DTWS S027, Week One: Big Surprises and Lots of Fun

Season 27 of Dancing with the Stars, starts with Tom Bergeron opening “the ballroom for business,” and then into a spectacular Mandy Moore-choreographed Busby Berkley-style extravaganza. Simply stunning stuff. Lots of troupe members we don’t know, as well as many pros we know and love. Even a moment of introducing the judges. And can I just say that this is one of the best casts they have had in eons?

People from sports, television, movies, radio, even a blind chick. (What?)

First up? Mary Lou Retton, gymnast in our hearts. Sasha Farber calls her “America’s Sweetheart.” Oh sure, crank out the red, white and blue.

Wonderful cha cha to kick off the competition.

Len: “It’s always tough coming out first. You’re pretty nifty for fifty. Don’t rush.” Bruno: “I’m glad to see you have lost none of that competitive streak. Still very elastic. You have great natural precision.” Carrie Ann: “I loved it. I think you are golden. You are fantastic.”

JUDGES’ SCORES: 19 (out of 30)

Milo Manheim (known for some zombie movie, but also Camryn Manheim’s son) is partnered with Witney. He’s the best partner she’s had in awhile. They dance a cha cha to her favorite rap-style music, but it’s actually pretty good. They do some moves I wouldn’t expect for the first week, like this one:

Bruno: “Such energy, exuberance, zest. Your timing is brilliant.” Carrie Ann: “That was exciting to watch. Your posture is fantastic.” Len: “You’re a dancer.”

JUDGES’ SCORES: 20 (out of 30)

Evanna Lynch (of late from the Harry Potter movies) is the best partner Keo ever had, and frankly, she deserved better. I really wish she’d been partnered with Sasha. That would’ve been amazing. But in any case, she does amazing work despite Keo.

So, of course, the first song she dances to in the premiere is “Do You Believe in Magic?“ I just adored their first dance. Evanna is luminescent. As much as I dislike Keo, she overcomes him.

Carrie Ann: “You can dance. You have beautiful lines, you have great control.” Len: “I can see that you’re a dancer. You just got a dance that didn’t suit you a lot on the first show. But there’s a dancer in there.” Bruno: “You’ve got the magic within you. Cast a spell with your body.”



JUDGES’ SCORES: 18 (out of 30)

We return to a hot bumper from the troupe, with Brit and Hayley proving that they should be pros already...

What I don’t like about Keo is that he never seems responsive to his partner. That is certainly not true with Artem, who this season is tasked with dancing with a blind Para-Olympian. Personally, I am not down with this trend (we’ve had a guy with one leg, a deaf guy, now Danelle). It is just painful to watch them, in most instances, though the pros do the best they can.

So, she relies on him to guide her, and their foxtrot ends up being beautiful. But seriously, this show is DEMANDING, for a sighted person. Ugh.

Len: “Good job, Artem. That was a tough call. And you coped brilliantly. You’ve taught so well. Your footwork was great.” Bruno: “That was so lovely.” Bruno is using gestures, as he does, to describe what she should do going forward. Bruno, she can’t see you. Ugh. Carrie Ann: “I’m still processing what I just witnessed. Because I think it’s a lot more information than we are actually noticing. What you did was spectacular. I think we could all feel the bond between you and Artem.”

JUDGES’ SCORES: 18 (out of 30)

You wonder sometimes: why do people do these things? What possesses a blind girl to want to go on a dance show? What causes the host of the number-one country radio station show to suddenly want to dance? I guess we’ll never know... really.

But this dance... wow. It was clear from the first step that Bobby Bones, though he never danced before, LOVED to be there doing this. I think we can safely say we have never seen a competitor like Bobby Bones. He loved it so much, at the end, he fell on the floor (nearly dropping Sharna in the process). It was a very charming, endearing introduction to this particular competitor, and for me, it won my heart immediately.

In the package, Sharna talks about how this is her 12th competition. Bobby: “So you teach me to move, and I will try to get you your first ever Mirror Ball?” “Deal,” says Sharna, as they shake. As he’s working, trying to conquer his body parts, he says, “We’re gonna win the Mirror Ball. I want her to win the Mirror Ball.” (It really seems like winning the Mirror Ball is the farthest thing from Sharna’s mind at this moment, but she’s humoring him.)

So, yeah, they are kicking it on a set that looks like a country bar, doing a jive like a jive’s never been done. The ending of it just makes me laugh. I think he knocked out a camera person. He gives Sharna a big kiss on her cheek.

Tom: “The only thing I have to say is: Decaf!” Bobby grabs Tom’s mic, and says: “This is the greatest night of my life.” Tom and Sharna are laughing. Bobby is waving to the crowd. It’s just wacky, and I love it.

