DWTS S023, Week 6: Latin Night Not as Steamy as Promised

It was billed as "the hottest night of the season." Well, it wasn't. It's Latin night at Dancing with the Stars, so normally that means a lot of hot dances. Still, the hottest night so far this season was when Jana and Gleb came out on Night 1 with that STEAMY Viennese waltz. You heard me. (So it was steamy and inappropriate. On this night, when it is appropriate, their dance wasn't so steamy.)

This dance, Week 1, was HOT. (But it wasn't supposed to be.)

Old favorite Pitbull kicked off the show (with two other guys) and all of the female pros, plus a bevy of Pitbull's own female dancers. The number (as his numbers usually are) was all over the place, using every bit of stage. The best thing about it? Having Allison Holker among the dancers really made it sparkle. Although Sharna and Witney were really his arm candy...

What Latin Night REALLY is is complicated. It's Week 6, the rubber has hit the road, and if you're still here, these steps get complicated. The Latin dances, one of the biggest staples of the ballroom circuit, have been scaled back in recent years, adding more (*shudder*) Contemporary and less proper samba. But on Latin Night, everyone is on a Latin dance.

Really, what you see is not so much HOT as struggling with a lot of steps (for the most part).

This starts right out of the gate with these two: Ryan and Cheryl. For all the times Ryan reminds us that he has "Cuban" heritage, he doesn't seem to have the Latin rhythm in his blood very much. The whole samba, they are taking each other's clothes off, but it doesn't seem sexy at all. In fact, at the end, they end up in bathing suits under a black light (and he has glow-in-the-dark kneepads, which really kill the mood).

HOT OR NOT: Not
JUDGES: 30 (out of 40)

Also, another crazy thing that happened on this show is that, well, Pitbull hasn't been on as a judge in a long while. So he forgot the whole system and just blurted out his score as the judges are giving their comments. AWKWARD... They set him straight for later judging... sheesh.

I love Sasha and Terra with a passion that I've only felt rarely on this show. The connection they have, the chemistry, the singularity of movement--all of that is huge. But really, the magic of these two (shown again in this paso doble) is the way that Sasha takes the elements of the dance, and molds it to her unique needs.

I would've been giving these two all 10s weeks ago. This dance is no exception. Between the music (they consistently have the best music), the costumes, the sets and lighting, and mostly Sasha's stunning choreography, these two are sincerely my favorite on this show. Sasha did this thing this time around...I don't know what the step is called, but often there is a step in paso where the man is on his knees (and usually he bounces up quickly). In this dance, he stayed down on his knees for quite a bit, and it made it feel more intimate because now he was on Terra's level. Very powerful.

Just stunning. They blow me away, week after week after week.

HOT OR NOT: Not (but WHAT a dance!)
JUDGES: 30 (out of 40) (Boooo!)

I am so over Amber's whiny madness. Although I love to see Maks dance, I was quite happy to see these two get voted out this week.

They cha cha to a song called "Blah Blah Cha Cha." Quite fitting. One thing that really bugged me (other than Amber's overall attitude) was the whole trope that if a woman drops a handkerchief (first of all, which woman carries a handkerchief anymore?)... the man will immediately swoop down and pick it up. So dated, so old. That part didn't work for me.

Another thing that bugged me about Pitbull's commentary is that he constantly was referring to things people did in rehearsal. You're supposed to be judging just what's in front of you, dude. On show night. Grrrr.

HOT OR NOT: Not
JUDGES: 28 (out of 40)

James and Sharna are another of my top favorite couples, week after week. James speaks in his package about his alter ego, Ricardo, who brings the sexy. But he's fooling no one. Everyone knows that Canadian guys are the sexiest guys on the planet.

And this week, they are doing the sexiest dance: rumba. Not sure who thought up this sexy lace number of a shirt for James to wear, but wow. (Way sexier than Ryan Lochte's kneepads, I'll tell ya.)

All this nonsense about James "not being an actor," is just crazy. He invented a persona called Ricardo, for gosh sakes. If that's not acting...

Julianne says that James is "hands-down, the best male dancer we've ever had on this show." :-0 Pitbull misses his cue when they give the scores. The voiceover announcer actually has to say: "Pitbull" twice. *shakes head*

HOT OR NOT: Muy caliente (as Ricardo would say)
JUDGES: 38 (out of 40)

Marilu and Derek is an interesting work-in-progress. Derek made an interesting comment in the package about Marilu's legs, and how he didn't want to look at them cause "she's my mom's age." But hey, go for it. Lots of older ladies are pretty darn sexy, Marilu among them.

