could’ve been crisper, however, that was a really great first dance.” Derek: “In my opinion, dance is the best way to claim your joy. So good to see you out there, dancing. Unbelievable. The finesse. Your frame. The way you moved across that floor. You hit every single step right on. The attack. That was a sensational routine.” Bruno: “My love, you belong here. That was a beauty. You managed to put so many little details in the interpretation. Sometimes cool, sometimes catlike, sometimes sexy. She’s got it all.” Carrie Ann: “Hi, my friend. You brought tears to my eyes. Because I know how much you’ve been through. And I know that Nick is watching down on you, smiling at us, so proud of you. You were nothing but elegant, and beauty and finesse and just like an angel dancing. It was wonderful.”

JUDGES: 28 (Out of 40)

Britt and Martin, paso doble

 Martin Kove, for those not in the know, is the sensei on Cobra Kai. So he starts the dance with a spoken word chant to the audience, to which they respond. “Nerves do not exist in this ballroom, do they?” (Len must hate this part…) Then the dance starts. And oh, is he terrible. He’s among the worst of the dancers they’ve ever had on DWTS. He’s basically walking, and making gestures with his fists. Ugh.

Derek: “Cobra Kai forever! That opening speech got me fired up. I just feel like you were a little unprepared. Next week, go in rehearsal with that competitive mindset. Put in the hours, and we’ll see you next week, brother.” Bruno: “The pitch! It was like somebody pitching an epic film. I thought this was gonna be a blockbuster. I think we need to work on the content to make the blockbuster. At times, it looked like you didn’t quite know what was coming next.” Carrie Ann: “I just wanna say to all of you young folks out there. I hope you’re taking notes on what commitment to character looks like. Cause that was commitment to character. But with all due respect, it was more pata than it was paso doble, so next week, we’ll see what happens.” Len: “Well, lemme say, for someone in their 70s, I thought you came out and did a really gallant effort.”

JUDGES: 13 (Out of 40)

(I don’t think I’ve ever seen 3s on this show. Wow.)

Brandon and Kenya, foxtrot

I don’t know about that stripe thing on his pants. Otherwise, nice dance. I enjoyed it.

Bruno: “It was like watching Venus emerging from a kiss. (They had a replica of that Lips sofa onstage.) Classic, glossy, with a luxurious sheen. You move very very well.” Carrie Ann: “Nice, Kenya. Kenya, you look like a queen out there. What you have that most people struggle with is the refinement and the relaxed body. You just relax so easy, but in the right posture.” Len: “I liked the nice fluidity through the arms. It had a charm and a sophistication you wanna see in a foxtrot.” Derek: “So much potential. This is Week One. I can’t wait to see what you’re gonna do in this show. Beautiful.”

JUDGES: 26 (Out of 40)

Pasha and Christine, tango

In their package, she calls herself a “super fan” of DWTS. Then, she proceeds to ask him to show her his abs. (She does know his wife, Daniella, is also on the show, right?) He demurs, and says: “It’s our first meeting.” Instead of “HOW RUDE!” (Which is what I would’ve said.)

Certainly one of the best tangos of the night. Great choreography.

Carrie Ann: “Bling bling in the house. Yeah. You were like a diamond in the rough. Most dancers would pay to have that back that you have. The flexibility is incredible, but you’re a little inconsistent. But it’s still early. And this is exactly what we’re looking for on Dancing with the Stars.” Len: “It had staccato. I liked the routine. You had great control throughout it. Overall, I thought it was a terrific effort.” Derek: “I love that dress. I’m all about the bling. I’m all about the rhinestones. Really, really good. The frame was beautiful.” Bruno: “My queen of bling. You’re a gem. Little bit more polish, and you will achieve full brilliance.”

JUDGES: 25 (Out of 40)

(See? Len gave it a seven, when all the others gave it a 6.)

Lindsay and Matt, cha cha

They dance to “Give It To Me, Baby.” Can’t go wrong with Rick James.

Len: “I would’ve liked to have seen a little bit more hip action. That was lacking. However, if you listen to Lindsay, work hard, I think your future is gonna be rosy.” (*eyeroll*) Derek: “Let’s go! That was a great cha cha. Great job. And Lindsay, welcome back. So charismatic. Great performer.” Bruno: “These guys got plenty to give. And you did deliver. Because you really have a wonderful, spontaneous quality. Natural stage presence. They’re all right. If you get the wrong footwork, you won’t get the right hip action. Next time, you’ll be brilliant.” Carrie Ann: “Footwork is iffy, for sure. What I really love is the way you use the space. You’re not afraid to use the space. A lot of big guys dance small. You dance big, and the body rolls: A+.”