Bruno: “Surreal. It was like watching Ryan Seacrest, doing Buddy Holly, going jiving crazy with red-hot Sharna. It was exquisitely demented. If you go for it, go it that way.” Carrie Ann: “You’re a little rough around the edges, but something about it was incredible. You have this wild rock star-like thing happening. I loved every minute of it. I’m glad it was a jive.” Len: “Bobby, what you did is you came out, and attacked the dance, gave it plenty of welly, really went full-on, flat out. But if you wanna see someone come out and attack a dance...” (Bobby screams.)

Tom: “We’re actually going to have a welly intervention... but in the meantime...” (and directs them upstairs.) Erin: “I gotta ask what I ask athletes, ‘Tell me what was going through your mind there.’” Bobby: “I loved every minute of it. I’ve never had so much fun in my whole life. People like me, I’m from a small town of 700 people. We don’t get to be on Dancing with the Stars.” Erin: “I love that!”

Then, they show a replay of the end of the dance, as he hits Sharna in the head, she nearly loses her top, and he drops to the floor. Erin, laughing: “It’s so good!”

JUDGES’ SCORES: 20 (out of 30)

Erin: “How does that feel?” Bobby: “It feels amazing! You’re Erin Andrews.” Erin: “We’re gonna send it back to Tom Bergeron.” Tom: “I feel I have to be more excited now... just to keep it up.”

As far as I’m concerned, they can just shut the show down after that. That was so awesome.

Tom: “Bobby Bones was last seen doing cartwheels down Topanga Canyon...”

What on Earth can follow that? Oh. Just maybe this.

Cheryl Burke, who has been away from the show for too long, is back. And look at her partner. Wow. There is one Juan Pablo who has forever scarred the network’s name. This, however, is NOT that Juan Pablo.

Juan Pablo di Pace. Ay carumba! Hotness on wheels, this one.

And oh! This dance! The hottest, steamiest salsa that these boards have seen in a long while. The song is about “Yo Quiero Dinero,” but it sure doesn’t seem like it’s money they are asking for. (I just noticed, as I rewatched that for the third time, that they have dollar bills floating around them as confetti. Nice.)

Yes, ladies and gentlemen: Cheryl Burke is BACK! Wow.

Tom: “Can I just say, before I get to them, that did not look like a Week One. There’s some chemistry here, definitely.”

Carrie Ann: “Yeah, I speak on behalf of all the ladies: that has fuego potential. Chemistry already, Week One, it’s already off the charts. Be careful how you handle Cheryl. You’re throwing her around a little.” Len: “Well, I gotta say, you are 100% the hunk with the junk in the trunk.” Cheryl looks shocked, Tom’s embarrassed. (It's not untrue.) “Salsa is all about rhythm,” Len continues, “you had a lot of rhythm going on there. The actual dance was top-rate.” Bruno: “Well, I’d pay for that. I think plenty of people would. Come on, that’s a salsa that gets under your skin. The shapes they were making. Like two intertwining cobra. I saw something very, very hot.” 

Erin, back in the Red Room, congratulates Cheryl on being “newly engaged,” (as Cheryl shows off her ring). And Erin says, “you’ve never looked better.”

Erin: “I speak for all the women. I don’t think a lot of ladies want to see him leave... And Bruno.”

JUDGES’ SCORES: 22 (out of 30)

Stand-up comedian Nikki Glaser is saying in her standup why she wants to be on #DWTS, “I wanna wear the fun, hot outfits, and make guys who rejected me regret it.” Um, not the BEST motivation...

So, that was a salsa very unlike Cheryl’s salsa, but she also had a bunch of fun doing it. And her red outfit is very hot.

Len: “It looked awkward. It was too careful. You gotta use your hips.” Bruno: “It wasn’t a total trainwreck. You gotta work on that.” Carrie Ann: “This is all new to you. All you gotta do is think about your whole body working together.”

JUDGES’ SCORES: 17 (out of 30)

Alexis Ren, apparently a swimsuit model, dances with Alan Bersen, who also has had a shoddy run of partners of late. Alexis says, “I am a model, but you probably know me from social media.” (Um, no.) Apparently she does have 12 million followers, though, so maybe you are following her.

They dance a jive in the ice cream shop to “Good Golly Miss Molly.”

Bruno: “Alan, you’ve done a great job. That was a very good jive. Very difficult. You did it well.” Carrie Ann: “I’m really impressed. It was really well rehearsed. It was well choreographed.” Len: “I love those toe-heel swivels. You did ’em great. You did that jive great. I thought it was brilliant.” 

JUDGES’ SCORES: 21 (out of 30)

A really cool bumper with Hayley brings us back.

Of course, Bo Duke dancing would have to bring out the famous car. He says: “My goal is to win, or die trying.” They are doing a foxtrot.

Carrie Ann: “You know your way around a dance floor. There’s a natural elegance and charm that I think is gonna suit this competition well.” Len: “It was a bit rough. It lacked any finesse and quality of movement throughout.” Bruno: “Always interesting, and you did not run out of fuel.”