Their salsa continues on last week's dance evolution of Marilu.

HOT OR NOT: Not
JUDGES: 34 (out of 40)

First, Gleb is a bit full of himself. He posits that this Argentine tango is going to be the "hottest one ever" on DWTS. (It isn't.) In point of fact, to my eyes, it's not even as hot as the first dance they did this season. Certainly NOT the hottest Argentine tango on this show (just a quick pause brings to mind not only a couple that Val did, a couple that Maks did, but also one steamy one that Sharna did. Plus at least one that Mark Ballas did. All WAY sexier. And that's not even pausing to think about it.)

Here's really the gist of it. Let's use Gleb's dance and compare it to last season's sexiest Argentine tango (by a country mile): Mark and Paige, the dance with the white shirt.

Gleb's starts out with a bed center stage. (Gag. Can we say "on the nose"?) With black satin sheets on the bed. (Double gag.)

Mark Ballas, on the other hand, had a progression of passion. As the dance progressed, it got hotter and hotter and hotter, clothes were being taken off, but they were still dancing. There was a table involved, but it was all a dance of passion.

Jana is already darn near naked at the start. Plus, they are dancing to Selena Gomez (not the sexiest song).

Then, there's this. Their big set piece. Did no one mention to him that taking a cold shower usually means dampening hot lust? Not amping it up... So yes, it's got a gimmick that no Argentine tango has had before, but it didn't in any way make it hotter. The dance itself is supposed to be what makes it hot. Ugh.

These two really bug me. The judges (since Len is not there, especially) really loved it. I did not. Gleb throws his wet shirt at Bruno (cause if Bruno is aroused, he always gives good scores, so good way to get a 10). But then, during the comments, Pitbull says to Jana (completely inappropriately): "If you want, you can go ahead and toss that dress over."

Really, ABC? Really, Disney company? You have this guy judging? It was so rude, it was unspeakable. I really hope they never have him back as a judge again. This incident was a fiasco.

HOT OR NOT: Not
JUDGES: 40 (out of 40) (gag)

We come out of commercial to a rumba bumper by Allison Holker and Keo Motsepe (to "Light My Fire"), which to me, was way hotter than the dance everyone was just raving about.

Artem and Maureen, Week 6. Courtesy of Just Jared.

Maureen and Artem and troupe. Courtesy of Just Jared.

Then, Maureen and Artem do a splashy samba, with lots of color and troupe dancers. And streamers! But this one seemed more of a strain for her, although I enjoyed watching it.

HOT OR NOT: Not
JUDGES: 31 (out of 40)

For my money, this Argentine tango, danced to "Hotel California," was just as hot (or even hotter) than Jana and Gleb's version. No shower scenes, no bed in the middle of the set. Just a nice Argentine tango. And I personally like Calvin's connection with Lindsay more than Jana and Gleb's.

Lindsay knows how to get there: through amazing choreography, with some stunning lifts, but just straight up Argentine tango. No gimmicks. That's what this competition is supposed to be about. Here's hoping that Lindsay and Calvin get further in this competition than Jana and Gleb. Because they deserve to.

HOT OR NOT: Hot
JUDGES: 37 (out of 40)

Val, in his package, preparing Laurie for Latin Week: "There's going to be a lot of men ripping their shirts off." (beat) Laurie: "Don't you usually rip YOUR shirt off?" Val, to 16-year-old Laurie: "NO!"

So Val got around the whole hotness thing by packing the dance full of salsa content, which Laurie executed wonderfully.

HOT OR NOT: She's 16, not applicable. Good salsa though.
JUDGES: 37 (out of 40)

MICHE FAVORITES OF LATIN NIGHT
1. Terra and Sasha (paso doble)
2. James and Sharna (rumba)
3. Calvin and Lindsay (Argentine tango)
4. Laurie and Val (salsa)

PLEASE GO NOW
1. Ryan and Cheryl
2. Jana and Gleb
3. Marilu and Derek

NEXT WEEK: Different Era Dances and TEAM dances

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DWTS S22 Week 2: Not Very Sexy Latin Night

This, from the opening number of Week 2, choreographed by "the birthday girl, Mandy Moore." First, let's say HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Mandy Moore, and DWTS got infinitely better once you started choreographing so many of its numbers.