JUDGES: 24 (Out of 40)

Sharna and Brian, foxtrot

For my money, this is the best pairing of Week One, Season 30. Sharna Burgess and Brian Austin Green as a couple in real life, and here they are, dancing together. How wonderful! And to start off with a romantic foxtrot… I’m just swooning over here.

Sharna just looks stunning, and I just loved this dance. 

Derek: “My coaches always told me, ‘Never date your dance partner.’ But I’m dating my dance partner right now, and I think it works. Brian, that was so good, man. There was like an ease to you.” Bruno: “I don’t know why, but I’m sensing some very very strong, sizzling chemistry. I wonder why. You were Prince Charming out there. Don’t stop the flow.” Carrie Ann: “I love seeing Sharna so happy. Brian, you’re staring at her most of the dance. You also have to perform out to us, ok?” Len: “This competition is developing into something special.”

JUDGES: 24 (Out of 40)

And now….drum roll, please…. The big reveal…Two girls dancing together (for the first time in 30 seasons). (*faints on fainting couch*) I can see the ABC/Disney execs, sitting on the edge of their seats, waiting for the angry letters and emails and posts. Guess what? They didn’t come. In fact, you can stop clutching your pearls now. This was a great quickstep, and no one batted an eye.

Jenna and JoJo, quickstep

There are different accommodations that one makes to dance female-to-female. I’m sure in the ballroom dances, where the “male” role is so strongly defined (tango, paso doble), it might be a challenge. But dammit, Jenna Johnson is up to that challenge!

Personally, I’m so excited about this, even if it may take another 30 seasons to see that male-on-male rumba. #Sigh

The audience, btw, is clapping and cheering madly through this whole dance. They dance to “Are You Gonna Be My Girl?” And the answer to that is definitively YES. We have a female star with a female pro partner. Let Season 30 begin. History has been made.

Let’s just point out at this moment the elephant in the room here. Bruno has been making comments in his judging to the male stars that would (at any major corporation) cause him to be marched down to HR immediately. Salacious, sexy, talking about their body parts lasciviously. No one makes a big deal about that.

And the door was opened slightly when Johnny Weir danced in drag (as Amy Winehouse) in Season 29. But these girls are embracing what this means and putting it out there for this season. I can’t wait.

Bruno: “Finally, the groundbreaking moment we’ve all been waiting for. Jojo, I’m full of joy for everyone. I love to see this freedom of expression, this liveliness.” Carrie Ann: “JoJo Siwa, making history! You and Jenna. That was amazing. Not only are you taking the lead, you lifted your partner when she slipped. You had her back, you didn’t even bat an eye.” Len: “Full of attack, full of enthusiasm, it lost a little control here and there, but Wow! What an entertaining performance.” Derek: “You were born for Dancing with the Stars.”

JUDGES: 29 (Out of 40) (The highest score of the night!)

Since it’s the first week, no one is yet eliminated. We are just getting to know all the stars. And catching our breath at this wonderful history being made. Finally. 

And then, quietly, they show us this:

Awwwwww.I didn’t know Mary Wilson died. :-(  Interesting that it’s all women. No men died?

Now that makes me sad.

OK, here’s a way to cheer up.

So is JoJo going to be voted out immediately, after America gets irate and votes her out? (To which I say: did you see Martin Kove “dance”? :-o) Or is she going to take the Mirror Ball because America loves her and Jenna so much? We shall see. It’s going to be an interesting season.

MICHE’s Favorites of Week One

1. Sasha and Suni Lee, jive

2. Cheryl and Cody, tango

3. Sharna and Brian, foxtrot

4. Lindsay and Matt, cha cha

5. Daniella and Iman, jive

6. Jenna and JoJo, quickstep

7. Val and Olive Jade, salsa

8. Alan and Amanda, tango

9. Emma and Jimmie, tango

10. Pasha and Christine, tango

11. Artem and Melora, tango

12. Witney and the Miz, cha cha

13. Gleb and Mel C., cha cha

14. Brandon and Kenya, foxtrot

MUST GO HOME IMMEDIATELY

Martin Kove (sheesh)

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