JUDGES’ SCORES: 18 (out of 30)

She’s a recording star. He’s “brand-new pro Brandon,” as Tom clarifies. She says: “I know he wants that Mirror Ball. I want that Mirror Ball. I can’t wait to show America what we got.”

What we got, so far, is WAY too much dry ice smoke happening. They do a jive on this pink-encircled stage.

Tom: “I’ve said it through other couples tonight. That did not look like a Week One.”

Len: “It had plenty of snap, crackle and pop. Performance? Top-notch.” Bruno: “That was a foxy jive. Oh wow, Brendon (sic), such a good job. That was so fast, so dynamic. And yet, clean and precise.” Carrie Ann: “You are a star. There is just something spectacular about you when you dance. You did great choreography, but I’d like to see her shine a little more. There was so much choreography, I didn’t get to see you. I disagree with Bruno. I would’ve like to see more moments, just tone it down.”

JUDGES’ SCORES: 23 (out of 30)

Tom introduces them as “the newly engaged Val Chmerkovskiy...”

Nancy McKeon and Val do a quickstep to “It Don’t Mean a Thing (If It Ain’t Got That Swing).” Just lovely. Nancy is lucky to have one of the best choreographers on this show as her partner. It is always great to see Val in action. His dances are just alive.

I loved it.

Tom says, “I haven’t seen that many expressions on a face since Mark Ballas was here.” Nancy: “Love him.”

Bruno: “And off she goes at full gallop. I loved the energy.” Carrie Ann: “I liked how you tell the story. I loved the animation. You hit every moment. You delivered what Val needed to deliver to tell this kind of story. Use that body contact.” Len: “Nothing fancy, Nancy. Just a good, solid performance.”

Tom mentions how everyone tonight is having such a good time. Nancy, “These are just some of the most fantastic people I’ve ever met, this room is spectacular, and what a great audience.”

JUDGES’ SCORES: 18 (out of 30)

Then we have our reigning Mirror Ball winner, Jenna, paired up with “Grocery Store Joe.” For those who don’t know him, he was on The Bachelorette, and got dumped in the first episode. (He swears, “I will NOT let the same thing happen here.”) But really he came to fame on Bachelor in Paradise, where he was around a lot longer, and we were rooting for him, and his love.

So, I gotta say, by the time Joe appeared on this episode of #DWTS, I was already rooting for Bobby Bones and Grocery Store Joe, no matter how bad either appeared to be. I threw every vote to them in the early days, and I suspect others did too.

The dance set is a grocery store (of course), and Jenna and Joe have buggies, even though both are also attired in formal wear. Sure, OK. They dance a quickstep.

Carrie Ann: “Good news is that you have quite a fan section. Not quite a dancer yet. I see you have charm. And you can push a shopping cart really well.” Len: “Oh Joe. I really like you. I was really rooting for you.” (Then he goes on to basically compare Joe’s dancing to a pimple that no one can ignore. Yikes.) Bruno: “I think you left the dance technique in the shopping trolley. You’ll find it next week.” 

JUDGES’ SCORES: 14 (out of 30)

Nothing proves the effect of social media on the results of this show more than the fact of how far Joe went in this show. (Cause the judges hated him, or at least his dancing.)

Sometimes I really like Lindsay Arnold. She was fantastic with David Ross, for example. But often, she gets tall people who jump over her, or use her in incredible lifts. That’s kind of her thing. Personally, I prefer someone like Val, who brings a new freshness to the same steps with each dance.

This time, she has a Super Bowl champion. He says: “Let’s go get that Mirror Ball trophy.”

Len: “You’ve got a fantastic presence when you come out onto the floor. You’ve got a wonderful personality, and you’re not a bad dancer.” Bruno: “That was the Delightful, the Delicious DeMarcus the dancer. You were so light on your steps. I could hardly hear you hitting the floor. You really are the one to watch.” Carrie Ann: “Football players have a huge legacy to live up to on this show. We could see why now, tonight, because of that athleticism. That inner light that comes out of you when you dance, it’s like YUM.”

JUDGES’ SCORES: 23 (out of 30)

They are tied for the highest score tonight. No one goes home tonight. There is another episode (part 2) tomorrow night, which will have an elmination.

Miche’s Favorites of Week One
1. Bobby Bones and Sharna (jive)
2. Juan Pablo and Cheryl (salsa)
3. Mary Lou and Sasha (cha cha)
4. Evanna and Keo (foxtrot)
5. Nancy and Val (quickstep)
6. Milo and Witney (cha cha)
7. Alexis and Alan (jive)
8. Joe and Jenna (quickstep)
9. John and Emma (foxtrot)
10. DeMarcus and Lindsay (cha cha)

PLEASE GO HOME
1. Blind chick
2. Nikki Glaser

PLEASE NOTE: In between Season 26 and Season 27 of #DWTS, we also had #DWTS Kids. I watched it. It was fun to see the pros mentor the kids. However, it was just weird to see children doing rumbas and Argentine tangos, and I really hope they don’t do it again. Just get back to REGULAR #DWTS, ABC! (So I’m not covering it.)