But, oh what to say about Week 2 on Dancing with the Stars, Latin Night? First, the good news. Geraldo Rivera is voted out. But second, there were really no steamy Latin dances tonight. But there were many good, even great ones. So, let's break it down in order.

This was the dance that made me sit up and go, "Wow! JODIE and Keo could win this!" What a luscious samba. And that gold! Both her outfit (stunning) and all the really cool gold paint on Keo, to say nothing of his hot pants... Wow, was this amazing to watch.

I quite like Marla Maples and Tony Dovolani as a team. But still, upon second viewing, she does seem a bit awkward and stiff. She hit all the standard Argentine tango moves, but it's a complicated dance, and it didn't flow from her. Still I liked them.

Then... UGH... then, we had this.

Ugh. In all the seasons I've been watching DWTS, I've never ONCE seen someone dressed up as someone else. This isn't SNL, for gosh sakes. So this moron decides to come out like this... UGH... and in his package, he talks about how he has "no feeling in his right foot." (Why do they let these idiots do DWTS? Plenty of people with complete feeling who wanna do this show... UGH.) Horrible dance.

So, personally, I couldn't get rid of him fast enough. Sheesh. (Poor Edyta.)

This, however, was followed by one of the best dances of the night, choreographed by the brilliant Mark Ballas. Sadly not danced by him, however. :-(  He had hurt his back in rehearsal, so Alan stepped in for him, and did an amazing job.

Mark Ballas always does amazing choreography. Week 2. Paige and Alan.

Boys just don't know what to do when they are forced to dance a rumba with the luscious and lovely Miss Sharna Burgess. Antonio Brown tried. He did.

And he danced the dance, but was often felled by what he tactfully called, "Blood flow." Blood flow, indeed.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, here's Sasha dancing with curvy Kim Fields. I really enjoyed this dance, and watching these two in general.

Peta and Nyle tackle a rumba that Len thought was rushed, but Carrie Ann thought was "stunning."

Then, there was this dreadfulness. This woman may be beautiful, but she sure cannot dance. This song (Pata Pata) was one of the most danceable songs ever written, and she still seemed like she was walking through it. No musicality or sense of beat at all. Ugh. Who can't dance to Pata Pata? C'mon.

Mischa tries to explain the bad performance away by saying that she couldn't hear the music. And that when the live band played, "everything changed." Bruno: "So THAT's what happened..." Carrie Ann laughs and turns her head away.

Folks, it was terrible. No excuses.

The judges showed their 5 paddles again (for her and 4s for Geraldo) in response.

So there was the whole "Barbie drill sergeant" thing. And the whole "being late = $100" and the "I'm charging for farts" thing. Witney is gonna be a rich woman. (Witney is donating the money to the Skin Cancer Foundation.) Oh, and it's a "whole lot more expensive in the locker room." :-0  Things you don't know about football players... *sigh*

But it was more hip hop. Not my favorite dance of the night.

Wanya continues to show us why he's one of the top competitors in this competition (with Lindsay), knocking this salsa right out of the park. The costumes and camera angles really worked together with this one, showcasing every last movement. Great great stuff here.

Keep it going, Wanya!

Karina and Doug did an incredible paso doble. Strong dance, great music, wonderful costumes and lighting. Good stuff.

With Karina's great choreography, and the fabulous troupe dancers, Doug Flutie became a contender with this dance.

MICHE'S FAVORITE DANCES OF WEEK 2, LATIN NIGHT

1. Wanya and Lindsay (salsa)
2. Paige and Alan (Mark) (salsa)
3. Jodie and Keo (samba)
4. Ginger and Val (samba)
5. Doug and Karina (paso doble)
6. Antonio and Sharna (rumba)
7. Marla and Tony (Argentine tango)
8. Kim and Sasha (salsa)

OH THANK GOD
1. Geraldo Rivera's Elimination

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DWTS Week 7: Sexy Sweaty Skimpy Latin Night

Meryl and Maks doing a salsa. Courtesy of On The Red Carpet/ABC/Adam Taylor.

Controversies and injuries permeated this week’s episode of Dancing with the Stars. It was Latin Night, which translated to sexy, steamy, and mostly not a lot of clothes. (I thought it was wonderful!) Some others did not share that view.

Host Erin Andrews’ best move so far this season was to goad #DWTS viewers to vote (via Twitter) whether or not Tony should dance with his shirt off or on. Of course, the vote was “Off.” Sadly, the couple’s fate also ended up being “off”...the show. Although they were due to be ejected, IMHO. They were my least favorite at this point in the competition. NeNe never really got the whole complicated steps part. She definitely had the big personality down, but dance isn’t all about that, sorry.