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DTWS S026, Athletes, Week Four: And the Winner Is...

Oh, we’ll get to that in a minute.  First, let’s recap the show.

It opens with a quicker cut of the first show, when all the athletes were bathed in gold. They started with ten athletes, now they are down to 3. Cut to the three remaining stars.

“Who will win?”

Tom Bergeron and Erin Andrews (who looks stunning) refer to how “it seems like it only started a few short weeks ago,” (cause it did). And they tell us how this finale, which is normally a two-day, much-dragged-out affair) is now down to only ONE HOUR. Wow.  

So instead of bringing everyone from the season back to dance, the supercut at the beginning will have to do, right? OK.

We jump right in, with the story of Tonya and Sasha. Sasha Farber is long overdue for a Mirror Ball win, and Tonya Harding is in the midst of the comeback of her life. And they sure have some kind of magic together. “This has been a journey that I will always treasure,” says Tonya.

I think tonight’s format is basically going to be each couple gets a dance, then they dance their freestyles, then winners. Done.

Tonya and Sasha’s first dance begins with the set bathed in purple. Tonya stands alone. Sasha joins her. They are dancing a Viennese waltz. Now let me say this about that. Some people on this show do great Viennese waltzes, others have no technique at all. Sasha infuses his choreography with pure poetry and beauty. Beautiful, intricate arm movements, and the constant turns that are an integral part of Viennese waltzes. They are dancing to “Time of My Life,” and Tonya is just beaming through this. It is glorious to see.

At the end, he gestures to her. She takes a bow. Beautiful. (Just like they do in skating.) This is what Dancing with the Stars is all about. So graceful and wonderful.

Tom mentions how one of the best parts of this season is seeing Tonya’s smile. He says it really doesn’t look fake. She says: “It’s definitely not fake. This truly has been the time of my life.” She laughs and puts her hand on his arm. Tom: “That’s wonderful.” Sasha smiles.

Len: “I’ve got to be honest. You haven’t had an easy journey to this final: you’ve had a foxtrot, a quickstep, a rumba. Now, the Viennese waltz. You danced it with an elegance and a sophistication. Plus, you had great control. I loved those spins, then into those couple of whisps. Right on time, beautifully danced. Great start to the finale.” Bruno: “Absolutely. And add to that, I’m watching a born-again Tonya. You danced as if a weight has been lifted from your heart.” She nods yes. “Rejuvenated,” he continues, “radiant, enjoying the moment, going for it. It’s lovely to see, my darling. It really is.” Carrie Ann: “What a truly incredible journey this has been for you. I’ve enjoyed watching every step of it. What I find truly attractive about your dancing, every movement has real meaning to it. When you do this (she raises her hand above her head), you are truly expressing joy and freedom, and I think that resonates with all of us.”

JUDGES’ SCORES:  26 (out of 30)



Josh and Sharna are up next with a foxtrot. Their package expresses shock that they made the finals. Sharna talks about how the person of Josh is so different than the “beast” on the football field.  They are both attired in pale blue, and it’s all very dreamy.

Bruno: “Oh yes, the Beast has been tamed by the Beauty. Like a real prince. Dashing, debonair, self-assured. You’ve come so far. It really is a shame this season is so short.” Carrie Ann: “I think that you really bring to life what this whole season is about: being competitive and bringing your excellence to a new form of art, and I see the art that you bring on the field here. There’s poetry now that wasn’t there when you first started. You really brought the ballroom spirit to life. You did an excellent job.” Len: “Throughout the competition, you’ve had an ease and an elegance about your dancing. And this was no exception. Great performance.”

Erin talks about what a fierce competitor Josh is “on the gridiron.” She asks him what it’s like in the ballroom tonight. Josh talks about how great Sharna is, and Erin says: “Love it. Love the teamwork.”

JUDGES’ SCORES:  27 (out of 30)

Josh says their Freestyle is “going to be epic.” Josh asks Sharna: “What’s the big word?” Sharna says, no joke: “Supercalifragilsticexpealidocious.” Erin: “Wow. All Mary Poppins up in here.” Tom deadpans: “All of us here at Disney appreciate that that is the word you chose.”

Adam and Jenna talk in their package about how in sync they are. Adam: “She has taught me what being a kind and dedicated teacher can be for somebody. She’s one of the coolest people I’ve ever met.” As he says this, they show them, butts up in the air, finishing a dance. They are in polka dots, head to head.

(Adam says: “Yes!”) After the package, they launch into a jazz version of “Anything You Can Do.” Simply awesome. They get a standing O from the audience.

Carrie Ann: “You need to take that to Broadway. I see Broadway in your future, my friend. You two are like the Wonder Twins of dance. Together, you save the world. End of story.” Len: “Fantastic.” Bruno: “It was so exquisitely theatrical. It had wit, humor, but technically, it was brilliant. Your timing and partner work is flawless. Excellent.”



Tom asks Adam if the show met his expectations. Adam: “Even above and beyond everything that I thought it would be. And I think I owe that a lot to Jenna. I owe that to everything that she’s brought into my life in this crazy time.” He hugs her, as they are both emotional.

JUDGES’ SCORES:  30 (out of 30)

They do have the other contestants from this season up in the Balcony, suited up in their original gold suits from the first episode. They appear to be cheering on the other contestants who are now the three finalists.

At the half, our leaderboard shows Adam and Jenna leading, with a perfect 30. Josh and Sharna follow with 27, and Tony and Sasha are in third with 26.

Sasha says that he wants their Freestyle “to feel like a celebration, a celebration of Tonya.” Tonya, in talking with Sasha, says that what got them through the negativity and the hate (that was there at the start) “is America.” She says: “The amazing change in people’s hearts is what’s keeping me going. I never thought that I would feel this alive again. America pulling for me has definitely changed my heart one more time.”

Then, Tonya drops down, out of the ceiling, in a purple outfit, surrounded by a purple curtain, dancing (fittingly) to “I Will Survive.” Lots of flips and spins and gymnastic/skating moves in this Freestyle. So great.



Tom talks about the (possibly scary) idea of bringing her down “from the Jumbotron.” She says she “wanted to go for it.”

Len: “If you can survive that routine, you can survive anything. It was full of fun, full of energy. You chucked everything you could think of into one and a half minutes of joy. It was terrific.”

Bruno: “She was dancing as if her life depended on it.” Carrie Ann jumps out from behind the judges’ stand to give Tonya a big hug. “I love you,” she keeps saying to Tonya. “I love all the Freestyles I’ve seen in 26 seasons, but that was so much fun. Cartwheels, way to go! Freestyle is all about impact. You made an impact.”

Tom asks Tonya how she felt, “cause obviously it worked for the room.” “Absolutely amazing,” says she. “This was my last dance, and I’m here to prove I belong here.”

JUDGES’ FREESTYLE SCORES:  30 (out of 30)

Tonya and Sasha are thrilled to get their first perfect score for their last dance together.

Sharna says: “Josh sees it as a positive that he’s an underdog in this final.”

Their Freestyle is football-themed. Lots of great work by the troupe, but I’m already liking it less than Tonya and Sasha’s. There’s a line in the song to “walking on water,” so of course there is water in the dance. *eyeroll*

Bruno, coyly: “You're wet. (pause) That was such a strong performance. Heroic. He was the leader of the pack. You know who was the boss in that dance? You were.” Carrie Ann: “First of all, I have to say, Sharna, that was maybe the most incredible piece of choreography you have ever done. It was so powerful and so fitting. I saw a champion out there.” Len: “There’s no way you’re the underdog in this final. I had so much fun tonight. This was just great. I loved the drama of it.”

JUDGES’ FREESTYLE SCORES:  30 (out of 30)

Then, they show Josh running into Artem in rehearsal.

So, there was this, which I really hated... In some ways, it did build on where they started in this season. The song, I think, was “Scooby Doo Pa Pa.” It’s obviously way advanced dance for me.

Carrie Ann: “Your style was incredible. It was brave. It was definitely a choice. You have led this competition with incredible dancing. You have been such an incredible performer.” Len: “What it lacked in convention, it made up for in invention. But I’m an old ballroom guy.” Bruno: “It was a high-style freestyle.” (They all hated it too.)

JUDGES’ FREESTYLE SCORES:  28 (out of 30)

Seriously, I didn’t think it was one of their best dances this season.

They bring out all the season’s dancers, for a big finale dance, choreographed by the wondrous Mandy Moore. (Thankfully, it’s not too complicated.)

Then, they bring out the final three.

Results? They are only naming the winner.

Proving that once again, America’s votes count for a lot... It’s Adam and Jenna.

Miche’s Favorites Single Dances
1. Adam and Jenna (jazz)
2. Tonya and Sasha (Viennese waltz)
3. Josh and Sharna (foxtrot)

Miche’s Favorite Freestyles
1. Tonya and Sasha
2. Josh and Sharna

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DTWS S026, Athletes, Week Three: Picking the MVPs

This spectacular opening number once again bears the mark of (as Tom calls her) “Emmy-winning choreographer” Mandy Moore. Just a fantastic dance with all the male pros and female pros, and the troupe, to start. Then they introduce the “guest mentors,” Nastia Lukin, Von Miller and Meryl Davis. (in the middle of the dance). And then, a rousing welcome to tonight‘s guest judge, David Ross.

The blue costumes harken back to the old days of DWTS, with the added red shoes  (on the women) to modernize it a bit.

They are calling this week, “MVP Week,” a moniker I really hate. Guess it’s tying back into the Athletes/sports theme.