Interesting changes this season to DWTS. As you can see, costuming is not what it once was, it’s much more modern and with the times these days. So too, the music. Much more heavy beat, club kind of music. I do think it’ll go far to bring in a younger audience, but still not sure if I like it.

Val and Danica do a samba. Courtesy of ABC/Adam Taylor

Let’s jump to the injuries. Danica broke her rib, yet still decided to dance. I do believe that if she were not injured, this dance would’ve been one of my favorites all season. But they opted not to do any of the lifts they had planned.

This dance also brings up something which I find curious about this season. Previously, the dance being judged was only the two people at hand. More and more this season, the dancers are bringing in the troupe as backup. Certainly it adds more depth to the presentation, but I don’t know that it’s entirely fair to those who only dance with two people.

Val and Danica do a steamy samba.

Also dancing with a passel of people (and no injuries!), in the dance I considered the dance of the night, were Maks and Meryl, doing a salsa. (See pic above.) I still love this pairing and what they are doing with dance the most, and want them to win.

Also on the injury tangent, we have Derek and Amy. They had an amazing rumba that they performed. Very sexy, very sensual. The pictures don’t even do it justice. It was just fluid poetry to watch.

Derek Hough and Amy Purdy do a tantalizing rumba.

But sometime after their dance, she got injured and had to go to the hospital midshow. She was unable to participate in the team dances, and they had to judge it from the rehearsal footage (which was amazing).

Here’s hoping that both injured competitors regain their health swiftly.

There were other controversies. Meryl (one half of the Charlie and Meryl ice dancing gold medal team) is knocking out 10 after 10 after 10 being paired with Maks. Charlie, not so much. Sharna, to her credit, is choreographing some amazing stuff, but I think that Charlie is his own worst enemy here. I really do think that in ice dancing (or ice skating competition in general) it really is all about the scores. With dance (and DWTS in particular), it’s about the dance, and Charlie is forgetting that. Or needs to learn it.

They were tasked to do a paso doble (which we haven’t seen nearly enough of this season yet).

Sharna Burgess and Charlie White. Courtesy of ABC/Adam Taylor. 

This picture really says it all (why their scores were not 10s). She is totally in it, and he looks like he’s still struggling. Sorry Charlie, but I can promise you this. You are going to be voted out of this thing before Meryl is.

Now we get to the big controversy that’s blowing up social media. Mind you, these are the people who got all up in arms about Janet Jackson’s nipple, so I tend to ignore them.

In one corner, we have the Candaces of the world (who actually send her children out of the studio during Peta’s dance!), and then we have this.

Latin dances are supposed to be hot, steamy, sexy. On this night, there was no more sexy one than Peta and James’ samba. Her choreography was stunning, the concept was great. He’s a gas station worker, and she stops by for some gas. Along the way, they are stripping off each other’s clothes, and she’s dancing most of the time in skimpy lingerie. I thought it was awesome.

Peta Murgatroyd and James Maslow do a steamy samba. Courtesy of On the Red Carpet/ABC/Adam Taylor.

Now, on the other side of the spectrum... At the beginning of Latin Night, when I saw what Candace was wearing, compared to the others, I thought she looked like a nun. Certainly we knew she wasn’t going to be wearing what Peta was wearing. However, that being said, I was pretty stunned when I really enjoyed their Argentine tango. Candace seriously rocked it.

Candace Cameron-Bure and Mark Ballas do an Argentine tango.

Mark Ballas and Candace Cameron Bure do an Argentine tango. Courtesy of OTRC/ABC/Adam Taylor.

It was also interesting that Candace and Mark went to a sports psychologist as part of their package, and she admitted that she’d never been in therapy! (An actress never before in therapy? WHAT?) Anyway, it had the result of making her more vulnerable and human to the audience. She remarked that she felt like she had been letting Mark down, and I am glad she came to that realization, because her dance tonight was much better.

So, as much as I hate to admit it, Candace does deserve to stay another week. I was proud of her.

Our lovely hosts, Tom Bergeron and Erin Andrews. Ricky Martin, guest judge, behind.

The losing team.

As I predicted last week, Derek’s team (again) won the team dance, and someone from the losing team went home.

The winning team (minus Amy Purdy, who was in the hospital). Courtesy of ABC/Adam Taylor.

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