MIRAI’S MVP: Her mom

Mirai and Alan, quickstep

So, it’s funny how a couple weeks ago, Mirai said she had “never seen” Alan on DWTS before. But when they go visit Marai’s mom and dad in the package, her dad says: “OMG, I saw you on TV. A big star!” Alan laughs modestly.

Alan and Mirai are still not in their costumes as we go to break. So Tom stalls for time by introducing David Ross again: “The man with more wardrobe changes than Cher.” (He’s already in his second outfit.) The four judges are all holding the DWTS number-one fingers.

They dance the quickstep to “Boss” from Fifth Harmony, although Mirai doesn’t say that her mom (whom she’s ostensibly dedicating this dance to) is the Boss, just that her mom taught HER how to be the Boss. Um, ok.

It’s all gold, and looks like a big casino. Thank goodness for the troupe. (Lovely Lindsay Arnold joined them.)

David Ross: “You are a boss. That was impressive. I love the quickstep, one of my first favorite dances. You killed that, Alan. Your mom’s love empowered you, and it showed tonight.” Len: “ What I liked was you didn’t mess about. You came out, all guns blazing, full on, attacking the dance.” Bruno: “Bright, light, buzzing. It was like watching a firefly in full flight. I loved the energy. I loved the visual impact.” Carrie Ann tells Mirai‘s mom (in the audience) in Japanese that she did really well. “You did fantastic. You’re on a roll.” She then proceeds to tell her that “when you dance in a group, you were not paying attention to everybody.”

Tom notes that it’s actually the semifinals.

I really hate Mirai’s arrogance, I’ve gotta say. It’s just something that’s not done on #DWTS. Ugh. She’s talking to Erin, and says: “I wanted to start the show off with a bang so that my competitors have somewhere to go.” One thing that Mirai is severely underestimating here is that the vote of America is a large part of one’s score. And America doesn’t like arrogance AT ALL.

I’ve never seen Erin open-mouthed like that. Ugh. Enough of this twit.

JUDGES’ SCORES: 35 (out of 40)

This was actually just a bumper, which gave Meryl big credit, even though the most stunning move was Jenna’s. (Jenna and Alan were dancing with her.)

This move, where Alan flips Jenna around from THE FRONT. Incredible stuff.

JENNIE’S MVP: Her husband

Jennie and Keo, Viennese waltz

Keo always seems so uncomfortable with his partners. Here he is in the package, down in Louisiana, on Jennie‘s farm, telling her some BS about how last week “was awesome,” instead of: it was a train wreck that we barely pulled out, which is the truth.

They show extended perfection pictures of her perfect husband, and gorgeous kids. Her husband calls her an angel. (Gag me.)

They dance a Viennese waltz to a Tim McGraw-Faith Hill song, “The Rest of Our Life.” It’s really beautiful, and I’ll bet that after last week’s meltdown, the producers talked to her about choosing music that more reflects her tastes.

The dance is really beautiful, gorgeous set and costumes. At points in hold, Keo looks miles away from her (not close body contact, as it’s supposed to be). The set is shimmeringly floral, with petals falling. Her husband Casey steps up with a bouquet for her at the end. So sweet.

Len: “I like the soft, sweeping movement of it. It had an elegance about it.” But he also notes that they should’ve danced more in hold. Bruno: “I noticed that you actually start to trust your partner.” (BWHAHAHAHAHA) Carrie Ann: “What I love most about you is you really do embody what this show is about. When you dance, I love the joy. You expressed true joy. That draws us all into what you are doing.” David Ross (baseball player to softball player): “You remind me so much of my journey on this show. It’s very difficult to get outside your comfort zone. I’m super proud of you. I loved that frame you were in. So beautiful.”

JUDGES’ SCORES: 29 (out of 40)

Nastia Lukin comes out, awash in pink, to dance a swing number with Sasha and Keo. Great choreography. At the end, she doesn’t seem to know what to do with her hand. Sasha grabs it and puts it around his neck. Then, she gets the hint, and puts her other one around Keo.

Chris’ MVP: his mom

Chris and Witney, foxtrot

Chris’ mom is “a superfan of the show. She’s always watching Dancing with the Stars. She loves the choreography, she loves the dancers, she loves the costumes. She loves everything about the show.” They show her hobnobbing with Tom Bergeron (the first place I’d go if I were ever backstage there).

They foxtrot to a great classic, “I’ve Got Rhythm.” They have a bit where they dance atop a piano. The troupe helps make this dance. Chris pulls his mom into the dance at the end. Chris tells Tom, “That was the best Mother’s Day ever. How do I top that?” Cut to his mom, swooning in her seat. Tom: “It’s gonna be tough.”



Bruno: “I’ve been razzle-dazzled by that foxtrot.You’re so dashing, you have such verve. There was a little bit of Fosse there, there were elements of Gene Kelly there. As an interpretation of a theme, it was outstanding. The choreography, the way you built up to that fantastic finale, with the hats, was brilliant.” Carrie Ann: “It’s a showstopper. Right, Mom? You were dancing up and down, vertical.” Then, she gets in this thing, and keeps saying, “balls to the walls.” She can’t stop saying it. Tom has to come over and say, “When you’re in a hole, stop digging.” (I swear sometimes I really think Carrie Ann needs medication.) Then she gets a grip on herself and says that she has to count off for the lift, which Chris says was “a catch.” Carrie Ann says it’s a lift because he didn’t put her down immediately. David: “Coming from a baseball player, great catch. I know how scary it is, dancing by yourself. It was a great routine. Props are difficult. Love the hat.” Len: “I’ve gotta say, the tune’s ‘I’ve Got Rhythm,’ but there wasn’t a lot of rhythm. It was a bit wooden. However, once you got into the routine, there was plenty going on. There was elements of quickstep. There was a little bit of foxtrot there. The whole thing was full of entertainment.”

Ouch. The whole dance was supposed to be foxtrot.  “A little bit of foxtrot”? (It’s true. It really was more ‘jazz.’)

JUDGES’ SCORES: 33 (out of 40)

After the scores, Witney pulls out the old trope that “we just wanted to entertain. That’s what the show is about.” And yet, some pros do manage to use the steps of the actual dances they are dancing, and “entertain” us. Len’s 7, I thought, was the only accurate score.

Von Miller dances with Sharna and Witney in a quick bumper.

Tonya’s MVP: her dad (“my daddy”)

Tonya and Sasha, rumba

In their package, Tonya talks about how she lost her dad nine years ago. “He always gave me 100% unconditional love. He loved his little girl. And I loved him. I miss my dad so much.”

I just gotta say it. It’s always weird to me when people do a rumba (sexy dance) to pay tribute to their dad.

Luckily, sometimes they do it in an ethereal, dreamy way, like this one. She walks out, looking at pictures of her dad. The lyrics start with: “when I see you again.” It was beautiful.

Tonya says: “I brought him onto the dance floor to show everybody what real love is. Stop hate.”

Carrie Ann: “There’s no better way to pay tribute to someone you love than to dance with your heart like that. When you dance with your heart open, there’s an authenticity to the way you dance. A gravitas that I love to watch. I think your dad is not alone, when you say he was in your corner? I think we’re all in your corner now.” David: “People don’t know how hard it is to watch that kind of package, and get out here and do what you just did. That was very inspiring, that was very emotional. And I’m very proud of you. That was awesome.” Len: “What I liked? I liked the light and shade. It wasn’t at one level. There was speed, then it went a little bit soft, then into the dance again. You coulda done with a bit more hip action. But the whole package? Full of emotion. Full of lovely dancing.” Bruno: “Very nice flow. Great musicality. Your lines are getting better.”

Erin talks about how emotional the dance was, then asks her what it would feel like to get into the finale. Tonya: “It would mean the world to me. Whether I win or not, doesn’t matter. What matters is that I’m here, and having a wonderful time. And I don’t want to leave.” Erin asks her about the public support. She motions to Sasha. “You feel like it’s your job to take care of her, and to go through this journey with her, which all of you guys do, with all our stars that we have on the show. But (to Tonya) the support from the public, what has that been like for you?” Tonya: “It’s been amazing. Thank you, America, from the bottom of my heart. Thank you.”

JUDGES’ SCORES: 33 (out of 40)

Adam’s MVP: his mom

Courtesy of Just Jared. And ABC.

Adam and Jenna, contemporary

And then there was this.

Adam talks in the package about his mom, a single mom of six kids. Wow. They are dancing to a Coldplay song that Adam skated to.

Anyone who reads this column knows I don’t really like contemporary at all, and really hated the day they brought it to DWTS. However, Jenna’s mind-blowing choreography takes it to a whole new level. She really does contemporary as an artform. The dance was stunningly beautiful, as she and Adam portrayed two birds.

First, they are chicks in a cage, then, they grow up to leave the nest. They fly and they are beautiful birds together, and you just had to see this amazing dance.

Just visual poetry. So beautiful. Landmark DWTS dance. Very powerful. A great tribute to his mom.

As they stand by Tom, Adam and Jenna hug. It’s obviously very emotional for them both.

David: “That was beautiful. Just felt so connected through your dance, whether you were together or apart. That was, by far, my favorite dance of the night.” Len: “Obviously, I liked the emotion of the dance. It had great control, mixed with flair. It was a little bit stop-start on occasion, and spiky. I’m not a great fan, but it’s the best dance I’ve seen tonight.” Bruno: ”Oh, my darlings. You were like two birds of paradise, mesmerizing and enchanting. But what is extraordinary is how in tune you are, with  each other, and with the music. You’re like the same instrument, playing simultaneously. It’s impossible to tell who’s the professional.” He compares it to Matthew Bourne’s Swan Lake, “a masterpiece, and this is a masterpiece of a dance.”

Carrie Ann: “Most impressive is that choreography, as fluid and as easy as you made it look, very challenging. Jenna was wobbling on occasion. That’s how challenging it was. I love that you push yourself that hard. What is amazing is that I just wanted to thank you. This is why artists create: to have moments like this, where it’s just pure perfection.”

Erin talks about watching the dance with everyone (backstage): “There wasn’t a dry eye. It’s gorgeous.” Erin: “That was beautiful. You look gorgeous. Thank you for taking us through that journey. You are clearly emotional right now. I know this is your song from the Olympics. What is going on with your eyes, these tears?”

Adam: “It’s crazy. The only thing I’m thankful for is that I’m a beautiful crier.” Jenna laughs. Adam: “It’s so hard to watch that package before you go out and dance. But I channeled so many things. Like my memories at the Olympics, my mom being here. It’s incredible. And Jenna was able to pull all of that together. I think it shows how amazing she is.” (Agreed!)

JUDGES’ SCORES: 39 (out of 40)

Erin: “Speechless. It was absolutely gorgeous.”

Who gave the one 9? Of course, Len. I think what he was miffed about is that it was much more a So You Think You Can Dance dance than a DWTS dance. But one assimilates the art one knows, and it becomes part of you. And, for better or for worse, it is now part of DWTS. Sorry, Len. Many would argue (and have argued) that Len is part of the old guard, and DWTS needs new blood.

Well, they sure have it with Jenna. She is living proof of why they needed to add contemporary to the dance palette here. To present us with breathtaking artworks like that.

We come back to a steamy bumper with Gleb, Emma, Lindsay and Artem. Whew. (Quite wonderful.)

Josh’s MVP(s): his four brothers

Josh and Sharna, contemporary

Sharna, in the package, says she thinks last week’s 7s were “too harsh.” (Agreed.) Josh talks about his four brothers being his MVP(s). Josh: “I feel like having brothers made me become a better football player.”

They dance contemporary to “Stand by Me.” His brothers are on the sidelines, watching.

It was a beautiful, gorgeous dance. There is an amazing lift right in the middle.

Len: “I was concerned. After Adam’s contemporary, I thought ‘Uh oh, here we go.’ (Len obviously hates contemporary as much as I do... usually...) But I’m gonna say this. It was different to his, but there was a beautiful fluidity about the whole dance. The lifts were seamless. The entries, the exits. I liked it so much.” Bruno: “Strong, assured, confident. But what you did, you took such great care of Sharna. It was loving. And it was reassuring. It’s all very well getting it up, but it’s the dismount that’s hard. Usually what happens, you lose the flow of the dance. You never did. It was all seamless. It was extremely musical.” Carrie Ann: “We don’t normally agree on contemporary dances, but I absolutely agree with everything Len said. There was a sure-footedness about you that made me have peace watching it. You did every movement with so much love and concern for Sharna. And every lift was impeccable. I've never seen that lift before, executed that way. You were on fire. You were in the zone.” David: “One word: smooth. As smooth as you could ask for. That was beautiful. I know how hard those lifts are. I almost dropped Lindsay a couple of times. But that was very smooth and elegant. Nice job.”

JUDGES’ SCORES: 36 (out of 40)

Now they are doing some craziness, called Ballroom Battles. I hate these distractions.

They talk about some kind of Passion Meter, “so you can see how you’re voting in real time.” And by real time, they mean the East Coast and Central time zones. So, whatever, says this Pacific time zone fan.

I’m just gonna go through this quick.

Jennie/Keo vs. Tonya/Sasha

My money’s on Sasha in any battle. Of course, they do more elaborate tricks and moves (IMHO).

POINTS: Tonya/Sasha

Adam/Jenna vs. Mirai/Alan

For my money, Adam/Jenna just steamrollered the competition. Mirai and Alan were fine, but Adam and Jenna just have a special magic this season. They were more in tune with the music, too. I always prefer it when the dancers acknowledge the lyrics in a dance. That was so good.

POINTS: America (ET and CT only) breaks the tie. It’s Adam and Jenna.

Chris/Witney vs. Josh/Sharna

That was tough, but I’d give it to Josh/Sharna by a hair.

POINTS: Another tie, broken by America. No, wait. David held up the wrong paddle. Josh and Sharna win.

OK. Who’s going home?

First, who’s “dancing in the finale”?

Adam and Jenna. (YAY!!!!)

Tonya and Sasha. (Double YAY!!!)

and....

Josh and Sharna.

The rest are going home.


MICHE’S FAVORITE INDIVIDUAL DANCES OF WEEK THREE
1. Adam and Jenna, contemporary
2. Tonya and Sasha, rumba
3. Chris and Witney, foxtrot
4. Mirai and Alan, quickstep

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